Soxfest 2013

[amsteel]

Orlando Hudson will be hired as a Spanish translator despite not speaking Spanish. Upon learning this, management decides to duct tape his mouth shut the rest of the weekend.

[QueerGirrl]

Originally Posted by BainesHOF

Phillip Humber's autographs begin perfectly readable before degenerating into an unintelligible scribble.

Hahaha!! You guys are awesome.

[Rocky Soprano]

Hawk will be giving complimentary eye exams.
*MLB Umps have been invited.

[eriqjaffe]

Brent Morel will show up and hope somebody remembers him.

[DeadMoney]

The Opening Ceremonies will be scheduled for 7 PM, but at the last minute the White Sox will change the time to 1 PM because one player and a few members of the front office have prior commitments (that they've known about for months).

[Rocky Soprano]

Kenny Williams will not be in attendance due to high admission prices and only having 50 cents to spend.

[Harry Potter]

Originally Posted by DeadMoney

The Opening Ceremonies will be scheduled for 7 PM, but at the last minute the White Sox will change the time to 1 PM because one player and a few members of the front office have prior commitments (that they've known about for months).

Oy vey!

[amsteel]

Matt Thornton shows up, Sox fans try to kill him.

[amsteel]

Jordan Danks gives an exquisite, in-depth answer to a particularly challenging question from the audience. Is immediately asked to leave the Palmer House.

[DeadMoney]

All of our Major League relievers have pretty good autograph sessions the first two days, but on the third day Robin Ventura inexplicably tells them to go home and has minor leaguers take over their sessions.

[mrfourni]

Kenny Williams will originally report that Chris Sale will move from a regular autograph session to only signing autographs when other players arms were tired. Sale will make a phone call and change KW's mind shortly after the announcement is made.

[amsteel]

The Palmer House is shut down 2 days before Soxfest due to a faulty sprinkler system.

Coop fixes it.

[eriqjaffe]

Adam Dunn signs the most awesome autographs ever sometimes, but more often than not completely fails to make contact with the paper.

[ChiSoxGal85]

Dayan Viciedo tries to sign autographs, but his pen moves so quickly that it keeps lighting the paper on fire.

[shingo10]

Jordan Danks will try to replace the Tank at an autograph table but trip and fall, knocking the table over.