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View Full Version : The Moron column count '02: Flubs 4, Sox 0


cheeses_h_rice
03-07-2002, 11:26 AM
The Sox still have the goose egg as far as Moronotti's columns this year...way to go, Jay!

I rank today's column about Sam-ME as positive. Even though Jay tries to support the "likable Sam-ME" proposition with USA Today figures, I think Fluffy believes so, too.

So I give the column a 4, based on the following scale...

5=Extremely positive
4=positive
3=equal parts positive and negative
2=negative
1=extremely negative

That makes the totals (columns/points/average points):

Flubs 4/16/4
Sox 0/0/0


http://www.suntimes.com/output/mariotti/cst-spt-jay071.html
Sammy isn't all sweetness

March 7, 2002

BY JAY MARIOTTI SUN-TIMES COLUMNIST


SCOTTSDALE, Ariz.--We always knew there was a mean streak in there, a cutthroat competitor beneath the love taps, hugs and blown kisses. All Sam-my Sosa needed was some disrespectful lout to kickstart his rage.

And what better provocateur, in the spirit of smiling-guy-vs.-surly-guy drama and the sizzle of home-run races this year and beyond, than Barry Bonds?

In a certifiably wacko media climate that gives us Tonya Harding fighting Paula Jones and Danny Partridge fighting Greg Brady, isn't it perfect Sosa would rip Bonds for calling out Sosa and launch a heated rivalry between baseball's top sluggers? The latest crossfire in this ''Celebrity Deathmatch'' pilot came Wed-nesday when Bonds, sitting by his corner locker in Scottsdale Stadium, took turns laughing and shaking his head while reading a copy of Sosa's stinging shots--which ranged from calling Bonds selfish to saying, ''Now I have to believe that all the negative things that have been said about him by his teammates are true.''

Your turn, Barry. ''It's funny, to be honest. It's childish, to be honest,'' Bonds said. ''The thing that's sad is, it's two minority athletes in the game of baseball.''

What race has to do with a volley of unrelated insults, I have no idea. But as usual, the many moods of Bonds spilled out during a three-minute retort. At first, he truly seemed surprised and hurt by Sosa's comments, knowing he has had some success in altering public perceptions about him after his record 73-homer season. Then he shifted into amusement mode, chuckling aloud in a crowded clubhouse and wondering what got into Sosa. Most of all, he was perplexed, stunned that a national controversy would emerge from their friendly outfield conversation before a game last week in Mesa.

''I'm the guy who always said Sammy should be MVP,'' said Bonds, referring to his lobbying for Sosa last season. ''I'm the one who's absolutely rooting for Sammy to do great things. Where did all this come from? I don't know what made him burst out. Sammy should understand how the media portrays things.

''I've got a lot of respect for Sammy Sosa. I love the guy from the bottom of my heart to the top of my heart. This outburst isn't going to change that. Maybe it will change things in his mind, but it's not going to change things in my mind.''

Whether they eventually make up or not--''Sure,'' Bonds said when asked if he'd like to talk to Sosa soon--the seeds have been planted for delicious battles ahead. It's clear now that Sosa is taking this record business very seriously, not only the idea of passing Bonds' single-season mark but ultimately outdueling him in the pursuit of Henry Aaron's all-time mark of 755. When Sosa said of Bonds, ''I don't have to worry about him ... He has to worry about me because I'm the one who has a chance to break his record,'' he laid down the challenge. Even if he and Bonds share a hug Monday, when the Cubs and San Francisco Giants meet again, the true feelings of both men have been exposed.

Besides, it doesn't sound like Sosa wants to break bread. ''Whatever [Bonds] says,'' he said Wednesday, ''he understands he made a big mistake. ... He's probably not going to do it again. But in case he says something again, [I'll] pay back.'' Whoa.

They seem to be playing an early head game with each other, like boxers before a colossal fight. Although Bonds doesn't understand the fuss, he should know he drew Sosa's ire when he suggested Sosa's version of their outfield chat--claiming Bonds urged him to break the single-season record--was a lie and that Sosa has a verbal diarrhea problem.

If he were a gentler soul, Bonds would have shrugged off Sosa's comments. But he's a sensitive, complex man who has been the polar opposite of Sosa--unaccommodating to the media and cold to the outside world. When Bonds' comments were relayed to Sosa by Sun-Times reporter Mike Kiley, Smilin' Sammy morphed into the Incredible Hulk. ''That doesn't surprise me coming from Barry. I always admired him as a player and a person, but now I have to say that I don't care about him or what he say,'' Sosa said.

All of which conjures mental pictures of the pre-2001 Bonds, an image he managed to improve during his record-smashing season. He impressed us with his thoughtful words after Sept. 11 and cool demeanor in the final weeks, when he suffered a personal tragedy while being pitched around by opponents. Sosa has injured Bonds in the public eye. When the most popular player in the game (according to a USA Today survey) torches a historically unpopular player, there's no way Bonds wins.

For the same reason, there's no chance of Bonds winning mass support in a power duel with Sosa. Having hit 243 homers the last four years, Sosa is viewed as the more consistent of the two sluggers and, factoring in his likability, certainly is the people's choice to have the record. This has to grate on Bonds, who might be remembered as the game's greatest all-around outfielder yet doesn't get a smidgen of the love Sosa receives.

Before this week, the American public had grown bored with home runs. Nothing like a rocking feud to renew interest, huh? ''Who will play you, Barry, in the Sammy movie?'' a reporter asked Bonds, referring to the proposed motion picture.

He just smirked and shrugged, knowing there never will be a Barry Bonds movie.

DVG
03-08-2002, 01:01 AM
Are you actually bothered by the fact that numbskull hasn't
written about the Sox? I'm glad he hasn't!! If he does, all he'll
do is pick up on his efforts to run both Frank Thomas and the
rest of the team out of town. If a baby is happy sucking on his
thumb, the last thing I'd want to do is pull it from his mouth.
Jay being able to breathe the same air as Sammy makes him
happier than a pig in slop. I say keep him there and good rid-
dance.

foulkesfan11
03-08-2002, 02:02 PM
Hey Cheese,

Just curious, why do you keep giving that idiot moron the time of day. Your posts about him are always so long. Doesn't it just make you angry while reading his crappy articles? Foulke him!

Iwritecode
03-08-2002, 02:36 PM
Originally posted by foulkesfan11
Hey Cheese,

Just curious, why do you keep giving that idiot moron the time of day. Your posts about him are always so long. Doesn't it just make you angry while reading his crappy articles? Foulke him!

I for one enjoy reading the Moron's column. It always puts a smile on my face seeing his "unbiased journalism" and knowing he doesn't have a clue what he is talking about.

Iwritecode
03-08-2002, 02:37 PM
Originally posted by DVG
Are you actually bothered by the fact that numbskull hasn't
written about the Sox? I'm glad he hasn't!! If he does, all he'll
do is pick up on his efforts to run both Frank Thomas and the
rest of the team out of town. If a baby is happy sucking on his
thumb, the last thing I'd want to do is pull it from his mouth.
Jay being able to breathe the same air as Sammy makes him
happier than a pig in slop. I say keep him there and good rid-
dance.

I don't really think that is his thumb that he is sucking on...

FarWestChicago
03-08-2002, 03:29 PM
Originally posted by foulkesfan11
Hey Cheese,

Just curious, why do you keep giving that idiot moron the time of day. Your posts about him are always so long. Doesn't it just make you angry while reading his crappy articles? Foulke him! I love the Cheeses Moron Rants. I seriously look forward to them. I get the true meaning of the Moron's latest trash without having to read it. Another great feature I hope will return when the season starts is King Xerxes doing his version of Hawk. Primo stuff! :D:

cheeses_h_rice
03-08-2002, 03:43 PM
Thanks, FWC.

Anyway, re: the Moron, it gives me great pleasure watching the man work his magic. Under the guise of "objective journalism," he essentially uses his Sun-Times soapbox to right personal wrongs against him, play favorites, jump on bandwagons, jump off bandwagons when things go bad so he can say "I told you so," and generally use the fact that his columns are never preserved for posterity (except here, of course!) to pull the wool over the eyes of unsuspecting readers time and again. By objectifying his coverage of the Sox and Cubs in 2002, I hope to expose one of the biggest frauds in the business; I expect the coverage to be something like 60-15 at the end of the season, even while the Sox have the better record.

It's all in good fun. I expect nothing but the worst from the man, and it's always a joy to see him not disappoint...

Anyway, I'm off to Tejas for a few days, so I'll update the count when I return...

:gulp:

FarWestChicago
03-08-2002, 03:50 PM
Originally posted by cheeses_h_rice
It's all in good fun. I expect nothing but the worst from the man, and it's always a joy to see him not disappoint...:fluffy

It's fun for you. Try living on that idiots head!

NUKE_CLEVELAND
03-08-2002, 04:07 PM
Why do you even bother keeping score with regards to Moronatti's columns? This guy won't even write about the Sox unless it's negative & he won't even do that till they have some minor losing streak in May or something. The man is totally irrelevant to me.

CerberusWG
03-08-2002, 04:10 PM
Jay:


C-R-Y

Sosa got burned HARD, and Bonds flat out OWNED him.

Shamme needs to shutup, and realize he's never going to win a ring.

Foulke You
03-08-2002, 04:43 PM
Keep right on scoring the Moron's columns. It's almost embarassing how the guy just can't remove his lips from Sammy's royal Dominican @$$! Besides, now that Skip Clueless is gone I think Jay will work overtime in 2002. I think that 60-15 prediction is too generous. I'm thinking more like 67-8 but we'll see! I'm also predicting a column that will top his infamous "Smut Sox" article and his "Holy Harry, they're going for it" article.

:moron
I got me a whole bunch of bad things saved on my Mac about the Sox. I'm waiting until the crosstown series to unveil them.

Chisox353014
03-08-2002, 05:16 PM
Originally posted by FarWestChicago
I love the Cheeses Moron Rants. I seriously look forward to them. I get the true meaning of the Moron's latest trash without having to read it. Another great feature I hope will return when the season starts is King Xerxes doing his version of Hawk. Primo stuff! :D:

Yeah, the Moron ranting cracks me up every time. Or maybe its just that ridiculous picture. Speaking of which, the Sporting News had the good sense to stop using the one below on its website. It looks like it was up for while, but isn't there anymore. I found it doing a Google search on images to see if there were any more "blue filter" gems out there.

RedPinStripes
03-08-2002, 06:36 PM
If he were a gentler soul, Bonds would have shrugged off Sosa's comments. But he's a sensitive, complex man who has been the polar opposite of Sosa--unaccommodating to the media and cold to the outside world.

*****!!!!!!!!! Too funny. How can this moron rip Bonds for this ? His pressious fantacy lover Shammy is the one who was clearly being the assho!e here. Wake up Jay!

:moron
"I dream of SamME"