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Chip Z'nuff
03-22-2006, 09:47 AM
What a train wreck! This is hillarious! The title is Play tour guide (http://www.chicagotribune.com/sports/baseball/cubs/cs-wrigleyguideboard,1,5629705.graffitiboard?coll=chi-rightgallery-fea) for fellow cub fans. my favorite comment is

"First, if you're a guy, wear jean shorts (and if it's hot, a tank top - but only if you have a hairy back). Once inside, get blind drunk and argue with the people around you because you disagree with the 7th being last call. Then get thrown out and brag to your friends about how cool you are."

itsnotrequired
03-22-2006, 10:11 AM
Lots of good ones on there:

Sun tan oil for day games is a must, especially if sitting in the bleachers. Not only will it get you bronzed instead of burned, it works as a great conversation starter with the hotties in your section (i.e., "you might want to put some of this on, can I help you with that?")
Submitted by: Stud Muffin


:roflmao:

Clembasbal
03-22-2006, 10:25 AM
5. Don't stand in front of people while you are looking for your seat and blocking their view of the game. Fans at Wrigley actually like watching the game! Wait until thre's a break in the action before you go to your seat.
Submitted by: Mike
9:01 AM CST, Mar 22, 2006:tealpolice:

SOXPHILE
03-22-2006, 10:30 AM
Some more "priceless" ones.....

34. Join in and shake your booty to "YMCA" when they play it between innings. Its as much a tradition as "Take me out to the ballgame."
Submitted by: Woody's Curve


. Ditto to the fan you suggested bringing in cheese, crackers, and fruit. I go gourmet all the way with sushi and other finger food delites, and sneak in fine wine in old plastic bottles of suntan lotion. Cub fans need not live on beer and dogs alone!
Submitted by: Cosmopolitan Cubbie


Bring your cell phone and keep an eye open for the WGN cameras. If lucky, you can wave and talk to friends all over the country who are watching on TV.
Submitted by: Julie Schye


I swear, we're not making this stuff up folks !

MarySwiss
03-22-2006, 10:43 AM
I have never gotten and will never get the obsession these people have with Old Style. IMO, that just might be the worst beer ever brewed. I'd rather drink Pabst, for heaven's sake!

South Side Irish
03-22-2006, 10:46 AM
1. Drink Old Style, not the beer that owns the Cardinals. 2. When finding your seat, Wrigley Field has AISLES, not sections. Find your ailse number walk up to the row. The 2 digit seat numbers are on one side of the aisle, the 3 digit numbered seats are on the other side of the aisle.
Submitted by: dwight
8:10 AM CST, Mar 22, 2006

Does Mr. Shrute realize that Old Style's nasty, especially warm? Or even better, that A-B does not own the Cardinals. Freakin idiots, they all are. :D:

South Side Irish
03-22-2006, 10:47 AM
I have never gotten and will never get the obsession these people have with Old Style. IMO, that just might be the worst beer ever brewed. I'd rather drink Pabst, for heaven's sake!

I actually like PBR, and I'm not talking about bull-riding. :gulp:

ChiSoxGirl
03-22-2006, 10:55 AM
OK, fess up. Who from WSI posted this?

54. Never drive ... always take the train ... Get on the train ... When it stops at Addison, stay on the train and take it to 35th Street and then get off. On the field you will see a team that was BUILT TO WIN. 1908 was a good year.
Submitted by: Bub McBub

:roflmao: :thumbsup: :bandance:

SOXPHILE
03-22-2006, 10:57 AM
I have never gotten and will never get the obsession these people have with Old Style. IMO, that just might be the worst beer ever brewed. I'd rather drink Pabst, for heaven's sake!

The words Old Style and. Beer should never appear in the same sentence. I don't get it either. That stuff is wretched. It's like the first beer someone might sneak a sip of when they're 11 years old, and they think that's cool. But wow, once you get a little older and wiser about beer, you realize what weak, pee water that stuff is. There's alot of variations on it's name we have for it, but I won't post them here. :redface: We know what they are anyway.

viagracat
03-22-2006, 11:06 AM
The words Old Style and. Beer should never appear in the same sentence. I don't get it either. That stuff is wretched. It's like the first beer someone might sneak a sip of when they're 11 years old, and they think that's cool. But wow, once you get a little older and wiser about beer, you realize what weak, pee water that stuff is. There's alot of variations on it's name we have for it, but I won't post them here. :redface: We know what they are anyway.

We call it "Doggie Style" :cool:

mjharrison72
03-22-2006, 11:11 AM
79. First stop, 7-11 where you buy a Super Big Gulp and a 40 oz of Bud Light. When you get outside, dump your soda out and fill cup with beer. Wrigley lets you bring the cup in...you save about $20 right there!
Submitted by: Billy H
3:26 PM CST, Mar 15, 2006

Isn't it such a shame that U.S. Cellular doesn't have "neighborhood" amenities like a 7-11 to facilitate smuggling booze into the stadium?

Any good Sox fan knows the traveling flask of whiskey is the way to go, anyway. :cool:

miker
03-22-2006, 11:14 AM
Oh my, it looks like some of them have noticed the emperor is wearing no clothes:

20. Go to Wrigley if you feel upper management is committed to winning. If you don't feel like they are...do all of us true Cubs fans a favor and stay home. It looks like I might stay home this year.

Not that this will keep any of the sheep away...

Railsplitter
03-22-2006, 11:26 AM
I have never gotten and will never get the obsession these people have with Old Style. IMO, that just might be the worst beer ever brewed. I'd rather drink Pabst, for heaven's sake!

Kreausen rhymes with poison. Jeeze, I figured that one out when I was five!

Chrisaway
03-22-2006, 11:33 AM
I submitted one.

"When you get there, immediately plug your nose to avoid the strong smell of urine in the park."

I doubt itll get up there.:redneck

RedHeadPaleHoser
03-22-2006, 11:52 AM
Here's mine.

Go to Wrigley - in October, it's never crowded. Then, board the Red Line and head to Sox-35th to see a World Series Banner.

Ol' No. 2
03-22-2006, 12:03 PM
I have never gotten and will never get the obsession these people have with Old Style. IMO, that just might be the worst beer ever brewed. I'd rather drink Pabst, for heaven's sake!These are the same people who used to love Budweiser. :puking:

Dan Mega
03-22-2006, 12:03 PM
Alright, who here posted this?:D:

2. If you are there to see Wood or Prior Pitch be sure to get there at 8am, or possibly even an off day when the simulation games are held.
Submitted by: Dustin M.
11:06 AM CST, Mar 22, 2006

Hawkeroo1980
03-22-2006, 12:16 PM
Here's mine.

Go to Wrigley - in October, it's never crowded. Then, board the Red Line and head to Sox-35th to see a World Series Banner.

NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Keep them at home---- We can't afford them ruining our REAL baseball experience.

I submitted about five---one under the name "Billy" and one under the name "James". Lets see if they get up

Hangar18
03-22-2006, 12:35 PM
Take the El to Addison. First things first, get yourself some Cub gear at wrigleyville sports like a cool Wrigley Field tshirt or celebrate Chicagos last REAL championship, the 1998 wild-card Champs with a tshirt commemorating that historic event. Go to the Harry statue and take a picture with the long-time cub announcer. Walk inside and if daring, take the hat of the opposing teams player. Otherwise, get on your cellphone and look for the redlite of cameras and smile, your on WGN.

About the 7th inning, beat the rush and head over to Murphys or the Cubby Bear for more cold Budweisers. Cant beat fun at the old ballpark!

CaptainBallz
03-22-2006, 01:00 PM
"If you catch a home run ball, DO NOT throw it back onto the field. It's incredibly juvenile and in bad taste. Give it to a youngster sitting near you for a nice souvenir."

Hawkeroo1980
03-22-2006, 01:10 PM
Take the El to Addison. First things first, get yourself some Cub gear at wrigleyville sports like a cool Wrigley Field tshirt or celebrate Chicagos last REAL championship, the 1998 wild-card Champs with a tshirt commemorating that historic event. Go to the Harry statue and take a picture with the long-time cub announcer. Walk inside and if daring, take the hat of the opposing teams player. Otherwise, get on your cellphone and look for the redlite of cameras and smile, your on WGN.

About the 7th inning, beat the rush and head over to Murphys or the Cubby Bear for more cold Budweisers. Cant beat fun at the old ballpark!

meet up at Murphy's Bleachers for $7 cans of Old Style at around 11:00 am. Be sure not to spill any beer on your sweet Gracie jersey. Enter the crumbling confines and immediatly grab a beer-soaked "hebrew national" dog and go sit behind a pole. Make sure to bring plenty of paper and a sharpie so you can draw cute little "K"s and tape them up for Carrie Woods. (bring about 4 sheets of paper)

After about your 8th Old Style, start eyeing down a john because that pee-water will give you the uncontrolable cramps. Then make sure you leave in advance to get a stool over at John Barleycorn just in time to sing Kelly Clarkson Karaoke with some fellow cubbie fans. After your $275 tab, hop on the "L" and goto a sox game, hammered of course, and run on the field and attack an umpire. Also, don't sound too intelligent.....after all---don't want anyone to think you're a Sox fan! :gulp:

FedEx227
03-22-2006, 01:12 PM
I have never gotten and will never get the obsession these people have with Old Style. IMO, that just might be the worst beer ever brewed. I'd rather drink Pabst, for heaven's sake!

It has much to do with a Family Guy quote:

"So its agreed, we'll keep on pretending to like Pigs Feet simply to confound the white man."

1. Drink Old Style, not the beer that owns the Cardinals.

Chip Z'nuff
03-22-2006, 01:18 PM
Alright, who here posted this?:D:
I think they're on to us, they have begun removing the "truthful comments"

CaptainBallz
03-22-2006, 02:26 PM
I think they're on to us, they have begun removing the "truthful comments"

I'm starting to have trouble recognizing the "real comments" from the "truthful comments"--

7. Only go to the games when it's hot and sunny. Make sure you sit in the bleachers and wear your favorite Cubs tank-top. The blearchers are the best place to meet guys. While in Wrigley, check out the game too. The bleacher seats are the best place to see the game (if you're interested.
Submitted by: Ashley

mantis1212
03-22-2006, 02:30 PM
69. Fanny packs come in real handy. They keep your hands free for foul balls and cold ones.
Submitted by: Jay Boyd
4:00 PM CST, Mar 16, 2006
:rolling:

Fanny packs, lol

Tekijawa
03-22-2006, 02:47 PM
Alright, who here posted this?:D:

TEKIJAWA!!! I can't believe they let that one through!

HotelWhiteSox
03-22-2006, 02:49 PM
Damn, too bad the limit is 300 characters, it didn't allow mine, but this would've been it:

Make sure your cell phone battery is fully charged before going! You want someone to let you know if you make it on TV. As a matter of fact, you want to be caught on it when on TV to show how cool you are. It also can be handy to relay game information. Who knows who's starting in left now that the names on the back of the jersey are gone?

Tekijawa
03-22-2006, 02:51 PM
Damn, too bad the limit is 300 characters, it didn't allow mine, but this would've been it:

Mine was a lot longer too and I had to cut back... Looks like my 15 minutes of fame is done too, they took mine down, but it will be forever preserved in this thread!

pythons007
03-22-2006, 03:18 PM
I tried to post one but they never ended putting it on. I wonder why???:D: Probably too much talk of the place smelling of urine and cement falling on innocent people.

areilly
03-22-2006, 03:47 PM
I liked this one:
10. Make certain your seats are not behind one of the many poles--especially if you are buying from a scalper on the street.
Submitted by: Brad Y.
10:15 AM CST, Mar 22, 2006

maurice
03-22-2006, 03:52 PM
Interesting that the Trib web staff keeps deleting true but negative comments about their property. The Cell feature they published included an article entitled "5 dubious moments," and reader-submitted comments telling fans to "heckle Joe Borchard" and "tell yourself you'll be in a car about as long as you'll be at the game."
:rolleyes:

Ol' No. 2
03-22-2006, 03:55 PM
Interesting that the Trib web staff keeps deleting true but negative comments about their property. The Cell feature they published included an article entitled "5 dubious moments," and reader-submitted comments telling fans to "heckle Joe Borchard" and "tell yourself you'll be in a car about as long as you'll be at the game."
:rolleyes:


Does anybody have a link to the Sox version of the chicagosports.com closed message-board page soliciting reader comments about the Cell, or did they take it down?
Even with the Damn Ryan reconstruction, it will still be easier to get to Sox Park by car than to Wrigley.

maurice
03-22-2006, 04:05 PM
Some other gems from the Sox version of this page:
- "Stay home and talk to your kids or take them to the park to throw around a ball. Save the $300 you spend on tickets and popcorn for their college education."
- "Come with deep pockets."
- "McDonalds Double Cheesburgers + Deep Pockets= money saved."
- "Have an overpriced beer or two."
- "Get into a fight with any fan from the visiting team."
- "Sleep in until 1 hour till gametime, have some smokes and coors lights."

MarySwiss
03-22-2006, 04:08 PM
Make sure to bring plenty of paper and a sharpie so you can draw cute little "K"s and tape them up for Carrie Woods. (bring about 4 sheets of paper)

After about your 8th Old Style, start eyeing down a john because that pee-water will give you the uncontrolable cramps. Then make sure you leave in advance to get a stool over at John Barleycorn just in time to sing Kelly Clarkson Karaoke with some fellow cubbie fans. After your $275 tab, hop on the "L" and goto a sox game, hammered of course, and run on the field and attack an umpire. Also, don't sound too intelligent.....after all---don't want anyone to think you're a Sox fan! :gulp:

:rolling:

But seriously, I'm worried about those people at the Trib. They should get some help. What, they think only Cubs fans have computers? I cannot believe they even tried this. I mean, we KNOW they keep an eye on WSI and probably other Sox fan sites. They should have figured out just who they are dealing with by now, wouldn't ya think?

Oh, well! Just when you think they can't possibly do anything dumber, SURPRISE!!

billnahorodny
03-22-2006, 04:46 PM
I agree that it isn't easy to tell which are real and which are subtle jabs.

[QUOTE] 54. When sitting in the lower deck, take turns designating a member of your group to act as a "foul ball lookout." That person can warn of incoming drives you might miss when you're talking or have your back turned to the action.
Submitted by: Hard Core Cubbie
[QUOTE]

MarySwiss
03-22-2006, 04:59 PM
[quote=billnahorodny]I agree that it isn't easy to tell which are real and which are subtle jabs.

[quote] 54. When sitting in the lower deck, take turns designating a member of your group to act as a "foul ball lookout." That person can warn of incoming drives you might miss when you're talking or have your back turned to the action.
Submitted by: Hard Core Cubbie

So, would this person be called a "designated diver"? As in "diving for cover"? (Sorry, couldn't resist!)

JohnBasedowYoda
03-22-2006, 05:02 PM
Any good Sox fan knows the traveling flask of whiskey is the way to go, anyway. :cool:

Yeah brother!

Well I really don't think Old Style is that bad. Just not the cans. Old Style cans taste like copper water.

MarySwiss
03-22-2006, 05:20 PM
Yeah brother!

Well I really don't think Old Style is that bad. Just not the cans. Old Style cans taste like copper water.

Sorry, but Old Style sucks. Old Style Light is actually better, because it contains more water. I'd rather drink near beer.

Realist
03-22-2006, 05:33 PM
There's no such thing as a bad beer. Some are just colder than others.

J Co
03-22-2006, 09:40 PM
My suggestion was to wear a good pair of boots. They'd come in useful when confronted with the piles of vomit and puddles of urine that accumulate by the 5th inning. For some reason, they deleted it. Odd.

Ol' No. 2
03-22-2006, 10:11 PM
There's no such thing as a bad beer. Some are just colder than others.You have led a very sheltered life.

http://imagehost.epier.com/82113/buckhorn.jpg http://www.beerlights.com/grainbelt/Flateve2.JPGhttp://www.beerhistory.com/images/blackpride_1.jpg

itsnotrequired
03-22-2006, 10:19 PM
http://www.vaiden.net/billy_beer.jpg

Sox-on-TV44
03-23-2006, 10:51 AM
Here's mine.

Go to Wrigley - in October, it's never crowded. Then, board the Red Line and head to Sox-35th to see a World Series Banner.
That's my favorite one!

BTW:Forget Old Style.I don't drink,but it reeks an awful smell!!!!!!

maurice
03-23-2006, 12:53 PM
- "Stay home and talk to your kids or take them to the park to throw around a ball. Save the $300 you spend on tickets and popcorn for their college education."
- "Come with deep pockets."
- "McDonalds Double Cheesburgers + Deep Pockets= money saved."
- "Have an overpriced beer or two."
- "Get into a fight with any fan from the visiting team."
- "Sleep in until 1 hour till gametime, have some smokes and coors lights."

To recap, all of these comments were posted on the Sox version of this page (plus comments telling fans to "heckle Joe Borchard" and "tell yourself you'll be in a car about as long as you'll be at the game"), and none of them were deleted by the Trib web staff. I submitted exact quotes of these comments to the Cub page yesterday, and all of them were deleted.

No bias there! The Trib covers both teams exactly the same!

itsnotrequired
03-23-2006, 01:09 PM
To recap, all of these comments were posted on the Sox version of this page (plus comments telling fans to "heckle Joe Borchard" and "tell yourself you'll be in a car about as long as you'll be at the game"), and none of them were deleted by the Trib web staff. I submitted exact quotes of these comments to the Cub page yesterday, and all of them were deleted.

No bias there! The Trib covers both teams exactly the same!

Better not let Hangar see this!

SoLongFrank
03-23-2006, 05:28 PM
If you are obsessed with winning don't go. Otherwise take the train & bus. Don't attempt to drive.

thomas35forever
03-23-2006, 05:33 PM
Here's one: If you're bringing a child who's younger than 11 years old, be sure to bring a "My First Cubs Game" sign so you can be caught on TV during the 7th inning stretch, even if the kid's been there before.

Layla
03-26-2006, 10:38 AM
In the Cubune's guide to Wrigley Field today, some of these are mentioned.

What I found funny was that one guy says "leave your cell phone at home."

Two paragraphs down is the girl who says "bring your cell phone."

and

One guy says "don't bring a glove." Another says "bring a glove."

Geez, make up your minds.:tongue:

JohnBasedowYoda
03-26-2006, 11:18 AM
You have led a very sheltered life.



Grain Belt is very good stuff. Is there anywhere I can find it in Illinois?