Nice tie-in with the 2013 team's ad theme, "The Coaster Rules
1. Win. Or die trying. On second thought, maybe just die.
4. Knowing what's coming and hitting what's coming -- not gonna happen.
5. Every pitch is strike three.
6. The best seat in the house is available for $5 on StubHub.
7. Coaster ball requires lethargy, poor defense, and utterly no discipline.
10. Only one statistic matters: L
11. When jumping off the White Sox bandwagon, do not, I repeat DO NOT, let the door hit you in the ass.
22. When attending a Chicago White Sox game, do your best to stay awake.
23. When all is said and done, make sure you "said" more than you done.
25. A good outfielder doesn't see the wall. He watches balls fly far over it.
28. Always give fans something they can take away from the game. Like a shred of their pride.
30. Good enough, isn't likely.
33. The best way to get out of a hole is to stop digging yourself deeper.
37. Never walk. Even when the pitcher refuses to throw you a strike.
66. There is nothing loveable about losing. (No edit required.)