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house215
02-27-2006, 01:13 AM
For my English 101 class I had to write a paper on why "a was better than b". I decided to do something easy like why US Cellular Field is better than Wrigley. I'm no writer but it came to me with much ease. Here it is:



The national perception of the Chicago Cubs home ballpark, Wrigley Field, is one of summertime fun in one of the oldest sports stadiums still standing. While it may be true Wrigley Field is old it far from comfortable or fun or even historic; that is unless you choose to call the team that makes Wrigley Field it’s home historic for the sheer fact they have been a loosing baseball team for nearly 100 years now. The often overlooked other ballpark in Chicago, US Cellular Field, is vastly superior to Wrigley Field in every aspect. It is a modern ballpark with a real Chicago neighborhood surrounding it, top notch amenities, great sightlines, and believe it or not, trumps Wrigley Field in “history”.
Cub fans seems to be just as enthusiastic about their dilapidating ballpark as they are their already dilapidated baseball team and will defend Wrigley Field, in all its glory, with much vigor. They often speak of the wonderful neighborhood surrounding Wrigley Field and overall ambience of “Wrigleyville”. Although, I would argue Wrigleyville is as about as authentically Chicago as Bloomington, Indiana. The whole neighborhood is filled with twenty and thirty year olds transplants who wish to live in an area that openly promotes and celebrates the party lifestyle. What Wrigley Field enthusiasts see as the ambiance of Wrigley Field and its surrounding area, I perceive as a giant frat party with no parking. When you go to US Cellular Field you are not going to get all the sights and sounds of Wrigleyville but what you will find is a real baseball stadium, a real Chicago neighborhood, and you will be actually be able to park your car in the area. What a concept! The neighborhood surrounding US Cellular Field, Bridgeport, is a true working class neighborhood that is true to the roots of the city and also exemplifies its diversity. You will find all walks life in the area from Polish to African American to Mexican to Chinese. While parking at Wrigley Field is next to impossible it is never a problem at US Cellular Field. US Cellular Field has many parking lots in the surrounding area of the ballpark.
Wrigley Field was built in 1914 and when you go there it shows. It is actually starting to fall apart. In the 2004 season there were incidents of falling concrete from the upper deck seating to the seats down below. What did the Chicago Cubs organization do to alleviate this problem? Well, they installed nets to catch the falling concrete. Nets, that’s right, nets; so now the fans can enjoy the game there without the worry of falling concrete. Even with or without the nets Wrigley Field has some other serious problems and drawbacks. The bathroom facilities are still ancient and too few and far between. Often the lines go out the door and if you are a woman you will even have a harder time in the bathrooms. As far as the ballpark food is concerned there is probably a reason that many of the fans come to the ballpark just to drink because their concessions is obsolete compared to any major sports stadium today. There are also several areas of the stadium deemed “obstructed view” seating; which pretty much means that you have a giant pole blocking you from watching the game. On the other hand at US Cellular Field (which was completed in 1991) you have no falling concrete, up to date bathroom facilities, a wide variety of delicious ballpark food, and no obstructed view seating in the whole stadium. As well, you have many other modern amenities and entertainment such as areas for children, a ballpark museum, jumbo-screen, luxury suites, a sports bar in right field, and a fan deck overlooking center field.
One baseball team in Chicago has the shortest World Series title drought while the other has the longest. The Chicago White Sox this year went from the start of the season to the end of the season in first place and finishing with the most wins in the American League. They play an exciting brand of baseball at US Cellular Field that mixed power and speed with great pitching from their starters to their bullpen. The White Sox marched through the playoffs to capture the World Series title. Even though Wrigley Field is 77 years older than US Cellular Field it has never seen its home team, the Chicago Cubs, win a World Series title. While Wrigley Field is an old stadium, it hardly the type of history you would want associated with a ballpark or a baseball franchise. In fact, the last World Series title the Chicago Cubs won was in 1908, six years before Wrigley Field was even finished. The Chicago Cubs continued their losing way this past summer at Wrigley Field finishing 4th place in their division by playing inconsistent, uninspired, and unentertaining baseball; which is something Wrigley Field is used to hosting.

nug0hs
02-27-2006, 01:19 AM
Good work buddy...hope the teach agrees.

Dancin' Homer
02-27-2006, 02:16 AM
I stopped counting grammatical, spelling and puncuation errors at fifteen. Good Luck.

PS Way to go posting in that font, it made my eyes bleed.

On the other hand, we share a birthday. Rock on!

CubsfansareDRUNK
02-27-2006, 07:42 AM
that is an awesome paper. Good job man, tho it is really biased. And check the grammar. C+

ilsox7
02-27-2006, 07:45 AM
Just wanted to mention that I would make sure to edit the paper before turning it in, as there are numerous grammatical errors.

skottyj242
02-27-2006, 10:12 AM
For my English 101 class I had to write a paper on why "a was better than b". I decided to do something easy like why US Cellular Field is better than Wrigley. I'm no writer but it came to me with much ease. Here it is:



The national perception of the Chicago Cubs home ballpark, Wrigley Field, is one of summertime fun in one of the oldest sports stadiums still standing. While it may be true Wrigley Field is old it far from comfortable or fun or even historic; that is unless you choose to call the team that makes Wrigley Field it’s home historic for the sheer fact they have been a loosing baseball team for nearly 100 years now. The often overlooked other ballpark in Chicago, US Cellular Field, is vastly superior to Wrigley Field in every aspect. It is a modern ballpark with a real Chicago neighborhood surrounding it, top notch amenities, great sightlines, and believe it or not, trumps Wrigley Field in “history”.
Cub fans seems to be just as enthusiastic about their dilapidating ballpark as they are their already dilapidated baseball team and will defend Wrigley Field, in all its glory, with much vigor. They often speak of the wonderful neighborhood surrounding Wrigley Field and overall ambience of “Wrigleyville”. Although, I would argue Wrigleyville is as about as authentically Chicago as Bloomington, Indiana. The whole neighborhood is filled with twenty and thirty year olds transplants who wish to live in an area that openly promotes and celebrates the party lifestyle. What Wrigley Field enthusiasts see as the ambiance of Wrigley Field and its surrounding area, I perceive as a giant frat party with no parking. When you go to US Cellular Field you are not going to get all the sights and sounds of Wrigleyville but what you will find is a real baseball stadium, a real Chicago neighborhood, and you will be actually be able to park your car in the area. What a concept! The neighborhood surrounding US Cellular Field, Bridgeport, is a true working class neighborhood that is true to the roots of the city and also exemplifies its diversity. You will find all walks life in the area from Polish to African American to Mexican to Chinese. While parking at Wrigley Field is next to impossible it is never a problem at US Cellular Field. US Cellular Field has many parking lots in the surrounding area of the ballpark.
Wrigley Field was built in 1914 and when you go there it shows. It is actually starting to fall apart. In the 2004 season there were incidents of falling concrete from the upper deck seating to the seats down below. What did the Chicago Cubs organization do to alleviate this problem? Well, they installed nets to catch the falling concrete. Nets, that’s right, nets; so now the fans can enjoy the game there without the worry of falling concrete. Even with or without the nets Wrigley Field has some other serious problems and drawbacks. The bathroom facilities are still ancient and too few and far between. Often the lines go out the door and if you are a woman you will even have a harder time in the bathrooms. As far as the ballpark food is concerned there is probably a reason that many of the fans come to the ballpark just to drink because their concessions is obsolete compared to any major sports stadium today. There are also several areas of the stadium deemed “obstructed view” seating; which pretty much means that you have a giant pole blocking you from watching the game. On the other hand at US Cellular Field (which was completed in 1991) you have no falling concrete, up to date bathroom facilities, a wide variety of delicious ballpark food, and no obstructed view seating in the whole stadium. As well, you have many other modern amenities and entertainment such as areas for children, a ballpark museum, jumbo-screen, luxury suites, a sports bar in right field, and a fan deck overlooking center field.
One baseball team in Chicago has the shortest World Series title drought while the other has the longest. The Chicago White Sox this year went from the start of the season to the end of the season in first place and finishing with the most wins in the American League. They play an exciting brand of baseball at US Cellular Field that mixed power and speed with great pitching from their starters to their bullpen. The White Sox marched through the playoffs to capture the World Series title. Even though Wrigley Field is 77 years older than US Cellular Field it has never seen its home team, the Chicago Cubs, win a World Series title. While Wrigley Field is an old stadium, it hardly the type of history you would want associated with a ballpark or a baseball franchise. In fact, the last World Series title the Chicago Cubs won was in 1908, six years before Wrigley Field was even finished. The Chicago Cubs continued their losing way this past summer at Wrigley Field finishing 4th place in their division by playing inconsistent, uninspired, and unentertaining baseball; which is something Wrigley Field is used to hosting.

I couldn't read it that small.

skottyj242
02-27-2006, 10:17 AM
Good paper, make sure to grammar check and spell check. Not to nitpick or anyting but since they remodeled the upper deck at Comiskey there are now obstructed view seats.

samram
02-27-2006, 10:18 AM
Just wanted to mention that I would make sure to edit the paper before turning it in, as there are numerous grammatical errors.

Numerous is putting it nicely.

house215
02-27-2006, 10:23 AM
Thanks for all the grammar tips!

Give me a break, I'm in English 101.

ilsox7
02-27-2006, 10:27 AM
Numerous is putting it nicely.
Yea, I probably would not have brought it up if it wasn't an English paper. I was just trying to be nice to point out that it needs a thorough edit before it gets turned in, especially to an English professor.

HotelWhiteSox
02-27-2006, 10:48 AM
Thanks for all the grammar tips!

Give me a break, I'm in English 101.

They're just doing it to help man. My English 101 professor would rant and rip me (or whoever) apart for not proofreading turned in papers.

White Sox Randy
02-27-2006, 10:56 AM
"losing" should be a word that a sports fan can spell but I guess if you are a White Sox fan, we are so unaccustomed to "loosing" that........

Phil A. Show
02-27-2006, 11:18 AM
I'd give it a "C". The intro and body is okay, but you didn't go into much depth about why U.S. Cellular is more historic than Wrigley based on your intro. The last paragraph should be a summary but it wasn't. It was more why the Sox is better than the Cubs.

Rooney4Prez56
02-27-2006, 11:25 AM
I'd give it a "C". The intro and body is okay, but you didn't go into much depth about why U.S. Cellular is more historic than Wrigley based on your intro. The last paragraph should be a summary but it wasn't. It was more why the Sox is better than the Cubs.

It was an average paper, but my White Sox bias forces me to give it at least a B.

CaptainBallz
02-27-2006, 11:26 AM
Thanks for all the grammar tips!

Give me a break, I'm in English 101.

That means college, right? Which means you made it through High School with that abysmal writing style! :o: Good subject, but as a paper I also give you a 'C'.

Jerko
02-27-2006, 11:33 AM
I wishes you guys' was my teechers becuz giving that papir a C make's me think I M loosing my mined....................

Phil A. Show
02-27-2006, 11:36 AM
It was an average paper, but my White Sox bias forces me to give it at least a B.

He's in trouble if the teacher's a Cub fan.

miker
02-27-2006, 11:45 AM
So the prerequisite for English 101 is no knowledge of English?

house215
02-27-2006, 12:29 PM
They're just doing it to help man. My English 101 professor would rant and rip me (or whoever) apart for not proofreading turned in papers.

I have not even turned it in as of yet, I was going to go over with my teacher.

I don't mind the criticism but some of you guys came across as arrogant jerks. I took some time off between high school and college do a volunteer program and have not taken an English class in about 3 1/2 years and even then I was never really that good.

SouthSide_HitMen
02-27-2006, 01:24 PM
I have not even turned it in as of yet, I was going to go over with my teacher.

I don't mind the criticism but some of you guys came across as arrogant jerks. I took some time off between high school and college do a volunteer program and have not taken an English class in about 3 1/2 years and even then I was never really that good.

I recommend you read "The Little Brown Handbook" and use it in future assignments.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0321075072/102-7383784-6436964?v=glance&n=283155

Also, you asked for people's opinions. People should be able to write a college level paper in college (though standards regress each year). I would have expected a D or F from one of my St. Patrick HS English teachers if I turned in that paper. Have someone you know with strong English skills review your work before you turn it in. Writing skills are needed beyond English 101 and your work will be judged critically if it is presented poorly. Take the time now to improve and it will pay off down the road (in school and the workplace).

SoxFan76
02-27-2006, 02:19 PM
Thanks for all the grammar tips!

Give me a break, I'm in English 101.

This is stuff you learn in high school, if not earlier.

Sorry, if I was the prof I'd give you a C at best. It's too biased. I agree with everything you wrote, but that's because I've been to both parks many times and I'm also a Sox fan. It's more of an attack against Wrigleyville and Wrigley Field than "comparing a and b".

I'm in my second year of college, so it's not like I'm any older than you, I'm just trying to help you out.

thomas35forever
03-02-2006, 07:56 PM
The only flaws I find in that paper are some grammar errors. Otherwise, good paper.

oeo
03-02-2006, 08:04 PM
Thanks for all the grammar tips!

Give me a break, I'm in English 101.
It's a college course, you do have certain expectations, they're not just thrown out because it's an introductory course. In all honesty, I don't think you're taking it serious enough if you don't think numerous grammatical errors will not be factored into your grade. No one is ripping on you or trying to be jerks, they're only trying to help you out...so relax and try to take some advice.

Steelrod
03-02-2006, 10:42 PM
Good paper, make sure to grammar check and spell check. Not to nitpick or anyting but since they remodeled the upper deck at Comiskey there are now obstructed view seats.
Not to nitpick, but Comiskey Park has been named US Cellular field for several years!

voodoochile
03-02-2006, 10:46 PM
I have not even turned it in as of yet, I was going to go over with my teacher.

I don't mind the criticism but some of you guys came across as arrogant jerks. I took some time off between high school and college do a volunteer program and have not taken an English class in about 3 1/2 years and even then I was never really that good.

Don't let the grammar police get you down. We all have to start somewhere.

There was a time in all of their lives when they sucked at writing papers too.

If you don't have it, get MS Word, it fixes grammar mistakes as well as spelling.

It won't help you become better with the language though, so make sure you pay attention to your teacher and learn the proper way to put together sentences. It will serve you well for the rest of your life.

oeo
03-03-2006, 06:44 AM
Don't let the grammar police get you down. We all have to start somewhere.

See, I don't see it that way at all. I would rather someone tell me my paper sucks than tell me I did a great job. I'm not saying his paper sucks, but a little constructive criticism never hurt anyone. I don't think anyone told him he did a terrible job, they were just giving him some advice.

soxjim
03-03-2006, 07:04 AM
I recall a paper I did in college. I attempted a paper on SOX fans vs cub fans. It turned out an attack on cub fans. I got attacked with a D.

DrCrawdad
03-03-2006, 08:28 AM
That means college, right? Which means you made it through High School with that abysmal writing style! :o: Good subject, but as a paper I also give you a 'C'.

HARSH!

CaptainBallz, I think I know who you are...

http://www.kosi101.com/airstaff/murphyandjo/images/idol-simon.jpg

voodoochile
03-03-2006, 10:41 AM
See, I don't see it that way at all. I would rather someone tell me my paper sucks than tell me I did a great job. I'm not saying his paper sucks, but a little constructive criticism never hurt anyone. I don't think anyone told him he did a terrible job, they were just giving him some advice.

Right, but the tone has been pretty harsh...

SoxFan76
03-03-2006, 02:35 PM
Right, but the tone has been pretty harsh...

I assume he's at least 18. If he can't handle a little criticism now, then I don't think he ever will.

That paper was...bad. Plain and simple. It's not just grammar, it's the whole structuring of sentences, word choice, etc. It just seemed very amateurish.

Man, after this thread that guy better look back and rewrite one hell of a paper! :D:

CaptainBallz
03-03-2006, 02:59 PM
HARSH!

CaptainBallz, I think I know who you are...

http://www.kosi101.com/airstaff/murphyandjo/images/idol-simon.jpg

I'm much better looking than that. :cool:

Actually, I might have come across a bit harsh, but only after his "Give me a break, I'm in English 101..." comment. The fact remains, he posted a paper of questionable quality on a public forum and ASKED for opinions. He then got 'snooty' when people gave him guff about his crappy grammar.

"Give me a break, I'm in English 101...." :rolleyes: *** is that?!

house215
03-03-2006, 05:03 PM
Don't let the grammar police get you down. We all have to start somewhere.

There was a time in all of their lives when they sucked at writing papers too.

If you don't have it, get MS Word, it fixes grammar mistakes as well as spelling.

It won't help you become better with the language though, so make sure you pay attention to your teacher and learn the proper way to put together sentences. It will serve you well for the rest of your life.

I apperciate that. Contrary to popular belief I posted this paper with the introduction of "I am not much of a writer" not "Please flame this and be a prick while you do it". Like I said, I do not mind help or criticism but some people came across just as pricks.

tick53
03-03-2006, 05:16 PM
Hey did they get the idea of the nets from the baskets in the outfield?:?:


Nice Article..

Nellie_Fox
03-04-2006, 12:24 AM
Reliance on spell check and grammar check is a big problem for my students. Remember, they won't catch the misuse of "it's" when you should have used "its" as you did in this paper. Seriously, one of my gripes with the English 101 teachers on my campus is that students don't get hit hard enough on their papers, then when I bleed red ink all over their papers in my classes, they don't understand why.

I'll tell you what I'll do, so you don't think we aren't being constructive. It's a short paper. Send me a copy of that paper as a Word attachment to my university account (mark.robbins@mnsu.edu) and I'll use the Word editing feature to help clean it up with comments about why I'm suggesting changes and send it back. Interested? If your 101 teacher reviews and comments drafts for you and only grades the final product, then maybe you will be fine in the long run and don't need my help.

jehosaphat
03-04-2006, 11:59 AM
IMO the paper is a reasonable first draft, but not at all ready to submit if you want to earn a high grade (I don't mean to be harsh or arrogant).

I like the passion - the persuasive tone is nothing for which you need to apologize. If you want to appear to be more objective (i.e., like you've come to your opinion after carefully considering all of the facts/arguments), you could make a small concession. Something like .... "Old ballparks like old automobiles have a certain amount of charm, however, just as one doesn't want to depend on a '49 Studebaker for daily transportation in 2006, a stadium built at the dawn of WW1 is hardly ideal for a season of 81 home games in 2006." Then I think you are good shape to make a case the presumed advantages of Wrigley are mainly "hype", and that people who think Wrigley is a better place to see pro baseball compared to the Cell are buying into a "snow job."

My other suggestion is that you need a good thesis statement early in your essay. Something like, "Contrary to conventional wisdom, a baseball fan's experience at US Cellular Field is superior to that of Wrigley field because of its atmosphere, neighborhood, accessibility, safety, food, and amenities." might work. The key is to alert your reader to the structure of your essay, and then the reader can follow your line of thought.

Good luck! Writing is hard work and it takes a lot of time. The more you write, the better you get, and as others have said, it is an important skill in terms of getting ahead in the world.

Layla
03-05-2006, 10:55 AM
My other suggestion is that you need a good thesis statement early in your essay. Something like, "Contrary to conventional wisdom, a baseball fan's experience at US Cellular Field is superior to that of Wrigley field because of its atmosphere, neighborhood, accessibility, safety, food, and amenities." might work. The key is to alert your reader to the structure of your essay, and then the reader can follow your line of thought.

Good luck! Writing is hard work and it takes a lot of time. The more you write, the better you get, and as others have said, it is an important skill in terms of getting ahead in the world.

I remember my son having to write these papers in high school. It seems to me you had to have at least three supporting statements for your thesis. I also remember you had to have the attention grabbing first sentence.

Please don't think anyone here is dumping on you. One of the best books I bought my son when he went to college was a writer's guide.