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In honor of actor Andy Garcia and his (unintentionally) hilarious reaction to Sofia (Mary Corleone) Coppola's death scene in "The Godfather, Part III."
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the Agony of the Kirk

Posted 04-11-2009 at 04:32 PM by TommyJohn
Updated 04-12-2009 at 10:56 AM by TommyJohn

Tommy Lasorda, meanwhile, tipped his cap to the Knights. “They just flat out beat us” he said. “We wanted it. We wanted it bad. I thought we were comin’ into tomorrow tied for first after the Big Fella went deep in the 16th. But we couldn’t hold it.”

Orel Hershiser was glum. “The record is great, and I’m happy that the fans cheered for me when I got it” he said. “But I would have gladly given up nine runs in the first if we had come back to win 10-9. I would gladly given up a run and won 2-1. I wanted that pennant more than anything.
Without it, the record means nothing.”

Kirk Gibson was the most disappointed of all. “**** YOU, YOU MOTHER****ING PIECES OF ****!” He screamed at the gathered reporters. “I AIN’T GOT NUTHIN’ TO ****IN’ SAY! YOU HEAR ME, YOU ****IN’ DICKWADS? NUTHIN! **** YOU! GO **** YOURSELVES!! OR EACH OTHER!! ****IN’ *******!! WHAT THE **** DO YOU KNOW ABOUT ****IN’ BASEBALL? **** YOU!!!” Gibson ranted, while reporters stared in disbelief. More than one may have been ready to piss his pants in fright.

One enterprising reporter decided to try one more time, asking Gibson what the future held for him.

“What the **** do you care?” Gibson snarled. “****in’ *****dick. **** you!”

The reporter was bewildered. “*****dick? Kirk, talk about a contradiction in terms!” He said.

“”What did you say? WHAT THE **** DID YOU ASK ME, MOTHER****ER?”
A suddenly enraged Gibson yelled. “Hey, ******! THE TERMS OF MY MOTHER
****ING CONTRACT ARE NONE OF YOUR ****ING BUSINESS YOU HOMO MOTHER****ER! GOT THAT?”

The reporter bit his lip hard and smiled.

“WHAT THE ****? I SAID SOMETHING FUNNY, MOTHER****ER? DO YOU LIKE BEING CALLED A ****** HOMO, IS THAT IT?” Shouted Gibson.

“Never mind, Kirk. Never mind” the reporter said, then walked out fast, bursting into laughter upon exiting the clubhouse.
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