View Full Version : Where Is the Love for...MY PULL POWER?"

1 Dog
05-20-2006, 02:57 PM
Well, I figured if Hangar 18 can have a regular feature here at “What’s the Score?,” why not lil’ old me?

I recently discovered a hilarious feature at Yard Work that I missed last year.


Basically, Yard Work featured “Where Is the Love for...” articles allegedly by Hee Sop Choi. Choi was really screwed over by Jim Tracy, and the series charted Choi’s odyssey and a Korean player’s observations on life in the MLB. (Be sure to read “Where Is the Love for...MY UNTORN GROIN?,” a classic.)

At any rate, I ran into this while I was thinking if the White Sox ought to consider hitting Tadahito lower in the order sometimes. Just an idle thought really, since he was in the doldrums last week. An obligatory “say his name right” thread was posted at about the same time.

So we now have a new weekly feature: “Where Is the Love For...?”
the Tadahito Iguchi edition. I hope you enjoy. If not, please do not alert Iguchi-san’s legal team.

1 Dog
05-20-2006, 03:03 PM
The Great Sensei Miyamoto Musashi writes in The Book of Five Rings:

Other Schools Using Extra-Long Swords

“Some other schools have a liking for extra-long swords. From the point of view of my strategy these must be seen as weak schools. This is because they do not appreciate the principle of cutting the enemy by any means. Their preference is for the extra-long sword and, relying on the virtue of its length, they think to defeat the enemy from a distance.

In this world it is said, "One inch gives the hand advantage", but these are the idle words of one who does not know strategy. It shows the inferior strategy of a weak sprit that men should be dependant on the length of their sword, fighting from a distance without the benefit of strategy.
I expect there is a case for the school in question liking extra-long swords as part of it's doctrine, but if we compare this with real life it is unreasonable. Surely we need not necessarily be defeated if we are using a short sword, and have no long sword?”

Needless to say friends and loyal Silver and Black, I, your humble servant, Iguchi-Tadahito, chose my text before the recent events of Saturday. As you may recall, I struck the ball with great authority in our glorious humiliation of the running-dogs from the North.

However, my individual achievements mean little if our team cannot smite divisional foes. I was thinking of that AL club from a certain city ground under the heel of the Japanese worker. (Just to avoid confusion, I mean Detroit. Gary does not have AL club, but I digress...)

I was planning to write on above-referenced AL central rival and their reliance on extra-long swords. In fact, I have even garnered quotes from Oh-san on the need for a dynamic approach to the ki of scoring runs in bunches. However, dear friends of the South, I must save this
for another week. (Let’s face it, I am hoping it will be, as you say in this country, “yesterday’s news” by next week.)

Now I must ask, “Where is the Love for...MY PULL POWER?”

As Silver and Black know already, there is no “I” in “TEAM.” In Japanese baseball, there is no “I” whatsoever. (No doubt, this is because the Japanese language does not use the Roman alphabet.) At any rate, I must take this opportunity to address certain announcers, who are no doubt closet racists, I fear.

Generally speaking, a second place hitter is asked to give up “productive outs.” Where a second place hitter strikes the ball is often more important than hitting a line drive. As even the most challenged Japanese child knows, hitting to the opposite field is a skill, not a sign of kamikaze-like frenzy. When certain announcers from the North imply I have no pull power, naturally, I am filled with shame. Always looking to interests of the TEAM first, what could I, Iguchi-Tadahito, do? Clearly, I must avenge our honor. I hope Silver and Black have appreciated my atonement. Karma is a bitch.

While I am on the subject of ignorant, jingoistic announcers, I might add, “Joe Morgan, Where Is the Love for MY COUNTRY?” This topic deserves a multi-part series of its own, being more documented than the U.S. embargo of 1940. Let me say for now just this. “Morgan-san, did I keep Josh Gibson out of American baseball? Morgan-san, did I bomb Pearl Harbor? Morgan-san, I do not blame you for Hiroshima. I know you were too busy 'playing hard every day' to pilot a bomber. So, where is the love?”

Until next week, loyal Silver and Black.

Coming Soon: The Importance of Both Short Swords and Extra-Long Swords or How My Philosophy Adapted to Change After Multi-HR Game.

05-20-2006, 03:12 PM

05-20-2006, 06:51 PM

05-20-2006, 06:53 PM
Eh, not "What's the Score?" More like "What the ****?"


05-20-2006, 07:04 PM
Eh, not "What's the Score?" More like "What the ****?"


What the **** is right? :?::kukoo::nuts:

05-20-2006, 08:50 PM
I think you have to earn a feature, not force one down throats.

05-20-2006, 08:54 PM
You are not Tadahito Iguchi. We all give Gooch plenty of love.

05-20-2006, 10:20 PM
Crack is a hell of a drug.

05-20-2006, 11:08 PM
Crack is a hell of a drug.

Crack kills. Turkey fills.


05-21-2006, 12:29 AM
I've been so lost from the start of this, I don't know what to say. Uh...go Sox...or something like that.

05-21-2006, 06:53 AM
This makes no sense, I want my 2 mins back.

05-21-2006, 07:05 PM
:duel:Swords? What?

"Will the real Tadahito Iguchi please stand up?"