Not for Sox Fans: anti-cubs websites

[CubsfansareDRUNK]

From http://www.angelfire.com/il2/cubssuck/wrigley.htm

Dirty Secret #1: Wrigley Field's Neighborhood has more crime than Comiskey's.

That's no typo -- it's the truth as reported in Chicago police crime statistics. Since opening day, the area around Comiskey has reported just four serious crimes compared with twenty-five around Wrigley. Only a rube would fail to understand how Wrigley's neighborhood encourages trouble. In every direction surrounding the ballpark are an endless series of buildings and alleys for drunks and troublemakers to linger amongst and cause trouble with fans and pedestrians alike. Meanwhile Comiskey's parking lots serve hardly more than their intended purpose: providing safe convenient access to White Sox baseball. Comiskey is dangerous? Get a clue -- only a simpleton wouldn't know Wrigley is where the real danger lurks.

Dirty Secret #2: Wrigley's old traditions aren't so old.

Has any Wrigley tradition been copied more than the old hand-operated scoreboard or the outfield ivy? Though most Cubs fans can tell you theirs is the oldest park in the National League, few if any admit the scoreboard and ivy are relatively new additions to Wrigley Field. The current outfield seating was constructed in the 1940's, including the "old" scoreboard and original ivy. Both of these were the ideas of Bill Veeck, future owner of the Cleveland Indians, St. Louis Browns, and most famously, the Chicago White Sox (twice). He was smart enough to know his talent was hopelessly wasted in the Cubs front office and left to pursue bigger and better things.

Veeck went on to invent the exploding scoreboard, the picnic area, the bullpen bar, the outfield showerhead, and countless more innovations for Comiskey Park -- home of our Sox. It was his idea too, back in the mid-1970's to give Harry Caray a microphone and lead the singing during the seventh inning stretch at Old Comiskey.

Now legions of blithering idiots wearing Cubs caps think it's their tradition. Each day they stand and sing along with an endless stream of has-been "celebrities" (like the tired and overweight Tony Orlando) or mindless jocks (like the tired and mediocre Eddie Olcyk), making a macabre scene only the Tribune Company's accountants could love. Have they no shame?

Dirty Secret #3: Those aren't homerun balls Cubs fans throw back.

Ha Ha! People from Iowa can be so dumb. They honestly think the wise guys sitting in Wrigley's outfield are throwing back homerun balls hit off Cubs pitching. What these rubes (and ignorant fans around the country) don't realize is that Wrigley's bleacher bums bring extra balls to the ballpark to fool you. They pocket the real ball and throw back one of their worthless ones. If someone else catches the homerun baseball, they offer their worthless one in trade. Finally, if some silly do-gooder catches the homerun ball (in Chicago politics they are known as "goo-goos" -- someone not on the take), they simply toss their own ball onto the field, giving every simpleton in America the illusion that the homerun ball was thrown back.

Come on America, don't be such fools! This is Chicago!!! If we can fix a courtroom (or a World Series), don't you think we can play a charade with a silly homerun ball? Sheesh...

Dirty Secret #4: Cubs fans don't wash their hands -- for good reason.

The Tribune's WGN-TV loves to show beautiful half-dressed ladies amongst the crowd in Wrigley's bleachers. What they hope no one knows about is the filthiness of the hands of the eligible guys sitting around them. They're dirty for a good reason. Restroom facilities at Wrigley are hopelessly crowded -- especially in the bleachers where the heaviest drinking occurs. Rather than endure the pain of waiting in the endless lines at Wrigley's urine troughs, the men's restroom sinks provide quick relief. The sensible Cubs fan knows not to use the sinks, but the ignorant ones do -- ick! As for the ones who don't wash their hands, we know what their hands have been touching -- ick ick!!

So stop and think next time the Tribune Company's TV cameras pander to your lustful heart. Would you really want to meet a girl who willingly sits amongst (or worse, gets pawed by) such sloven pigs? You degenerate you!

We at White Sox Interactive thought you should know. Sox fans, our hands are clean!

It says its from www.whitesoxinteractive.com Most of the material on http://www.angelfire.com/il2/cubssuck is from WSI. I frequent that site and most of the stuff they say on it is the truth. I cant believe they throw back their own balls to make it look like they threw back the homerun ball. thats just classless. What i can believe is that none of them wash their hands. Thats vile.

[Iwritecode]

Originally Posted by CubsfansareDRUNK

From http://www.angelfire.com/il2/cubssuck/wrigley.htm



It says its from www.whitesoxinteractive.com Most of the material on http://www.angelfire.com/il2/cubssuck is from WSI. I frequent that site and most of the stuff they say on it is the truth. I cant believe they throw back their own balls to make it look like they threw back the homerun ball. thats just classless. What i can believe is that none of them wash their hands. Thats vile.

Yep, it's all true. The crime stats have been posted on this website as well as the throwing back a fake "homerun" ball.

The bathroom thing I can't vouch for because I rarely go there but it would not suprise me. The plumping in that place is horribly outdated...

[Baby Fisk]

"Lies! All callous lies perpetrated by the white-legged infidels! They fester in pools of their own rancid jealousy over our most beautiful and holy shrine on the north side of heaven! There is no crime in Wrigleyville! There is no illness, or disease or unhappiness either! The most excellent Chicago Cubs are continuing to win the World Series every year! [*pause*] Seriously folks, if anyone out there is looking for a fundraising speaker, or celebrity dinner guest, please call my number. I really need the work. I can do kids' parties too. They can beat me like a pinata for $100 bucks. Please! Anything! I need the work!"

[doublem23]

The cime stat is a little bit misleading because U.S. Cellular Field has a smaller population surrounding it, mostly because the park is surrounded by parking lots, train tracks, and an 8-lane expressway. With the greater number of people in a tighter radius, I think you are just bound to get more crimes in Wrigleyville, especially considering a number of them are just drunks pissing on other people's lawns.

That is not to say one neighborhood is better than the other; I think anyone with a brain that has been to both Bridgeport/Bronzeville and Wrigleyville can see that the neighborhoods are comparably nice.

And the home run ball is true. I think in 2003, the Cubs had a game on FOX and their cameramen actually caught a guy in the bleachers catching a home run, turning around reaching in his pocket to pull out another ball and throwing that one on the field. I think there has been more evidence as well, but that I know for certain because I saw it live. Hilarious stuff.

Also, Cub Suck is not affiliated with White Sox Interactive, it is merely run by a poster here, ihatethecubs, and provides us all with much needed hilarity.

[CubsfansareDRUNK]

Originally Posted by doublem23

the Cubs had a game on FOX and their cameramen actually caught a guy in the bleachers catching a home run, turning around reaching in his pocket to pull out another ball and throwing that one on the field. I think there has been more evidence as well, but that I know for certain because I saw it live. Hilarious stuff.

[Dadawg_77]

Originally Posted by CubsfansareDRUNK

Also according to Mike Murphy of the Score, the first bleacher bum to throw a ball back, tossed a fake ball.

[CubsfansareDRUNK]

Originally Posted by Dadawg_77

Also according to Mike Murphy of the Score, the first bleacher bum to throw a ball back, tossed a fake ball.

i thought they couldnt sink any lower

[WinningUgly!]

Wrigley Field's Dirty Secrets

[Uncle_Patrick]

Originally Posted by CubsfansareDRUNK

i thought they couldnt sink any lower

You can never set your standards too low when regarding Cubs fans.

[bhayes520]

unfortunately i had the shame of attending a game at the friendly crapdish last year, and i sat next to someone who said they caught two balls the year before and they had to throw one of the real ones back because he only brought one spare....

this just further proves that cubs fans are tools

[TornLabrum]

The scoreboard and vines are off by a few years. They were constructed around 1938, iirc.

[santo=dorf]

Originally Posted by Dadawg_77

Also according to Mike Murphy of the Score

Tuesday night he took a call from Iowa and asked the Cubs fan if he was going to the Cubs convention because to his understanding, half of the people at the Cubs convention are from Iowa. shocker!

This website also lists Wrigley as the #1 experience in Chicago for tourists.
http://chicago.citysearch.com/roundup/40016/

Wrigley Field
1060 W Addison St, Chicago, IL
Sip an Old Style and cheer on the Cubbies from the lively bleacher seats of this historic ballpark.

Wrigley is filled with nothing but tourists from Iowa I tell ya....

[ChiSoxRowand]

That is a GREAT website. My favorite thing is the picture of the sign that says welcome to wrigley field home of the Chicago Cubs and right under that it says "we f****ng suck."

[balke]

I don't understand this new section fully, would this go here? Someone posted the most hilarious anti-cubs website in the universe like 6 months ago, and I don't have it saved on my computer. I can't find it now.

My cuz has never really seen anything on the internet, I wanted to show him that site. Featured the picture of sosa's helmet exploding from being beaned in the head, all those morons crying over that Florida game, Sosa pics pre- and post-steroids, and several stories immortalizing thier loser ways.

If anyone knows what I'm talking about, or have other recommendations they would be appreciated. Thanks.

[MUsoxfan]

This one?