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soxwon
06-09-2007, 09:18 PM
Ill start keep adding.

As the 2011 version of the sox start out with a 38-19 record, its a far cry from ......

Viva Medias B's
06-09-2007, 09:24 PM
Ill start keep adding.

As the 2011 version of the sox start out with a 38-19 record, its a far cry from ......


...their 27-30 start one year ago from this time. This season's squad continues to win at the pace it had been setting since the second half of the 2010 season which propelled the Sox to their third World Series title in five seasons. With pitching ace...

soxwon
06-09-2007, 09:32 PM
As the 2011 version of the sox start out with a 38-19 record, its a far cry from ......
...their 27-30 start one year ago from this time. This season's squad continues to win at the pace it had been setting since the second half of the 2010 season which propelled the Sox to their third World Series title in five seasons. With pitching ace...

soxwon
06-09-2007, 09:33 PM
As the 2011 version of the sox start out with a 38-19 record, its a far cry from ......
...their 27-30 start one year ago from this time. This season's squad continues to win at the pace it had been setting since the second half of the 2010 season which propelled the Sox to their third World Series title in five seasons. With pitching ace...
Josh Beckett and All stars Lance Broadway, and A Guillen
Olney Guillen at ss....

UserNameBlank
06-10-2007, 07:49 AM
Josh Beckett and All stars Lance Broadway, and A Guillen
Olney Guillen at ss....
, who over the winter legally added an 'l' to his name in accordance with his religion, Santeria, hopes that recent sacrifices have improved his bat speed. While new hitting coach Timo Perez could not be reached for comment, it is widely believed that the former All-Star Triple A left fielder has stressed superstitious belief and encouraged various odd rituals during pre-game batting practice. Just last month following a walk-off grand slam that lifted the Sox over the defending champ Kansas City Royals, AL Silver Slugger Brian Anderson was seen in ths clubhouse nourishing himself with the brains of a live monkey.

Manager Ozzie Guillen on the other hand doesn't think his centerfielder's recent behavior has anything to do with his offensive succes. "He do that thing. He eat that monkey to make the gods happy. [In Venezuela] the gods don't like it when you hi-jack a schoolbus and drive it through a pet store window. So he eat the monkey because he don't want to be killed."

Meanwhile, Mark Buehrle had his own opinion of the story...

tick53
06-10-2007, 09:05 AM
, who over the winter legally added an 'l' to his name in accordance with his religion, Santeria, hopes that recent sacrifices have improved his bat speed. While new hitting coach Timo Perez could not be reached for comment, it is widely believed that the former All-Star Triple A left fielder has stressed superstitious belief and encouraged various odd rituals during pre-game batting practice. Just last month following a walk-off grand slam that lifted the Sox over the defending champ Kansas City Royals, AL Silver Slugger Brian Anderson was seen in ths clubhouse nourishing himself with the brains of a live monkey.

Manager Ozzie Guillen on the other hand doesn't think his centerfielder's recent behavior has anything to do with his offensive succes. "He do that thing. He eat that monkey to make the gods happy. [In Venezuela] the gods don't like it when you hi-jack a schoolbus and drive it through a pet store window. So he eat the monkey because he don't want to be killed."

Meanwhile, Mark Buehrle had his own opinion of the story...

"Brian will eat anything. One night back in '09 , Brian, A-Rod , Crede and I were out on the town in Vegas after beating the newly formed Las Vegas Gamblers 14-2. We decided to try a new restaurant called the Slippery Eel, a British pub that features the foods of England. I had a steak, medium well, Joe and Alex went for London broil and BA ordered a plate of raw eels and a huge helping of Shepherd's pie. Brian said he got the idea of eating strange foods after watching the HBO movie 61, when the boys got power from eating Roger Maris' green eggs. The next day at the ballpark during batting practice, outfield coach Lance Johnson remarked...

IndianWhiteSox
06-10-2007, 12:28 PM
"Brian will eat anything. One night back in '09 , Brian, A-Rod , Crede and I were out on the town in Vegas after beating the newly formed Las Vegas Gamblers 14-2. We decided to try a new restaurant called the Slippery Eel, a British pub that features the foods of England. I had a steak, medium well, Joe and Alex went for London broil and BA ordered a plate of raw eels and a huge helping of Shepherd's pie. Brian said he got the idea of eating strange foods after watching the HBO movie 61, when the boys got power from eating Roger Maris' green eggs. The next day at the ballpark during batting practice, outfield coach Lance Johnson remarked...

...."Man I remember when Raines, Ozzie, Joey, and I would eat some really crazy ****. Back in the '93 ALCS before game 3, we would eat frozen squid and drown in scotch just to get ourselves fired up before that game and it worked for me as I think I hit an HR in that game. If we just did that before game six maybe we would have already had our world series rings. Ozzie Guillen laughed and replied..............

tick53
06-10-2007, 06:53 PM
...."Man I remember when Raines, Ozzie, Joey, and I would eat some really crazy ****. Back in the '93 ALCS before game 3, we would eat frozen squid and drown in scotch just to get ourselves fired up before that game and it worked for me as I think I hit an HR in that game. If we just did that before game six maybe we would have already had our world series rings. Ozzie Guillen laughed and replied..............

"Stop you're making me sick. When I was a kid I could eat like that, but now my wife makes sure me and the boys eat healthy. Just the other night I was joking around with Bo Jackson about some of our road escapades and he said all he eats anymore are hees Power Bar candy things. He brought us three cases on his first day back with the Sox as our new fitness trainer. It's going to really help the guys with conditioning. Herm Schnieder added....

pagansoxfan
06-10-2007, 07:07 PM
we need to get some of these guys healthy again. magglio ordonez, who came back to end his career on the south side, was injured from a flying cd case. ordonez's injured retina was the result of an errant cd being flung by intoxicated fans during hip hop destruction night.
fans of the 22-48 cubs were overjoyed after the sox were forced to forefit the second game of thursday night's doubleheader, as sox fans stormed the feild. new cubs' owner bill wirtz was outraged. "we never get 38,000 fans anymore. i shoulda never moved the cubs to gary. the damn sox draw 38,000 just to throw hip hop cds?"

UserNameBlank
06-10-2007, 08:07 PM
we need to get some of these guys healthy again. magglio ordonez, who came back to end his career on the south side, was injured from a flying cd case. ordonez's injured retina was the result of an errant cd being flung by intoxicated fans during hip hop destruction night.
fans of the 22-48 cubs were overjoyed after the sox were forced to forefit the second game of thursday night's doubleheader, as sox fans stormed the feild. new cubs' owner bill wirtz was outraged. "we never get 38,000 fans anymore. i shoulda never moved the cubs to gary. the damn sox draw 38,000 just to throw hip hop cds?"
...Of course, Mr. Wirtz has been a bit testy ever since November of last year, when acclaimed genetic engineer Dr. Crazy created the first ever living pig with wings, thus finally providing a concrete answer to the question every life-long Indiana-sider needed to know: no, the Cubs will not win the World Series when pigs fly.

"I don't want to talk about that garbage," Wirtz grumbled when reminded of his team's futility. "It's embarrasing as it is, and then you [reporters] have to keep talking about it. The only thing anyone wants to write about is the White Sox. White Sox this, White Sox that, well you know what? I don't care anymore."

In related news, beloved Mayor Dayley spoke to an audience of hundreds at City Hall yesterday in regards to the future of the once-heralded roofless homeless shelter called Wrigley Field.

"Wrigley is history," the venerable leader said before pausing. "And so is the plague. Let's knock that sucker down!"

The declaration drew rounds of rabid applause. With a tear of joy in his eye, and his loving friends soaking in the beautiful moment, he annouced his plans for the destruction of the former home of the Cubs.

"We're going to...

Viva Medias B's
06-10-2007, 08:23 PM
...Of course, Mr. Wirtz has been a bit testy ever since November of last year, when acclaimed genetic engineer Dr. Crazy created the first ever living pig with wings, thus finally providing a concrete answer to the question every life-long Indiana-sider needed to know: no, the Cubs will not win the World Series when pigs fly.

"I don't want to talk about that garbage," Wirtz grumbled when reminded of his team's futility. "It's embarrasing as it is, and then you [reporters] have to keep talking about it. The only thing anyone wants to write about is the White Sox. White Sox this, White Sox that, well you know what? I don't care anymore."

In related news, beloved Mayor Dayley spoke to an audience of hundreds at City Hall yesterday in regards to the future of the once-heralded roofless homeless shelter called Wrigley Field.

"Wrigley is history," the venerable leader said before pausing. "And so is the plague. Let's knock that sucker down!"

The declaration drew rounds of rabid applause. With a tear of joy in his eye, and his loving friends soaking in the beautiful moment, he annouced his plans for the destruction of the former home of the Cubs.

"We're going to...

...convert Wrigley Field into an outdoor shopping center. The primary anchor of the shopping center will be a new Marshall Field's store. It will the first new store for them since Federated Department Stores brought back the Marshall Field's name, replacing the Macy's moniker that previously been used.

Mayor Daley continues to beam with pride over his White Sox. He particularly is impressed with second baseman...

JohnTucker0814
06-11-2007, 09:42 AM
...convert Wrigley Field into an outdoor shopping center. The primary anchor of the shopping center will be a new Marshall Field's store. It will the first new store for them since Federated Department Stores brought back the Marshall Field's name, replacing the Macy's moniker that previously been used.

Mayor Daley continues to beam with pride over his White Sox. He particularly is impressed with second baseman...

Roberto Alomar. How a 50 yr old guy could still hit a ball that far. Wow, it is amazing. "I still play the game because I still have passion for playing the game." Roberto Alomar stated after last nights win over the Milwaukee Brewers. "It's just a pleasure to be able to continue to play basebol with my brother in my 50's." Sandy stated that he is very impressed by his brothers ability to stay so young, but says...

RedHeadPaleHoser
06-11-2007, 09:49 AM
Roberto Alomar. How a 50 yr old guy could still hit a ball that far. Wow, it is amazing. "I still play the game because I still have passion for playing the game." Roberto Alomar stated after last nights win over the Milwaukee Brewers. "It's just a pleasure to be able to continue to play basebol with my brother in my 50's." Sandy stated that he is very impressed by his brothers ability to stay so young, but says...

"WHen he bought that hyperbaric chamber off Michael Jackson's estate sale, I told him he was nuts. But, I immediately saw results."

Sandy, meanwhile, continues to be impressed with Toby Hall. Hall, who has broke, cracked and or bruised every bone in his body, has earned the nickname of "Steve Austin" from his teammates for his bionic approach to the game. When asked if "bionics" would lock up as this decade's answer to grinder ball, Hall replied, "well, either grindionics or binders, work either way. When I was talking to our new conditioning coach, Darrin Erstad, Darrin commented...."

soxwon
06-12-2007, 06:59 PM
As the 2011 version of the sox start out with a 38-19 record, its a far cry from ......
...their 27-30 start one year ago from this time. This season's squad continues to win at the pace it had been setting since the second half of the 2010 season which propelled the Sox to their third World Series title in five seasons. With pitching ace...
Josh Beckett and All stars Lance Broadway, and A Guillen
Olney Guillen at ss....
who over the winter legally added an 'l' to his name in accordance with his religion, Santeria, hopes that recent sacrifices have improved his bat speed. While new hitting coach Timo Perez could not be reached for comment, it is widely believed that the former All-Star Triple A left fielder has stressed superstitious belief and encouraged various odd rituals during pre-game batting practice. Just last month following a walk-off grand slam that lifted the Sox over the defending champ Kansas City Royals, AL Silver Slugger Brian Anderson was seen in ths clubhouse nourishing himself with the brains of a live monkey.

Manager Ozzie Guillen on the other hand doesn't think his centerfielder's recent behavior has anything to do with his offensive succes. "He do that thing. He eat that monkey to make the gods happy. [In Venezuela] the gods don't like it when you hi-jack a schoolbus and drive it through a pet store window. So he eat the monkey because he don't want to be killed."

Meanwhile, Mark Buehrle had his own opinion of the story...

"Brian will eat anything. One night back in '09 , Brian, A-Rod , Crede and I were out on the town in Vegas after beating the newly formed Las Vegas Gamblers 14-2. We decided to try a new restaurant called the Slippery Eel, a British pub that features the foods of England. I had a steak, medium well, Joe and Alex went for London broil and BA ordered a plate of raw eels and a huge helping of Shepherd's pie. Brian said he got the idea of eating strange foods after watching the HBO movie 61, when the boys got power from eating Roger Maris' green eggs. The next day at the ballpark during batting practice, outfield coach Lance Johnson remarked...
...."Man I remember when Raines, Ozzie, Joey, and I would eat some really crazy ****. Back in the '93 ALCS before game 3, we would eat frozen squid and drown in scotch just to get ourselves fired up before that game and it worked for me as I think I hit an HR in that game. If we just did that before game six maybe we would have already had our world series rings. Ozzie Guillen laughed and replied..............
"Stop you're making me sick. When I was a kid I could eat like that, but now my wife makes sure me and the boys eat healthy. Just the other night I was joking around with Bo Jackson about some of our road escapades and he said all he eats anymore are hees Power Bar candy things. He brought us three cases on his first day back with the Sox as our new fitness trainer. It's going to really help the guys with conditioning. Herm Schnieder added....
we need to get some of these guys healthy again. magglio ordonez, who came back to end his career on the south side, was injured from a flying cd case. ordonez's injured retina was the result of an errant cd being flung by intoxicated fans during hip hop destruction night.
fans of the 22-48 cubs were overjoyed after the sox were forced to forefit the second game of thursday night's doubleheader, as sox fans stormed the feild. new cubs' owner bill wirtz was outraged. "we never get 38,000 fans anymore. i shoulda never moved the cubs to gary. the damn sox draw 38,000 just to throw hip hop cds?"
Of course, Mr. Wirtz has been a bit testy ever since November of last year, when acclaimed genetic engineer Dr. Crazy created the first ever living pig with wings, thus finally providing a concrete answer to the question every life-long Indiana-sider needed to know: no, the Cubs will not win the World Series when pigs fly.

"I don't want to talk about that garbage," Wirtz grumbled when reminded of his team's futility. "It's embarrasing as it is, and then you [reporters] have to keep talking about it. The only thing anyone wants to write about is the White Sox. White Sox this, White Sox that, well you know what? I don't care anymore."

In related news, beloved Mayor Dayley spoke to an audience of hundreds at City Hall yesterday in regards to the future of the once-heralded roofless homeless shelter called Wrigley Field.

"Wrigley is history," the venerable leader said before pausing. "And so is the plague. Let's knock that sucker down!"

The declaration drew rounds of rabid applause. With a tear of joy in his eye, and his loving friends soaking in the beautiful moment, he annouced his plans for the destruction of the former home of the Cubs.

"We're going to......convert Wrigley Field into an outdoor shopping center. The primary anchor of the shopping center will be a new Marshall Field's store. It will the first new store for them since Federated Department Stores brought back the Marshall Field's name, replacing the Macy's moniker that previously been used.

Mayor Daley continues to beam with pride over his White Sox. He particularly is impressed with second baseman...
Roberto Alomar. How a 50 yr old guy could still hit a ball that far. Wow, it is amazing. "I still play the game because I still have passion for playing the game." Roberto Alomar stated after last nights win over the Milwaukee Brewers. "It's just a pleasure to be able to continue to play basebol with my brother in my 50's." Sandy stated that he is very impressed by his brothers ability to stay so young, but says
"WHen he bought that hyperbaric chamber off Michael Jackson's estate sale, I told him he was nuts. But, I immediately saw results."

Sandy, meanwhile, continues to be impressed with Toby Hall. Hall, who has broke, cracked and or bruised every bone in his body, has earned the nickname of "Steve Austin" from his teammates for his bionic approach to the game. When asked if "bionics" would lock up as this decade's answer to grinder ball, Hall replied, "well, either grindionics or binders, work either way. When I was talking to our new conditioning coach, Darrin Erstad, Darrin commented...."

MRM
06-12-2007, 07:22 PM
As the 2011 version of the sox start out with a 38-19 record, its a far cry from ......
...their 27-30 start one year ago from this time. This season's squad continues to win at the pace it had been setting since the second half of the 2010 season which propelled the Sox to their third World Series title in five seasons. With pitching ace...
Josh Beckett and All stars Lance Broadway, and A Guillen
Olney Guillen at ss....
who over the winter legally added an 'l' to his name in accordance with his religion, Santeria, hopes that recent sacrifices have improved his bat speed. While new hitting coach Timo Perez could not be reached for comment, it is widely believed that the former All-Star Triple A left fielder has stressed superstitious belief and encouraged various odd rituals during pre-game batting practice. Just last month following a walk-off grand slam that lifted the Sox over the defending champ Kansas City Royals, AL Silver Slugger Brian Anderson was seen in ths clubhouse nourishing himself with the brains of a live monkey.

Manager Ozzie Guillen on the other hand doesn't think his centerfielder's recent behavior has anything to do with his offensive succes. "He do that thing. He eat that monkey to make the gods happy. [In Venezuela] the gods don't like it when you hi-jack a schoolbus and drive it through a pet store window. So he eat the monkey because he don't want to be killed."

Meanwhile, Mark Buehrle had his own opinion of the story...

"Brian will eat anything. One night back in '09 , Brian, A-Rod , Crede and I were out on the town in Vegas after beating the newly formed Las Vegas Gamblers 14-2. We decided to try a new restaurant called the Slippery Eel, a British pub that features the foods of England. I had a steak, medium well, Joe and Alex went for London broil and BA ordered a plate of raw eels and a huge helping of Shepherd's pie. Brian said he got the idea of eating strange foods after watching the HBO movie 61, when the boys got power from eating Roger Maris' green eggs. The next day at the ballpark during batting practice, outfield coach Lance Johnson remarked...
...."Man I remember when Raines, Ozzie, Joey, and I would eat some really crazy ****. Back in the '93 ALCS before game 3, we would eat frozen squid and drown in scotch just to get ourselves fired up before that game and it worked for me as I think I hit an HR in that game. If we just did that before game six maybe we would have already had our world series rings. Ozzie Guillen laughed and replied..............
"Stop you're making me sick. When I was a kid I could eat like that, but now my wife makes sure me and the boys eat healthy. Just the other night I was joking around with Bo Jackson about some of our road escapades and he said all he eats anymore are hees Power Bar candy things. He brought us three cases on his first day back with the Sox as our new fitness trainer. It's going to really help the guys with conditioning. Herm Schnieder added....
we need to get some of these guys healthy again. magglio ordonez, who came back to end his career on the south side, was injured from a flying cd case. ordonez's injured retina was the result of an errant cd being flung by intoxicated fans during hip hop destruction night.
fans of the 22-48 cubs were overjoyed after the sox were forced to forefit the second game of thursday night's doubleheader, as sox fans stormed the feild. new cubs' owner bill wirtz was outraged. "we never get 38,000 fans anymore. i shoulda never moved the cubs to gary. the damn sox draw 38,000 just to throw hip hop cds?"
Of course, Mr. Wirtz has been a bit testy ever since November of last year, when acclaimed genetic engineer Dr. Crazy created the first ever living pig with wings, thus finally providing a concrete answer to the question every life-long Indiana-sider needed to know: no, the Cubs will not win the World Series when pigs fly.

"I don't want to talk about that garbage," Wirtz grumbled when reminded of his team's futility. "It's embarrasing as it is, and then you [reporters] have to keep talking about it. The only thing anyone wants to write about is the White Sox. White Sox this, White Sox that, well you know what? I don't care anymore."

In related news, beloved Mayor Dayley spoke to an audience of hundreds at City Hall yesterday in regards to the future of the once-heralded roofless homeless shelter called Wrigley Field.

"Wrigley is history," the venerable leader said before pausing. "And so is the plague. Let's knock that sucker down!"

The declaration drew rounds of rabid applause. With a tear of joy in his eye, and his loving friends soaking in the beautiful moment, he annouced his plans for the destruction of the former home of the Cubs.

"We're going to......convert Wrigley Field into an outdoor shopping center. The primary anchor of the shopping center will be a new Marshall Field's store. It will the first new store for them since Federated Department Stores brought back the Marshall Field's name, replacing the Macy's moniker that previously been used.

Mayor Daley continues to beam with pride over his White Sox. He particularly is impressed with second baseman...
Roberto Alomar. How a 50 yr old guy could still hit a ball that far. Wow, it is amazing. "I still play the game because I still have passion for playing the game." Roberto Alomar stated after last nights win over the Milwaukee Brewers. "It's just a pleasure to be able to continue to play basebol with my brother in my 50's." Sandy stated that he is very impressed by his brothers ability to stay so young, but says
"WHen he bought that hyperbaric chamber off Michael Jackson's estate sale, I told him he was nuts. But, I immediately saw results."

Sandy, meanwhile, continues to be impressed with Toby Hall. Hall, who has broke, cracked and or bruised every bone in his body, has earned the nickname of "Steve Austin" from his teammates for his bionic approach to the game. When asked if "bionics" would lock up as this decade's answer to grinder ball, Hall replied, "well, either grindionics or binders, work either way. When I was talking to our new conditioning coach, Darrin Erstad, Darrin commented...."


..."back in the day we didn't use hyperbaric chambers, we relied on good old fashioned aspirin, if that didn't work a quick shot in the butt or some hand creme did the trick. Todays kids are spoiled, they don't have to resort to gimmicks to extend their careers. Oh, Roberto is older than I am? Are you sure he's not a client of "McSosaBonds better baseball thru chemistry"? New hitting coach Jason Giambi interjected...

UserNameBlank
06-12-2007, 08:43 PM
..."back in the day we didn't use hyperbaric chambers, we relied on good old fashioned aspirin, if that didn't work a quick shot in the butt or some hand creme did the trick. Todays kids are spoiled, they don't have to resort to gimmicks to extend their careers. Oh, Roberto is older than I am? Are you sure he's not a client of "McSosaBonds better baseball thru chemistry"? New hitting coach Jason Giambi interjected...
..."McSosaBonds BBTC Centers aren't fair to the other guys who come up the natural way. You know those guys that don't go to those centers, maybe because they don't have the money or they don't want to period."

When asked to comment further on the issue, Giambi turned the topic of discussion towards a new Batman movie coming out. We weren't able to steer Jason back toward the steroid issue, but we did get him to comment on his new appointment as White Sox co-hitting coach alongside Timo Perez.

"I try to tell these guys things, you know, things that help them. For instance, the other day I was telling Paulie [Konerko] that when the guy on the mound does that thing, you know, that thing that he always does where he leans forward and moves his arm around, that Paulie should do the thing he does where he makes that cracking sound and the fans stand up."

The former Yankee refused to be more specific, but senslessly continued on in true Giambi fashion.

"I look to help them any way I can. Sometimes in doing this thing the players do, it can be stressful. Not that I'm at liberty to talk about what can or can not be decribed as stressful, but some things just get to a player. Maybe that thing he's doing isn't getting done the right way, and the good things don't happen. Or maybe its more of a personal thing, like a thing where the woman thing you are - can I say married? Ok, married to, maybe she's doing that one thing behind your back or she's not really but you think she is and you don't know if she found out about that night with Jose Canseco in San Fran or not, but you think she did. So that is something that can possibly be stressful, although I'm not saying it one way or another, but that's what I'm here for."

Just as we were about ask Giambi what in the living zombie **** he was talking about, a shiny silver spacecraft descended upon The Cell like a Soldier Field renovation. After a few seconds of trying to figure out who put drugs in our coffee, the door to the saucer lowered to the ground. Of all people in the world who could possibly emerge from a UFO onto a professional baseball field, out stepped...

MRM
06-12-2007, 09:05 PM
..."McSosaBonds BBTC Centers aren't fair to the other guys who come up the natural way. You know those guys that don't go to those centers, maybe because they don't have the money or they don't want to period."

When asked to comment further on the issue, Giambi turned the topic of discussion towards a new Batman movie coming out. We weren't able to steer Jason back toward the steroid issue, but we did get him to comment on his new appointment as White Sox co-hitting coach alongside Timo Perez.

"I try to tell these guys things, you know, things that help them. For instance, the other day I was telling Paulie [Konerko] that when the guy on the mound does that thing, you know, that thing that he always does where he leans forward and moves his arm around, that Paulie should do the thing he does where he makes that cracking sound and the fans stand up."

The former Yankee refused to be more specific, but senslessly continued on in true Giambi fashion.

"I look to help them any way I can. Sometimes in doing this thing the players do, it can be stressful. Not that I'm at liberty to talk about what can or can not be decribed as stressful, but some things just get to a player. Maybe that thing he's doing isn't getting done the right way, and the good things don't happen. Or maybe its more of a personal thing, like a thing where the woman thing you are - can I say married? Ok, married to, maybe she's doing that one thing behind your back or she's not really but you think she is and you don't know if she found out about that night with Jose Canseco in San Fran or not, but you think she did. So that is something that can possibly be stressful, although I'm not saying it one way or another, but that's what I'm here for."

Just as we were about ask Giambi what in the living zombie **** he was talking about, a shiny silver spacecraft descended upon The Cell like a Soldier Field renovation. After a few seconds of trying to figure out who put drugs in our coffee, the door to the saucer lowered to the ground. Of all people in the world who could possibly emerge from a UFO onto a professional baseball field, out stepped...

...Kevin Costner who immediately exclaimed "I can save this team, I have pull with the script writers, put me in coach". Guillen was seen walking away muttering what is assumed to be obscenities in spanglish. Don Cooper gave Costner the once over and proclaimed "I can fix him". About this time Jerry Reinsdorf appeared, moving slowly with his walker and said...

soxwon
06-12-2007, 09:41 PM
...Kevin Costner who immediately exclaimed "I can save this team, I have pull with the script writers, put me in coach". Guillen was seen walking away muttering what is assumed to be obscenities in spanglish. Don Cooper gave Costner the once over and proclaimed "I can fix him". About this time Jerry Reinsdorf appeared, moving slowly with his walker and said...

Remember when Vince McMahon pulled that Fake Death stunt back in 07?
Well if i were to Fake my death, and we had a huge funeral for me.....

MRM
06-12-2007, 09:57 PM
Remember when Vince McMahon pulled that Fake Death stunt back in 07?
Well if i were to Fake my death, and we had a huge funeral for me.....

Paulie pipes up and responds "most people think you are already dead. Hell, I thought you died two years ago. It was in the Tribune so it must be true, right?"

Ozzie adds: "Boss, many people in this town hope you die 25 years ago. We don want no parade for tha reason".

Ron Kittle walks in mutter something about Barry Bonds hitting his 1000th HR under his breath, clears his throat, and says...

UserNameBlank
06-12-2007, 10:02 PM
Paulie pipes up and responds "most people think you are already dead. Hell, I thought you died two years ago. It was in the Tribune so it must be true, right?"

Ozzie adds: "Boss, many people in this town hope you die 25 years ago. We don want no parade for tha reason".

Ron Kittle walks in mutter something about Barry Bonds hitting his 1000th HR under his breath, clears his throat, and says...
..."We're running out of ideas here! Quick, someone think of something to talk about!"

Just then Da Reverand, who had followed a trail of empty Old English bottles into the funeral parlor, stepped to the front of the crowd and made another speech...

MRM
06-12-2007, 11:34 PM
..."We're running out of ideas here! Quick, someone think of something to talk about!"

Just then Da Reverand, who had followed a trail of empty Old English bottles into the funeral parlor, stepped to the front of the crowd and made another speech...

..."My fellow Americans", Jesse began, "with all due respect to other annointed folk such as Al Sharpton and Oprah, I'd like to present THE annointed one, Illinois' own, President of the United States, Barrak Obama."

"Thank you Jesse. I hearby decree that the Chicago White Sox shall from this year forward be awarded the world series championship every year. This will ensure a prosperous future for this city, state, and country"

An angry commisioner Selig is heard in the background: "Excuse me madam president, but you can't do that. The history of the game is sacred, to taint it is sacrilige."

As Selig was being escorted off in handcuffs Barrak hollered "tell it to Bush...er...Bonds" you hypocrite.

Just then the ghost of Joe Jackson appeared, instantly restoring order. He said...

DumpJerry
06-13-2007, 12:06 AM
.....the Sox ownership consortium which is headed by three guys known by their unusual monikers of "Whitesoxwilkes," "Daver" and "Dumpjerry" hold a press conference to announce that some guy named "CLR" will be the team liason with the Bears.....

MRM
06-13-2007, 12:20 AM
.....the Sox ownership consortium which is headed by three guys known by their unusual monikers of "Whitesoxwilkes," "Daver" and "Dumpjerry" hold a press conference to announce that some guy named "CLR" will be the team liason with the Bears.....

Huh?

soxwon
06-13-2007, 10:52 PM
.....the Sox ownership consortium which is headed by three guys known by their unusual monikers of "Whitesoxwilkes," "Daver" and "Dumpjerry" hold a press conference to announce that some guy named "CLR" will be the team liason with the Bears.....

And then after Da Reverand kicked Jessie Jackson, in the buttocks
screaming loudly " Mr Jacksona- You is not a sox a fan-a" So git Da Hell
out of my teams Press confrence-a"
And as Jesse left with his tail beetween his buttocks.
The crowd of thousands applauded Da Reverand......