"Hello, Brandon!"

"Oh, hello Mr. Silverman. How are you today?"

I'm cheerful as hell, Brandon. Because I've done it! I have really, finally done it!!!"

"Done what, Mr. Silverman?"

"Whattaya mean, done what? Don't play dumb, you were in all the pitch meetings! I have found the answer to that god damn Love Boat, that is what I have done!"

"Oh, yeah, Mr. Silverman. Well, about that...

There are some more legendarily awful moments in Hofstede's book of bad TV. Some are well known, others famous only to geeks such as myself. There is one particular event that has gone down as such a bad program that I am surprised that he ranked it only number 25 on his list. I have seen others rank it as one of the most wretched moments in TV history.

"Tune in...turn on...drop out." Timothy Leary's famous phrase personified the counter-culture of the 1960's-a signal to...

One of my favorite books is one titled What Were They Thinking? The 100 Dumbest Events in Television History by David Hofstede, written in 2004. The book ranks (in his own order) the 100 worst moments on television. I find books with lists (100 Best, 20 worst, etc) like potato chips-there is no reason for them to exist, but one you start in on them, you can't stop. The book is addictive, at some points laugh-out-loud funny. I like a lot of the stuff he wrote, but disagree with his rankings. Just...

One of the things I wanted to be when I was younger was a baseball player. I realize I am no different than any kid at that age, but I had an unusual way of going about working on my ambition-by fantasizing about what a great major leaguer I was going to be someday. I was always undersized, so I dreamed of one day being a hustling, peppery second baseman like Nellie Fox, the King of Hustling Pepper. The thing is, I never did anything about it. Oh, I played softball in grammar school-was the first...

I have a very active fantasy life. I come up with scenarios, plots, characters, stories, dialogues, monologues, etc. One might think this is a good thing-that kind of life means one is creative. Well, it has worked to my detriment. I have never been able to meld any of my stories, plots, etc. into any kind of cohesive whole-just bits here and pieces there. I did sit down and try a few times, but quickly lost patience. Don't know why, I guess it is because I am well aware of how many writers try...