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sox_fan_4life
04-23-2002, 04:15 PM
Off Base Power Rankings
1. Barry Bonds
Still will only talk to one reporter -- his pal, Jimmy Olsen

2. Tiger Woods
Currently leading U.S. Open by four strokes

3. Mariners
Edgar expected to recover full speed -- putting him back between Miss Jane Pittman and line at DMV

4. Cleveland
Finley, Tribe seek restraining order: No AL Central teams within 2 games

5. Twins
Next stadium sellout: Selig Demolition Night

6. Hugo Chavez
Venezuelan prez regains office; Gore thwarted again

7. Colin Powell
Next doomed assignment: Broker peace between YES and Cablevision

8. Brewers
Milwaukee hasn't performed this poorly since Potsie's unfortunate music career

9. Curt Mueller
Bad: Paid $10,000 for Gonzo's gum. Good: His wife will let him keep it after divorce

10. Tigers
But according to Arthur Andersen, they began the season 4-7