In honor of actor Andy Garcia and his (unintentionally) hilarious reaction to Sofia (Mary Corleone) Coppola's death scene in "The Godfather, Part III."
headlines from PI
I thought my Trib headlines about Barack Obama were gone after Politically Incorrect got revamped. They aren't, so here we go:
This first one was written the night Obama was elected. I felt that the joke was a bit stale, but I wrote it anyway.
Damn! I was thinking along the same lines. I don't know if the joke works because the Trib endorsed Obama, but in Dan McGrath's sports section today we might see something like this:
White Sox fan elected President
Red Sox fans confused
"I thought Jerry Remy was the President of Red Sox Nation"-celeb Bosox fan Matt Damon
William Ligue to be Secretary of Defense?
"Bin Laden? I'll sneak up behind him and kick his ass! After I get through with all Republicans who voted for McCain!" said Ligue, convicted felon and World's Number 1 White Sox Fan
White Sox fans rub latest success in all of our faces...again
"OK, so a White Sox fan got elected President. That was yesterday. Quit living in the past" -Chad Garrett, 25, Wrigleyville
Sullivan: Forget the Secret Service protecting the President, who's going to protect the rest of us?
Morrissey: A White Sox fan may be our new President, but it's still a Cub Nation
______________________________________
I know the "Tribune Headline" thread was closed a while ago and the jokes might be stale what with the Trib scaled down, but I just could not resist this one time:
Trib headline:
Obama won't be at White Sox Opener!
William Ligue to take his place?
McGrath: White Sox officially irrelevant
"Obama won't come to the Cell in April, but he'll be there in October-just like every other White Sox fan *sneer*"-Chad Dipley, Evanston
"Wait a minute. White Sox fans work? And they wear ties? *sneer*"-Brad Asswipe, Editor-in-Chief, The Heckler
Morrissey: If Hillary Clinton had been elected President, she would be at Cub Opener-further proof that this is a Cub country
Blago offers to throw out first pitch at Cub Opener for a million dollars
"Hey, everybody wants to throw out the first pitch at Wrigley. It's bleeping golden" says retired Gov
This first one was written the night Obama was elected. I felt that the joke was a bit stale, but I wrote it anyway.
Damn! I was thinking along the same lines. I don't know if the joke works because the Trib endorsed Obama, but in Dan McGrath's sports section today we might see something like this:
White Sox fan elected President
Red Sox fans confused
"I thought Jerry Remy was the President of Red Sox Nation"-celeb Bosox fan Matt Damon
William Ligue to be Secretary of Defense?
"Bin Laden? I'll sneak up behind him and kick his ass! After I get through with all Republicans who voted for McCain!" said Ligue, convicted felon and World's Number 1 White Sox Fan
White Sox fans rub latest success in all of our faces...again
"OK, so a White Sox fan got elected President. That was yesterday. Quit living in the past" -Chad Garrett, 25, Wrigleyville
Sullivan: Forget the Secret Service protecting the President, who's going to protect the rest of us?
Morrissey: A White Sox fan may be our new President, but it's still a Cub Nation
______________________________________
I know the "Tribune Headline" thread was closed a while ago and the jokes might be stale what with the Trib scaled down, but I just could not resist this one time:
Trib headline:
Obama won't be at White Sox Opener!
William Ligue to take his place?
McGrath: White Sox officially irrelevant
"Obama won't come to the Cell in April, but he'll be there in October-just like every other White Sox fan *sneer*"-Chad Dipley, Evanston
"Wait a minute. White Sox fans work? And they wear ties? *sneer*"-Brad Asswipe, Editor-in-Chief, The Heckler
Morrissey: If Hillary Clinton had been elected President, she would be at Cub Opener-further proof that this is a Cub country
Blago offers to throw out first pitch at Cub Opener for a million dollars
"Hey, everybody wants to throw out the first pitch at Wrigley. It's bleeping golden" says retired Gov
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