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In honor of actor Andy Garcia and his (unintentionally) hilarious reaction to Sofia (Mary Corleone) Coppola's death scene in "The Godfather, Part III."
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headlines

Posted 12-04-2010 at 12:12 PM by TommyJohn
Updated 05-29-2011 at 10:46 AM by TommyJohn

There are now some headlines which mention William Ligue. No Sox fan needs to be reminded of Ligue or what he did on that infamous September, 2002 night. But the Trib seemed to delight in doing just that. Every time Ligue did something, the Trib website posted the news in sports. The joke was that he was their favorite White Sox fan.

This next series of headlines was inspired by visits to a website dedicated to the JFK assassination. The site supports the theory that Oswald did it, and one section talks about the bizarre "double Oswald" theories. The writer stated that many "Oswald" sightings were from attention-seekers, and others may have seen somebody who looked like Oswald and thought it was him. He posted a picture of former White Sox pitcher Ray Herbert, who played with them in the early 60's, as proof. Well, that just was too much to resist.

2/18/06:

Tribune Exclusive!
Lee Harvey Oswald a White Sox fan?



The Chicago Tribune has unearthed this rare photgraph, which has
been identified as being one of Lee Harvey Oswald, accused assassin
of President Kennedy, taken at Comiskey Park in the summer of
1963. As you can see, Oswald was wearing a White Sox hat and
jersey, proclaiming his allegiance to his favorite team. The Tribune
has also obtained an exclusive interview with John D. Lusional, an
employee at Cook County Psychiatric Ward (or an inmate, we never
verified which) who was at the game and clearly remembers
seeing Oswald.

"He talked about how his two favorite Cubans were Fidel Castro
and Minnie Minoso." says Lusional.

Page 2: Was Oswald at Game 1 of 1959 World Series? Two blurry
photographs prove conclusively that he was

_________________________________

Tribune Correction dept.

Yesterday the Tribune ran a picture, allegedly of Lee Harvey Oswald at a White Sox game.
It has been confirmed that the man in the picture is actually Ray Herbert, a White Sox
pitcher who looked like Oswald. The Tribune regrets the error. (not really.)


__________________________________

A message from Don (Why me?) Wycliff

Hello, stupid people. Once again you paranoid, insecure White Sox fans
are clogging my inbox with your crazy emails. Once again I have been
called down from my perch high above the rest of you to deal with you
people.

The issue was a picture published in the Trib purported to be one of
Lee Harvey Oswald at a White Sox game. It turned out to be a picture
of a former player, Ray Herbert. Now all of you are saying we did it on
purpose, to try and make it look like one of the most notorious figures
in American history was a White Sox fan. Sigh.

Look, people. For the 1 millionth time, we aren't biased against them
or you. We got a picture that was newsworthy, so we published it.
We had it verified by our crack team of researchers Tinker, Evers
and Chance. We found a guy who said he was at the game and heard
Oswald swear allegiance to Castro and Minoso. Is it our fault he turned
out to be a nut?

I know you all want to find some conspiracy here, but there is
none, OK? The Trib acted in good faith and got a story that we went
with because it was news. That is what newspapers are here for,
people, to print news. I know it turned out to be false, but hey. It's
not our fault you people were stupid enough to believe it.

_____________________________________

2/19/06:

Shani Davis wins gold
Davis wears Sox hat; befuddled foreigners ask "vat is 'ess-oh-ex?'"
Isaacson: Cubs hat would've been easily recognized

Morrissey: Further proof that this is not only a Cubs town, but a Cubs world

__________________________________

October, 2004

Sosa skips out on last game
we've got the video to prove it; no need to show it

Sosa to be traded, Hendry will work out deal for good of team

Sosa corked bat, used steroids, blew up head, is all-around jerk

Morrissey: Sammy is selfish, trade the jerk

Sullivan: Sammy's got to go! He cheated!

Downey: get rid of the steroid freak!

February, 2006

Sosa to retire, statue at Wrigley next?

Hall easy call. Our experts tell us why you're all idiots if you don't think Sosa belongs in Hall of Fame

Downey: You're kidding, right? You're actually asking if Sosa belongs?

Sullivan: Uh, excuse me stupid people. Steroids weren't against the rules, ya know! All those homers were legit. Thomas's weren't. Now he's a jerk and a scumbag

Morrissey: It's a Cub town now and forever! It's Sammy's town and he will always rule it! Yes! As many yes votes as I can have!

______________________________________
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