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In honor of actor Andy Garcia and his (unintentionally) hilarious reaction to Sofia (Mary Corleone) Coppola's death scene in "The Godfather, Part III."
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TribSports Live! with your host...

Posted 04-30-2011 at 12:02 PM by TommyJohn
Updated 04-30-2011 at 12:13 PM by TommyJohn

Announcer: (blows whistle) It's time for TribSports Live! And who's your favorite TribSports Live reporter??

Kids in audience: BOZO!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Bozo races out, wearing a Cubs shirt and cap)

Bozo: Hey!! That's me!!! Haw! Haw! Haw! Haw! Haw! Haw! Haw! Haw! Haw! Haw!

Bozo: Welcome to TribSports Live! Today was a good day to be at the ballpark! If you like being in a ghetto that is! Haw! Haw! Old Comiskey Park is back and uglier than ever! Wrigley Field is far more impressive!The so-called Super Sox handled the patsy Browns 16-5! My mother could beat the Browns! Haw! Haw! What's so impressive about that? Just wait until the Stupor Sox face off against my Cubs! They'll play three different versions, 1936, 1964 and 1969! Belle, Thomas, Appling, Aparicio?? They are not nearly as impressive as my Cubs! Phil Cavaretta, Augie Galan, Gabby Hartnett, Billy Williams, Ernie Banks, Ron Santo, Fergie Jenkins! Now if that isn't the most impressive team in the history of the world, tell me what is! I'm feeling (begins to swoon) verklempt just thinking about it!

And the Cubs of 1936 are the defending National League Champs! So Chicago will get to see a REAL LIVE World Series team play! How impressive!! And the 1969 Cubs will play too! I can't wait! My boyhood heroes! In Wrigley Field! How impressive! They are the greatest team in Chicago history! Boy, if only they had won the World Series that year! The victory parade would have been the most impressive one ever! There would have been millions upon millions of Cub fans from all over the world!! Wowzers! And when they play, I'll get to interview Ernie Banks and Billy Williams! Are you all jealous of me?

Well, as for today, they say old Comiskey was sold out-yeah, right! They'll have half that crowd tomorrow! Unlike Wrigley, which is sold out every day! Now that's impressive! And I do hope you Sox fans don't mind that I along with the great majority of Chicagoans watched "Ice Road Truckers" instead of the game today! Haw! Haw! But wait until they play the Cubs! The old dump will be packed and the ratings will be more impressive than the Super Bowl!

Well, it's time for the TribSports Live Grand March! Let's all march to Wrigley, kiddies! Tune in tomorrow after the game! Well, I'll watch my Cubs, along with the rest of Chicago, and if the game ends early, we'll all tune in to reruns of "Hee Haw"! Hee Haw! Hee Haw! Hee Haw! Ready, kiddies?

Kids: YAAAAAAAYYYYY!!!!!!

Bozo: And........March! (sings in an off-key voice) Hey! Hey! Holy Mackerel! No dobt about it! The Cubs are on their w-a-a-a-a-a-a-y!
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