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In honor of actor Andy Garcia and his (unintentionally) hilarious reaction to Sofia (Mary Corleone) Coppola's death scene in "The Godfather, Part III."
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Aftermath of the World Series

Posted 11-05-2009 at 08:34 AM by TommyJohn
Updated 05-29-2011 at 10:55 AM by TommyJohn

Some headlines and stuff we might see in the aftermath of the World Series:

Rick the Indignant Sportswriter here!!! How dare they vote a Designated Hitter the MVP of the Holy Fall Classic!! How could they? The DH is a blight upon humanity!! A Curse!! An abomination!! He is only three-fifths of a human being! He has no rights under God or our Constitution!! He......


Oh. It wasn't Frank Thomas?? COOL!! Hey, It's all good!!

And when are my poor Cubbies ever going to win?? *sob* The ratings are up slightly. Can you imagine how high they will be when my Cubbies finally win it??? Yay!!

Headline in the New York We are the World:

Yankees win 27th championship
Third AL team this decade to win Series; Angels, Red Sox are others

Matsui MVP; second Japanese-born player to win ring after Daisuke Matsusaka

ESPN.com Story:

Yankees buy title; Evil Empire wins out over Rebel Alliance Red Sox

Scrappy little band of Underdog Rebel Red Sox still only team to sweep Series in decade, doing it twice

World Series winners since 2000:

2000 New York Yankees
2001 Arizona Diamondbacks
2002 Anaheim Angels
2003 Florida Marlins
2004 Boston Red Sox
2006 St. Louis Cardinals
2007 Boston Red Sox
2008 Philadelphia Phillies
2009 New York Yankees



Correction: ESPN.com has heard from indignant, lowlife White Sox fans (all four of them *sneer*) who bitched and complained that we didn't mention their lowlife scum team sweeping the Cardinals in 2005, nor did we list them in the holy scroll of champions. *yeesh* Grow up, people. So we forgot that there was a year between 2004 and 2006, OK?? Or maybe we figured that since they fixed the World Series as recently as 90 years ago, they aren't worthy to mention in the same breath as our scrappy underdog Red Sox, OK? Sue us already.


Correction II: We heard from those damn lowlife White Sox fans again. This time they are pissed (when aren't they) because we identified the Cardinals as the team they "swept" in 2005. OK, we were wrong again. Can you blame us? We can't be bothered to look these things up. So to correct ourselves, the *pee-yew* White Sox "swept" the Pittsburgh Pirates in 2005. There! Happy?


Book seen in Borders: "The First Fall Classic: How the 1912 Series between the Boston Red Sox and New York Giants transformed the Classic into a true Wolrd Series" You heard us, flyover peasants. It wasn't a true "World Series" until Boston and New York arrived just in time to make it that way and save baseball from disappearing forever, and thus saving all American sports as a result.

By the way, that last one, the book at Borders, is absolutely true-there is such a book and it does tout the 1912 series as the one that "made" the World Series what it is today. So baseball wasn't baseball and the World Series wasn't a true "World Series" until Boston and New York made it that way.
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