You are NOT going to believe this...

[hsnterprize]

...or maybe you would consider who the subject is.

Local news reporters are at Harry Caray's Restaurant covering the distilling the Bartman Ball in Budweiser (of course, we all know that's how Harry would've wanted it) that will eventually be added to a spaghetti sauce and served to idiots (oh, I'm sorry...paying customers) with the proceeds going to charity. A reporter asked questions to the chef, a distiller, and a nutritionist who said after the process is completely done, the sauce will be totally edible and safe. Ed Curran of the CBS 2 Morning Show says the strings are being distilled into the "essence", or a liquid that will be poured into the sauce.

This is a pretty neat idea for a recipe. Why not try some of my fecal matter in a new sauce to top the hot dogs at Wrigley. Or better yet...why not distill some common sense into the drillrods who go to that joint so they can see they're being bamboozled again.

...but it's all for charity, right?

EAT THIS FOR CHARITY, YOU LOSERS!!!!!!!!!

[hsnterprize]

According to WGN's Morning News, the recipe for this concoction calls for the ball shreds distilled in beer, along with vodka, rosemary, thyme, and bay leaves. Then, once this crap is just about done (and other TV stations showed this), a laser beam is shot through Harry's glasses before it's served to the pissants (my bad again...I gotta watch my language here...I'm a reputable journalist, and that's why I'm NOT at this joint. That's "bonafide Cubs fans").

Man...this is a great chance for some publicity for a struggling restaurant like Harry Caray's. Here's a marketing line for this great fundraiser...this dinner is brought to you by Pepto-Bismol...because after you're done eating this crap, if you don't want to do this... , take Pepto-Bismol. It coats, soothes, and relieves...but it won't make you smarter.

[Cubbiesuck13]

In the Cubune, the quickhits article even makes fun of them. Leave it to Flub fans to embrace loosing, even if it's the biggest choke job since Buckner's Red Sox.

[34 Inch Stick]

I do have to say this guy Grant DePorter has become a PR wizz with all of the attention he has garnered for that restaurant over the last few years.

I think they should dig up Harry's bones, take slivers of them, place each sliver in a gilded holding vessel and sell it as holy relics to the pilgrims who visit the shrine.

[Jabroni]

Originally Posted by 34 Inch Stick

I do have to say this guy Grant DePorter has become a PR wizz with all of the attention he has garnered for that restaurant over the last few years.

I think they should dig up Harry's bones, take slivers of them, place each sliver in a gilded holding vessel and sell it as holy relics to the pilgrims who visit the shrine.

This is truly embarrassing. I bet even Flubs fans think so.

[MUsoxfan]

Originally Posted by 34 Inch Stick

I think they should dig up Harry's bones, take slivers of them, place each sliver in a gilded holding vessel and sell it as holy relics to the pilgrims who visit the shrine.

Don't give them any ideas. Pretty soon Harry will be on display in a glass coffin like Lenin was for all those years.

....Maybe that shouldn't have been in teal

[Cowhead418]

I told a lot of Cub fans at my high school about this spaghetti BS and they all thought it was the dumbest thing they ever heard. So, yes even Cub fans think this idea is asinine.

[SoxxoS]

Originally Posted by Cowhead418

I told a lot of Cub fans at my high school about this spaghetti BS and they all thought it was the dumbest thing they ever heard. So, yes even Cub fans think this idea is asinine.

When the yuppies get plastered after work, anything looks or sounds good. I think Harry Carey's is playing that "munchie" angle.

[mcfish]

Originally Posted by Cubbiesuck13

Leave it to Flub fans to embrace loosing, even if it's the biggest choke job since Buckner's Red Sox.

The best part is, they pretty much topped that choke job the very next year with the awful last week they had considering how few wins they needed to be the wild card. And then the Yankees have to go and blow it by topping that again 2 weeks later in a choke job that might never be topped.

[StillMissOzzie]

Yes, I'll have the spaghetti with the horsehide marinara, please.

Even the sCrUB fans I know think that this is a shameful re-milking of what was a stupid, but PR-generating, stunt in the first place.

SMO

[Hangar18]

Originally Posted by 34 Inch Stick

I do have to say this guy Grant DePorter has become a PR wizz with all of the attention he has garnered for that restaurant over the last few years.

Grant DePorter wears a Red Jacket with tails, a black Top Hat,
and barks "Hurry Hurry Hurry, Step Right Up Cub Fans" ...............
and the Blue Sheep step right on up, fistfuls of cash, drunk on their own hype, ready to buy and believe anything. Only cub fans.

[RKMeibalane]

I'm surprised the Cubs haven't tried to bring Harry Caray back to life, yet. I expect them to try it eventually, once the 2005 season goes down the drain for them.

[SoxxoS]

Originally Posted by RKMeibalane

I'm surprised the Cubs haven't tried to bring Harry Caray back to life, yet. I expect them to try it eventually, once the 2005 season goes down the drain for them.

They actually have the promotion this season...It's called "Weekend at the Urinal." This is similar to "Weekend at Bernie's" except Harry Carey is exhumed and placed in the broadcasters booth singing the 7th inning stretch with strings attached to his body.

[eastchicagosoxfan]

This is what happens when you sell your baseball soul to the Devil. Garbage like that becomes important. The park is full, but you'll never win. Faust is smiling.

[SOXPHILE]

Every time I think I've seen the lowest depths of stupidity that Cub Nation can wallow in, they dig themselves down a little deeper. The fact that this story has even been mentioned in print in any Chicago newspaper, and covered on T.V. continues the descent. If by June, the Cubs are struggling in 3rd place or worse, what do the blue & red throngs do next to break the curse ? After a game, do they gather all the urinal cakes from the troughs, and burn them in a bonfire in the outfield, while they chant the names of past Cubs players ? ("Deliver us from this curse ! Ryno ! Pray for us. Moreland ! Pray for us. Santo ! Pray for us. Both Hundleys ! Pray for us. Mike Vail ! Pray for us...)
If so, I'm sure they'll get the camera crews from all the networks to cover it as one of the top stories of the evening, and the Trib will have a big full color picture on the front page of the sports section with the headline "BURNIN' THE CURSE AWAY" or something like that.