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View Full Version : The Moron column count '02: Flubs 7 Sox 2


cheeses_h_rice
04-01-2002, 12:39 PM
I give this column a "3" for both the Sox and Flubs, since he thinks both teams will be decent but not win anything. He actually sounds reasonable, and I can't gripe about his saying the Sox being 2 games behind the Twins, as I think the division will be extremely close.

5=Extremely positive
4=positive
3=equal parts positive and negative
2=negative
1=extremely negative

That makes the totals (columns/points/average points):

Flubs 7/26/3.71
Sox 2/7/3.5


http://www.suntimes.com/output/mariotti/cst-spt-jay01.html

Chicago fans gluttons for pain

April 1, 2002

BY JAY MARIOTTI STAFF REPORTER



We are, by necessity, a baseball town. If foot-ball is Chicago's pas-sion, baseball is the natural out-let for our deep, long-standing, Second City inferiority complex that must be reconfirmed with regular doses of failure. Through spring and summer, we watch, hope, shriek and debate on both sides of town.

By fall, we are cussing out the latest set of also-rans.

But what Chicago does better than most baseball towns is care. It somehow blocks out almost nine decades of terminal futility--177 collective seasons and counting without a world championship--and pulls itself together for another intense ride. Whether that is stubborn loyalty or sheer stupidity, I'm not sure. But starting today, you'll be back for more fun and aggravation, fully convinced this is The Year even if the Cubs have more questions than answers and the White Sox have to lobby for two outs an inning to retire the side.

''I don't know what it is about Chicago, but the fans never quit,'' said pitcher Kerry Wood, amazed at Cubdom's resilience. ''I can't wait for the day when they finally get what they want. It's going to be unbelievable. And it will happen. I know it.''

Any other crazy predictions, Miss Cleo?

In a perfect world, we would combine the best elements of the Cubs (Sammy Sosa and the starting rotation) with those of the Sox (1-through-7 batting order) and watch a World Series come to town. But in the imperfect world of Chicago baseball, we are left with two teams good enough to contend but too flawed to think about late October. I don't think the Sox are better than the Cubs, but they have a better chance to make the postseason in a very winnable division. Will it happen? When in doubt, obey history's trend.

Sox: 87-75, second place, two games behind the Minnesota Twins. Cubs: 88-74, third place, eight games behind the St. Louis Cardinals.

Given the history of woeful seasons around here, those numbers would constitute success. But isn't it about time we readjust our standards? This is Chicago, not Kansas City. We should anticipate playoff appearances routinely and not be so pleasantly surprised when they happen.

In Arizona, Cubs manager Don Baylor blew me away when he said, ''This organization hasn't had back-to-back winning seasons since the early '70s, and I think we'll be breaking that streak this year.'' Wow. Let's open the bubbly, throw a parade. The Cubs are spending these days, signing Moises Alou and acquiring Antonio (Six Finger) Alfonseca even as the Tribune Co. faces financial issues. Question is, are they spending wisely? The Sox are bugging me again, knowing they ranked fifth in big-league broadcast revenue last season yet refused to make a major offseason deal. When a team is this close to the playoffs, it should spend money, not hoard it because fans aren't coming to the ballmall.

For certain, these will be entertaining teams with no shortage of subplots. Will Sosa gun for 75 home runs, win another Most Valuable Player award and blow a loogie-filled kiss at his new archrival, Barry Bonds? Will Frank Thomas set aside his 2001 nightmare--the death of his father, a messy divorce, a season-ending injury, criticism from David Wells and other teammates questioning his heart--with an MVP rebound of his own? Or has he been passed on the food chain by Magglio Ordonez, who still wouldn't be recognized on Michigan Avenue in his Sox uniform but is about to sprout as one of the best players in the sport? Is Wood ready to dominate for an entire season or doomed to have another bout with arm trouble, always a possibility given the power and torque of his motion? And what's the over-under on the first temper explosion by Alfonseca, whose legend for controversy precedes him?

The front offices, too, are under close inspection. As Andy MacPhail helps Bud Selig in the labor trenches, Jim Hendry is settling in as the Cubs' prime decision-maker. His first mission is to make sure Mark Prior isn't promoted to the majors too late. How sad if Prior--a sure difference-maker in the franchise's future, near and far--is called up in May and denied the chance to make full impact this season. We also are wondering whether recent significant investments were good or bad ideas. Will Alou stay healthy? Will Fred McGriff succumb to old age? Is Todd Hundley one of the all-time Cubs busts? And what about the new-and-improved farm system? It's time for Corey Patterson to please stand up, not to mention the other kids we've heard so much about. MacPhail traded one prospect, third baseman Eric Hinske, in a humdrum deal. Guess who's starting at third base for the Toronto Blue Jays while the Cubs use Chris Stynes to fill in for perpetually injured Bill Mueller? Hinske, who now is considered a rising star.

As for the Sox, Kenny Williams will have to be more productive and less impulsive in his second season as general manager. Last season, he spent $19.1 million on Wells, Royce Clayton, Sandy Alomar Jr., Harold Baines and Antonio Osuna. The combined results last season: a .243 batting average and a 5.14 ERA in 105 innings, with four of the five spending time on the disabled list. In the process, Williams traded a number of pitching prospects who were overhyped by predecessor Ron Schue-ler. By now, we were supposed to see an Atlanta Braves-like rotation. Instead, the Sox have a bunch of reconstructed arms and iffy projects--save Mark Buehrle, who looks like the star in the group. When a dominant spring story line is the velocity of Jim Parque, whose arm has turned to butter, you have problems.

Still, the Sox will be in contention longer than the Cubs, if for no other reason than the Cleveland Indians have been downsized. Enter Williams. He needs to pull the trigger in July for pitching--and, this time, make it count. The bats are too potent not to support them with arms and better gloves.

Whatever happens, enjoy baseball while you have it. The labor clouds are about to burst again, if not during the season, then surely next winter. If you believe the owners, baseball suffered $232million in operating losses last season. If you believe Forbes, the owners are lying dogs. According to the trusted financial magazine, the sport actually had an operating profit of $75 million last season and 20 of the 30 teams were profitable. I'm beginning to think fans have stopped caring about labor, resigned to a hopeless cold war.

What people care about in Chicago is the game. For some reason, we always come back for more, brokenhearted but brave.

Nellie_Fox
04-01-2002, 12:43 PM
Originally posted by cheeses_h_rice
Sox: 87-75, second place, two games behind the Minnesota Twins. Cubs: 88-74, third place, eight games behind the St. Louis Cardinals.
Please note that he just had to pick the Cubs to have a better record.

FarWestChicago
04-01-2002, 12:46 PM
Originally posted by Nellie_Fox

Please note that he just had to pick the Cubs to have a better record. I would also like to know what's in the twinkies Jerry and the Moron have been eating. They are laced with something. No offense to ma-gaga, but the Twinkies don't exactly look like the Big Red Machine to me.

cheeses_h_rice
04-01-2002, 12:48 PM
Originally posted by Nellie_Fox

Please note that he just had to pick the Cubs to have a better record.

Good point.

Me? I predict Sox 90-72, 2-3 games ahead of the Twins, and Flubs 85-77, 8-10 games behind St. Louis.

PaleHoseGeorge
04-01-2002, 01:39 PM
Originally posted by cheeses_h_rice
Me? I predict Sox 90-72, 2-3 games ahead of the Twins, and Flubs 85-77, 8-10 games behind St. Louis.

Cheeses, you wild-eyed optimist you! Do you realize you've predicted back-to-back winning seasons for the Northsiders for the first time since the Nixon administration?

Do you think the Cubs will have a special patch added to their sleeves next September when they've accomplished the feat?
"2002 Cubs. Back-to-back over .500"

Let the party begin!!!!!

(I'm betting the revelers will be peeing in your lawn).

:)

cheeses_h_rice
04-01-2002, 01:52 PM
Originally posted by PaleHoseGeorge


Cheeses, you wild-eyed optimist you! Do you realize you've predicted back-to-back winning seasons for the Northsiders for the first time since the Nixon administration?

Do you think the Cubs will have a special patch added to their sleeves next September when they've accomplished the feat?
"2002 Cubs. Back-to-back over .500"

Let the party begin!!!!!

(I'm betting the revelers will be peeing in your lawn).

:)

Thankfully, I live almost equidistant from Comiskey AND Wrigley, but if anyone wants to dare tread on our dogsh*t-laden "lawn" in front of my apartment building, they're welcome to it.

I know I'm giving the Flubbies a lot of credit, versus their actual history of underachievement. Still, on paper the Baby Bears look decent; if they can avoid injuries to some of their unreplaceables (Sham-ME, McGriff, Lieber, Alou), they could have a decent year.

By the way, did you read the entire Tribune baseball preview today? It had the Cubbies' shining moment as being when Sham-ME hit 2 zingers in an otherwise meaningless game in 1998. I "L"d MFAO.

Jerry_Manuel
04-01-2002, 03:47 PM
Originally posted by FarWestChicago
I would also like to know what's in the twinkies Jerry and the Moron have been eating. They are laced with something. No offense to ma-gaga, but the Twinkies don't exactly look like the Big Red Machine to me.

Hey, the Twins are winning 3-1 in the bottom of the 3rd.

FarWestChicago
04-01-2002, 03:53 PM
Originally posted by Jerry_Manuel


Hey, the Twins are winning 3-1 in the bottom of the 3rd. :troll

I hope you enjoy being on moderation.

cheeses_h_rice
04-01-2002, 03:57 PM
Originally posted by Jerry_Manuel


Hey, the Twins are winning 3-1 in the bottom of the 3rd.

Jerry, you really are crossing over to the Dark Side. Next thing you know, you'll be keeping track of Sham-ME's zingers.

FarWestChicago
04-01-2002, 03:59 PM
Originally posted by cheeses_h_rice


Jerry, you really are crossing over to the Dark Side. Next thing you know, you'll be keeping track of Sham-ME's zingers. Well, he'll try. :smile:

RedPinStripes
04-01-2002, 04:02 PM
Originally posted by FarWestChicago
:troll

I hope you enjoy being on moderation.

HA! I think Jerry needs counseling. I have faith in JM though. He'll jump on the band wagon before the all-star break.

Jerry_Manuel
04-01-2002, 04:06 PM
Originally posted by cheeses_h_rice
Jerry, you really are crossing over to the Dark Side. Next thing you know, you'll be keeping track of Sham-ME's zingers.

It's either watch Chimp and Otto, or the Twins. I'd rather watch the Twinks thank you very much.

4-3 KC still bottom 3, Radke getting hit around.

cheeses_h_rice
04-01-2002, 04:08 PM
Originally posted by Jerry_Manuel


It's either watch Chimp and Otto, or the Twins. I'd rather watch the Twinks thank you very much.

4-3 KC still bottom 3, Radke getting hit around.

Looks like you spoke too soon...

Damn, Flubs tied it @ 4 in the 8th.

Jerry_Manuel
04-01-2002, 04:08 PM
Originally posted by RedPinStripes
HA! I think Jerry needs counseling.

For sure! :D:

DVG
04-01-2002, 06:40 PM
"...put all sports columnists on Prozac." -Mike Royko

Tragg
04-01-2002, 09:54 PM
Still a bunch of the usual silly stuff - imagining this myth of a rivalry between bonds and sosa quickly comes to mind; 75 homers for sosa. putting those two on the same planet is just absurd.

At least he didn't call the sox scum - i guess we can wait for us to kick their lard ass again for him to do that.

CubKilla
04-01-2002, 11:18 PM
I like what 'cheeses' is doing with Moronotti's column count. I'm thinking someone should keep track of Nardi's mound appearances leading afterwards to runs scored by the opposition. I was listening on the radio today and think that Martinez hit a 2 RBI base hit after Nardi visited Glover on the mound. When I heard Ed Farmer say Nardi is going to the mound, I rolled my eyes and shook my head. Does anything good EVER happen after Nardi visits the mound?

:firenardi

bjmarte
04-01-2002, 11:42 PM
Originally posted by CubsF'nBlow
Does anything good EVER happen after Nardi visits the mound?

:firenardi

Yes, he comes one step closer to getting fired.

RedPinStripes
04-02-2002, 03:36 AM
Originally posted by bjmarte


Yes, he comes one step closer to getting fired.

Not so sure about that. If 8 torn labrums don't get you fired, what will? He must have pictures of KW doing something wrong.

Von Joshua gets fired for a hitting slump while nardi destroys young pitchers , runs up medical bills and era's. It will be a happy day for sox fans if nardi ever gets fired.


:firenardi