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View Full Version : The ONION looks at Daisuke Matsuzaka


Fenway
03-01-2007, 03:41 PM
:tongue:
Excited Red Sox Fans Eagerly Await Debut Of Matsuzaka's 'Ultimate Galactic Dragon Gyroball Pitch Power Explosion' (http://www.theonion.com/content/node/59166)

"Daisuke is the pitching master!" said Boston Globe baseball columnist Bob Ryan, hopping from one foot to the other as he described videotape footage of Matsuzaka's otherworldly pitching power and control banishing a flock of evil, conniving, left-handed-batting carp-spirits to the netherworld during a 2003 Seibu Lions game. "His Ultimate Galactic Dragon Gyroball Pitch Power Explosion breaks three feet inside before cutting sharply toward the dugout, where falsehood and cowardice are forced to shrink before it!"

DarkHorse35
03-01-2007, 04:48 PM
I ahve a weird feeling he's gonna struggle his first year.

oeo
03-01-2007, 04:52 PM
I ahve a weird feeling he's gonna struggle his first year.

I think, if anything, he will be fine his first year and struggle after that.

Madscout
03-18-2007, 04:13 PM
Hi-larious

RealMenWearBlack
03-18-2007, 10:41 PM
I actually changed Matsuzaka's wiki page to say "According to Peter Gammons, Daisuke's power level is over 9000," and I cited the article, but my line was taken down in about a day.