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Baby Fisk
03-08-2006, 11:35 AM
Amusing previews from the satirical Brushback.com, for people who are easily amused...

AL Preview (http://www.thebrushback.com/alpreview.htm)

NL Preview (http://www.thebrushback.com/nlpreview.htm)

Railsplitter
03-08-2006, 11:41 AM
Good thing it is satirical, it or else it would come off as another ignorant writer spouting off.

mccombe_35
03-08-2006, 11:43 AM
very funny stuff! thanks for the links!

ondafarm
03-08-2006, 11:46 AM
Slow day at the office, or I'm easily amused. (Since I've been married twice, its probably the later.)

Baby Fisk
03-08-2006, 11:47 AM
Good thing it is satirical, it or else it would come off as another ignorant writer spouting off.
Haha, stick Dayne Perry's name on the byline and suddenly it's "credible reportage". :roflmao:

palehozenychicty
03-08-2006, 11:50 AM
This is my favorite quote though. Hilarious.

Outlook:
Mark Prior was dangled as trade bait in the offseason for shortstop Miguel Tejada, probably because the Cubs would prefer someone who is actually good, rather than someone who is theoretically good.

:rolling:

rowand33
03-08-2006, 12:00 PM
I like the Tigers.

Weakness:
Roster.

The thing about Vazquez for us is funny too.

spiffie
03-08-2006, 12:12 PM
I think Shoota wrote the "weaknesses" part for the Sox:

Weakness:
Third basemen Joe Crede is one of those guys that was a hero in the postseason but will be worthless the rest of his career. If heís still in the league after the first week of the season Iíll be shocked. If Iím Kenny Williams, Iím getting him out of there now before he pollutes the entire team.

LuvSox
03-08-2006, 12:18 PM
Kerry Wood may not be ready in time for opening day. That sentence should be engraved on a plaque on the wall of the managers office in Wrigley Field. :D:

NonetheLoaiza
03-08-2006, 12:24 PM
Finally, the Onion got involved in doing baseball previews!

That stuff about Joe Crede is garbage, as is the stuff about Ozzie, and getting the playoffs by the grace of God. That 11-1 postseason record was by the grace of God too, huh? :rolleyes: Wait, that whole preview is garbage. Oh well, what are you gonna do?

EDIT: Whoops...I am pretty bad at spotting jokes. I just went to the Sox one, and tought it was for real at first. I'm embarassed.

ComiskeyBrewer
03-08-2006, 12:30 PM
So many good ones, i am just going to post my favorite 5.

Weakness:
Andruw Jones is positively gargantuan. I bet he sees a big juicy steak every time he looks at Marcus Giles. Jesus, eat a salad, dude. The outfield is only so vast.

Question mark:
Carlos Delgado is NOT going to pull that hippie protesting BULL**** with the Mets or I will personally come down to the field and kick his commie ass.

Outlook:
The Pirates aren’t going to join the Steelers as world champions this year, but they’re going to look funny as hell trying.

Outlook:
The Tigers should be a fun team to watch this year if you’re an Indians fan.

Outlook:
Adam Dunn will strike out 5 times before you finish reading this sentence.



:rolling:

samram
03-08-2006, 12:35 PM
Pretty funny, although I think he outed himself as an Indians fan.

dlee120
03-08-2006, 01:20 PM
Finally, the Onion got involved in doing baseball previews!

That stuff about Joe Crede is garbage, as is the stuff about Ozzie, and getting the playoffs by the grace of God. That 11-1 postseason record was by the grace of God too, huh? :rolleyes: Wait, that whole preview is garbage. Oh well, what are you gonna do?

EDIT: Whoops...I am pretty bad at spotting jokes. I just went to the Sox one, and tought it was for real at first. I'm embarassed.

as well you should be :tongue:

fquaye149
03-08-2006, 01:39 PM
Pretty funny, although I think he outed himself as an Indians fan.

Oh well, that in and of itself is more punishment than anything we could do to him

1951Campbell
03-08-2006, 02:27 PM
I like the Tigers.

Weakness:
Roster.



That was my fave.

HotelWhiteSox
03-08-2006, 02:36 PM
Are we sure this is satire, the NL Central is spot on :redneck

The White Sox one was okay, the Crede thing wasn't that funny, I guess we just don't have that many weaknesses? :smile:

Some of my favs,

Milwaukee Brewers:
Strength:
Every time somebody at Miller park or field or whatever hits a home run this guy in the outfield goes down a slide into some big mug of beer. I saw that on the Travel Channel.

Washington Nationals:
Weakness:
Alfonso Sorianoís refusal to play the outfield puts the Nationals in an odd position. Of course, it might be less odd if they didnít acquire an outfielder who swore he would never play the outfield in the first place.
Question mark:
Their pitching staff appears to be comprised of random names pulled out of the phone book. Ryan Drese? If there is actually a pitcher named Ryan Drese in Major League Baseball, I will eat my hat.
Outlook:
Fantasy tip: Donít select Christian Guzman

Cincinatti Reds:
Strength:
N/A

Oakland Athletics:
Strength:
The Aís made some key offseason acquisitions this year. They picked up Estaban Loaiza, who is a Cy Young caliber pitcher as long as the year is 2003, and Milton Bradley, who should bring a level of intensity to the team and help weed out any racists they may have in the clubhouse.

Rooney4Prez56
03-09-2006, 12:23 PM
Question mark:
Kerry Wood may not be ready in time for opening day. That sentence should be engraved on a plaque on the wall of the manager's office at Wrigley Field.
Outlook:
Mark Prior was dangled as trade bait in the offseason for shortstop Miguel Tejada, probably because the Cubs would prefer someone who is actually good, rather than someone who is theoretically good.



That is beautiful!