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In honor of actor Andy Garcia and his (unintentionally) hilarious reaction to Sofia (Mary Corleone) Coppola's death scene in "The Godfather, Part III."
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Memories of the "Tribune Headline" thread

Posted 12-04-2010 at 11:25 AM by TommyJohn
Updated 05-29-2011 at 11:48 AM by TommyJohn

This may seem unusual or seem like I am patting myself on the back, but believe me, I am not.

I fondly remember back in July 2005 when Dr. Crawdad started a thread called "You write tomorrow's Cubune headline." It was a response to Scott Podsednik defeating Derek Jeter in the fan's vote for the final All-Star representative. Craw asked WSIers how the Tribune would spin it. (Note: I HATE the word "Cubune" but I would be dishonest if I didn't use it, because that was the title of the thread).

His question didn't come in a vacuum. For years, the Sox fanbase felt that they and their team were put down on on constant basis by the Tribune, which was owned by the same entity that owned the Cubs. In 2005 it grew even more acute. The White Sox were in first place all season long, but you wouldn't know that from reading Trib sports stories that featured headlines such as "Somber Streak," or stories about famous choking teams such as the 1951 Brooklyn Dodgers or 2001 Seattle Mariners.

So the thread tapped into the White Sox fan zeitgeist in a huge way. After several headlines such as "Jeter Defeats Podsednik" the thread kept on going and took on a life of its own. Fans kept posting parody headlines of the Tribune, most of them ripping the Trib's attitudes towards the team and fans. Some of them were hilarious, some were lame. Some were frighteningly close to headlines that appeared in the real Trib days later.

The thread lasted for three years and just kept going. It was finally closed for good by the mods in May of 2008 after going through ten versions, each with about 500 posts.

I had always hoped that the best of them could be collected in a book and published as an "Onion" type of newspaper parody. That never happened, to my disappointment. Now, the joke is over. The Tribune Company no longer owns the team and idiots like Morrissey have moved to the Sun-Times, so the joke is dead. I don't even think the book I envisioned would sell now.

Without further adieu, I am going to copy and paste some headlines I wrote in the thread over the three years. Why am I doing it? Well, because it was my favorite thread, I wrote in it because it appealed to my sarcastic sense of humor (I am a huge fan of the Onion) and I just liked coming up with different headlines. I am posting them to my blog because it is easier to access them whenever I feel like reading them and revisiting them. I am sticking to my own because I don't know if others would want their headlines posted in my blog. So I am confining it to myself. I think some were funny (at least I hope so), others were lame, but all of them were posted in an attempt to inform and entertain.


[B][SIZE=6]Cubs almost beat Cards, now [/SIZE][/B]
[B][SIZE=6]trail by only 14[/SIZE][/B]

[B][SIZE=6]Page 2: 1951 New York Giants trailed by 13 on August 11, [/SIZE][/B][SIZE=6][B]then rallied to win NL pennant; can 2005 Cubs [/B][B]capture the same magic?[/B][/SIZE]

[B][SIZE=3]Page 7: White Sox win 8-4 squeaker, 11 up on Twins[/SIZE][/B]

[B][SIZE=6]The 1951 Brooklyn Dodgers led by 13 on August 11, then collapsed and blew pennant; will 2005 White Sox suffer same fate?[/SIZE][/B]


[B]Tribune Flashback! [/B]
[B]April, 2005[/B]

[B][SIZE=6]Sox sweep lowly Royals[/SIZE][/B]
[B][SIZE=4]Morrissey: [/SIZE][SIZE=3]How the hell can this team be a contender? They're beating the crappy Royals![/SIZE][/B]


[B][SIZE=6]Sox lose 2 of 3 to lowly Royals[/SIZE][/B]
[B][SIZE=4]Morrissey: [/SIZE][SIZE=3]How the hell can this team be a contender? They can't even beat the crappy Royals![/SIZE][/B]



[B][SIZE=6]Frank Thomas Hurt; career may be over[/SIZE][/B]
[B][SIZE=4]Slugger is last of original 1962 Mets[/SIZE][/B]

[B][SIZE=4]Morrissey: 1965 fight with Phillie teammate Dick Allen forever established Thomas as racist jerk[/SIZE][/B]






[B][SIZE=6]Podsednik socked by fan going for foul ball, now another tumbles onto screen[/SIZE][/B]

[SIZE=5]"We have no doubt they were White Sox fans, perhaps the same ones who killed the sacred Wrigley ivy back in '02" says Yankee Stadium Chief of Security[/SIZE]




[B]One Month ago:[/B]

[B][SIZE=1]Sox win again, lead in Central growing[/SIZE][/B]


[B][SIZE=5](Who says we don't pay attention to the White Sox?)[/SIZE][/B]
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