Autumn and a young man's thoughts turn to...football. Hm. Funny how that never caught on like the saying about springtime.

Football season is upon us, however, and with it comes thoughts of something else I did when I was young and hormonal and in need of a date-created my very own football team.

I don't remember where or when the actual idea for a football team came to me-I had always imagined fictional football players the same way I had imagined fictional baseball...

I can't edit this "headline anymore since the thread is closed, so I am putting my revisions here. I know it seems a waste since this is four years old, but I liked those threads and I like writing. So I go back and revisit them, they appeal to my desire to write "Onion" type headlines.


Shani Davis wins gold
Davis wears Sox hat; befuddled foreigners ask "vat es 'ess-oh-ex?'"
Isaacson: Cubs hat would've been easily recognized

...

Twins demand that Selig force White Sox to forfeit all remaining Target Field games

"Games that they would lose in the Metrodome they now stand a good chance of winning, and that might mean the difference in winning or losing the division. And that's just so unfair. Everything happens to us." Former pitcher/Hall of Fame bitcher Bert Blyleven


Twins ask Selig to give them the division title "right now"

"If Morneau hadn't gotten...

Ken Burns' sequel to Baseball will be on September 28 and 29. Oh, boy. I can't wait. Not. Let's see-we'll get this.


2004 Boston Red Sox win World Series!!!
Stephen King, Doris Kearns Goodwin, Dennis Leary, Ben Affleck, Dan Shaughnessy, and all long-suffering Boston fans will chip in and reveal their innermost thoughts about the Sawx winning it all, and how time stood still, and how they cried thinking of Gramps, Granny, Uncle Chowder, Aunt Clammy and all those dearly-departed...

The City of Chicago is basking in the glow of the Hawks' glorious Stanley Cup victory over the Flyers (guess the series wasn't fixed after all). Let's take a look at how the Chicago media is celebrating the Hawks winning their first Cup since 1961:

Blackhawks win Stanley Cup!
Defeat Flyers in 6 for first title since '61


Telander: Now my poor little Cubbies stand alone as the Chicago team that hasn't won anything in my lifetime *boo hoo sob sob*
...