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View Full Version : Onion: Pierzynski Predicts He Will Lead League in Offensiveness


A. Cavatica
03-30-2006, 04:38 PM
:redneck

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/46905

MsSoxVixen22
03-30-2006, 04:43 PM
Thanks for posting the article! After reading articles like that, it make me thank my lucky stars we have AJ on our team!:bandance: Yeah, he's a self described jackass but deep down he's a good guy.

MarySwiss
03-30-2006, 04:45 PM
:redneck

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/46905

I usually love the Onion, but I did not find this piece particularly amusing. Not because it lampooned a Sox player; based on the title, it had a lot of potential, but it just wasn't all that funny. (Kind of like Liar, Liar! the Jim Carrey movie that could have been a lot funnier without Carrey's eternal over-the-top mugging.)

Hey, Onion! You need some new writers!

IlliniSox4Life
03-30-2006, 04:48 PM
Yeah, he's a self described jackass but deep down he's a good guy.

Exactly. He may be a jackass, but he's our jackass.

maurice
03-30-2006, 05:00 PM
IMHO, this (http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=15363036) is funnier, especially "AJ's" 'blog. Some snippets:

Don't give up and lie to the ump....that's my motto.

If you combined all three Angel catchers into one super catcher with all of their abilities mixed into one, I'd still be better than that guy.

Iguchi doesn't know the season's over yet. Nobody's going to tell him.

Yesterday we beat the Red Sox. I hate those guys. Every single one of em. Except Olerud, he's a good euchre partner.

Chris Berman is a son of a bitch.

If Adkins blows it one more time, I'm gonna personally send him back down. Damn kid shakes my signs like its his job.

I'd like to thank Zack Greinke for pitching to me.

Travis Hafner and all of his cronies were in the same bar. Travis comes up to me and says, "Hey Pierzynski, why don't you take your .230 batting average back to goddamn Chicago!" Now I wasn't looking for a fight, so I replied, "Hey, come on now Travis, we're all friends here....and its .250 you lumberjack son of a bitch." Thinking back, I guess I shouldn't have called him a lumberjack son of a bitch, but what can you do?

Its becoming more and more obvious that I'm the best player in the league. I can tell my teammates are gettin sorta jealous, which isn't good for the playoff push. So I'm starting to wonder if I should stop being so good to boost morale. Who knows...

A. Cavatica
03-30-2006, 05:30 PM
I usually love the Onion, but I did not find this piece particularly amusing. Not because it lampooned a Sox player; based on the title, it had a lot of potential, but it just wasn't all that funny. (Kind of like Liar, Liar! the Jim Carrey movie that could have been a lot funnier without Carrey's eternal over-the-top mugging.)

Hey, Onion! You need some new writers!

I had the same reaction. The myspace blog (which I sure hope is a parody) is funny.

IlliniSox4Life
03-30-2006, 05:52 PM
I had the same reaction. The myspace blog (which I sure hope is a parody) is funny.

It's definately a parody. I can't believe people's comments though, they have to think it was serious. People were actually getting so mad at him in the comments section, I had to stop and think to myself "could this actually be real?".

Then I saw this:
" Currently listening:
Metamorphosis (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/B0000AGWES/myspace08-20?dev-t=D2WQY839001DMT%26camp=2025%26link_code=xm2)
By Hilary Duff
Release date: By 26 August, 2003"

Lorenzo Barcelo
03-30-2006, 06:54 PM
IMHO, this (http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=15363036) is funnier, especially "AJ's" 'blog. Some snippets:

That is clearly not his own blog.