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soxruleEP
06-13-2006, 07:49 AM
Cubs Bits by Fred Mitchell featured the announcement that "revolutionary technology" will be introduced to the Urinal today.

What could this "revolutionary technolgy" be, you might ask?

Why it's none other than a wireless phone! Yes, that the same cutting edge technolgy in the pocket of 90 percent of the American population and every Chad and Trixie in the Bud Swill Bleachers.

For the hilarity of the Cubbune trying to sell this as some amazing innovation, follow this link:

http://chicagosports.chicagotribune.com/sports/baseball/cubs/cs-060612cubsbits,1,4085374.story?coll=cs-home-headlines

SOXSINCE'70
06-13-2006, 08:03 AM
Since when is a cell phone new technology??:rolleyes: :rolleyes:

WhteSox725
06-13-2006, 08:09 AM
Since when is a cell phone new technology??:rolleyes: :rolleyes:

Well it was a really slow sports day yesterday, the Cubs were off. Looks like they decided to catch up on old news.

I can see why they would need cellular technology at the Urinal, I mean the dugouts are so far away from the bullpens. The cost of wiring landline phones is astronomical for that distance. They will save lots of money to put right back in to the team.

tebman
06-13-2006, 09:05 AM
Amazing! Stop the presses! Wake up the kids! This fellow Marconi is really on to something here, and we can use it at the ballpark!

Here's the real key:

The concept presents another revenue stream for the Cubs organization in terms of a rights fee, and it should become a lucrative branding opportunity for the sponsor. Managers at Wrigley Field will continue to have the option of using the land line phones if they choose. They were first installed in ballparks in the 1950s.

But here's my favorite part:

The two wireless phones will be sent to the Baseball Hall of Fame in Cooperstown, N.Y., after Tuesday night's Cubs-Astros game.

Please. The Hall of Fame finds a cordless phone such a breakthrough in the history of baseball that they want it in the museum?

Give me a break. No, make that two. :rolleyes:

Chip Z'nuff
06-13-2006, 09:57 AM
I wonder if U.S. Cellular is providing the service?

IlliniSox
06-13-2006, 10:18 AM
I wonder if U.S. Cellular is providing the service?

If they are, all the Sox fans at Wrigley 6/30-7/2 should start jamming the tower when Maddux and co. starts getting lit up. I'd pay for video of Dusty trying to get a signal, smacking it off the dugout railing.

roylestillman
06-13-2006, 10:29 AM
Crain's Chicago Business' website is agog with this space-age news also.

JorgeFabregas
06-13-2006, 10:41 AM
I think some of you should write text message transcripts for conversations between the coaches.

JorgeFabregas
06-13-2006, 10:57 AM
Here's my entry:
Baker: is air redy yet rdsma is gtting kild
Lopez: hes talking 2 beer guy
Baker: o rly? larry can u talk to rdsma do sumthin
Rothschild: nuthn I can do he sucks!!!one
Hendry: u r fired
Hendry: kdding

tebman
06-13-2006, 11:22 AM
Baker: sup?
Rothschild: chillin
Baker: ?? z is gettin killd
Baker: talk 2 him
Rothschild: no way! hes nutz
Baker: way
Baker: im not goin out ther
Rothschild: no way -- im still chillin
Baker: omg
Baker: z punched hp ump
Rothschild: hes done
Rothschild: u want lh or rh?
Hendry: ***?
Baker: brb

SOXPHILE
06-13-2006, 11:26 AM
John McDonough is on Mulligan & Hanley right now, extolling the virtues of this latest, cutting edge technology. He's also real excited about their attendance this year, saying they are on the verge of setting another record. (OOOOO ! When's the parade ?) He's also talking about Santo, and what a "treasure" he is.....:puking: I know the guy has a job to do to promote the club, but he sounds absolutely pathetic with the the stuff he's saying about how "wonderful" the whole Wrigley experience is.

Unregistered
06-13-2006, 11:42 AM
CZambrano: A/S/L Baby...
DustysBaked: Carlos?
CZambrano: who dis
DustysBaked: Carlos - it;s Dusty dude. U rly think you should be IMing btween innings? I mean, I don't want too B a dick, but your gettn spankd out their, dude
CZambrano: get off my ass coach. Its hard out hear 4 a pimp. LOL
DustysBaked: LMAO your corny, Z!
CZambrano: brb
CZambrano: wanna cyber? I got like 2 mins reel quick
DustysBaked: Uh - still me Dude
CZambrano: OMG LOL
DustysBaked: ;)

CubsfansareDRUNK
06-13-2006, 11:43 AM
DBaker31:Waddap Son
Roths2112: dun cal me son im notur son
DBaker31: mbad
Roths2112: dude we gettin pwnd
DBaker31: o rly?
Roths2112: ya rly!
DBaker31: No wai!!
Roths2112: big Z lokin' liek a n00b
DBaker31: he s a n00b
Roths2112: o rly?
DBaker31: ya rly!
Roths2112: No Wai!!!!
DBaker31: Aight son, peace
Roths2112: ZOMG don't go
DBaker31: fien but u no ima haXXor
Roths2112: fien ura haXXor
DBaker31: ROFLMAO
Roths2112: wut?
DBaker31: u jiz cald urselves a haXXor
Roths2112: i em a haXXor
DBaker31: no u isnt
Roths2112: bbl
DBaker31: l8r n00b
Roths2112: l8r nub
DBaker: HEY

RedHeadPaleHoser
06-13-2006, 11:46 AM
So the Cubs are getting Nextel. Whoop-dee-doo.

Give me Dusty's direct connect # - I'll make sure he gets "chirped" by a gaggle of Sox fans.

TheOldRoman
06-13-2006, 12:36 PM
This groundbreaking news had hit ABC 7. They had a big piece about it during their business segment.:rolleyes:

DumpJerry
06-13-2006, 01:04 PM
I'm glad they refer to the scoreboard as "archaic" in the story. Today while listening to the radio (it might have been The Score, can't recall), I heard a pretty funny bit about "why do the Cubs still use the manual scoreboard?" or something along those lines. Then it gave some pretty funny answers- the kind of stuff we would say here if there was a thread asking why do the Cubs still use a manual scoreboard ("there's people in there!" "It is always accurate!" are some examples).

The "bit" ended with a plug to experience "historic Wrigley Field." That is when I busted a lung laughing because it was a real commercial!!!! It sounded like the "Real Men of Genius" ads.

BTW, the visitor's land line should go to Cooperstown. That is the phone several reporters breathlessly reported that "Pete Rose is alleged to have placed bets from!"

cheeses_h_rice
06-13-2006, 01:13 PM
This reads like an article out of The Onion.

***?

:?:

Jaffar
06-13-2006, 01:14 PM
I'm glad they refer to the scoreboard as "archaic" in the story. Today while listening to the radio (it might have been The Score, can't recall), I heard a pretty funny bit about "why do the Cubs still use the manual scoreboard?" or something along those lines. Then it gave some pretty funny answers- the kind of stuff we would say here if there was a thread asking why do the Cubs still use a manual scoreboard ("there's people in there!" "It is always accurate!" are some examples).

The "bit" ended with a plug to experience "historic Wrigley Field." That is when I busted a lung laughing because it was a real commercial!!!! It sounded like the "Real Men of Genius" ads.

BTW, the visitor's land line should go to Cooperstown. That is the phone several reporters breathlessly reported that "Pete Rose is alleged to have placed bets from! "

They have several of these ads. There is one about why Cub fans stay until the end of the game. I find them amusing myself. It almost sounds like they are making fun of themselves, but they are totally serious. They resemble the sox ads last year with Red from that 70's show as the voice.

Mercy!
06-13-2006, 01:22 PM
Just had to say that this is a really entertaining thread. The "You Write the Text Messages" thing could be as killer a long-running gag as "You Write Tomorrow's Cubune Headlines."

InContention
06-13-2006, 01:22 PM
Wow! First lights and now this!

Maybe its just me, but defending a championship seems way more cutting edge...

voodoochile
06-13-2006, 01:25 PM
Wow! First lights and now this!

Maybe its just me, but defending a championship seems way more cutting edge...


Actually, in Chicago, it's about as retro as you get...:o:

miker
06-13-2006, 01:28 PM
Is this a Cub-session thread?

DumpJerry
06-13-2006, 02:09 PM
Just had to say that this is a really entertaining thread. The "You Write the Text Messages" thing could be as killer a long-running gag as "You Write Tomorrow's Cubune Headlines."
Well, a few years back we killed the fungus, I mean ivy, on the outfield wall.....

robiwho
06-13-2006, 02:31 PM
This reads like an article out of The Onion.

***?

:?:

Wait, you mean it's not?

TornLabrum
06-13-2006, 03:26 PM
They have several of these ads. There is one about why Cub fans stay until the end of the game. I find them amusing myself. It almost sounds like they are making fun of themselves, but they are totally serious. They resemble the sox ads last year with Red from that 70's show as the voice.

I had an email from Nancy Faust this morning that mentioned one of these ads, and I said the same thing: "The narration reminds me of the advertising campaign the Sox had last year."

Mark McGuire owes Brooks Boyer a debt of gratitude.

McCuddy
06-13-2006, 03:31 PM
I had an email from Nancy Faust this morning that mentioned one of these ads, and I said the same thing: "The narration reminds me of the advertising campaign the Sox had last year."

Mark McGuire owes Brooks Boyer a debt of gratitude.

Not to mention the fact that they use organ music throughout the things, obviously trying to cash in on the Nancy-does-day-games "flap."

TheDarkGundam
06-13-2006, 03:55 PM
Just had to say that this is a really entertaining thread. The "You Write the Text Messages" thing could be as killer a long-running gag as "You Write Tomorrow's Cubune Headlines."
http://www.progressiveboink.com/dugout/archive/dugout2-11-06.htm
http://www.progressiveboink.com/dugout/
It's kinda been done before, thought the ones you guys wrote are pretty funny.

JohnBasedowYoda
06-13-2006, 04:15 PM
So when they need to call up Gascan and the battery on the celly is dead, what then?

HotelWhiteSox
06-13-2006, 04:31 PM
Can't wait until the game where Dusty blames the loss on a dropped call.

cheeses_h_rice
06-13-2006, 04:37 PM
So when they need to call up Gascan and the battery on the celly is dead, what then?

Do like Ozzie does with Jenks, and do it visually:

http://www.geocities.com/fe_steve_al/Flamethrower.jpg

JohnBasedowYoda
06-13-2006, 04:51 PM
Do like Ozzie does with Jenks, and do it visually:

http://www.geocities.com/fe_steve_al/Flamethrower.jpg


Is that how Cheeses celebrates July 4th?

cheeses_h_rice
06-13-2006, 04:56 PM
Is that how Cheeses celebrates July 4th?

When I've had a few.

I'm a notorious boozehound, y'know.

JohnBasedowYoda
06-13-2006, 04:57 PM
When I've had a few.

I'm a notorious boozehound, y'know.

Ahh that's how you signal for the next round of Knob Creek.

itsnotrequired
06-13-2006, 06:32 PM
Sports Nite won't stop talking about this. Good Lord...

FedEx227
06-13-2006, 06:58 PM
Can't wait until the game where Dusty blames the loss on a dropped call.

Oh god... I didn't even think of it as being ANOTHER possible Cub excuse. I didn't think they could find anymore?

And this really that big of a deal, it's not like they have to go across the stadium to relay signs or speech. For gods sake the bullpen is what... 6-10 feet from the dugout.

JackParkman25
06-13-2006, 07:48 PM
Sounds like the Flubs need all the help they can get, this means Rusty Dusty doesnt have to get up and pick up the BP-phone anymore because he can just use his fancy motorola phone to call in (insert ****ty scrub reliever).

cws05champ
06-13-2006, 08:59 PM
Next Wrigley promotion: Come with a Nextel phone and you make the call the bullpen! :cool:

How long before the private ID gets leaked and everyone starts chirping messages to the BP...

Kogs35
06-13-2006, 09:25 PM
Next Wrigley promotion: Come with a Nextel phone and you make the call the bullpen! :cool:

How long before the private ID gets leaked and everyone starts chirping messages to the BP...

LOL order delivery pizza for the bullpen

vegyrex
06-14-2006, 12:46 AM
Using cellphones is revolutionary?

Did I miss something? :?:

Iwritecode
06-14-2006, 01:54 AM
Using cellphones is revolutionary?

Did I miss something? :?:

Well, they do still have a manual scoreboard and troughs in the men's bathrooms.

I heard they even got lights on the stadium a couple of years ago...

Steelrod
06-14-2006, 03:13 AM
Next step will be faxing Dusty's reasons for the loss!

bigfoot
06-14-2006, 04:40 AM
http://images.google.com/images?q=tbn:x73IBxIfKNg2fM:agcomwww.tamu.edu/images/market2.jpg (http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://agcomwww.tamu.edu/images/market2.jpg&imgrefurl=http://agcomwww.tamu.edu/market/market.html&h=184&w=184&sz=7&hl=en&start=2&tbnid=x73IBxIfKNg2fM:&tbnh=96&tbnw=96&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dtin%2Bcan%2Btelephone%26svnum%3D10%26 hl%3Den%26lr%3D%26safe%3Doff%26sa%3DG)

Sent to the HOF!? :rolleyes:

tstrike2000
06-14-2006, 05:16 AM
They need a cell phone to call the bullpen? :?: Is the Urinal so bad now that not only is the concrete falling apart there, but they can't replace the 50-foot phone cord running from the dugout to the bullpen?

soxstarter
06-14-2006, 07:28 AM
CZambrano: A/S/L Baby...
DustysBaked: Carlos?
CZambrano: who dis
DustysBaked: Carlos - it;s Dusty dude. U rly think you should be IMing btween innings? I mean, I don't want too B a dick, but your gettn spankd out their, dude
CZambrano: get off my ass coach. Its hard out hear 4 a pimp. LOL
DustysBaked: LMAO your corny, Z!
CZambrano: brb
CZambrano: wanna cyber? I got like 2 mins reel quick
DustysBaked: Uh - still me Dude
CZambrano: OMG LOL
DustysBaked: ;)

:roflmao:

HomeFish
06-14-2006, 09:21 AM
Great Headline in the Sun-Times:

Clueless Cubs Now Wireless as well (http://sun-times.com/output/quickhits/cst-spt-1hit14.html)

Layla
06-14-2006, 09:22 AM
Wow! First lights and now this!



There's no stopping progress.

Realist
06-14-2006, 09:54 AM
Those made up text messages have me in tears. Please keep 'em coming.

Holy crap that **** is funny!

voodoochile
06-14-2006, 10:00 AM
oooo... get a scanner. Find the signal, call for relief pitchers...:D:

Jerko
06-14-2006, 10:05 AM
I don't see these things lasting the season with the likes of Zambozo, MADdux and Barrett in the dugout. They'll be smashed to pieces by the end of June.

Gremlin3
06-14-2006, 06:08 PM
They probably shouldn't let Zambrano text. He might end up with another injury. He did get injured because he spent too much time on the computer. Texter's thumb is very dangerous.

whtsx1959
06-14-2006, 10:29 PM
For gods sake the bullpen is what... 6-10 feet from the dugout.
Thanks for bringing that point up. I find it more practical if the used 2 cups and a string.

Chisox353014
06-16-2006, 12:41 AM
I think every 100-year old apartment building in Chicago already has this amazing new technology: they're called "intercoms".