PDA

View Full Version : *Official* You write tomorrow's Cubune headline VII


Pages : [1] 2 3

CLR01
05-22-2006, 01:09 PM
Continued....


VI (http://www.whitesoxinteractive.com/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=68600)
V (http://www.whitesoxinteractive.com/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=65211&highlight=Headline)
IV (http://www.whitesoxinteractive.com/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=60696&highlight=Headline)
III (http://www.whitesoxinteractive.com/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=58305&highlight=Headline)
II (http://www.whitesoxinteractive.com/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=55603&highlight=Headline)
I (http://www.whitesoxinteractive.com/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=53594&highlight=Headline)

ChiSoxLifer
05-22-2006, 01:12 PM
CUBS WIN FINAL GAME IN our WORLD SERIES!

Dan Mega
05-22-2006, 01:37 PM
CLASSLESS SOX BOARD MODS CLOSE THREAD EARLY!
Sullivan: A look back at the 10 worst moments in WSI moderator history

Disclaimer: Meant as a joke, please don't ban me!:wink:

100 Year Itch
05-22-2006, 01:47 PM
Aces Wild!

As Chicago (AL) pounds sand, lick wounds over Saturday's on-field brawl, Juggernaut Cubbie offense gentlemanly dismantles Sox Ace Joe Contreras Sunday in blow out victory.

Box Scores Are Misleading: Cubs Win! Series, Says Analyst

Baseball Prospective guest analyst explains why sixteen of the seventeen runs scored by the Sox over the weekend series do not really count. Statisticians determine that Cubs just concluded a dominating three game road sweep of 2005's World Cheaters.

In fact, consensus among baseball statistical experts concludes that the Cubs are 35 and 8, leading their division with the best record in baseball while Chicago (AL) is really 9 and 32, battling the AAAA Royals for the division cellar.

Pennant Fever Hits Northside

Adjusted Cubs record places team ahead of St. Louis and a lock for the Central Division title. Lovable Cubbie players urge fans to come to the park to cheer on 2006's inevitable World Champion Cubs.

White Sox- Innocuous Name or Racially Charged?

Sociology and Psychology experts all agree: Cubs conjures images of sunshine and joy while White Sox leads to racial tension and stress over undone laundry.

SweetnesSox
05-22-2006, 02:13 PM
Sox Stealing Money From Fans!
Investigation during sox/cubs series shows Sox have been ending home games early; not batting in bottom of the ninth.
-"Has happened a lot this season" -Sox fan
-"The Cubs give me my money's worth" -Cub fan
-Buehrle, egged on my the front office, ends many games within 2 hours: "Every time I shake off AJ, he tackles me in the locker room"
-"This is all part of my master plan" -GM Williams
-Sox' Guillen chose to forfeit ST game rather than going into extra innings: "I got places to be, man."
-"After that fight with Anderson, I went to the locker room and realized my wallet was missing"- John Mabry
Special 16-page fold out section coming sunday.

maurice
05-22-2006, 02:58 PM
Cubs Win 1 game Against Former Champs In Crosstown Series, lose other 2 games

Hitmen77
05-22-2006, 04:31 PM
What, No Ligue & Son Running Onto the Field to Attack Barrett? Now there's something new. There's a certain Wrigleyfication going on at the Cell.


oops, that's a real article in today's Cub-Times.

http://www.suntimes.com/output/couch/cst-spt-greg22.html

SweetnesSox
05-22-2006, 06:38 PM
there's a cub-times? :?:

santo=dorf
05-22-2006, 07:47 PM
Hall of Famer Frank Thomas Takes Trashy Chicago Franchise Deep.
Sullivan: Top 10 non-Sox moments in Frank's career.
Yet another on field incident.
Squirrel delays game. Search for nuts up Garland's pant leg comes up empty by the feisty critter.

SOecks
05-22-2006, 08:40 PM
Yet another on field incident.
Squirrel delays game. Search for nuts up Garland's pant leg comes up empty by the feisty critter.

Classic!!! One of the best I've read.

Viva Medias B's
05-22-2006, 10:25 PM
Search for nuts up Garland's pant leg comes up empty by the feisty critter.

:roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao:

Cell Fan Control Problems Once Again Arise
Alleged Sox Fans Rocket J. Squirrel and C. Gull Disrupt Game, Outrun Dopey Grounds Crew & Sox Security
Ligue: I wish I had the speed of that little critter

Hitmen77
05-22-2006, 10:38 PM
there's a cub-times? :?:

I totally made up that term. No one here has ever used it before.

http://www.whitesoxinteractive.com/vbulletin/search.php?searchid=250498

fuzzy_patters
05-22-2006, 10:47 PM
We Told You He was Great: Thomas Homers Twice
White Sox Record Moves to .500 in Last Two Games

ode to veeck
05-22-2006, 11:01 PM
AJ Looking for Barrett as he heads home in the 10th
With a Cubs loss and another boring Sox win, we just had to make up some BS
Great heads up baserunning by AJ and Ozuna's bunt enable the Sox to back into a W

Impertinent Sox trash Thomas' return to the Cell
No respect for the man who carried the South Siders through their dark ages--Loyalty and honor have no place on the south side!

TheOldRoman
05-22-2006, 11:30 PM
Sox: Bossard picks Weed, bats Crack, big Hurt hits Two Shots after eating Poor boy sandwhich,Rob Mackowiak homers, Sox Steal win, Ozuna nearly ruled Not Safe.

vegyrex
05-22-2006, 11:38 PM
CRUELTY TO ANIMALS AT THE CELL
Thug Pierzynski Attacks Defensless Squirrel
Once we photoshop the pictures we'll show you the carnage.

ChetChat
05-22-2006, 11:40 PM
PETA Called to Action after Sox Race Squirrel for Fan Entertainment
"Cruel, just oh so cruel" says Ronnie Woo Woo
"Why can't they pick on some one there own size?" North Siders cry.
Oh, and they won again. 5-4 or something like that.

whitesoxwilkes
05-22-2006, 11:48 PM
THOMAS FAILS TO DELIVER IN CLUTCH
Strikes out looking with runners in scoring position

FedEx227
05-22-2006, 11:49 PM
Sox steal Cleveland's specialty
Pablo something steals game-winning bunt play from Cleveland Indians' catcher Jake Taylor*
*oh, it was a movie?

IlliniSox4Life
05-23-2006, 01:08 AM
Squirell Chased Underneath Blue Sheet.
Sox Win in a Really Unbelievably Lousy End.

soxinthecity
05-23-2006, 07:44 AM
Squirell Chased Underneath Blue Sheet.
Sox Win in a Really Unbelievably Lousy End.


Luckily we are Sox fans here so this type of message can't do any harm,
as it only works on the weak minded.:bandance:

soxinthecity
05-23-2006, 08:04 AM
White Sox fans act like true fans with respect at Big Franks return as animals (a squirrel and bird) get onto the field as Sox staff try to coral them and temporally delays game.http://www.chataquariums.com/forums/images/smilies/party%20(32).gifhttp://www.chataquariums.com/forums/images/smilies/party%20(8).gif

MrRoboto83
05-23-2006, 08:25 AM
Rodent problem at The Cell.

10 reasons The Cell is still a Hell Hole......"I had a cockroach in my popcorn and a Mole stole my blackberry".....Jay Marriotti

ode to veeck
05-23-2006, 08:39 AM
Rodent problem at The Cell.

10 reasons The Cell is still a Hell Hole......"I had a cockroach in my popcorn and a Mole stole my blackberry".....Jay Marriotti

LOL, that's why he's never been to the Sox Clubhouse! Also, the wind never blew him there. Back to the headlines ...

SOXPHILE
05-23-2006, 10:44 AM
Ramirez late inning homer powers Cubs in Florida

Sox commit suicide (or something)
*Due to Monday's game running long, the Tribune telegraph machine was unable to wire the results in time. Rumors of above mentioned tragedy may be due to teams lackluster play of late. The Chicago Tribune regrets the delay, and has dipatched a rider to find out how bad the loss was.

Uncle_Patrick
05-23-2006, 11:29 AM
INFESTATION!
Rodents invade Sox park; can the Plague be far behind?

HotelWhiteSox
05-23-2006, 01:39 PM
Southside Squirrel Delays Game, Attacks A's Fan (glove)

Wrigleyville Squirrel Saves 97 year old Cubs fan out of burning building

SoxFan19
05-23-2006, 02:07 PM
When Wood Comes Back
- Cubs look to get over .500 in the last three games With Kerry Wood Leading the Charge.
- Sox look to get below .500 in the last three games With James Baldwin on the mound vs. Frank Thomas

Mcgrath- "A sox loss will be demoralizing especially after they barely held on yesterday"

MrRoboto83
05-23-2006, 03:48 PM
The Sox will not win another World Series for 88 years, behold the Curse of the Squirrel. Why the curse of the Billy Goat is stronger. Page 2..The Cubs are more cursed and outdraw south side team. Page 3...Why it is so cool to be cursed. "Don't fall for the hoopla, the Sox are using this as a ploy to lure Cub fans to the Hell Hole"....Jay Mariotti

PicktoCLick72
05-24-2006, 01:06 AM
Wood Almost Un-hittable in Second Start: Cy Young becoming an Increasing Possibility
Dempster pitches Valiantly but blows game.

Thome, Konerko, and Dye only hit one Homerun each. Steroids must be wearing off.

Sox83Kid
05-24-2006, 09:57 AM
Ramirez late inning homer powers Cubs in Florida

Sox commit suicide (or something)
*Due to Monday's game running long, the Tribune telegraph machine was unable to wire the results in time. Rumors of above mentioned tragedy may be due to teams lackluster play of late. The Chicago Tribune regrets the delay, and has dipatched a rider to find out how bad the loss was.



:roflmao:

SOXPHILE
05-24-2006, 10:01 AM
Gone Fishin' !
Kerry Wood dominates through 5, Cubs winning 4-3

-At time of press, Dempster had retired 2 in the 9th, all but securing another Cub victory. Final out & boxscore not available.


Chicago Sky High !
WNBA team tips off season before crowd of dozens. Melissa Isaacson reports on all the day's/evening's activities,; City abuzz over latest, and what will be the greatest, sports team outside of the Cubs, to grace our presence.

Page 4- Sox win overshadowed by Wood performance, Chicago Sky debut

-Squirrel that ran on field Monday night tests positive for marijuana. Unamed Tribune source believes it was bought in area immediately surrounding "The Cell".

Uncle_Patrick
05-24-2006, 10:08 AM
Cubs almost Win!

Vazquez Gives Up Bomb To A's Chavez, almost blows lead.

Inside: More reasons why Michael Barrett was not really all that wrong.

whitesoxfan1986
05-24-2006, 10:12 AM
Squirrel delays game. Search for nuts up Garland's pant leg comes up empty by the feisty critter. :rolling: *****! that is very good

GoSox2K3
05-24-2006, 12:23 PM
Marlins Embarass White Sox
- Take 2 from Cubs. Proof that Sox are no better than worst team in NL.
- Dusty: Hey Dude, the Sox aren't any better than the Marlins.

Paul Sullivan: *
- Barrett deserves nothing but praise and to be Cubs new folk hero.
- AJ's act growing tiresome.

* this is a real Paul Sullivan article from today.:rolleyes:

http://chicagosports.chicagotribune.com/sports/baseball/cubs/cs-060523cubssullivan,1,5006358.story?coll=cs-cubs-headlines

voodoochile
05-24-2006, 12:34 PM
SOX FANS LOVE THE FLUBS!
A recent sampling of Sox fans indictate they will be wildly rooting for their crosstown rivals!
(In mid June when they play the Detroit Tigers)

FielderJones
05-24-2006, 01:19 PM
* this is a real Paul Sullivan article from today.:rolleyes:

http://chicagosports.chicagotribune.com/sports/baseball/cubs/cs-060523cubssullivan,1,5006358.story?coll=cs-cubs-headlines



Lame, however, I will give Sullivan his props for this:

Only four people were arrested at the Cell over the weekend, but it only takes one idiot at Wrigley to create another ugly incident, as evidenced by the ball-throwing bleacherite who nearly hit Jacque Jones in the head during a recent night game.

The Cubs did a masterful job of stonewalling reporters over that incident. No one except manager Dusty Baker was available to discuss it, even though a security official addressed the team the next day in a closed-door meeting.

Cubs security officials were ordered to keep quiet, and to this day no one knows why a fan was able to throw a baseball at a player and not be held accountable for her action. Baker's explanation that the fan was simply drunk and oblivious—unable to distinguish the difference between throwing back an opponent's home run ball and throwing a ball at a Cubs player—was particularly weak.

HotelWhiteSox
05-24-2006, 01:30 PM
-Squirrel that ran on field Monday night tests positive for marijuana. Unamed Tribune source believes it was bought in area immediately surrounding "The Cell".


:rolling:

voodoochile
05-24-2006, 02:07 PM
Water Cooler Get's Its Just Due!
Maddux defends his honor!
"I was just trying to get my wits together after that ex-Sox player dropped a bomb on my chin." Maddux continued, "Next thing I know the water cooler is coming toward me. I did what anyone would do under those circumstances and took it down."

Borchard's Water Cooler!
Unnamed sources confirm that Ex-Sox player Joe Borchard owned the water cooler in question.
Dusty Baker said, "I have no idea how the water cooler got into the dugout, but it wouldn't surprise me to learn it was a Sox plant. First Barrett now Maddux that team will stop at nothing to prevent us from reaching the playoffs and finally bringing a championship to Chicago."

maurice
05-24-2006, 02:30 PM
Did we mention that Barrett was right to punch AJ?
Also, Dempster is right and Guillen, Sox are scum
Sox need to stop talking about the past, but it's okay for us

maurice
05-24-2006, 02:52 PM
Maddux, Cubs give thorough beating to water cooler
Maddux surrenders 6 runs in 6 innings against minor leaguers
His ERA rises to 4.28 but at least that's better than Wood's 6.30 ERA
Rotation of Aces will fall into place when Prior returns
Sullivan: Andy MacPhail has instructed me to write that Maddux and Wood remain the NL Cy Young favorites

What's wrong with the Sox pitchers?
They're 2nd to last in the league in strikeouts
but 2nd in ERA, walks, and opponent's OBP

Anemic Sox offense sucks too
They're 10th in the league in doubles
but 2nd in all of baseball in runs scored

santo=dorf
05-24-2006, 04:47 PM
Sullivan: "Water cooler is the bad guy. It's all the water cooler's fault."
"The cooler must've said something."-Baker
"Don't show me up" warns Zambrano to the water cooler.

digdagdug23
05-24-2006, 04:53 PM
In another effort to shaft the good people of Chicago, Reinsdorf uses taxpayer funds to buy 2nd pick in NBA and victory over the A's.

LuvSox
05-24-2006, 04:54 PM
Sullivan: "Water cooler is the bad guy. It's all the water cooler's fault."
"The cooler must've said something."-Baker
"Don't show me up" warns Zambrano to the water cooler.

LMAO :D:

Hangar18
05-24-2006, 04:58 PM
5 incidents chart Water Cooler instigating trouble
Maddux beating cooler latest in series for antagonist receptacle

Water Cooler most hated in Baseball
According to phone poll of 30 cub fans in wrigleyville

"Theres Always a Cause"; Baker says Water Cooler provoked attack
Says replays show Water Cooler didnt rush to Avoid Maddux
Painfully obvious Water Cooler caused trouble

Its gonna bring us together-Pierre

Baby Fisk
05-24-2006, 05:00 PM
This water cooler stuff is Top Quality. Kudos to santo=dorf and Hangar. :rolling:

TommyJohn
05-24-2006, 06:59 PM
Maddux assaults water cooler

Sullivan: Maddux has spirit. The cooler had it coming
The water cooler stood there, staring directly at Maddux. It just
acted too cool and calm. Maddux was in a frenzy, having given
up six runs. Who could blame him? He has plenty of spirit. Many
an opponent used to complain about the calm, cool water cooler
standing there, taunting endlessly, acting as if nothing at all was
going on. The water cooler is easily one of the worst agitators in all
of baseball. How dare it try to simply stand there and dispense
refreshing water when the Cubs are in such a funk? The final straw
came when the cooler bubbled with glee. Maddux, filled with spirit,
could take no more. He acted, and I for one am glad he did. I am tired
of water coolers and their "why me?" act. I'm tired of them giving
out just water, and so are a lot of other people. How about some
Gatorade once in a while?

Layla
05-24-2006, 08:02 PM
WATER COOLER GATE

Sullivan investigates the history of the water cooler that provoked Maddux.
Maker of water cooler is "Pierzynski Co." Need we say more?

Hitmen77
05-24-2006, 08:11 PM
Maddux assaults water cooler

Sullivan: Maddux has spirit. The cooler had it coming
The water cooler stood there, staring directly at Maddux. It just
acted too cool and calm. Maddux was in a frenzy, having given
up six runs. Who could blame him? He has plenty of spirit. Many
an opponent used to complain about the calm, cool water cooler
standing there, taunting endlessly, acting as if nothing at all was
going on. The water cooler is easily one of the worst agitators in all
of baseball. How dare it try to simply stand there and dispense
refreshing water when the Cubs are in such a funk? The final straw
came when the cooler bubbled with glee. Maddux, filled with spirit,
could take no more. He acted, and I for one am glad he did. I am tired
of water coolers and their "why me?" act. I'm tired of them giving
out just water, and so are a lot of other people. How about some
Gatorade once in a while?

:kneeslap: :kneeslap: :kneeslap:

These water cooler headlines are pure gold!

WizardsofOzzie
05-24-2006, 10:12 PM
Thug Pierzynski poisons water cooler!!!

Helpless Cy Maddux drinks poisoned water, gives up 6 runs but then learns of the plot and saves the rest of the team from certain doom!!

Baker: "I think that today should be Cy Maddux day till the end of time for saving our players from the water cooler."

SweetnesSox
05-24-2006, 10:15 PM
"I think the water cooler's reputation preceded it."
-anonymous Cubs announcer

PaleHoseGeorge
05-24-2006, 10:18 PM
Sullivan: "Water cooler is the bad guy. It's all the water cooler's fault."
"The cooler must've said something."-Baker
"Don't show me up" warns Zambrano to the water cooler.

Well done! A McGrath Trophy for you!!!

:cubune

Tragg
05-24-2006, 10:39 PM
Sox Management Inept Ex Sox Borchard homers off of Hall of Fame pitcher, delivering major indictment of Sox scouting

Hendry: "How did they just give this guy away?" ...p2

Sullivan: Olivo's 3/4 day delivers message to Kenny Williams...p3

Greenstein: Maddux can't win for losing...5th inning double saps all energy...p4

Joe Sheehan...Special to Tribune...."As Whip Sox 8-6, in the third order scoring"...p5

Chisox003
05-24-2006, 11:01 PM
"We didn't say anything" claim water coolers
-Are slow pouring coolers to blame for Cubs woes?
-"Screwed" - Cubs ace Carlos Zambrano has choice words for surviving water coolers

IlliniSox4Life
05-24-2006, 11:02 PM
Cooler Bad Parent!

New photographic evidence shows cooler passed out drunk by pool
while little water bottles play near the deep end:

https://netfiles.uiuc.edu/kshanks2/cooler.jpg

thomas35forever
05-24-2006, 11:06 PM
Cooler Bad Parent!

New photographic evidence shows cooler passed out drunk by pool
while little water bottles play near the deep end:

https://netfiles.uiuc.edu/kshanks2/cooler.jpg
:rolling:

itsnotrequired
05-24-2006, 11:08 PM
Cooler Bad Parent!

New photographic evidence shows cooler passed out drunk by pool
while little water bottles play near the deep end:

https://netfiles.uiuc.edu/kshanks2/cooler.jpg

Now that's funny.:D:

cheeses_h_rice
05-24-2006, 11:23 PM
MADDUX POUNDS OPPONENT
Cubs Take Opener Against Florida Water Coolers, 1-0
Sullivan: Cooler's History of Antagonistic Liquid Deliveries, p. 2

HAREN LIMITS "CHAMPION" WHITE SOX TO JUST 3 RUNS

ode to veeck
05-24-2006, 11:58 PM
Sullivan: Water Cooler Should Have Let the Bat Boy Get its Helmut
"Somehow we know AJ deserves the blame for Maddux's Florida Tirade"

Dan Mega
05-24-2006, 11:58 PM
Cooler Bad Parent!

New photographic evidence shows cooler passed out drunk by pool
while little water bottles play near the deep end:

https://netfiles.uiuc.edu/kshanks2/cooler.jpg

Now THAT is funny! :D:

PaleHoseGeorge
05-25-2006, 08:13 AM
Sullivan: Water Cooler Should Have Let the Bat Boy Get its Helmut
"Somehow we know AJ deserves the blame for Maddux's Florida Tirade"
You know what is sick? This is very close to what Sullivan wrote today, comedic genius that he is.

The latest episode of the Cubs' theatre of the absurd featured an angry Greg Maddux attacking a water cooler with a bat Wednesday at Dolphin Stadium.

No truth to the rumor the water cooler claimed it was only going for its helmet.
It's still A.J.'s fault, presumably because he didn't let the bat boy get his helmet.

:kukoo:

I wonder what the next of kin to the beaten cooler have to say about Sully's point of view?

http://www.cripps-medical.com/photos/t_130672.jpg
"That team is out of control! They should all be in jail!"

Hitmen77
05-25-2006, 08:20 AM
You know what is sick? This is very close to what Sullivan wrote today, comedic genius that he is.


It's still A.J.'s fault, presumably because he didn't let the bat boy get his helmet.

:kukoo:

I wonder what the next of kin to the beaten cooler have to say about Sully's point of view?

http://www.cripps-medical.com/photos/t_130672.jpg
"That team is out of control! They should all be in jail!"

Now that the Trib is in its 5th day of AJ bashing, where's George Knue to argue that there is no pro-Cub bias at the Trib?

McCuddy
05-25-2006, 08:28 AM
SOMBER SWEEP
Games with Oakland lack rivalry, passion of 1990
"They can hold my jock now." - Dave Stewart



Now that the Trib is in its 5th day of AJ bashing, where's George Knue to argue that there is no pro-Cub bias at the Trib?

Just looked at the "photo gallery" from yesterday's game on chicagosports.com. No photo of the cooler being bashed, but there's one of the Florida fans being bashed - a shot of mostly empty seats.

White Sox Randy
05-25-2006, 09:38 AM
Cubs pound foes - water cooler,A.J., etc.
team's fortunes sure to change on homestand; playoff tickets in future ?

Sox A.J. most hated in America poll shows AJ most wanted for beaning - even though Sox players all voted for him as a joke we can still take this opportunity to make the Sox look bad, afterall it's not like they're our hometown team.

mark2olson
05-25-2006, 10:59 AM
Maddux:"D**nation, I said I wanted Dasani!"

eriqjaffe
05-25-2006, 11:37 AM
Unable to contain Marlins, Maddux destroys Marlins' natural habitat
Baker: "Take that, water!"

whitesoxwin
05-25-2006, 12:28 PM
Tribune Extra:
Hey Chicago Fans, "This paper is for you!!"
Nothing but Cubs, Cubs and more Cubs...
Wood, Prior, Lee and Dusty agree to contribute daily articles
Coverage on Bears, Bulls, Blackhawks and Fire will continue, along with other national sporting news of interest we believe is credible..."If it's in the Trib, it has to be true...Woo!" exclaimed an excited Chicago Fan decked out in a Cub uniform

By overwhelming demand: No further news on Chicago's Southside baseball team, as our news competator (biased by obvious payoffs) continually displays unfair trash articles on our beloved Cubs and, besides, the Southside team doesn't present a wholesome image for today's youth...
Subscriptions expected to soar as the Cub faithfull rush to the Tribune office...special lottery will be held Friday for wristbands to determine order of sign-up

soxinem1
05-25-2006, 12:35 PM
WHITE SOX WATER'HATE' SCANDAL!!
Sullivan- Selig to probe Sox longtime tradition of water-wasting

Dusty-'Greg only 'spilled' a cooler of water. The White Sox have been wasting water with their toxic, lead-piped OF shower for over 30 years!'

Guest Columnist Jay Moronotti- Maddux brings attention to long-ignored water-wasting Sox; Sierra Club to launch inquiry.

SOXPHILE
05-25-2006, 12:36 PM
Florida Fun
Maddux uses water cooler to cool off trainer in tropical heat, while Cubs frolic

-Cubs winning 3-1 at one point during game; due to humidity, final results were not in at time of printing


Late Dye error costs Sox

-Drop of routine fly ball allows run to score, inning to continue

-Everybody hates Sox & A.J. Trib pole shows

-Stagnant offense exposed; Did we mention that people hate A.J. ?

Hangar18
05-25-2006, 12:48 PM
Poll: AJ Instigated Brawl with Barrett
Murphys Bleachers patrons unanimous; Reputation started brawl, not Barrett

Hitmen77
05-25-2006, 01:45 PM
Editorial: White Sox Woes
Violence-prone Sox catcher symptomatic of hate-filled fan base.
"Is anyone really surprised that violence broke out in a game involving the White Sox? I really want to support this winning team. I really do. But their bitter, hate-filled, uneducated, white-trash fan base just makes it impossible to do so. Why is it that the mighty White Sox, with their world series rings, feel the need to goad poor Michael Barrett into a fight? Perhaps this is case of a team reflecting the attitude of its scum-of-the-earth fan base. It might not surprise you to hear that within minutes of Pierzynski's brawl, I got a phone call, e-mail, fax, and text message from Sox fans all saying "BURN DOWN WRIGLEY!". I think we, as a city are above the classless White Sox. I strongly encourage everyone to forget about the White Sox this summer and instead visit the most wonderful place on God's green earth - Wrigley Field. Go there to enjoy ivy, an outdated scoreboard, urinal troughs, Ronnie Woo Woo, and Ditka singing the 7th inning stretch. This is what baseball is all about. What the team does on the field really doesn't matter." - Andrew Buchanan

Sun-Times Editorial by Fr. Greeley
WWJD? Side With Michael Barrett.
"I have no doubt in my heart that Jesus would renounce Pierzynski's violent act and would commend Michael Barrett for standing up to aggression. Hey, I'm being nothing but a good Christian by reminding everyone that the Sox fan base is rotten to the core. Did I mention that I'm a priest? So, you can't question me on this."

miker
05-25-2006, 01:49 PM
Sullivan: Water Cooler Should Have Let the Bat Boy Get its Helmut
Who's Helmut...and when did he arrive from Germany? :?:

So.ILSoxFan
05-25-2006, 02:22 PM
Curse Of The Water Cooler!!!
Cooler to be purchased, blown up at cubbie restaurant


Southside Attendance Problem
no empty seats during recent homestand

1951Campbell
05-25-2006, 02:28 PM
Water Cooler "Run Out of Minnesota," Says Grobstein

Had It Coming

tstrike2000
05-25-2006, 02:58 PM
Dusty auditioning bystanders from street to help with offense and pitching.

Dusty says he's looking to only lose by 3 or 4 runs a game instead of the usual 7 or 8 runs per game.


South siders manage only 3 runs in sweeping Oakland to maintain their dismal standing of the second best record in baseball.

ChiSoxLifer
05-25-2006, 07:45 PM
Stiffness may force Wood to skip start





"He was a little stiff [Tuesday]," manager Dusty Baker said.




I don't know about you guys, but is it weird that this stands out just a little bit?
The real headlines are the best.
-Karl

getonbckthr
05-25-2006, 08:30 PM
Champs Can't Handle Pressure Need Off Day!!
Showing lack of spirit or care So-Called champs need off day.

Cubbies Reschedule Crucial Game, Charity Benefit Tonight!!
Cubs Catcher Michael Barrett on benefit, "i'm all about the kids. I teach them how to defend themselves and how to good role models.!"

Where Does The Madness END, Not Even American Idol Safe From Confrontational Sox Fans!!
"I couldn't care less, the only thing I watch on FOX is baseball and The Simpsons." "What is he like 50 years old!"

santo=dorf
05-25-2006, 08:35 PM
Water Cooler "Run Out of Minnesota," Says Grobstein

Had It Coming

*****!

SOXPHILE
05-26-2006, 10:37 AM
Suspensions handed down:
-Water cooler gets 20 days for conduct during confrontation with Cub great, Maddux; Pitcher avoids penalty, and rightly so

-Sox Anderson will sit for 5 games, Cora for 2 due to cheap shots & "general underhandedness" according to MLB disciplinarian

-Although he had it coming ("The Punch"), Sox badboy A.J. skates by with mere fine. Paul Sullivan weighs in on what more should have been done.

Hitmen77
05-26-2006, 10:45 AM
Pierzynski Fined for Instigating Brawl
- Anderson, Cora suspended for fighting dirty

Chicago's latest folk hero, Michael Barrett, to take 10 days off to do charity work.

Sullivan: 3 Sox suspended/fined is further proof that AJ started this fight. Did I mention that his act is growing tiresome?

Tribune Poll:
Who is the bigger villian in this brawl: Pierzynski or Anderson?

southside rocks
05-26-2006, 10:47 AM
Barrett Shows Spirit, Finally Gives A.J. A Well-Deserved Punch, But
Reinsdorf's Connections at MLB Result in Unfair Penalties for Cubs Catcher

Sox Owner Bitter Over Love Shown to Cubs by Fans, Arranges "Brawl" to Try and Win Fans to the Dark Side

"I Knew He Would Punch A.J. -- Who Wouldn't??" says Jerry.

McCuddy
05-26-2006, 11:10 AM
Pierzynski Fined for Instigating Brawl
- Anderson, Cora suspended for fighting dirty

Chicago's latest folk hero, Michael Barrett, to take 10 days off to do charity work.

Sullivan: 3 Sox suspended/fined is further proof that AJ started this fight. Did I mention that his act is growing tiresome?

Tribune Poll:
Who is the bigger villian in this brawl: Pierzynski or Anderson?

Absolutely perfect.

PaleHoseGeorge
05-26-2006, 11:37 AM
Pierzynski Fined for Instigating Brawl
- Anderson, Cora suspended for fighting dirty

Chicago's latest folk hero, Michael Barrett, to take 10 days off to do charity work.

Sullivan: 3 Sox suspended/fined is further proof that AJ started this fight. Did I mention that his act is growing tiresome?

Tribune Poll:
Who is the bigger villian in this brawl: Pierzynski or Anderson?

Nicely done! Another McGrath Trophy for you!!!

:cubune

Hangar18
05-26-2006, 11:48 AM
Barrett to receive thunderous Ovation today
How big and how long the only question as Cubs expect game to be delayed
Not since 1941, when US lashed back at Japan, has an Ovation been so anticipated
The longer the ovation, the Better the Fan, say experts

10 reasons WHY Barrett should be Celebrated by Paul Sullivan
Baseballs best fans know when to applaud sportsmanship/never need Media plodding say experts
Thunderous ovation expected for retaliatory move with villain Pierzynski
Baker turns Cell Phone off; Besieged with congratulatory phone calls from other teams over AJ

Cora an Agressor Too says MLB
Hi-Fiving of Pierzynski after Home-Run gets him 2 games
Coras innocent act an old one
Has also been long known to instigate trouble and mayhem

Punch to AJ long overdue
We at the Tribune have long written that somene needed to step up
and corral deviant catcher.
AJ fights too numerous to list
Manly actions show good will always triumph over evil
Standing up for the little guy is how patrons at Cubby Bear Lounge see Barrett

VenturaSoxFan23
05-26-2006, 11:58 AM
MLB Strikes Back With Very Strict Penalty

Entire South Side Team To Be Deported For Instigating Brawl

(Sox take on Jays in Toronto.)

SOXPHILE
05-26-2006, 12:41 PM
Barrett to receive thunderous Ovation today
How big and how long the only question as Cubs expect game to be delayed
Not since 1941, when US lashed back at Japan, has an Ovation been so anticipated


You know what's really sad ? This is probably not far off from the truth as far as the Tribune Empire's radio division goes. I'd be willing to bet a round of beer for the house that when Bitch Boy comes up to bat and gets the standing ovation, Dumb & Dumberer comment on how wonderful these fans are, isn't this great, they really show their passion and love for the Cubbies.

Hughes: "...and that brings Michael Barrett to the plate Ronnie....and...just listen to these fans..as they give Barrett a STANDING OVATION...!"

Santo: "Oh yeah ! Oh yeah, Pat ! And you know what ? He deserves it ! This is a player that comes to play every day...he..he wears his heart on his sleeve...and he just...he just plays with alot of passion. And you know what ? These fans are just great. They know that. They know what kind of player he is, and they really appreciate it. These fans...I tell ya...That's why I always say that these fans are just the best."

palehozenychicty
05-26-2006, 12:45 PM
You know what's really sad ? This is probably the truth as far as the Tribune Empire's radio division goes. I'd be willing to bet a round of beer for the house that when Bitch Boy comes up to bat and gets the standing ovation, Dumb & Dumberer comment on how wonderful these fans are, isn't this great, they really show their passion and love for the Cubbies.

Hughes: "...and that brings Michael Barrett to the plate Ronnie....and...just listen to these fans..as they give Barrett a STANDING OVATION...!"

Santo: "Oh yeah ! Oh yeah, Pat ! And you know what ? He deserves it ! This is a player that comes to play every day...he..he wears his heart on his sleeve...and he just...he just plays with alot of passion. And you know what ? These fans are just great. They know that. They know what kind of player he is, and they really appreciate it. These fans...I tell ya...That's why I always say that these fans are just the best."

Cleaned up the passage for you!:D:

whitesoxwin
05-26-2006, 12:49 PM
MLB Slams the Sox

Latest round of suspensions reminds America how dangerous "The Cell" can be

White Sox Players and Coaches given stiff penalties and/or fines as a result of instigating fight with Chicago's Favorite Team

Governor Blagojevich intercedes on behalf of Michael Barrett causes rift between him and Mayor Daley

Governor contacts MLB Commissioner and demands recintion of suspension --the only Cub player penalized-- and added they (MLB) need to apologies to "St. Michael", his family and especially the Cub fans--- for the good of baseball --- "The Cubs knew they were going into a dangerous venue--and this is the result?--Michael is a martyr" remarked the Governor--a Cub fan (like most of Chicago).
"Our Governor has really gone too far this time! I have added extra police for the (southside) ballpark. What does the Governor expect? We arm the umpires?" exclaimed Mayor Daley--a White Sox supporter.

Hangar18
05-26-2006, 01:27 PM
Hughes: ....2 outs now, that will bring up Barrett ............and listen to the fans
Santo: ....that is something
Hughes: The Friendly Confines are giving a Stannnnnnnnnnnnding Ovation to Michael Barrett right now .........
Santo: Thats just great isnt it? We have some of the best fans ...oh man
this is something else................these fans ..................wow
Barrett: Barrett is known as one of the good guys in baseball, and in the clubhouse
Santo: Juan Pierre said they were going to stick up for him no matter what, tells you how together this team really is
Hughes: You know, you see it on some ballclubs, they go out on the road,
some players go one way, some go another, but Juan Pierre says this team is one of the closest hes ever been on. Thats got to say something right there
Santo: Yeah you know it does. This team just pulls together, and the Fans, sheesh, the fans here just support and committ to the team
Hughes: The fans feel bad too Ronnie, they want to win So Badly, they feel for the players, they support them no matter what. The fans know deep down that Barrett is a Winner and is passionate, just like them
Santo: We ...oh man.......wow, we have the best fans in baseball
Hughes: No doubt about it Ronnie my friend. This team is so close on the road, people going out to dinner, playing cards on the plane, and it shows when you hear the fans today ....LISTEN TO THEM! Listen to these Fans!!
Santo: It is unbelievable. unbelievable our fans here. Marty Barrett knows these fans are great too
Hughes: Michael
Santo: Marty Barrett too!
Hughes: You are right partner. Marty the former Red Sox great. Always said Wrigley and the fans were amazing
simply amazing the fans here in Wrigley

vegyrex
05-26-2006, 01:42 PM
Thug Pierzynski Fined
HAHAHAHA Take That You Sox Low-Life

Barrett suspended for 10 games, will appeal unfair ruling.

SOX LA Mikey
05-26-2006, 01:57 PM
PUNKzynski FINED
Brawl Instigator Gets off Light
escapes MUCH DESERVED Death Penalty



BARRETT ROBBED!
Much too Harsh 10 Game Suspension could spoil CUBS Championship Season

pdr
05-26-2006, 02:18 PM
PIERZYNSKI FINED $2,000,000,000,000,000,000
give or take a few zeroes

SweetnesSox
05-26-2006, 02:39 PM
Sox Manager demoted to 3rd base
-Punk-zynski to take over?
-Players form coup
-Cell may or may not still be standing
-"It's the revolution!" -Brian Anderson
-"Peasant class" Sox fans carry torches, behead managers

maurice
05-26-2006, 02:42 PM
Cora suspension proves that Dempster was right when he said that Cora bit Jones, even though he denies saying it

Hitmen77
05-26-2006, 02:50 PM
Sox Manager demoted to 3rd base
-Punk-zynski to take over?
-Players form coup
-Cell may or may not still be standing
-"It's the revolution!" -Brian Anderson
-"Peasant class" Sox fans carry torches, behead managers

That's pretty good. How about:

Ozzie Demoted to 3rd Base Coach
- Cheating, fighting, foul language cited as reasons
- Sox to take a chapter from the Cubs book and implement "College of Coaches" to run the team until further notice.

Hangar18
05-26-2006, 03:08 PM
Injustice! Barrett suspended, Pierzynski goes free
Executives wonder if Watson secretly a SOX fan
TV Clearly shows AJ blocking the plate, forcing rumble with good guy Barrett
Barretts hometown stunned by acquittal; Mayor faints, outrage ensues
Slapping of Plate akin to Slapping your grandmother say Nalaki Tribe leaders
National Association of Grandmothers outraged; Plan protest

Whats Next? Fines for hitting homeruns against SOX? -Sullivan pg 101

AJ gets ACQUITTAL
MLB Sends disturbing message letting known Agitator run free
Protests expected (crossing fingers)

"Good Guy in Clubhouse" gets unjust treatment - Sleazak pg 119
The Good die young, the Bad run free. Or do they? - Morrissey pg 109

SOX LA Mikey
05-26-2006, 03:51 PM
Brawl Penalties Handed Out..

St. Michael Barrett rewarded for taking on 'Punk' Sox
given a 10 day all expenses paid vacation

Entire Sox Team Deported to Canada
Canuck Officials: "We don't want these Punks, Eh"

MarySwiss
05-26-2006, 05:41 PM
CUBS ADOPT BOLD NEW STRATEGY; ANNOUNCE THAT FROM THIS DAY FORTH, HOME GAMES WILL ONLY BE PLAYED ON CLOUDY DAYS!!

Cubs also announce new house rule. From now on, any fly ball in the top of an inning that is hit higher than 30 feet (in Dusty's opinion) is an automatic out. This rule does not apply in the bottom half of the inning, however.

eastchicagosoxfan
05-26-2006, 07:34 PM
A few days late but.........

TRIBUNE EXCLUSIVE INVESTIGATION REVEALS:

SQUIRREL WAS A RARE " PIT BULL " BREED
IT WAS ON THE FIELD TO ATTACK AND MAIM
THE SQUIREL'S OWNER?
NONE OTHER THAN WILLIAM LIGUE

SoxFan64
05-27-2006, 12:11 AM
Demoted Ozzie fails at 3rd base;
Is move to bullpen coach next?
The Tribune investigates

Cubs prevail well ok we did lose but that's besides the point
McPhail: We still are Trusty of Dusty

The Racehorse
05-27-2006, 07:28 AM
A.J., O.J. & Jesse James - Getting Away With it!
-- Why do bad people use notoriety in a bad way? - Oh the Humanity!

Barrett, Mother Theresa & Gandhi - Nice Guys!
-- Editorial explains how Cubbie Blue makes the world a better place

:tomatoaward

digdagdug23
05-27-2006, 09:46 AM
Cooler and Sun genetically linked!
After an exhaustive DNA analysis, there is conclusive evidence that points to a shared DNA strand between cooler and Sun.

When asked to comment on the overwhelming conspiracy by these two, Sun simply said "Hey, he's my 4th cousin on my mother's side, I haven't even seen him since the 1978 family reunion"

jongarlandlover
05-27-2006, 11:42 AM
Pierzynski Fined for Instigating Brawl
- Anderson, Cora suspended for fighting dirty

Chicago's latest folk hero, Michael Barrett, to take 10 days off to do charity work.

Sullivan: 3 Sox suspended/fined is further proof that AJ started this fight. Did I mention that his act is growing tiresome?

Tribune Poll:
Who is the bigger villian in this brawl: Pierzynski or Anderson?

haha. nice.

TommyJohn
05-27-2006, 12:19 PM
A.J. Acquitted
Fight instigator walks away with fine

Verdict "terrible blow to our Justice System!" yells Talking Head.

O.J. to A.J.: "Be strong. They got nothing on you."

A.J.: "I'm going to devote my life to finding the guy who really started that fight."

voodoochile
05-27-2006, 04:49 PM
A.J., O.J. & Jesse James - Getting Away With it!
-- Why do bad people use notoriety in a bad way? - Oh the Humanity!

Barrett, Mother Theresa & Gandhi - Nice Guys!
-- Editorial explains how Cubbie Blue makes the world a better place

:tomatoaward


Some graphics guy needs to make a much bigger tomato award for threads with over 1000 replies. Personally, I would love it if someone could just make the tomato bigger, perhaps even overlapping the borders of the original image and then change 100 to 1000. I'm not at home and honestly am not that good at it anyway. There is no way to put enough tomatoes in this threads to represent it's sheer magnitude...:tongue:

1 Dog
05-27-2006, 06:21 PM
CHEATING BRAVES SKATE BY VALIANT CUBS

Atlanta's Perennial Chokers Exploit Loophole in MLB Rules

"Who knew more than one dude was allowed to score on a sac fly? I never even heard of that one, dude" opines Baker.

"Play was 'bush league,'" declaims Cub veteran Hill.

SweetnesSox
05-27-2006, 07:49 PM
"Play was 'bush league,'" declaims Cub veteran Hill.

niiiice.

The Racehorse
05-28-2006, 08:28 AM
Some graphics guy needs to make a much bigger tomato award for threads with over 1000 replies. Personally, I would love it if someone could just make the tomato bigger, perhaps even overlapping the borders of the original image and then change 100 to 1000. I'm not at home and honestly am not that good at it anyway. There is no way to put enough tomatoes in this threads to represent it's sheer magnitude...:tongue:

lol... yeah, your right. I saw that the thread was at 100 replies, so I thought I'd use the tomato graphic, which has been neglected lately.

However, this Cubune headline thread is [besides a brilliant idea] always growing... your idea is great, or maybe someone could come up with a tomato graphic with 'Cubune' written in cursive across it... or maybe a rotten tomato graphic.

I'd try it, but my photoshop skills are lacking. :D:

Hitmen77
05-28-2006, 09:59 AM
CUBS WIN BEST ATTENDANCE SINCE '78!!!
Fans keep filling seats and all standing room areas!

Todd Walker: "That's the greatest thing about it,...... Any team can say they have the best fans in the world when they're 30-15, but when you're 18-30 … those are truly the best fans in the world."

* Actual content from today's Cubune. :rolleyes:






Question: When is anyone in the Chicago media going to have the guts to tell the truth and call out Cub fans for their IDIOCY of blindly paying money for a joke of a team? I love how they constantly wrap their pile of dung of a team in that same old "we have the greatest fans" story.

How about a reporter use his brains for once and tell everyone how selling out standing room for a pathetic team shows that the fans at Wrigley are stupid and don't even care about the game on the field. They're just there because of the bars or because they're tourists. Sounds like the worst fans in the world to me.

vegyrex
05-28-2006, 10:22 AM
CUBS WIN BEST ATTENDANCE SINCE '78!!!
Fans keep filling seats and all standing room areas!

Todd Walker: "That's the greatest thing about it,...... Any team can say they have the best fans in the world when they're 30-15, but when you're 18-30 … those are truly the best fans in the world."

* Actual content from today's Cubune. :rolleyes:






Question: When is anyone in the Chicago media going to have the guts to tell the truth and call out Cub fans for their IDIOCY of blindly paying money for a joke of a team? I love how they constantly wrap their pile of dung of a team in that same old "we have the greatest fans" story.

How about a reporter use his brains for once and tell everyone how selling out standing room for a pathetic team shows that the fans at Wrigley are stupid and don't even care about the game on the field. They're just there because of the bars or because they're tourists. Sounds like the worst fans in the world to me.
If things don't change and the saviors-Prior, Wood, Lee- can't turn that ship of fools around. The Cubs, so far as I know, could be the first team in MLB history to get three million in attendance and finish last. I know back in 1999 and 2000 they drew over two million both years and finished last both times.

Oh my, that's pathetic.

No wait, its really a "celebration" as Skip Carey once said defending the flubs high attendance even though they continually lose. :?:

vegyrex
05-28-2006, 10:58 AM
MLB SHOULD MAKE LOSING THE NEW WINNING
Every time the cubs lose, they actually move up in the standings.
All teams with losing records are now winners!!! Instead of being 13 game out of first place our cubs will now be only 3 games out.

Get those Pirates!!

Sullivan: Revolutionary idea will spark baseball

Fr. Greeley: This idea is crazy enough to work. You have my blessing

John Cusack: [takes off Sox cap, puts on Cub cap] GO CUBBIES!!

CLR01
05-28-2006, 02:30 PM
RAGING GUILLEN THROWS ROOKIE ANDERSON OUT OF CLUBHOUSE

"I don't believe he can play in this league", Guillen said. "The thing is, he has to give me good at-bats. Getting a hit and good at-bats is easy and right now he's not giving me good at-bats. . Tell that Triple-A [bleep] I've tried to be patient with him,that's my problem. He's going to get me fired."

SOURCE: GM Williams aggresively pursuing trade with Angels and Reds.

cbotnyse
05-28-2006, 05:16 PM
Alleged Sox fan runs on the field in another Cubs thriller at Wrigley.......

SOX LA Mikey
05-28-2006, 05:18 PM
Valiant CUBBIES rally for 4 runs in the Ninth!!
Reward for the Greatest Fans EVER
Ramirez nearly makes Amazing Catch with his Head
still lose, swept by Braves


Inept SOXalmostSWEPT!!! by BJays
how'd they win One?

tebman
05-28-2006, 05:23 PM
Ramirez Struck by Ball

Cub front office questions woman, choose not to prosecute

Dan Mega
05-28-2006, 05:25 PM
SOX FAN JUMPS ON FIELD AT WRIGLEY

WILLIAM LIGUE SEEN PURCHASING GROCERIES
Sources say these "groceries" were actually implements of destruction to attack more 1st base coaches

MarySwiss
05-28-2006, 05:31 PM
SOX ESCAPE WITH A NEAR-LOSS aka, a WIN.

CUBS COME DAMN CLOSE TO WINNING aka a LOSS.

CUBS CONTINUE TO OUTDRAW SOX as they continue on their quest for yet another meaningless "Best Attendance" trophy.

SoxEd
05-28-2006, 05:37 PM
Cubs OFFICIALLY the Coolest Franchise in the Majors!

"They must be - what other organisation is so obviously unconcerned with winning their games? The fans too!" - Dr. Werner Dummkopf, Professor of Psychosociological Phenomena at Meshuggeneh U, Lower Sidonia.

nebraskasox
05-28-2006, 06:27 PM
Actual headlines are sometimes the best:

Sox avoid sweep.

Cubs lose in 11.


It sounds more negative to say the Sox were almost swept instead of saying the Sox win. And it sounds more positive to simply say the Cubs lose and not say they were swept by the Braves in extending their losing streak to six.

jongarlandlover
05-28-2006, 08:15 PM
No Sugarcoating It
Guillen fumes after Sox waste numerous scoring opportunities

Oh wait, that's actually in the Tribune today...

Cellview22
05-28-2006, 08:27 PM
North Side Fans Prove They are Best in all of Sports!

Franchise-Record Crowds Pack Wrigley Field Win or Lose

soxruleEP
05-28-2006, 09:08 PM
Heads-up play by Ramirez not enough for Cubs!

Braves take page from cheater Sox playbook for extra-inning win!

ShoelessJoeS
05-28-2006, 09:42 PM
Heads-up play by Ramirez not enough for Cubs!

Braves take page from cheater Sox playbook for extra-inning win!:kneeslap: :rolling: :roflmao:

Hitmen77
05-28-2006, 09:45 PM
World's Greatest Fans Find Way To Enjoy Wrigley and Avoid Watching Cubs Lose - LEAVE EARLY!!
Interview with fan at local bar: "Hey, man, we left for the Cubbie Bear after the 6th inning because we figured the game was over and we just came here for the beer anyway. Huh? What's that? The Cubs came back to tie it in the 9th? Woohoo!!!! Go Cubbieeessss, Yeah!!!!...."

Sullivan: Latest fashion among Cub fans is to switch to shirts that are "Wrigley Green" in the late innings. On TV, these may fool viewers into thinking they're seeing the famed Wrigley seats of the same color.


Pg. 8: Sox salvage final game of series against Expos, as South Siders continue stumbling towards 2nd place finish.

thomas35forever
05-28-2006, 11:22 PM
Ball hits Ramirez in head!
Could Pierzynski be involved with greasing it? The Trib investigates

SOX LA Mikey
05-29-2006, 12:44 PM
RamireznearWeb Gem
just misses Amazing catch with his Hair
'Damn cap got in the way'

cheeses_h_rice
05-29-2006, 02:30 PM
RAMIREZ ACTS AS CUBBIE AMBASSADOR TO WORLD CUP, HEADS BALL
"It was the least I could do to extend a hand from the Chicago Cubs to the world of soccer. After all, the World Cup only happens every four years," Said Smiling Cubs Third Baseman of His Unselfish Act of Sports Brotherhood.

koch44
05-29-2006, 02:46 PM
SOX FAN RUNS ONTO FIELD AT WRIGLEY, DELAYS GAME
RAMIREZ TERRIFIED OF SOX FANS, GOT HIT IN HEAD WITH A POP UP: "I was terrified that a crack-head was going to attack me, I just saw some movement from the corner of my eye and all of a sudden the ball hit me in the noggin," Ramirez said.
Sullivan: SOX fans, your act is growing tiresome.
Knue: Visit chicagosports.com for a histroy of SOX fan on field incidents.

rookiewhitesox
05-29-2006, 03:32 PM
Chicago Cubune


EXTRA ! EXTRA !
Jennifer Anniston and Vince Vaugh spotted at Wrigley.
No celebrity spotted at the Cell.

SoxEd
05-29-2006, 03:41 PM
"It was the least I could do to extend a hand from the Chicago Cubs to the world of soccer. After all, the World Cup only happens every four years," Said Smiling Cubs Third Baseman of His Unselfish Act of Sports Brotherhood.

:kneeslap: :thumbsup:

TommyJohn
05-29-2006, 04:56 PM
AGAIN!
Fan runs out on field at CELL
Drunken moron collared by security as moronic crowd cheers him

Sullivan: I'm tired of you people! Grow up already! My God! I'm so frustrated I'm going to cry!

Zorn: Criminals run amok in Cell. Is Chicago safe?

McGrath Editorial: If only the White Sox would pack up and leave town, this wouldn't be an issue. How about it Jerry? Leave Chicago to its true team and greatest fans

A look back at Ligue, Dybas and all other incidents

Vanderberg: I remember Willie; A look back at Willie Harris, first White Sox fan to run on field and attack someone

Father Feeley: Jesus loves us all except low class, ethnic bleep White Sox fans

TommyJohn
05-29-2006, 04:59 PM
Trib Corrections Department

Yesterday the Trib reported that a White Sox fan ran out on the field at the Cell and was
cheered by the crowd. It was brought to the editorial staff's attention that the White Sox
actually played in Toronto on that day. The incident that we reported as happening at the
Cell did not happen at all, anywhere. The Trib regrets the error. (Not really.)

MarySwiss
05-29-2006, 05:46 PM
Trib Corrections Department

Yesterday the Trib reported that a White Sox fan ran out on the field at the Cell and was
cheered by the crowd. It was brought to the editorial staff's attention that the White Sox
actually played in Toronto on that day. The incident that we reported as happening at the
Cell did not happen at all, anywhere. The Trib regrets the error. (Not really.)

Excellent!

digdagdug23
05-29-2006, 06:45 PM
CUBS WIN! CUBS WIN!
*Season tickets issued to Vince Vaughn/Jennifer Anniston.
* Dusty Baker quoted "We tried our hardest, but still managed to pull off the W.
South Siders up to same old schtick.
*AJ Pierzinski at it again, clearly pushing Aaron Boone over the edge, MLB shocked and ready to hand down suspensions.
*Joey Cora, a menace to the game, sends Paul Konerko sliding in to home, aiming for a collison at the plate.

jongarlandlover
05-29-2006, 08:25 PM
Trib Corrections Department

Yesterday the Trib reported that a White Sox fan ran out on the field at the Cell and was
cheered by the crowd. It was brought to the editorial staff's attention that the White Sox
actually played in Toronto on that day. The incident that we reported as happening at the
Cell did not happen at all, anywhere. The Trib regrets the error. (Not really.)

haha. i love it. :tongue:

Hitmen77
05-29-2006, 10:35 PM
...
South Siders up to same old schtick.
*AJ Pierzinski at it again, clearly pushing Aaron Boone over the edge, MLB shocked and ready to hand down suspensions.


Good one. Why was he headed toward their dugout? Just like with Barrett!

Hangar18
05-30-2006, 08:57 AM
Hollywood Loves the Cubs too
Vince Vaughn, Jennifer Aniston seen at Cub game, big fans

LuvSox
05-30-2006, 09:02 AM
Vince Vaughn, Jennifer Aniston, Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie and Mark Cuban to buy Cubs

"It's a pipeline to the enormous baseball talent in Nambia" says Jim Hendry

yesenia
05-30-2006, 09:41 AM
Cubs snap losing streak (http://www.chicagotribune.com/sports/baseball/cubs/cs-060529cubsgamer,1,892486.story?coll=chi-sportsnew-hed)
May 29, 2006
Cubs starter Kerry Wood pitched six solid innings and hit a key RBI single to get his first win since July 15, leading the Cubs past the Cincinnati Reds.
• Cubs' May full of wrong kind of magic (http://www.chicagotribune.com/sports/baseball/cubs/cs-060529cubsmay,1,5562740.story?coll=chi-sportsnew-hed)
• Cubs' Prior not overwhelming in Peoria (http://www.chicagotribune.com/sports/baseball/cubs/cs-060529prior,1,7199931.story?coll=chi-sportsnew-hed)
• Cub's mom gives earful to taunting fan (http://www.chicagotribune.com/sports/baseball/cubs/cs-060529cubsmom,1,6611318.story?coll=chi-sportsnew-hed)
• Cubs coach tired of hearing criticism (http://www.chicagotribune.com/sports/baseball/cubs/cs-060529mitchell,1,5458133.column?coll=chi-sportsnew-hed)

Is it Cubs', Cub's, or Cubs?


depends on the subject/noun.

Hitmen77
05-30-2006, 10:03 AM
Celebrities Vaughn and Aniston Cheer Cubs to Victory!!!
- Woohoo!!! Wrigley is so great that everyone wants to be there.
- Ronnie Woo Woo: "Jennifer Woo Vince Woo Cubs Woo!"
- MLB to award Cubs 10 extra victories, automatic playoff berth for being so damn cool.

Reaction from Cub fans:
"hey, that's why everyone's a Cubs fan. We have everything - celebrities, vegetation on the walls, old scoreboard..... that's what baseball is all about. That's why no one likes the White Sox. They have nothing. Nobody cares about winning some so-called World Series. Fans just aren't interested in that. Nobody likes their "fan-friendly" and "family-friendly" stadium. Anyone in their right mind knows that if the ballpark doesn't smell like a urinal, then you're not experiencing real baseball in Chicago." - Jeremy and Heather, Evanston

Sox win. But, nobody cares because we all know winning is boring.

Crime report: No drive-by shootings or drug busts reported around the Cell this weekend. We'll keep you posted the moment we hear about any crimes around that dangerous park.

Hangar18
05-30-2006, 10:25 AM
Everybody Loves the Cubs
Even Vince Vaughn

nsdjoe
05-30-2006, 10:47 AM
WORLD SERIES-BOUND CUBS LEAD MAJORS in losses in May.

Hangar18
05-30-2006, 11:17 AM
Cubs On Roll
Have now won 1 of their last 5

Prior pitched yesterday too!
Attendance record set in Peoria

Hangar18
05-30-2006, 11:20 AM
Wood throws Masterpiece *****
Complete game shutout shows where hes going in career
(ok he didnt exactly throw a complete game, but he used all of his pitches)
(well ok, it wasnt a shutout either, but the fans reacted, it was like a shutout)



**** actual headlines

nsdjoe
05-30-2006, 11:27 AM
Cubs On Roll
Have now won 2 of their last 11


Fixed.

Layla
05-30-2006, 01:08 PM
EXCLUSIVE: LIST OF AJ PIERZYNSKI'S EXPLOITS OVER CAREER

(Okay, it's in the Sun Times, but because it rags on AJ, we're including .50 for every reader to buy the Sun Times and read what a bum he is).

JENNIFER ANNISTON VISITS 'FRIENDLY' CONFINES. CHOOSES CUBS OVER WHITE SOX

(we know she was in town for a movie premier, and we know the White Sox were in Cleveland, but she choose not to go to Cleveland)

Mr.1Dog
05-30-2006, 02:11 PM
Boy Chooses Cubs over own Family:



COURT RULING, Chicago Illinois, May 26, 2006 Chicago, Illinois (AP) - A
seven year old boy was at the center of a Chicago courtroom drama
yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have
custody of him.

The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge
initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with the child
custody law and regulations requiring that family unity be maintained
to the degree possible.

The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat
him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her.
When the judge suggested that he live with his grandparents, the
boy cried out that they also beat him.

After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning
that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among
them, the Judge took the unprecedented step of allowing
the boy to propose who should have custody of him.

After two recesses to check legal references and confer with child
welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the Chicago
Cubs, who the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.

soxfanatlanta
05-30-2006, 02:13 PM
Boy Chooses Cubs over own Family:
<snip>

I was wondering when this was going to show up.

Hangar18
05-30-2006, 04:45 PM
CUBS WIN
snap skid, Playoffs next
Playoff tickets to go on sale next saturday

Hangar18
05-30-2006, 04:52 PM
Cubs Popularity Soaring
Highest ever attendance for 3game series
(never mind we have more seats to sell now)

Chisox003
05-30-2006, 07:01 PM
Implosion!
-White Sox message-board website up for grabs as members tear at each other's throats; Cubs, Tribune at heart of debate
-Typical Sox fan behavior: Running on field, drugs and violence all everyday occurances for this fan-base of ghetto hooligans
-Success: We uncover a brilliant plot by "certain" Tribune contributors who claim this was their plan "all along"

Hitmen77
05-31-2006, 11:34 AM
Implosion!
-White Sox message-board website up for grabs as members tear at each other's throats; Cubs, Tribune at heart of debate
-Typical Sox fan behavior: Running on field, drugs and violence all everyday occurances for this fan-base of ghetto hooligans
-Success: We uncover a brilliant plot by "certain" Tribune contributors who claim this was their plan "all along"


Just as long this thread isn't shut down.

I'm sorry, but this thread is just freaking hilarious! It's always good for a few of these:
:roflmao: :rolling: :kneeslap:

SOXPHILE
05-31-2006, 12:17 PM
Streaking !
Turnaround continues, as red hot Cubs dominate Reds for 2nd straight game.


Oh No ! Chicago Sky lose.
Don't worry, they'll win their next game ! pages 2-15
Coming in Sunday Magazine: MORE Chicago Sky coverage. If you don't read it or care, you are sexist and hate all that is wonderful about Chicago



Sox scalped in Cleveland, as May swoon continues

-infighting among posters in hate filled website that claims to support team only adds to team's woes; belies true, nasty nature of criminal element that White Sox cater to.

viagracat
05-31-2006, 12:21 PM
If we're waging war on Flubsession here, why is this thread still in the Clubhouse instead of WTS? :?:

It's a great thread, don't get me wrong, but...I was just wondering.

spiffie
05-31-2006, 12:41 PM
If we're waging war on Flubsession here, why is this thread still in the Clubhouse instead of WTS? :?:

It's a great thread, don't get me wrong, but...I was just wondering.

Actually, in light of recent events I'm wondering why this isn't in the ****house. It's basically a 3,000 post thread obsessing about the Cubs (notice the title of the thread doesn't use the word "Tribune") right in the heart of the Clubhouse.

cheeses_h_rice
05-31-2006, 01:11 PM
SOMBER 'SITE
Premier Sox Fan Forum Suffers Major Blow as "Pied Piper" Hangar18 Is Banished
Knue on the "9/11 on the South Side": "BWAHAHAHAHA."

Hitmen77
05-31-2006, 02:26 PM
Actually, in light of recent events I'm wondering why this isn't in the ****house. It's basically a 3,000 post thread obsessing about the Cubs (notice the title of the thread doesn't use the word "Tribune") right in the heart of the Clubhouse.


Noooo!!!!!! Please don't roadhouse this thread. This thread is just too damned funny.

It's just Sox fans having some laughs by using our trademark cynical sense of humor.....okay, I have to post this....


Sox Fan Sees The Light, Suggests End to Tribune Mocking Thread.


- heads roll in shake up at Chicago (AL) fan site
- crime experts fear spike in violent crimes on south side if Sox fans lose one of their few outlets for pent up bitterness and hatred.

Paul Sullivan: Top Ten Worst Moments in WSI History.

:wink:

GoSox2K3
05-31-2006, 04:36 PM
Cubs Ship Sox Fan Hairston to Texas for slugger and former All-Star Nevin.

Dusty: Jerry had to go. He was a typical Sox fan - totally obsessed with the Cubs. All he ever talked about day in and day out was Cubs, Cubs, Cubs. We have no place for that in our clubhouse.

Tribune Poll: Will Phil Nevin be the next Dave Kingman?

miker
05-31-2006, 04:58 PM
Sox Fans Riot, Attack One Another
on surprisingly Cub-centric Internet Site

TommyJohn
05-31-2006, 06:25 PM
18 Man Out
All Sox fans in shock as Cub-obsessed site bans their best poster

"Why did they ban him? He's the best Sox fan after William Ligue!" Sox fans tell Trib

"Say it ain't so, Hangar!" cries little boy

"Shut up, brat. And take off that Cub hat. Don't you know you're being taken in by a greedy..."etc. is quintessential Sox fan's reply

Sullivan: Shoeless Joe, Shirtless Bill, Rantless Hangar; a look back at all Sox fans and players whose behavior got them banned

Guest columnist Eliot Asinof: Hangar18 was promised a $10,000 bonus by PaleHoseGeorge if he reached 10,000 posts. When Hangar did, PHG reneged. Hangar fouled up PHG's site with Cub posts to get back at him. No need to show you any proof, my word is enough.

Vanderberg: A quaint, nostalgic look back at the first person to be banned from WSI

Fuller_Schettman
05-31-2006, 06:33 PM
Cubs Acquire DH Nevin!
Expect to pressure NL into adopting designated hitter rule after All-Star Break
Rangers get truckload of Sox DVDs in return
Hendry out-foxes rest of league by getting leg-up in the "DH Arms Race"

GoSox2K3
05-31-2006, 09:47 PM
Hangar Curse?
- Sox Winless Since Media Watch Zealot Banned at WSI
- Lack of "Flubsession" Blamed for South Siders' Offensive Power Outage


MLB Officially Awards 90 Wins to '98 Cubs
- Without Sox watchdog around to "fight the good fight", Cubs finally granted 90 wins for 163 game effort 8 years ago.

gbergman
05-31-2006, 11:28 PM
Hangar Curse?
- Sox Winless Since Media Watch Zealot Banned at WSI
- Lack of "Flubsession" Blamed for South Siders' Offensive Power Outage


MLB Officially Awards 90 Wins to '98 Cubs
- Without Sox watchdog around to "fight the good fight", Cubs finally granted 90 wins for 163 game effort 8 years ago.

:roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao:

GoSox2K3
06-01-2006, 09:17 AM
Sox Just Not Popular With Voters.



*oops, that's a real headline on the Trib's website.

http://www.chicagotribune.com/sports/baseball/whitesox/cs-060531soxbits,1,3109215.story?coll=chi-sportsnew-hed

Layla
06-01-2006, 09:36 AM
CUBS (almost) SWEEP REDS!!!!

INDIANS (almost) SWEEP WHITE SOX

SOecks
06-01-2006, 09:38 AM
Sox Just Not Popular With Voters.



*oops, that's a real headline on the Trib's website.

I just read that. Wow, just wow :?:

Hitmen77
06-01-2006, 01:28 PM
I just read that. Wow, just wow :?:

:knue
Now that Henry has been silenced, there's nothing to stop our anti-Sox headlines. Bwahahahahahahah AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!

cbotnyse
06-01-2006, 01:39 PM
Sox Just Not Popular With Voters.



*oops, that's a real headline on the Trib's website.

is that really true? that has got to get under everyone skin....that would have made me laugh if it was made up, but the fact thats its really true is crazy

jongarlandlover
06-01-2006, 02:05 PM
Sox Just Not Popular With Voters.



*oops, that's a real headline on the Trib's website.

yeah, i just read that...i was about to post it on here. that really shows the cubune's bias, now doesn't it?

GoSox2K3
06-01-2006, 02:52 PM
I just went back and added the link to my original post.

http://www.chicagotribune.com/sports/baseball/whitesox/cs-060531soxbits,1,3109215.story?coll=chi-sportsnew-hed

santo=dorf
06-01-2006, 05:46 PM
Sox Just Not Popular With Voters.



*oops, that's a real headline on the Trib's website.

http://www.chicagotribune.com/sports/baseball/whitesox/cs-060531soxbits,1,3109215.story?coll=chi-sportsnew-hed
Mark Gonzales is such a ****ing dumbass. The Sox should feel ashamed that their players are finishing first behind the always spamming Red sox and Yankees fans? :rolleyes:

SoxFan64
06-01-2006, 07:12 PM
Mark Gonzales is such a ****ing dumbass.

Sandorf,

Gonzales does not write the headlines. The editors do or they assign it to headline writers. So don't blame Gonzales for the title -- just the content. :wink:

Hitmen77
06-03-2006, 11:31 AM
Bitter Sox Fans Run Out of Funny Mock Headline Ideas As Team Drops 6 of 8.

'What's the Score' In Disarray.
- One time flagship forum on popular fan website now a virtual ghost town after flubsession crackdown.

gbergman
06-03-2006, 01:41 PM
White Sox 0-4 since Cubs Historian Hangar18 was banned from WSI

Tribune pushing Mods of WSI to make it season long and hope this trend continues

If trend continues Hangar18 will be placed in tribunes Cub Historian HOF

Hitmen77
06-03-2006, 11:10 PM
Oh, Thank Nevin!!
- Hendry's Genius Proven Yet Again as Phil Nevin Powers Cubs to Victory
- Cubs send clear message to rest of NL Central that they are the team to beat.

Rush Advances to Arena Bowl After Below .500 Season
- Proves that everyones favorite baseball team can bring the NL pennant to Wrigley.

Pg. 4: Sox give up 4 unanswered runs, squeak by Texas.

SOX LA Mikey
06-04-2006, 05:12 AM
SOXwin,LOOK LIKE ****

CUBS BEAT CARDS AGAIN!
please disregard the fact that they can't beat anyone else

Mod Edit: We have language filters. Take the next three days off to read the rules about how to use them.

cws05champ
06-04-2006, 10:18 AM
Little Pretty about Sox 'W'


Prior Close to being ready


Better play, happy days for Cubs!

Actual headlines from Chicagosports.com...

TommyJohn
06-04-2006, 12:30 PM
Tigers, Tigers, Burning Bright!
Is this team for real? YES!
Best record in baseball? YES!
Will they burn out? Not a chance!

Sullivan: Hey, stupid people. Give me one good reason the Tigers won't win it all this year. Thought so

Morrissey: You're kidding yourselves if you think they can't win it all

Thread hijack: Hi, Detroit Free Press sports editor here. We want our headlines and stories back. Thank you.

Trib Flashback!

May, 2005:


White Sox win again, maintain best record in baseball

Are Sox for real? Get Real!

Best record in baseball? Are you kidding?

Will they burn out? Our baseball experts say YES!

Sullivan: Hey, stupid people. Give me one good reason why you think they are "for real"? Thought so



Morrissey: They're playing the Royals, for Pete's sake! You're kidding yourselves if you think they can win it all!


Special Feature: A look back at the 1993 Giants, 2001 Mariners, 1969 Cubs, 1964 Phillies, 1951 Dodgers, 1995 Angels...are we leaving any teams out?

gobears1987
06-04-2006, 04:07 PM
White Sox Winless in Games they have Lost!
Morrisey explains why the Sox are 0-22 in the games they have lost.

miker
06-05-2006, 09:51 AM
Cubs 2006 World Championship Quest Continues
Chicago's favorite team improves with near-sweep of "arch"-rival Cardinals

Tigers Surprise Team of the 21st Century
No team in recent memory has made such an impressive run to start a season

Sox Regular Season Slide Continues
Around .500 since last September, organization and fans settle for failure

whitesoxwin
06-05-2006, 10:14 AM
Cubs almost Sweep Cards!!
Wristband drawing for tickets to Cubbie's inevitable 2006 NLDS playoff games to be held Friday
Sox Done!!
Spiral to Hell will fullfill prophecy beginning
6-6-6

Doomed to lose.....Ozzy refuses to allow Priest's Exorcism of A.J.

"He's the devil!"...exclaimed the Priest (who wished to remain anonymous)

jackbrohamer
06-05-2006, 11:06 AM
TWINS CATCHER ACHIEVES GREATNESS!
Mauer's .355 Avg. After 9 Weeks Ranks Him With Berra, Campanella, Bench Among Best Receivers Ever

SULLIVAN: SOX' CATCHER'S ACT REMAINS OLD
Pierzynski Batting A Paltry .326 In June; Bat Fails To Justify Attack On Barrett, Cancer In Clubhouse, Dirty Plays In '05 Postseason

VenturaSoxFan23
06-05-2006, 11:12 AM
White Sox Winless in Games they have Lost!
Morrisey explains why the Sox are 0-22 in the games they have lost.



:kneeslap:

Hitmen77
06-05-2006, 10:29 PM
Cubs Make History By Beating Astros!
- Zambrano's Gem is most memorable Chicago victory in Houston in years.

- Sox host Tigers tomorrow in series between two teams with bad attendance.

Paul Sullivan: A look back at how Magglio Ordonez almost signed with the Cubs.

IlliniSox4Life
06-06-2006, 02:49 AM
HOLY **** ZAMBRANO THREW A NO-NO INTO THE EIGHTH

LIKE ALL HITTERS* ZAMBRANO FACES, SOX DON'T GET A HIT TODAY EITHER**


*except one
**they didn't play

downstairs
06-06-2006, 11:39 AM
South Side Collapse!

Our expers analyze:
If season ended today, and the White Sox had a losing record against the powerful, surging Yankees, and Boston also wins their division, the White Sox would not make the playoffs, thus bringing a close to their 1-year lucky streak.


Cubs Playoff Scenarios

Our expers analyze:
With the collapse of St. Louis, and Clemens back in Houston, Astros will win NL Central. With late season collapses by the Dodgers, the Giants, the Padres, the Phillies, the Braves, the Rockies, the Brewers, and the Nationals, Cubs will regain rightful Wild Card Championship.

SOXPHILE
06-06-2006, 11:53 AM
He's just like Moonlight Graham !
Former Cub star Adam Greenberg life mirrors legendary player immortalized in Field of Dreams

-He deserves another chance; HOF career awaits

-What future actor will play him in a movie 20 years from now documenting Cubs return to prominence in 2006 ?*

* Oh, wait, see the FRONT section of today's Cubune.

IlliniSox4Life
06-06-2006, 11:03 PM
COMING SOON
TO A THEATER NEAR YOU

6/6/6
Alex Sintron Makes
A Deal With the Devil
in


https://netfiles.uiuc.edu/kshanks2/Uribaby.JPG

gobears1987
06-07-2006, 12:05 AM
Cubs Draft Lifelong Cub Fan
Sullivan- He's from the area so he must be a Cub fan.*

*Jeff Samardzija is actually a Sox fan

eriqjaffe
06-07-2006, 08:12 AM
Wood Leaves Game In 4th Inning
Not Due To Injury, Therefore It's Newsworthy

Fireworks Annoy Bridgeport, Bronzeville - Page 4

SOXPHILE
06-07-2006, 10:12 AM
Backup Blues
Sox must rely on backup shortstop to help them eek by Tigers.

-Uribe's absence from team may further damage clubhouse chemistry already on edge

-Plus, Paul Sullivan takes a look at tigers, condors, blue whales, and other endangered species around the world that the White Sox have shown indifference, and outright cruelty towards.


What Cubs game ? There was no Cubs game. Oh, there was ? Due to the late start, we don't have results yet. Wood Solid through 1.

thomas35forever
06-07-2006, 10:13 PM
Cintron's deal with devil continues
Misplay by Gomez obviously the work of Lucifer himself. How long will it be before he collects his client?

TornLabrum
06-07-2006, 10:24 PM
Cubs win one-run game

Bat one more time than 'Stros

Sox lose one-run game

Outhit by Tigers 9-8

Hitmen77
06-07-2006, 10:58 PM
Kerry Wood, Kerry Wood, Kerry Wood!!
- He's hurt again - and that's the biggest baseball story in Chicago.

Pg 3: Chicago (AL) barely wins for 2nd night in a row. Lucky to face Tigers while Detroit is slumping.

Somber Slugger
- Our investigation reveals that Paul "$12 million/year" Konerko ranks a disappointing 3rd in HRs on his own team. Are his days with the Sox numbered?

digdagdug23
06-07-2006, 11:01 PM
COMING SOON
TO A THEATER NEAR YOU

6/6/6
Alex Sintron Makes
A Deal With the Devil
in


https://netfiles.uiuc.edu/kshanks2/Uribaby.JPG



:rolling: :rolling: :rolling: :rolling:

Now THAT is funny.

TommyJohn
06-08-2006, 07:23 AM
Grim Reaper
Jason Grimsley names names
How many White Sox took HGH? Our crack team investigates

Sullivan: Top 10 White Sox moments most likely done under influence of HGH

CHEESESOXER
06-08-2006, 08:06 AM
Best Sox secretly cause rainstorm on east coast so OUR teams could not be shown.
We at espn will file an official complaint with the weather service and cheer for the flubs.:whiner:

Deuce
06-08-2006, 08:17 AM
Sox Don't Lose Again, But They Will!
...and we have a slew of headlines ready for when they do.

Dan Mega
06-08-2006, 08:40 AM
SOX: DRUGS?
SOX: DRUGS!
SOX: DRUGS.
Oh, and the Sox won last night**

**Oh wait a second, 3 of the 4 stories in the Cubune this morning about the Sox relate the team to drug usage!

Hitmen77
06-08-2006, 08:56 AM
**Oh wait a second, 3 of the 4 stories in the Cubune this morning about the Sox relate the team to drug usage!

Yeah, I was going to post the same thing:


Drug Revelations Enrage Sox

this is a real headline on the Trib's website. Is it me, or does this make it sound like the drug revelations were about the Sox?:?: Maybe the headline should read like this:

Drug Revelations by a player on another team, about other players on other teams Enrage Sox

White Sox Randy
06-08-2006, 09:01 AM
COMING SOON
TO A THEATER NEAR YOU

6/6/6
Alex Sintron Makes
A Deal With the Devil
in


https://netfiles.uiuc.edu/kshanks2/Uribaby.JPG




OUTSTANDING !

Sox83Kid
06-08-2006, 09:39 AM
COMING SOON
TO A THEATER NEAR YOU

6/6/6
Alex Sintron Makes
A Deal With the Devil
in


https://netfiles.uiuc.edu/kshanks2/Uribaby.JPG




:kneeslap:

SOXPHILE
06-08-2006, 09:46 AM
Soccer Soccer Soccer !
Even though most people in this country don't really care, we're going all out, with wall to wall, full color photos and pull out sections, to educate you ignorant masses on why you SHOULD !

Another strong outing for Cubs rookie
-Young phenom Marshall tosses 7 strong innings of 3 hit, 1 run ball. Cubs head into Cincy on high note.

Squeaky Sox
-For 2nd straight night, White Sox barely squeak by struggling Tigers

Back Page: Our guy goes one on one with the locker room attendant for the Chicago Sky, as she tells him why she thinks this is their year.

whitesoxwin
06-08-2006, 11:50 AM
Tribune offers deal to buy Sox

Not Really, but this will really sell some papers!!!

FielderJones
06-09-2006, 03:41 PM
Somber Earnings linky (http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20060609/us_nm/media_newspapers_research_dc_1)
Circulation, advertising revenue down.

Morrisey: maybe we should stay in the sports business - it pays the bills.

thomas35forever
06-10-2006, 06:43 PM
Tribune Co. May Have to Sell WGN-TV*
Are low ratings for Sox games to blame? Our Tribune panel discusses this matter.
*-Actual story in yesterday's Sun-Times

CHEESESOXER
06-10-2006, 06:45 PM
Last two days event prove that those from south are anti
Native American.

MarySwiss
06-10-2006, 07:10 PM
Back Page: Our guy goes one on one with the locker room attendant for the Chicago Sky, as she tells him why she thinks this is their year.
Hello? Can we please just stop the Chicago Sky bashing? They have done nothing to deserve it.

Chips
06-10-2006, 07:15 PM
Hello? Can we please just stop the Chicago Sky bashing? They have done nothing to deserve it.

They're a ****ing WBNA team.

And they suck.

MarySwiss
06-10-2006, 07:24 PM
They're a ****ing WBNA team.

And they suck.

Chips: If you had begun your post with "And they suck," that would have been fine. But you didn't.

Pardon me all to hell, but women do not need your permission to, well, to do anything!

Grow the hell up!

The Dude
06-10-2006, 07:55 PM
Hello? Can we please just stop the Chicago Sky bashing? They have done nothing to deserve it.
They are about as useless as the Chicago - Fire, Rush, Wolves, and Storm to most people. I don't think because they are women has anything to do with it--- if that's where you're going with this post.:smile:

thomas35forever
06-10-2006, 08:02 PM
They are about as useless as the Chicago - Fire, Rush, Wolves, and Storm to most people. I don't think because they are women has anything to do with it--- if that's where you're going with this post.:smile:
Hey, I happen to be a big Wolves fan. They're more fun to watch than the Blackhawks. I'm also very partial to the Rush.

The Dude
06-10-2006, 08:17 PM
Hey, I happen to be a big Wolves fan. They're more fun to watch than the Blackhawks. I'm also very partial to the Rush.

Well thats why i used the word MOST people. I understand there are fans of all those teams out there, but most people could care less.....ala our Rush poll in the Parking lot.

Chips
06-10-2006, 08:18 PM
Well thats why i used the word MOST people. I understand there are fans of all those teams out there, but most people could care less.....ala our Rush poll in the Parking lot.

10 bucks or a Rush victory. It was split pretty evenly.

The Dude
06-10-2006, 08:33 PM
10 bucks or a Rush victory. It was split pretty evenly.

Well when i had first looked it was like 15-5 for the $10

HebrewHammer
06-10-2006, 08:40 PM
Hello? Can we please just stop the Chicago Sky bashing? They have done nothing to deserve it.

I really don't see how the post that you quoted was Sky bashing, but the fact that another WNBA was forced down the throats of the NBA fans is reason enough to bash them.

Chips
06-10-2006, 08:43 PM
I really don't see how the post that you quoted was Sky bashing, but the fact that another WNBA was forced down the throats of the NBA fans is reason enough to bash them.
:thumbsup:

GoSox2K3
06-10-2006, 11:05 PM
Fire Opens New Stadium in Bridgeview.
- Finally, a landmark the South Side can be proud of!!!***


***oops, a quote in this Tribune article actually says this.

http://chicagosports.chicagotribune.com/sports/soccer/chi-0606090161jun09,1,187333.story?coll=cs-soccer-print

pdr
06-12-2006, 07:59 AM
RUSH WINS ARENA BOWL
First Pro Champs In Chicago Since 1998

zmz723
06-12-2006, 08:36 AM
"This is the first time the South and Southwest Sides have a landmark we can be proud of since Midway Airport,"

http://chicagosports.chicagotribune....s-soccer-print (http://chicagosports.chicagotribune.com/sports/soccer/chi-0606090161jun09,1,187333.story?coll=cs-soccer-print) :?:

eriqjaffe
06-12-2006, 08:53 AM
Toyota Park Opens To Rave Reviews
Corporate Sponsorship, Blue Seats Bring Much-Needed Touch Of Class To South Side

miker
06-12-2006, 09:34 AM
They are about as useless as the Chicago - Fire, Rush, Wolves, and Storm to most people. I don't think because they are women has anything to do with it--- if that's where you're going with this post.:smile:
So only the really popular teams count? Boy, are you sure you aren't a Cub fan, because you really sound like one!

CHEESESOXER
06-12-2006, 09:50 AM
"This is the first time the South and Southwest Sides have a landmark we can be proud of since Midway Airport," :?:

What about Sliderville at Harlem & Ogden??:D:

Hitmen77
06-12-2006, 02:14 PM
Toyota Park Opens For Soccer Fans
- Finally, a sports facility for the South Side where fans don't attack coaches.

Back page: South Siders proud to finally have facility of their own that's not enveloped in pot smoke.

eriqjaffe
06-12-2006, 03:56 PM
South Side Pride
Finally, an sporting venue on the South Side with a fan base well-known not to be prone to hooliganism.

Remember when that guy smacked Craig Biggio's wife? We do, see pages 4-6.

kraut83
06-13-2006, 07:30 AM
Contreras Can't Get Wood!
Pitcher falls 9 strikeouts short of Kid K's greatest game ever pitched. Remember cubbie fans??? This was just a couple years ago. Remember?!?!?

*Chicago (AL) squeaks by Texas 8-3.

SOXPHILE
06-13-2006, 12:25 PM
For Cubs: Future is NOW !
Cubs win again, as they will use wireless phones for Tuesday's game

-Team has history of thinking ahead, trend setting, writes Paul Sullivan.
-Lights for "night games" in 1988
-Putting player names on back of uniforms
-Keeping tradition by not having names on back of uniforms
-Started 7th inning stretch sing-along in 1982
-Installing "sky boxes" in late 1980's
-Re-furbished bleachers give park "retro" look; others follow suit
What's next for team that's class of MLB ?


Sox escape 5th inning Ranger rally

-As outlaw Sox play Texas Rangers, a Tribune investigation asks, are team and unruly fans responsible for death of beloved Lone Texas Ranger, Clayton Moore ?

SOXPHILE
06-14-2006, 10:23 AM
Victory at Wrigley
New technology a success, as Cubs able to call bullpen over 4 times using wireless phones
-Latest futuristic, technological, world shaking event at Friendly Confines on par with 1962 Telstar broadcast, 1988 night game.

Final game results unavailable at time of printing

Mark Prior ! Mark Prior ! Mark Prior ! Wade Miller ! Wade Miller ! Mark Prior ! They're coming ! They're on the way !!

Struggle in Texas: White Sox battle heat, & themselves, with 3 fielding gaffes; Garland fails to make it through 6th.

miker
06-14-2006, 10:31 AM
Where Are the Fans?
Ameriquest Field in Texas nearly empty for "World Champions"

Baseball Shrine Packed To The Rafters
Over 40,000 watch baseball history as Cubs invent wireless phones

DaleJRFan
06-14-2006, 10:39 AM
Where Are the Fans?
Ameriquest Field in Texas nearly empty for "World Champions"

ya know, I was actually wondering that myself watching the game on TV. Where's all the fans? The Rangers are in first place. When I lived in Dallas, the stadium was almost always full. Guess people don't care about baseball in Dallas anymore???

Hitmen77
06-14-2006, 10:46 AM
Breaking News: Cubs Replace Bullpen Phones with NEXTEL Cell Phones in Walter E. Smith Dugouts!!!!
- Team reportedly got idea from Wrigley fans who spend entire game on cell phone.
- This stunning use of technology to talk to someone 15 feet away is Chicago's baseball story of the year.
- Cubs parnterships with Nextel, Budweiser, etc. is win-win situtation for all and helps Wrigley to be heaven on earth!

Chicago Rush Plan Arean Bowl Championship Rally in Grant Park this Friday. Thanks to Cub fans, huge crowd expected. Proof that the Cubs own this town!!


Editorial: White Sox Cell-out!
- Corporate sponsorship abounds at US Cell-Your-Soul Field, Ruins Experience for Fans.
- Chicagoans not interested in selling out to corporate sponsorship for a world series trophy.

WizardsofOzzie
06-14-2006, 11:14 AM
- Team reportedly got idea from Wrigley fans who spend entire game on cell phone.


:roflmao::roflmao::roflmao:

MushMouth
06-14-2006, 11:17 AM
ya know, I was actually wondering that myself watching the game on TV. Where's all the fans? The Rangers are in first place. When I lived in Dallas, the stadium was almost always full. Guess people don't care about baseball in Dallas anymore???

Last night, the Mavs were playing the Heat in the NBA Finals. People at home watching on TV.

Dan Mega
06-14-2006, 11:25 AM
Last night, the Mavs were playing the Heat in the NBA Finals. People at home watching on TV.

I agree. Every Rangers fan I've met is loyal and rabid about their team. But Dallas fans have waited a looooooong time to watch the Mavs in the finals.

SOX LA Mikey
06-14-2006, 12:05 PM
MARK PRIOR SUPERSTAR
Annointed King of Mardi Gras
News of his reMARKable performance Sweeps Bourbon Street

IA_soxfan
06-14-2006, 12:17 PM
JUICING JON?
Sox Starter's Lack of the Long Ball a Somber Sign

Sullivan: What More Proof do we Need?
Gonzales: HgH Just Popular with Sox Players

thomas35forever
06-14-2006, 04:22 PM
Prior gem in New Orleans has been the best consolation from Hurricane Katrina
Local papers cover story in 20-page pullout sections, identical to our coverage of the best pitching performance by a Chicago pitcher since Kerry Wood's 20 strikeouts.

White Sox squeak by Texas p. 25

DaleJRFan
06-14-2006, 05:45 PM
Last night, the Mavs were playing the Heat in the NBA Finals. People at home watching on TV.

...do I feel stupid! DUH!

soxwon
06-14-2006, 10:13 PM
Victory at Wrigley
New technology a success, as Cubs able to call bullpen over 4 times using wireless phones
-Latest futuristic, technological, world shaking event at Friendly Confines on par with 1962 Telstar broadcast, 1988 night game.

Final game results unavailable at time of printing

Mark Prior ! Mark Prior ! Mark Prior ! Wade Miller ! Wade Miller ! Mark Prior ! They're coming ! They're on the way !!

Struggle in Texas: White Sox battle heat, & themselves, with 3 fielding gaffes; Garland fails to make it through 6th.



CUBS GET WEBSITE BACK !!!
FINALLY PUT 3 WWW IN A ROW!!!

Dan Mega
06-15-2006, 09:09 AM
RANGERS DESTROY SOX!
Sullivan: Vasquez- Overrated? Latest polls say, yes, yes he is!
Mitchell: Classless Blizzard of Oz up to his old trickery.
Zorn: The 10 worst moments of Sean Tracey's career

Jurr
06-15-2006, 09:13 AM
SOX CONTINUE SLUMP
Pierzynski causes trouble again in 8-0 loss.

CUBS BEGIN TO HEAT UP, CLOSING IN ON DIVISION TITLE!
"We was just sandbagging", says Baker.

miker
06-15-2006, 01:11 PM
Azzi Al-Guillen Orders Hit On Innocent Ranger
Then Humiliates Pitcher When Mission Fails

How Dusty Would Of Handled The Texas Shootout
Well-respected "player's manager" would have compassion for rookie pitcher

Barrett To Avoid Suspension
Cub Catcher to Receive Papal Pardon, Classless Sox Clown Got What He Deserved Last Night

Dan Mega
06-15-2006, 01:25 PM
WITH RECENT TRADE, SOX TAKING HUGE RISKe

Hitmen77
06-15-2006, 02:01 PM
Pierzynski Gets What's Coming to Him!
- Violent Sox fan base screams for blood of Rangers players after South Siders trigger bean ball war.
Sullivan: Overnight, Padilla has become the Texas Rangers' newest folk hero. Do I condone hitting batters? No. But, you have to admire Padilla standing up for himself and what he believes is right. As we all know, AJ's "Why Me?" act is growing old.

Javier Vazquez fails to retaliate, rage-filled Guillen and Williams respond by sending him off to Boston for a reliever with a bad back.

Hawk Harrelson goes nuts in TV booth after AJ's latest trouble-making incident.
- 7 second delay to be installed for tonight's game to prevent profanity-laden tirade if AJ makes more trouble.


Poll: How should MLB crackdown on White Sox for repeated hit-batsmen incidences?

IlliniSox4Life
06-15-2006, 02:04 PM
Azzi Al-Guillen Orders Hit On Innocent Ranger



:kneeslap::kneeslap::kneeslap::kneeslap:

pdr
06-16-2006, 08:25 AM
Sox Return to Scene of Crime

Morrissey: "TONIGHT WE'RE GONNA PARTY LIKE IT'S 1919"

McGrath: Screw the rest of the news, we're all over this like a bad suit

Deuce
06-16-2006, 11:12 AM
White Sox Fans Commit Suicide over Cubs/Tigers Series
-Cubs obsessed Sox fans rather die than root for north Chicago's favorite team against 1.5 game division leading Tigers
-Coroner: "There simply weren't enough Sox fans out there to officially call it a 'mass' suicide... go Cubs!"

SOXPHILE
06-16-2006, 11:13 AM
Wild Card race heats up
Cubs chances at post-season continue to increase
NL Wildcard Standings

W L GB

Cincinnati 37 29 -
Arizona 35 31 2
Houston 35 32 2.5
Colorado 34 32 3
San Diego 34 32 3
San Francisco 34 32 3
Philadelphia 33 33 4
Milwaukee 32 35 5.5
Atlanta 30 37 7.5
Washington 30 38 8
Florida 26 37 9.5
Cubs 26 39 10.5



Texas Trouble
Buehrle fails to complete game, Gload & Mackowiak go hitless as Rangers pound out 6 hits

1919 REVISITED
Images & memories of the "Black Sox" scandal haunt current team as they return to the scene of the crime

-How will team cope, and can we expect the same results ?
-A look back at this, and other dark moments in the muddied history of the White Sox -Dan McGrath and Rick Morrisey contributing

The Racehorse
06-17-2006, 08:09 AM
TIGER MISSES CUT!
Sox fans distract the great golfer, ala Happy Gilmore

The Racehorse
06-17-2006, 08:11 AM
Sox Return to Scene of Crime

"TONIGHT WE'RE GONNA PARTY LIKE IT'S 1919"

LOL... dang, I wish I'd thought of that. :cool: