Thanks for a solid tenure, Matt. I'll always remember you coming in to Touch Me during your first season here. For most of your time, you were as reliable as a reliever could be. I still feel bad that you gave up the game-winning hit in the 2010 All-Star Game, but otherwise, congrats on your time here. Hope the rest of your career brings good luck.
If found, please return to 333 W. 35th Street, Chicago. Generous reward offered.