PDA

View Full Version : George Carlin Football vs Baseball


Fake Chet Lemon
02-05-2006, 02:46 PM
If you've never heard the George Carlin "Football vs Baseball" bit, this thread will seem even dumber than it already is. But if you have heard his bit I've always wanted someone to re-do that bit, but from the baseball perspective. Here is my contribution:

IN FOOTBALL, when the clock says zero we quit and go home. Yeaaaaaa!

IN BASEBALL, the human combatants play inning after gruelling inning until their opponent has been destroyed. There is NO LIMIT to the innings, clocks and other outside forces are irrelevant on this battlefield.

DSpivack
02-05-2006, 02:48 PM
http://www.baseball-almanac.com/humor7.shtml

SOX ADDICT '73
02-05-2006, 04:14 PM
In football, receivers are usually the skinniest players on the field. Many are mouthy prima donnas who are afraid to catch the ball if they hear an opponent's approaching footsteps.
http://www.denverbroncos.com/resources/custom/Images/Top%20Stories/2005/terrell_david_ap_090705.jpg

In baseball, receivers are the toughest SOBs on the team. Most of them are solidly built and unsung, and when an opponent is approaching like a freight train, they catch the ball and brace themselves for impact.
:walkoff:

TornLabrum
02-05-2006, 04:19 PM
In football a hurler is an unfortunate player who pukes his guts out from exhaustion in an early fall game where the on-field temperature in 90 degrees.

In baseball a hurler is a guy who on a 90-degree day throws a projectile over 90-mph at the batter just daring him to even get a piece of it with his bat.

monkeypants
02-05-2006, 11:22 PM
If you've never heard the George Carlin "Football vs Baseball" bit, this thread will seem even dumber than it already is. But if you have heard his bit I've always wanted someone to re-do that bit, but from the baseball perspective. Here is my contribution:

IN FOOTBALL, when the clock says zero we quit and go home. Yeaaaaaa!

IN BASEBALL, the human combatants play inning after gruelling inning until their opponent has been destroyed. There is NO LIMIT to the innings, clocks and other outside forces are irrelevant on this battlefield.

I never thought Carlin's bit was in the slightest bit "dumb". In fact I think it's a fairly insightful look into both sports and the culture that created and plays these sports. Also, I don't know what you're talking about "from the baseball perspective". The bit compares and contrasts both sports without bashing or glorifying either one. He's just making observations.

DSpivack
02-06-2006, 12:00 AM
If you've never heard the George Carlin "Football vs Baseball" bit, this thread will seem even dumber than it already is. But if you have heard his bit I've always wanted someone to re-do that bit, but from the baseball perspective. Here is my contribution:

IN FOOTBALL, when the clock says zero we quit and go home. Yeaaaaaa!

IN BASEBALL, the human combatants play inning after gruelling inning until their opponent has been destroyed. There is NO LIMIT to the innings, clocks and other outside forces are irrelevant on this battlefield.

Your post is quite odd in comparison to Carlin's comparison about baseball being safe at home and football being similar to war.

SOX ADDICT '73
02-06-2006, 12:34 AM
...I don't know what you're talking about "from the baseball perspective". The bit compares and contrasts both sports without bashing or glorifying either one. He's just making observations.
Oh come on! Have you actually heard his bit? He is obviously trying to make football out to be a game for "real men" and baseball a game for the soft and weak. You can tell just by the tone of his voice, for crying out loud. It's funny as hell, but to say he isn't favoring one over the other is delusional.

DSpivack
02-06-2006, 01:14 AM
Oh come on! Have you actually heard his bit? He is obviously trying to make football out to be a game for "real men" and baseball a game for the soft and weak. You can tell just by the tone of his voice, for crying out loud. It's funny as hell, but to say he isn't favoring one over the other is delusional.

See, more than anything I would take it as a criticism on violent football more than anything else....which is why I think it's really not a criticism of either.

CLR01
02-06-2006, 03:09 AM
IN FOOTBALL, when the clock says zero we quit and go home. Yeaaaaaa!

IN BASEBALL, the human combatants play inning after gruelling inning until their opponent has been destroyed. There is NO LIMIT to the innings, clocks and other outside forces are irrelevant on this battlefield.


Well except rain and snow....

Frater Perdurabo
02-06-2006, 08:00 AM
Oh come on! Have you actually heard his bit? He is obviously trying to make football out to be a game for "real men" and baseball a game for the soft and weak. You can tell just by the tone of his voice, for crying out loud. It's funny as hell, but to say he isn't favoring one over the other is delusional.

I disagree. One could argue that he's favoring baseball over football if one were to take this quote in isolation:

In baseball, during the game, in the stands, there's kind of a picnic feeling; emotions may run high or low, but there's not too much unpleasantness.
In football, during the game in the stands, you can be sure that at least twenty-seven times you're capable of taking the life of a fellow human being.

I agree with monkeypants. Take the whole routine in context. Carlin comments on society and the cultures of the two games and fans of each. He's not favoring one over the other, but incisively lampooning both to get laughs.

TDog
02-06-2006, 09:55 AM
The routine is mostly about word play. Therein lies the humor.

LuvSox
02-06-2006, 11:45 AM
Good god, let the season start already.

I want Mags back
02-06-2006, 03:24 PM
"Baseball begins in the spring, the season of new life. Football begins in the fall, when everything's dying." - George Carlin

that would go in my sig, if it wasnt blocked

SOX ADDICT '73
02-06-2006, 06:14 PM
I disagree. One could argue that he's favoring baseball over football if one were to take this quote in isolation: "In baseball, during the game, in the stands, there's kind of a picnic feeling; emotions may run high or low, but there's not too much unpleasantness."
Maybe it's just me, but that whole "picnic feeling" business makes me think of Wrigley Field, where people just go to sit in the sun, drink beer, ogle women, and half the time aren't even aware there's a game going on. Honestly, so many "fans" have their backs turned to the field, enjoying "the Wrigley experience", I'm surprised more people aren't killed by foul balls each year.

Those of you with small children may disagree, but for me a day at USCF is anything but a "picnic". When I attend a baseball game, it's serious business. I have fun, but I also live and die on every pitch.

There's also the matter of Carlin's vocal tone and inflection: every football line is uttered in a deep, gruff voice, while the baseball parts sound like he's on "mood modifiers".

Frater Perdurabo
02-06-2006, 09:34 PM
Maybe it's just me, but that whole "picnic feeling" business makes me think of Wrigley Field, where people just go to sit in the sun, drink beer, ogle women, and half the time aren't even aware there's a game going on. Honestly, so many "fans" have their backs turned to the field, enjoying "the Wrigley experience", I'm surprised more people aren't killed by foul balls each year.

Those of you with small children may disagree, but for me a day at USCF is anything but a "picnic". When I attend a baseball game, it's serious business. I have fun, but I also live and die on every pitch.

There's also the matter of Carlin's vocal tone and inflection: every football line is uttered in a deep, gruff voice, while the baseball parts sound like he's on "mood modifiers".

I can't say I disagree, but we have to remember that when Carlin came up with the routine, Wrigley wasn't near the frat boy phenomenon that it is now. Again, take the whole thing in context; don't isolate individual statements. And above all, remember that this is comedy! The voice inflections are as big of a part of his nuanced and sophisticated schtick as is his incisive social commentary.
:D:

DSpivack
02-06-2006, 09:44 PM
Maybe it's just me, but that whole "picnic feeling" business makes me think of Wrigley Field, where people just go to sit in the sun, drink beer, ogle women, and half the time aren't even aware there's a game going on. Honestly, so many "fans" have their backs turned to the field, enjoying "the Wrigley experience", I'm surprised more people aren't killed by foul balls each year.

Those of you with small children may disagree, but for me a day at USCF is anything but a "picnic". When I attend a baseball game, it's serious business. I have fun, but I also live and die on every pitch.

There's also the matter of Carlin's vocal tone and inflection: every football line is uttered in a deep, gruff voice, while the baseball parts sound like he's on "mood modifiers".

While your picnic notions are true, I still would say baseball is a lot more of a family game and has a relaxed atmosphere as compared to football. The slowness of the game, the buildup, the pitcher stepping off the mound, the batter out of the box, the break between innings, all makes for that to be true.