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CubKilla
03-03-2002, 11:29 AM
I guess you can say the baseball season has started. Today, 03/03/02, is Maronotti's first Shammy Soso fluff piece. We already know Moronotti thinks Shammy is the "Second Coming," but one thing Jay said struck me as funny and makes me think that he may be lurking on WSI. To quote the fluffmeister:

"He enters the season as a leading ambassador for baseball, with his likability helping to fill the void left by the retirements of Cal Ripken Jr., Tony Gwynn, and Mark McGwire. In a USA Today survey that featured Sosa, Bonds, Derek Jeter, Curt Schilling, and Alex Rodriguez, Sosa received the most votes in response to this question: Which baseball players do you believe are the heroes of the game today? His popularity quotient never has been higher, often coated by Teflon."

"One reason: He knows how to control his audience, always saying the right things. Despite the hype about busting Bonds' record, Sosa is smart enough to emphasize a team first mind-set (HA HA HA, funny stuff). 'We have the chance to have a great team,' he said. 'To tell you the truth, it's not the home-run race I want to win as much as I want to win the playoffs.'"

Here's where I think Moronotti may be lurking:

"Yet that won't stop the Sammy Sosa Bashers of America from finding fault. Surely, the massive size of his arms will launch another round of whispers from a group that views him as a test-tube creation and general phony. To this day, Sosa says he never has used androstenedione (As McGwire did) or any other steroid on a regular basis, claiming he has tried nothing worse than 'one or two creatine shakes.' But as long as commissioner Bud Selig refuses to address the steroids issue or tries to implement testing in a collective-bargaining agreement, a cloud will hover over Sosa, Bonds and others." (BOO HOO Jay)

The article also quotes Moronotti as saying that Shammy will be the one to seriously challenge Bonds' HR record. Moronotti uses impressive numbers to back up this prediction but, ironically, never mentions the most important number to a baseball fan..... How many division championships, pennants, and WS appearances has Soso put up for the Cubs? Those are the numbers that should matter to Cub fans most. The answer is obvious to anyone on WSI..... ZERO! (Unless you count the "Wildcard Championship" as a Cub fan of mine once put it).

In other Shammy news, Soso blames the field for his injury and states that he could miss a week :whiner:

GASHWOUND
03-03-2002, 11:42 AM
Originally posted by CubsF'nBlow
I guess you can say the baseball season has started. Today, 03/03/02, is Maronotti's first Shammy Soso fluff piece. We already know Moronotti thinks Shammy is the "Second Coming," but one thing Jay said struck me as funny and makes me think that he may be lurking on WSI. To quote the fluffmeister:

"He enters the season as a leading ambassador for baseball, with his likability helping to fill the void left by the retirements of Cal Ripken Jr., Tony Gwynn, and Mark McGwire. In a USA Today survey that featured Sosa, Bonds, Derek Jeter, Curt Schilling, and Alex Rodriguez, Sosa received the most votes in response to this question: Which baseball players do you believe are the heroes of the game today? His popularity quotient never has been higher, often coated by Teflon."

"One reason: He knows how to control his audience, always saying the right things. Despite the hype about busting Bonds' record, Sosa is smart enough to emphasize a team first mind-set (HA HA HA, funny stuff). 'We have the chance to have a great team,' he said. 'To tell you the truth, it's not the home-run race I want to win as much as I want to win the playoffs.'"

Here's where I think Moronotti may be lurking:

"Yet that won't stop the Sammy Sosa Bashers of America from finding fault. Surely, the massive size of his arms will launch another round of whispers from a group that views him as a test-tube creation and general phony. To this day, Sosa says he never has used androstenedione (As McGwire did) or any other steroid on a regular basis, claiming he has tried nothing worse than 'one or two creatine shakes.' But as long as commissioner Bud Selig refuses to address the steroids issue or tries to implement testing in a collective-bargaining agreement, a cloud will hover over Sosa, Bonds and others." (BOO HOO Jay)

The article also quotes Moronotti as saying that Shammy will be the one to seriously challenge Bonds' HR record. Moronotti uses impressive numbers to back up this prediction but, ironically, never mentions the most important number to a baseball fan..... How many division championships, pennants, and WS appearances has Soso put up for the Cubs? Those are the numbers that should matter to Cub fans most. The answer is obvious to anyone on WSI..... ZERO! (Unless you count the "Wildcard Championship" as a Cub fan of mine once put it).

In other Shammy news, Soso blames the field for his injury and states that he could miss a week :whiner:

The only way we're gonna shut his trap is if the Sox win the division, we take the series from the Scubs, and the Scrubs choke this year. Which doesn't sound to far fetched.

But whatch ya gonna do.

baggio202
03-03-2002, 11:50 AM
i prefere fairiotti but moronotti is good too :) ....ill never forget being at wrigley just to the right of homeplate last year when jose valentin homered and mocked shammy...when he was blowing kisses to the crowd i swear he was looking right at me, cubsf'nblow and redpinstripes...and another guy with us named mike (all 4 of us have the same first name..lol)...that was my all time favorite sox moment..

thanks CFB for the tickets....never be able to pay ya back for that moment

Viva Magglio
03-03-2002, 01:50 PM
:moron
Proud member of the Sammy Sosa Ass Licking Society

voodoochile
03-03-2002, 01:57 PM
:moron
"I never lurk... That is fluffy's job while I am getting my beauty rest."

:fluffy
"Truth be told, Jay is too stupid to use a computer, so he makes me surf the web while he is sleeping. I'm not proud of my life as a hairpiece, sometimes lover and computer wiz, but it pays the bills. I just wish Jay would stop using rogaine, it gives me a rash."

34rancher
03-03-2002, 04:12 PM
Edited from that piece:

"The royal penis is clean your highness"

The editor cut it fearing that the article might then be too biased.

DVG
03-03-2002, 08:44 PM
:moron





Well, the Olympics are over, the Bulls stink (oh, Michael Miracle, where are you!?) the Bears turned out to be a big fluke (Brian Urlacher. Did I spend all season praising him? I take it back!!! He refused to talk to us after the Eagles game, the phony!!!!) so I thought I'd hop off the Black Hawks bandwagon for a moment to talk about my favorite demi-god: SAMMY!!!!!

Take a good look at him. Look at those arms ripping through
that shirt!!! Those arms could be telephone poles, scud missiles,
Apollo rockets, California Redwoods!!!! He could very well hit
200 home runs this year!!! Even Barry said so!! Heck, he might
break Hank Aaron's all-time record this year!!! And he's pop-
ular!!! A poll says he's the most popular guy in America!!!

Now I know the Sammy bashers are out there (YOU know who
YOU are) who will accuse him of being built by steroids, But I
say Nyah, nyah, you're jealous!!! Sammy SAYS he NEVER took
any of McGwire's andro!!! I believe him, too!!! Holy, sinless men
never lie!!! Oh, but that won't stop the Sammy bashers!!! They
will whisper this until Bud Selig is able to institute steroid test-
ing in baseball. So, if it's anybody's fault, it's Bud's!!!!

Age!!! Now, of course the Sammy bashers will set on that!!!
Of course!!! He looked 20 when the White Sox promoted him
to the bigs in 1989!!! And hey, Sox fans!!! Take a guess!!! Did
I throw that in there because a) I absolutely NEED to take a
gratuitous shot at the White Sox in EVERY Cub article I write,
or b) I'm too much of an uninformed knucklehead to know that
it was the Texas Rangers that first promoted Sammy!! Take a
guess, 'cause I'll never tell!!!

As for Sammy, he's belongs to the world!!!! He is the greatest
ambassador for peace and love the world has ever known!!!
And we've got him!!! So just enjoy this fine speciman of a demi-
god while we have him!!! Oh, Sammy!!! Our one and only
SAMMY!!!!!!

Lisa
03-03-2002, 08:49 PM
He compared Sosa to CAL and TONY?!?!?!?!

That's practically sacrilige. That's disgusting. There is NO WAY SOsa could EVER be put into the same class as those guys. Cal and Tony were classy, hardworking, team-oriented ballplayers. Sosa is a self-absorbed, wife-beating, whiny SOB. Only a Cubs fan could possibly consider Sammy a "leading ambassador for baseball" and refer to his "likeability". There is no way that idiot writer should be allowed within the boundaries of the Chicago metropolitan area.

GASHWOUND
03-03-2002, 08:53 PM
Originally posted by DVG
Jay Screamalotti checking in!!!! Well, the Olympics are over, the
Bulls stink (oh, Michael Miracle, where are you!?) the Bears turned
out to be a big fluke (Brian Urlacher. Did I spend all season
praising him? I take it back!!! He refused to talk to us after the
Eagles game, the phony!!!!) so I thought I'd hop off the Black
Hawks bandwagon for a moment to talk about my favorite demi-
god: SAMMY!!!!!

Take a good look at him. Look at those arms ripping through
that shirt!!! Those arms could be telephone poles, scud missiles,
Apollo rockets, California Redwoods!!!! He could very well hit
200 home runs this year!!! Even Barry said so!! Heck, he might
break Hank Aaron's all-time record this year!!! And he's pop-
ular!!! A poll says he's the most popular guy in America!!!

Now I know the Sammy bashers are out there (YOU know who
YOU are) who will accuse him of being built by steroids, But I
say Nyah, nyah, you're jealous!!! Sammy SAYS he NEVER took
any of McGwire's andro!!! I believe him, too!!! Holy, sinless men
never lie!!! Oh, but that won't stop the Sammy bashers!!! They
will whisper this until Bud Selig is able to institute steroid test-
ing in baseball. So, if it's anybody's fault, it's Bud's!!!!

Age!!! Now, of course the Sammy bashers will set on that!!!
Of course!!! He looked 20 when the White Sox promoted him
to the bigs in 1989!!! And hey, Sox fans!!! Take a guess!!! Did
I throw that in there because a) I absolutely NEED to take a
gratuitous shot at the White Sox in EVERY Cub article I write,
or b) I'm too much of an uninformed knucklehead to know that
it was the Texas Rangers that first promoted Sammy!! Take a
guess, 'cause I'll never tell!!!

As for Sammy, he's belongs to the world!!!! He is the greatest
ambassador for peace and love the world has ever known!!!
And we've got him!!! So just enjoy this fine speciman of a demi-
god while we have him!!! Oh, Sammy!!! Our one and only
SAMMY!!!!!!

LOL! Funny :cool:

GASHWOUND
03-03-2002, 08:59 PM
Originally posted by Lisa
He compared Sosa to CAL and TONY?!?!?!?!

That's practically sacrilige. That's disgusting. There is NO WAY SOsa could EVER be put into the same class as those guys. Cal and Tony were classy, hardworking, team-oriented ballplayers. Sosa is a self-absorbed, wife-beating, whiny SOB. Only a Cubs fan could possibly consider Sammy a "leading ambassador for baseball" and refer to his "likeability". There is no way that idiot writer should be allowed within the boundaries of the Chicago metropolitan area.

WHATS Even more amazing is that he has his own morning radio show to spew all this nonsense!!! Yikes! :o:

dougs78
03-03-2002, 09:27 PM
Sosa says he never has used androstenedione (As McGwire did) or any other steroid on a regular basis

Did you guys catch that "on a regular basis part? What is that really saying? That he has used a steroid, but not on a regular basis so its ok? Dear lord, whatever positive spin he was trying to put on this article, this is truly the only part of the article worth reading. I can see him regretting that qualifier because it actually comes awfully close to slander IMO.

Nellie_Fox
03-04-2002, 12:13 AM
Originally posted by dougs78
Did you guys catch that "on a regular basis" part? What is that really saying?
Yeah, you beat me to it. I guess it sorta "depends on what the meaning of is, is" don't it?

FarWestChicago
03-04-2002, 12:38 AM
Originally posted by Nellie_Fox

Yeah, you beat me to it. I guess it sorta "depends on what the meaning of is, is" don't it? The funny thing is you use steroids in cycles. I guess the fact Sham-ME's cycles include some down time makes it OK. Try telling that to a doping panel in any other sport. :smile:

RedPinStripes
03-04-2002, 12:51 AM
Originally posted by FarWestChicago
The funny thing is you use steroids in cycles. I guess the fact Sham-ME's cycles include some down time makes it OK. Try telling that to a doping panel in any other sport. :smile:

We need a dyna-ball tag for Sosa.

(That's a real popular steroid by the way.)

FarWestChicago
03-04-2002, 12:59 AM
Originally posted by RedPinStripes


We need a dyna-ball tag for Sosa.

(That's a real popular steroid by the way.) Yep, Nandrolone, Deca-Durabolin and Dynabolon are all the same thing. Sham-ME's "special vitamins".

RedPinStripes
03-04-2002, 01:05 AM
Originally posted by FarWestChicago
Yep, Nandrolone, Deca-Durabolin and Dynabolon are all the same thing. Sham-ME's "special vitamins".

You know the steroid freak lingo?



:shammy

"Anyone got any gear?"

FarWestChicago
03-04-2002, 01:07 AM
Originally posted by RedPinStripes


You know the steroid freak lingo? I'm a big Track & Field fan. I have been since the '68 Olympics. That means you know your 'roids to some extent. Somebody is always getting banned. :smile:

RedPinStripes
03-04-2002, 01:26 AM
Originally posted by FarWestChicago
Somebody is always getting banned. :smile:

:shammy
"Not me. America has been vedy vedy goot to me"

RedPinStripes
03-04-2002, 03:31 AM
Originally posted by FarWestChicago
I'm a big Track & Field fan. I have been since the '68 Olympics. That means you know your 'roids to some extent. Somebody is always getting banned. :smile:

Deca-Durabolin is probably what most of the track athletes use right? As far as I know, that's the one that cuts major body fat and doesn't add much size. Just good lean muscle and endurance. Seems like it would be the choice of track athletes.

PaleHoseGeorge
03-04-2002, 09:04 AM
Originally posted by Nellie_Fox
Yeah, you beat me to it. I guess it sorta "depends on what the meaning of is, is" don't it?

Nice catch by dougs78, Nellie, and FarWest. Samme is skirting the issue, and even Moronotti has more journalistic integrity than to change the true meaning of the quote. Of course being Moronotti, it doesn't prevent him from worshipping the guy's feet anyhow. What a putz!

MLB and the MLBPA have been trying to shovel under the rug the issue of performance-enhancing drugs. Somehow Mark McGwire became the poster child for potential abuse. If Samme thinks he should share the homerun title with Big Mac, he should also have earned as much notoriety for his unusual muscle mass, too.

:shammy
"I lose a giant bag of money and 'objective reporters' don't do a single follow up story."

rdivaldi
03-04-2002, 09:14 AM
:moron
You Smut Sox fans can't appreciate true greatness. I've also decided to begin persuing the affections of Kerry Wood. He's bold, fearless, and has grasped the pain of the Cubbie Nation. I get a tear in my eye every time he pitches.

Foulke You
03-04-2002, 03:55 PM
It's insane how much Sammy has bulked up since even a few years ago. I would say he has to be using some sort of chemical enhancement or he has the best personal trainer in America. I mean just looking at a picture of him in order from '92, '95, '98, and 2002 is comparable to Bruce Banner turning into the Hulk. Players usually don't suddenly become phenomenal .300 60+ HR hitters at age 30 as Sammy did. He was a career .270 hitter who averaged 30HRs 90RBIs. Then he suddenly finds this massive power that laid dormant for the first 10 years of his baseball career? Something is fishy.

:moron
How can you Scum Sox fans not just sit back and enjoy the awesome ride that is Sammy Sosa?

irish rover
03-04-2002, 06:58 PM
I remember when the Mark Mc stuff came out, shammy started to loose some weight.

I don't think the Cubs want him to stop taking roids, they think it acts like a preservative. So when he dies they can put him in a glass case and charge idiot cub fans(i know redundent) to see him

doublem23
03-04-2002, 08:31 PM
Originally posted by irish rover
I don't think the Cubs want him to stop taking roids, they think it acts like a preservative. So when he dies they can put him in a glass case and charge idiot cub fans(i know redundent) to see him

LOL! Unfortunately, I think there's a really good chance of that happening. Maybe they'll have some ivy grow on him to complete the deal.

NUCatsFan
03-05-2002, 10:42 AM
Shammy's gonna be on ESPN's Unscripted. According to the commercial, they're going to talk to one manager (? don't remember what his position is) who regrets letting So-so get away, but they didn't say who they were going to talk to. I certainly hope it's not Reinsdork.