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In honor of actor Andy Garcia and his (unintentionally) hilarious reaction to Sofia (Mary Corleone) Coppola's death scene in "The Godfather, Part III."
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more headline stuff

Posted 12-04-2010 at 02:15 PM by TommyJohn
Updated 05-29-2011 at 10:43 AM by TommyJohn

Uribe cleared of all charges
Sox shortstop exonerated after "investigation"

O.J. Simpson, Robert Blake, Ray Lewis, Claus von Bulow and Bernard Goetz call to congratulate Uribe

"You got over! Alright!" They all tell him.

McGrath Editorial: If Sox fans can't stay out of jail at least Sox players can

Dusty Baker: "where's the outrage? If something like this had happened to Sammy Sosa, you guys would've [criticized] him."

Sullivan: Top 10 Guilty-as-Hell defendants who got away with it

Sox Fire Sale!
Garcia traded for two dead arms and a corpse to be named later; Garland next?

Rogers: Williams to trade entire rotation, looks like White Flag II, Cubs doing great job

Morrissey: Sox fans should be really annoyed. I wouldn't be surprised if attendance dropped next year; will Cubs moves allow them to take back town?

Sullivan: Sox trades mean fewer people at park next year, Cubs to draw record numbers with their moves

Sherman: Trades could negatively impact TV ratings, says expert. Cubs could take back top spot

How are White Sox doing compared to Cubs? Because none of our White Sox stories would ever be complete without a mention of the Cubs

New study shows White Sox fans still obsessed with the Cubs


Ex-Cub Dawson belongs in the Hall of Fame
And why not, stupid people? He had five great seasons with the Cubs after 10 seasons with the Montreal Expos, with whom he is more closely identified, except by us. He was a strong, gifted athlete and his warm, giving nature made him an instant hero on the North Side

"I woo love woo Andre woo he's a woo great woo guy woo and woo symbolizes woo the woo Cubs woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo!" Ronnie "Woo-Woo" Wickers, Tradesman-for-Hire and World's Number One Cub Fan

Ex-White Sox star Albert Belle goes to prison
Albert Belle, who spent only two seasons on the South Side after 10 seasons with the Cleveland Indians, with whom he is more closely indentified, except by us was sentenced to prison today for stalking an ex-girlfriend. Belle was a sullen, surly creep and his belligerent ways and treatment of women made him an instant hero on the South Side

"I love Albert Belle! He's my hero! I look up to him! No one symbolizes the White Sox and their fans better than him and me!" William Ligue, convicted felon and World's Number One White Sox Fan

Paul Sullivan looks at the careers of two recent Chicago athletes.

Sammy Sosa: OK, stupid people, give me one reason why Sammy does not belong in the Hall of Fame? Got one? Yeah, didn't think so. Sammy was the most remarkable athlete Chicago has ever seen. So, you say he took steroids? So what? They weren't against the rules of baseball then, so there. You can't use that against him. He had a great personality, a terrific smile, bright, dreamy eyes and was truly one of the most selfless men I have ever known. Let's take a look back at all of the great moments Sammy provided for us over the years. Where can I even begin? I will campaign as hard as I can to get Sammy in.

Frank Thomas: Yeah, right. Are you kidding me? This guy was the biggest jerk in history. I can't believe you lowlife Sox fans actually think he is great. What did he ever do for your team? How many championships did he win? You say he never took steroids? How do you know? He's a bulked-up cheater if ever I saw one. All he ever did was complain. You think he belongs in the Hall of Fame? Well, that's why I have a great job talking to athletes and you don't. Ha ha. Let's take a look back at all the rotten things he did while on your team. I will campaign hard to make sure he never gets in.
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