PDA

View Full Version : White Sox sarcasm thread..


tony1972
09-22-2006, 10:37 AM
Okay-

Since we are obviously not going to the playoffs and this team is playing poorly..instead of everyone getting upset. Let's use this as an opportunity for a little humor to cheer us all up a bit..

My first sarcasm post - I think the White Sox did not make the playoffs because

(1) Our hitters simply did not hit into enough double plays..
(2) Ozzie did not rest our starting line up often enough
(3) Uribe should have batted THIRD..
(4) Anderson's batting average was just way too high..iour other hitters in the lineup felt inadequate to Anderson and made our other hitters like Konerko and Dye press at the plate and swing at bad pitches..:D: :o:

Scottiehaswheels
09-22-2006, 10:39 AM
I'm gonna bring a sign with me to Minny... I'm torn on what I should put on it...

Should I put....

WHY AM I HERE?

or

LET ME PLAY OZZIE, I'LL GIVE MY BEST EFFORT!

Chicken Dinner
09-22-2006, 10:42 AM
I'm gonna bring a sign with me to Minny... I'm torn on what I should put on it...

Should I put....

WHY AM I HERE?

or

LET ME PLAY OZZIE, I'LL GIVE MY BEST EFFORT!

Don't forget to wear your AJ jersey. :D:

0o0o0
09-22-2006, 10:42 AM
Obviously Pods did not strike out looking enough. Consider this: Everytime he strikes out looking, he is even more "due" his next at bat, thus increasing his chances of getting a hit. Wait for your pitch, silly.

LuvSox
09-22-2006, 10:44 AM
Ozzie didn't yell at enough pitchers in front of the tv cameras. That's how you motivate people!

Baby Fisk
09-22-2006, 10:45 AM
Remember all those threads that went like "The 2006 Sox = the 19XX Sox". Endless comparisons were being made to previous Sox teams. Here's the final conclusion:

The 2006 Sox = the 1901-1905 Sox, the 1907-1916 Sox, and the 1918-2004 Sox. They ultimately failed.


:ozzie
"But the good news is: A Mi Manera has been picked up by FOX and will be expanded into a full thirteen episodes! Next season, things get crazy when we get a new neighbour named Jay Mariotti. He can't keep his hands out of my garbage, and he better keeps his hands off my wife! Qué bastardo loco!"

Hangar18
09-22-2006, 10:50 AM
I'm gonna bring a sign with me to Minny... I'm torn on what I should put on it...

Should I put....

WHY AM I HERE?

or

LET ME PLAY OZZIE, I'LL GIVE MY BEST EFFORT!


THANKS ....For Nothing

tony1972
09-22-2006, 10:51 AM
Obviously Pods did not strike out looking enough. Consider this: Everytime he strikes out looking, he is even more "due" his next at bat, thus increasing his chances of getting a hit. Wait for your pitch, silly.
Oh that ! you see..Pods was giving the pitchers a false sense of "security" that would encourage them to give Iguchi more pitches to hit since they would be more likely to throw strikes right over the plate. He was selflessly sacrificing his at bat for Tadahito !

Hangar18
09-22-2006, 10:51 AM
:ozzie
"But the good news is: A Mi Manera has been picked up by FOX and will be expanded into a full thirteen episodes! Next season, things get crazy when we get a new neighbour named Jay Mariotti. He can't keep his hands out of my garbage, and he better keeps his hands off my wife! Qué bastardo loco!"


Ok, now that is pretty clever man

batmanZoSo
09-22-2006, 10:51 AM
We simply had too many good hitters and not enough bad ones.

Scottiehaswheels
09-22-2006, 10:52 AM
THANKS ....For Nothing:gulp:

samram
09-22-2006, 10:53 AM
Way too many runs scored, folks. You can't win when you average 5 runs a game. The pitchers get a false sense of security.

Chicken Dinner
09-22-2006, 10:56 AM
That Thome for Arow and Thomas was the best deal of the season.

samram
09-22-2006, 10:57 AM
We simply had too many good hitters and not enough bad ones.

Yeah, if only they had subtracted 28 of Thome's homers and 40 of his RBI... well, now you're getting somewhere!

:rowand
And I'll run into walls for no reason too!

tony1972
09-22-2006, 10:59 AM
Also - Mackowiak didn't miss enough routine fly balls in center field (especially when Garcia was pitching) and Freddy didn't get upset enough when Mackowiak made one of his three "errors" per game..Freddy was too good at containing his anger and not showing it..also he was way too good at pitching around mistakes..never allowing that runner to score.

If Freddy had simply given up more home runs after a fielding error - he would have taught our fielders a "lesson" and they would have not made any more errors.

Tekijawa
09-22-2006, 10:59 AM
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/b/b8/Floridamarlins.gif/100px-Floridamarlins.gif (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Floridamarlins.gif)

This is the Marlins logo, does anyone else but me ever wonder what the team is really called and where they are actually from?

Baby Fisk
09-22-2006, 11:01 AM
Ozzie had big problems when both Brian Anderson and Rob Mackowiak told him they refused to run face first into the centerfield fence. Ozzie denounced them in the clubhouse as a couple of cancerous cancers, then he asked Ryan Sweeney to give it a shot. But when that pretty boy burst into tears and complained to Kenny Williams, this season was over. Time to overhaul the outfield. Again. :rolleyes:

The Immigrant
09-22-2006, 11:02 AM
:ozzie
"But the good news is: A Mi Manera has been picked up by FOX and will be expanded into a full thirteen episodes! Next season, things get crazy when we get a new neighbour named Jay Mariotti. He can't keep his hands out of my garbage, and he better keeps his hands off my wife! Qué bastardo loco!"

:rolling: :rolling: :rolling:

Ahem, I don't think Ozzie is too worried about Mariotti getting his hands on Mrs. Guillen...

Chicken Dinner
09-22-2006, 11:05 AM
The Garcia pick-off move is getting better.

The September call-ups saved the season.

Baby Fisk
09-22-2006, 11:07 AM
McCarthy should have been in the starting rotation! You can't sign a prodigy like that, then imprison him in the bullpen gulag for two years. McCarthy sure got his revenge, though, serving up all those home run meatballs. MAYBE NEXT YEAR OZZIE WILL LEARN HOW TO HANDLE A ROTATION PROPERLY. :rolleyes:

Scottzilla
09-22-2006, 11:10 AM
there were not enough big games for Freddy to be motivated.

whitesoxwilkes
09-22-2006, 11:50 AM
We scored too many runs against St. Louis. Why didn't we SAVE SOME for later use?

dwalteroo
09-22-2006, 11:52 AM
I think the Harold Baines for Tim Raines 1st base coach move was the downfall of the Sox this year. Why? Because Baines just wasn't as good at telling Pods when it was the exact moment to run. Raines was much better yelling "Go!" at just the right time.

ajismyhero
09-22-2006, 11:53 AM
Cotts and McCarthy didn't give up enough runs, if they had given up more homeruns, maybe it would have motivated the Offense to play better.

viagracat
09-22-2006, 12:01 PM
If Thome had only been a jagbag and ripped into his teammates when they started playing bad and threatening his first ring, the rest of the players would've been pissed off enough to go out there and kick ass every game. I say release his sorry ass for not stepping up and doing so.

batmanZoSo
09-22-2006, 12:04 PM
We lost because of the Metra platform on 35th.

soxchick20
09-22-2006, 12:09 PM
:ozzie
"But the good news is: A Mi Manera has been picked up by FOX and will be expanded into a full thirteen episodes! Next season, things get crazy when we get a new neighbour named Jay Mariotti. He can't keep his hands out of my garbage, and he better keeps his hands off my wife! Qué bastardo loco!"

:rolling: :thumbsup: good stuff!!!

LuvSox
09-22-2006, 12:12 PM
"There was easily twice as many people watching this year" says relief pitcher Neal Cotts. "I mean, come on. Two or three chicks at once, I can deal with. But to have THAT MANY people watching, it was just too nerve racking. I couldn't perform adequately."

ShoelessJoeS
09-22-2006, 12:12 PM
Cotts is finally living up to his potential.

and....

Our bullpen didn't blow enough games down the stretch.

Fungo
09-22-2006, 12:19 PM
In his only season as pre & post game host, the White Sox won the World Series. What were we thinking letting Byran Dolgin go??

samram
09-22-2006, 12:22 PM
Ozzie's sensitivity training ruined the season. He would have felt bad winning again so he decided to back off.

BeefyD
09-22-2006, 12:36 PM
I'm gonna bring a sign with me to Minny... I'm torn on what I should put on it...

Should I put....

WHY AM I HERE?

or

LET ME PLAY OZZIE, I'LL GIVE MY BEST EFFORT!

How about "Morneau was right"

Chicken Dinner
09-22-2006, 12:38 PM
Singleton jinxed us.

the gooch
09-22-2006, 12:43 PM
I'm gonna bring a sign with me to Minny... I'm torn on what I should put on it...

How about:

Thanks White Sox,
i just received your season in the mail today.

LuvSox
09-22-2006, 12:46 PM
How about:

Thanks White Sox,
i just received your season in the mail today.

Not bad. :D:

Scottiehaswheels
09-22-2006, 12:49 PM
How about:

Thanks White Sox,
i just received your season in the mail today.
Awesome!

wdelaney72
09-22-2006, 12:49 PM
Somebody in Minny could post a sign that says,

"Have we hit our stride yet?"

MarySwiss
09-22-2006, 12:49 PM
Ozzie kept forgetting to handcuff Joey Cora's arms behind his back.

ajismyhero
09-22-2006, 12:56 PM
I'm gonna bring a sign with me to Minny... I'm torn on what I should put on it...

Should I put....

WHY AM I HERE?

or

LET ME PLAY OZZIE, I'LL GIVE MY BEST EFFORT!

What about just a big piece of teal posterboard with no words on it?

Scottiehaswheels
09-22-2006, 01:16 PM
What about just a big piece of teal posterboard with no words on it?
eh... I'll prolly be the ONLY Sox fan covered in beer in the lower level.. I'll be easy to spot to fellow WSI'ers..:(:

viagracat
09-22-2006, 01:30 PM
eh... I'll prolly be the ONLY Sox fan covered in beer in the lower level.. I'll be easy to spot to fellow WSI'ers..:(:

If you're below Section 555 tonight you will be...I'm there! :D:

Scottiehaswheels
09-22-2006, 01:31 PM
If you're below Section 555 tonight you will be...I'm there! :D:
LOL sorry I meant in Minny

NoShoesJoe
09-22-2006, 03:33 PM
MB didn't serve up enough 78 MPH meatballs that traveled 425 ft. If he had, he too, would have put some pressure on the offense to step it up and average 5.2 runs/game.

tebman
09-22-2006, 03:36 PM
Grinder Rule #1:

Win...or Don't.

tony1972
09-22-2006, 03:53 PM
(1) Lose (or die trying)

(2) Always swing at the first pitch or any pitch in the dirt

(3) Our starters 'step up' and pitch only in the BIG GAMES...

BeviBall!
09-22-2006, 03:55 PM
Wonderful.

Baby Fisk
09-22-2006, 03:56 PM
(4) There's no place like home... so ALWAYS make the turn at third.

zmz723
09-22-2006, 03:56 PM
:threadblows:

Didnt we have one of these already?

Palehose13
09-22-2006, 03:56 PM
(1) Lose (or die trying)

(2) Always swing at the first pitch or any pitch in the dirt

(3) Our starters 'step up' and pitch only in the BIG GAMES...

I'm starting to question your contributions to this site.

Baby Fisk
09-22-2006, 03:57 PM
The gallows humour isn't for everyone apparently.

Palehose13
09-22-2006, 03:58 PM
The gallows humour isn't for everyone apparently.

Yours at least was witty.

tony1972
09-22-2006, 04:01 PM
I'm starting to question your contributions to this site.
Yeah your right...this thread is actually redudant from the earlier one I started....(My bad)..

Palehose13
09-22-2006, 04:02 PM
Yeah your right...this thread is actually redudant from the earlier one I started....(My bad)..
:wink:

DrummerGeorgefan
09-22-2006, 04:23 PM
At least the Beltin one gets to go to some tropical resort a few weeks early to finally challange George Hamilton for the title of 'Orangest Human Being'

the gooch
09-22-2006, 04:45 PM
4 Knowing what's coming and hitting what's coming--not the same thing.
4 Knowing what's coming and hitting what's coming--we can't do either.

7 Grinder ball requires speed, defense, and discipline. And immigration.
We didn't bring in any new Japanese players.

20 Hot dog vendors don't take credit.
It's clearly all their fault.

26 Your hitting should serve as a warning. To low flying aircraft.
26 Your hitting should serve as a warning track shot to end the inning.

28 Always give fans something they can take away from the game. Like the other team's pride.
Or like a sick feeling in their stomach.

31 Never swing at foolish pitches. Unless they're foolishly belt high, right down the middle.
Mark doesn't see what's so foolish about those.

33 The best way to get out of a hole is to dig deeper.
the real reason Mackowiak kept playing center.

39 Be a man. Play like a boy who is playing home run derby in his back yard.

41 Never underestimate the power of power.
Not guilty of that.

48 Be predictably unpredictable.
Ozzie did his job. (see #33)

49 There are no starting pitchers. Only finishing pitchers.
49 There are no starting pitchers. Only finished pitchers.

53 There are always willing players: Those willing to do whatever it takes to win. And those willing to watch them. And we did a lot of scoreboard watching.

65 Do not sit in the leftfield bleachers, home to Scott Podsednik.
Scott Podsednik doesn't even want to be in left.

68 World Champions has a nice ring to it.
Back-to-Back World Champions doesn't.

76 Pitch. Hit. Win. Repeat.
Pitch. Hit. Watch them circle the bases. Repeat.

78 Ixnay on talkin' about the ayoffsplay. 'Nuff said.

89 Taste victory and be hungry forever.
Must not have read that one. We spoiled our dinner.

95 Be more than a one hit wonder.
Why not?

162 Crying in baseball is acceptable only if champagne burns your eyes.
Which is why Podsednik can't see the balls hit to the outfield anymore.

174 Hoist the city up on your shoulders. They'll return the favor.
Chicago is the fattest city in the World! You try playing good baseball with a lard-ass on your back.

ajismyhero
09-22-2006, 05:09 PM
4 Knowing what's coming and hitting what's coming--not the same thing.
4 Knowing what's coming and hitting what's coming--we can't do either.

7 Grinder ball requires speed, defense, and discipline. And immigration.
We didn't bring in any new Japanese players.

20 Hot dog vendors don't take credit.
It's clearly all their fault.

26 Your hitting should serve as a warning. To low flying aircraft.
26 Your hitting should serve as a warning track shot to end the inning.

28 Always give fans something they can take away from the game. Like the other team's pride.
Or like a sick feeling in their stomach.

31 Never swing at foolish pitches. Unless they're foolishly belt high, right down the middle.
Mark doesn't see what's so foolish about those.

33 The best way to get out of a hole is to dig deeper.
the real reason Mackowiak kept playing center.

39 Be a man. Play like a boy who is playing home run derby in his back yard.

41 Never underestimate the power of power.
Not guilty of that.

48 Be predictably unpredictable.
Ozzie did his job. (see #33)

49 There are no starting pitchers. Only finishing pitchers.
49 There are no starting pitchers. Only finished pitchers.

53 There are always willing players: Those willing to do whatever it takes to win. And those willing to watch them. And we did a lot of scoreboard watching.

65 Do not sit in the leftfield bleachers, home to Scott Podsednik.
Scott Podsednik doesn't even want to be in left.

68 World Champions has a nice ring to it.
Back-to-Back World Champions doesn't.

76 Pitch. Hit. Win. Repeat.
Pitch. Hit. Watch them circle the bases. Repeat.

78 Ixnay on talkin' about the ayoffsplay. 'Nuff said.

89 Taste victory and be hungry forever.
Must not have read that one. We spoiled our dinner.

95 Be more than a one hit wonder.
Why not?

162 Crying in baseball is acceptable only if champagne burns your eyes.
Which is why Podsednik can't see the balls hit to the outfield anymore.

174 Hoist the city up on your shoulders. They'll return the favor.
Chicago is the fattest city in the World! You try playing good baseball with a lard-ass on your back.

I know this shouldn't be funny - but I'm lmao. Somebody oughtta send these off to Brooks!

Baby Fisk
09-22-2006, 05:17 PM
I know this shouldn't be funny - but I'm lmao. Somebody oughtta send these off to Brooks!
Or the Two By Four corporation. Maybe they would create an alternate poster just for WSI.