PDA

View Full Version : *Official* You Write Tomorrow's Cubune Headline V...


Pages : [1] 2

voodoochile
08-05-2005, 05:30 PM
Due to the popularity of the original thread, we had to close it to make things easier on the server. Feel free to read it by following the link and feel free to keep those hilarious headlines coming...

Volume 1
http://www.whitesoxinteractive.com/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=53594

Volume 2
http://www.whitesoxinteractive.com/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=55603

Volume 3
http://www.whitesoxinteractive.com/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=58305

Volume 4
http://www.whitesoxinteractive.com/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=60696

Sox lead nearly down to double digits.

Flubs fighting hard for the WC - only 3 teams between them and a playoff slot!

See interview with Ronnie Woo Woo - How he survived his chance encounter with William Lique at Soxfest

itsnotrequired
01-14-2006, 08:30 PM
I can't believe there has been 2,000 of these already.

Sox fans waste away time making fake headlines

- Forgot to go to the games, wasted time on library computer

gobears1987
01-14-2006, 08:35 PM
Sox fans at WSI near 1,000,000 posts.
Knue says he's debated them and they are morons.

Chisox003
01-14-2006, 08:43 PM
NFL Playoff Coverage:
Guarantees, Opinions, and Clubhouse sUperstitions from Bears' Stars

buehrle4cy05
01-14-2006, 08:46 PM
Opening a (gas)can of worms
Star reliever Howry states facts: Chicago is a Cubs town, and nobody cares about the Sox
However, due to Howry's comments, gun-carrying, pot-smoking Sox fans may attack cultured, peaceful Cub fans

getonbckthr
01-14-2006, 09:03 PM
CUBS 3 GAMES FROM TITLE
Well all Bears started as baby Cubs.

kittle42
01-14-2006, 09:25 PM
Special Bears Playoff Coverage
Fans agree excitement in the air unseen since '03 Cubs playoff run

SOXSINCE'70
01-14-2006, 10:55 PM
NFL Playoff Coverage:
Guarantees, Opinions, and Clubhouse sUperstitions from Bears' Stars




:roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao:
I wouldn't put this one past those idiots,but it is a funny headline.

gbergman
01-15-2006, 01:52 AM
Classless Sox management fails to show support for north side squad by tearing out Cubbie Blue colored seats for "Marijuana" Green seats.

Why do the Sox promote drug abuse? Mariotti explains pg. 2

Why do crime ridden, poor South Siders call our affluent beloved Cubbie fans "Yuppies"

DaleJRFan
01-15-2006, 02:10 AM
Special Bears Playoff Coverage
Fans agree excitement in the air unseen since '03 Cubs playoff run


:roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao:

CLASSIC!

soxinem1
01-15-2006, 09:44 AM
WHITE SOX ARE NUMBER 1!
Sarcastic Sox Fan Headlines Finally Wear Down Tribune
'We will give them the coverage they deserve. The White Sox are World Champions and we will treat them as such' - Sullivan
President Gore in town today, applauds Sox historic accomplishment
Current Weather conditions for Fantasyland: Hell has frozen over

kevin57
01-15-2006, 07:45 PM
Bob Howry Sees The Light
-says he used to hate the Cubs
-is now enlightened
-states what we've all been thinking: Sox pitching a fluke

buehrle4cy05
01-15-2006, 08:06 PM
Bears coaches reportedly caught watching White Sox film before game
Brutal play by Sox rubs off; costs Bears game
Page 2: Why if the coaches watched Cubs film, they would have seen the light and not been ****ing idiots.

faneidde
01-15-2006, 08:14 PM
Bears Not as Lucky as White Sox
Fall to Panthers
At least they didn't cheat like Sox to Win

itsnotrequired
01-15-2006, 08:17 PM
Tribune Co. pushes for Bears to return to Wrigley

"The team obviously cannot get it done on the South Side. A move to the North Side should bring a championship." - George Kune

eriqjaffe
01-16-2006, 10:12 AM
"PITCHING & DEFENSE" STRATEGY FAILS BEARS
"I knew it was too good to be true," says ex-Sox Rowand

Hitmen77
01-16-2006, 10:14 AM
Bears Super Bowl Dreams Over
- Panthers end bid for Chicago's 1st major sports title since '97-'98 Bulls
- With Bulls & Hawks struggling, Chicagoans now turn attention to Cubs for title hopes.

Internal Tribune Co. News:
Tribune Co. Names Michael Barrett, Bobby Howry Employees of the Month
- Duo lauded for properly promoting company product at the expense of the far superior competition

Hangar18
01-16-2006, 12:30 PM
Cub fans Hungry for winner
Tribune announces plans for new restaurant in CF
"Now fans can eat and not pay attention to the game too"

Wrigley demolit...er "expansion" continues
Cities most storied expansion on minds of Chicagoans as bears lose

RedHeadPaleHoser
01-16-2006, 01:47 PM
Sports Shocker

ST's Mariotti Leaving Town?
Unemployed Sox Fan Website Key Motivating Factor??

itsnotrequired
01-16-2006, 01:50 PM
White Sox unable to offer playoff tickets to season ticket holders

- A slap in the face to the handful of Sox "faithful"
- "Who would want them anyway?" questions White Sox brass

In other news, owner Reinsdorf buys new yacht.

miker
01-16-2006, 01:57 PM
ST's Mariotti Leaving Town?
As if my baseball life couldn't get even better!

Dan Mega
01-16-2006, 02:37 PM
Man killed in LA Hit and Run; Suspect is probably a Sox fan
Sullivan: We report it because its news

RedHeadPaleHoser
01-16-2006, 03:09 PM
As if my baseball life couldn't get even better!:gulp:

buehrle4cy05
01-16-2006, 03:18 PM
Tribune exclusive:
Cubs convention draws more than Chicago (AL) parade
"Best convention in Chicago" admits noted Sox fan Mike Downey

Hangar18
01-16-2006, 04:37 PM
SOX cant afford Green Seats
World Champs allegedly can only afford to replace Upper Deck
Sox finance outfield seats for 2007 Season

Tribune genorously donates used seats from Wrigley
Destitute SOX readily accepting seats from defunct Cook County Cheetahs too


SOX using ex-convicts and drunks for work
Can only do 5 seats a day

Hitmen77
01-16-2006, 05:51 PM
Sports Shocker

ST's Mariotti Leaving Town?
Unemployed Sox Fan Website Key Motivating Factor??

Is this true? Where did you hear this from?

BV2005
01-16-2006, 06:05 PM
"Bears Fall Short of the 2003 Cubs and Fail to Get to Confrence Championship Game"

RedHeadPaleHoser
01-16-2006, 06:25 PM
Is this true? Where did you hear this from?

There were rumors floating around before...all I did was Cubune-ize it to blame WSI for his leaving town.

MarySwiss
01-16-2006, 06:35 PM
There were rumors floating around before...all I did was Cubune-ize it to blame WSI for his leaving town.
Oh, please! Let it be true!

SOXSINCE'70
01-16-2006, 09:52 PM
There were rumors floating around before...all I did was Cubune-ize it to blame WSI for his leaving town.

If he did leave town,why was there an article from the man Dan McNeil
calls "Eddie Munster boy" this morning?? Is his godawful piece of tripe
syndicated?? God,I hope not!!

FedEx227
01-16-2006, 11:58 PM
Oh, please! Let it be true!

Oh no! Who else is going to write 5,000 words per day on what he hates!

BV2005
01-17-2006, 02:33 AM
"Cubs New 2006 Ad Campaign entitled: Grinder Rules"

Soxfanspcu11
01-17-2006, 02:59 AM
Bears lose and break the collective hearts of Chicago!
Bears early playoff exit destroys any hope of Chicago finally being able to celebrate a championship!
"They were sooooooooooo close! If they were just able to score more points then they would have won and then they would have won the Super Bowl! I mean, I don't know much about football, but everyone at Starbucks told me this was the case!" says local Chicago fan Steve McStevenson.

"It totally like sucks that like the Bears like lost! I mean like, I totally thought that like they would like win the game like once they like scored their like first points of the game. Like I just couldn't believe like they were so close but like couldn't like get it done. Like, I heard like that like they had like a chance to like tie the game in like the final minutes but like some inconsiderate Sox fan like totally like spilled a beer that was not Old Style like on to my like new sweater vest from like Abercrombie, so like, I had to go to the bathroom to like was it off and so like I missed like the final like minutes!" says Nicole 'North Side' Sherry.

Despite loss, Bears fans find something to believe in with Cubs spring training only a few months away.
"Sure the Bears lost, but the Cubs will bring pride back to Chicago. You just watch, there will be 38,000 amazing fans at Wrigley to root the Cubs on to their inevitable World Series victory!" says Brent 'wallstreet' Duensing.

"It really doesn't matter that the Bears lost on Sunday, the place was packed!!! The fact that the stadium was sold out proves that it doesn't matter if you win or lose, it's how many people come out to show support! I mean it's really the same thing when people rush our frat every year! We may be dead last in academics and community involvement but our Friday night parties are ALWAYS sold out and that, as everyone knows is the universal sign of importance!" says University of Illinois Junior Alex 'creeateen' Rogers.

Dan Mega
01-17-2006, 09:07 AM
City of Chicago Bans Smoking in Restaurants, Sox Fans Most Likely to Be Affected
Report: Cubs fans don't smoke, Old Style is enough for classiest fans in the nation

Baby Fisk
01-17-2006, 09:16 AM
Special Cubune Expose:

Who Is Stoking The Prior Trade Gossip?
Our team uncovers the truth...after all, it couldn't possibly be White Sox fans because they are poor, violent and illiterate and only a handful of them would be aware of the Internet in the first place. The Cubune investigates!

Dan Mega
01-17-2006, 09:52 AM
:D: Special Cubune Expose:

Who Is Stoking The Prior Trade Gossip?
Our team uncovers the truth...after all, it couldn't possibly be White Sox fans because they are poor, violent and illiterate and only a handful of them would be aware of the Internet in the first place. The Cubune investigates!

You know, I've always dreamed that one day a joke post of mine would be incorrectly quoted in the local or national media. Or that somehow a WSI joke post or thread that I started would make it on ESPN 1000 from a "reputable source". How sweet would that be

ChiSoxLifer
01-17-2006, 05:08 PM
95 PERCENT OF ENTIRE WHITE SOX FANBASE BUYS SEASON TICKETS

-In an unexplainable show of insanity, White Sox season ticket base up to 20,000.
-Let the bandwagoning begin!
-Biff Roberts, Cubune economist "We see this as a temporary uptick in the market due to unseasonably warm weather."

ChiSoxLifer
01-17-2006, 05:26 PM
:D:

You know, I've always dreamed that one day a joke post of mine would be incorrectly quoted in the local or national media. Or that somehow a WSI joke post or thread that I started would make it on ESPN 1000 from a "reputable source". How sweet would that be

INDISPUTABLE PROOF OF CONSPIRACY BY WHITE SOX FANS TO SPREAD BASEBALL PROPAGANDA

Rick Morrisey "That would never happen here at the Cubune. We're ecstatic that we were unable to uncover this conspiracy to bring you the TRUTH. We hold ourselves accountable. We don't just report the news. We make the news."

mark2olson
01-17-2006, 05:54 PM
Dusty finds a way to play rookies before season starts
Subs in wiley vets after top of first in simulated game

After being asked repeatedly Saturday how much he planned to play Matt Murton and Ronny Cedeno, an exasperated Baker finally said: "I can't play them until the season starts."(1) After a day of reflection, Baker found a way to play them before the season starts; simulated games. But not one inning passed before Baker subbed Jones for Murton after swapping Neifi for Cendeno...[more on page 2]

(1) 2006, Sullivan, P. Some touches of optimism, Chicagosports.chicagotribune.com,

TommyJohn
01-17-2006, 06:21 PM
Teddy Greenstein: Don't put Albert Belle in Hall
Albert Belle was a meanie and a poopypants. He never liked the fans
or his teammates. He hit a girl in the head with his bat. Worst of all,
whenever I asked him for a quote, he would swear at me and threaten
to give me wedgies and make me cry. So now I am getting even. I'm
so glad his career ended due to injury.

Is Next Year Santo's Turn?
All Tribune reporters ask what does one of history's greatest guys ever
have to do to get elected?

kevin57
01-17-2006, 09:52 PM
Sox Sign Crede For Only One Year.
--sure sign the indispensable 3rd baseman wants out after next year
--continued mistakes by Kenny Williams in negotiating with players

pdr
01-17-2006, 11:07 PM
Sox Settle for Crede

Oh...did we say "for"? We meant "with".

thomas35forever
01-18-2006, 12:14 AM
White Sox re-sign steroid abuser Crede
Why would they waste their money on him? He was never good until last season. Steroids most likely the explanation for his sudden surge in the clutch. Did he inject himself before coming to the plate during games? The Tribune investigates. pg. 3

Jerome
01-18-2006, 01:05 AM
It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

-All of Chicago gets past Bears loss with the magic and wonder that is the Cubs Convention
-Visiting from Iowa? Check out the Food Section for restaurant reviews
-Say hello to a new generation of heroes in Matt Murton, Juan Pierre, and Ronny Cedeno

maurice
01-18-2006, 05:04 PM
Classic may hurt Cubs
Tourney could pinch catching
Sox re-sign Crede

- - -

Oh, wait. That's the actual sequence from the "baseball" portion of today's cover.
:rolleyes:

TommyJohn
01-19-2006, 09:43 AM
White Sox fan ejected from Bulls game after fight with player wife
"The way I see it, it had to be a White Sox fan. A Cub fan would
never do anything like this." Said a Cub official who witnessed
last night's altercation. "I think it may be the same guy who killed
the ivy."

Morrissey: White Sox fans: Is America safe from them anywhere?

Hangar18
01-19-2006, 10:01 AM
Cubs going to the Dogs
Innovative organization to let Dogs into Wrigley
League 1st say officials

eriqjaffe
01-19-2006, 10:10 AM
Prior Injured After Being Thrown From Mechanical Bull At Cubs Convention
Ace Expected To Be Sidelined Until All-Star Break

MadetoOrta
01-19-2006, 11:13 AM
US Attorney investigating possible brainwashing of Naperville elementary schoolchildren who cheered wildly at the mention of "White Sox" during school musical. "Next year, when we host the cubs convention at McCormick Place, we'll provide all Naperville kids free admission. When they see how great it is to be a cub fan, we'll get them back!" Cub official quoted as saying.

VenturaSoxFan23
01-19-2006, 02:10 PM
Pitching Machine Scandal!

Sox UD Game Actually Clocks Pitches 5-10 Miles Faster; A Dollar Buys You A "Sox Pride" Like You've Never Believed Before
(Cubs Pool Money To Buy Said Machine Instead Of Juan Pierre's Arbitration; Prior's Up To 107MPH)

We Give You The Scoop, Pages C6-8

Hitmen77
01-19-2006, 03:12 PM
US Attorney investigating possible brainwashing of Naperville elementary schoolchildren who cheered wildly at the mention of "White Sox" during school musical. "Next year, when we host the cubs convention at McCormick Place, we'll provide all Naperville kids free admission. When they see how great it is to be a cub fan, we'll get them back!" Cub official quoted as saying.

Funny how decades of endless Cubbie/Tribune/WGN/Cub-loving-, Sox-hating-media brainwashing can be beaten back by a little thing called a WORLD SERIES CHAMPIONSHIP! :cool:

DMarte708
01-19-2006, 05:07 PM
White Sox fan ejected from Bulls game after fight with player wife
"The way I see it, it had to be a White Sox fan. A Cub fan would
never do anything like this." Said a Cub official who witnessed
last night's altercation. "I think it may be the same guy who killed
the ivy."

Morrissey: White Sox fans: Is America safe from them anywhere?

:knue
"YES, another excuse to cite William Ligue! I have a follow up story on William Ligue and Eric Dybas sitting idle on my disk just for circumstances such as these."

The Wall
01-19-2006, 06:26 PM
Shocking admission on national TV: Sox PR Director Katie Kirby is a lifelong Cubs fan
Zorn: There are no Sox fans. Not even on their own payroll. P3
Sullivan: Detailed investigation of Sox season ticket holders. P5

thomas35forever
01-19-2006, 10:32 PM
Visiting player's wife attacked at another game played by a team owned by Reinsdorf
Why does this keep happening at Reinsdorf-owned team games? Bulls and Sox fans obviously have no respect for visiting players' wives. Cubs fans would never do such a thing.

IlliniSox4Life
01-19-2006, 10:47 PM
VENEZUELA KICKS GUILLEN OUT!
Sox Manager to become US Citizen
"This is why we need more strict border policies"
-Rick Morrisey

TheDarkGundam
01-19-2006, 10:49 PM
OZZIE GUILLEN TO BECOME U.S. CITIZEN
Reportedly wanted to be, as Guillen said, "more like William Ligue"*
Guillen obviously not loyal to home country, what does this say about his loyalty to, and future with the Sox?


*quote may not be real

IlliniSox4Life
01-21-2006, 03:26 AM
SOX NATION WANTS KG!!!
WHITE SOX FANS SO JEALOUS OF MINNESOTA TEAMS THEY TRY TO TRADE FOR KEVIN GARNETT!
From Page 3 Interview With Minnesota Fan: "First off, the Timberwolves ain't trading him with the idea that they would lose sponsors and fans if they do that. That ain't happening. Second of all, KG wants to play for a contender.... I expect KG to retire in Minnesota. He will win a championship in Minnesota too. It's bound to be."

Hitmen77
01-21-2006, 10:51 AM
Anti-Cub/Anti-Trib Site Reaches 1,000,000 posts!

- More affluent Sox fans waste time on WSI, ignore plight of impoverished fellow-fans who smoke crack right in front of the Cell's ticket windows.

- Gary Coleman, man puking seek royalties for having their pictures used 10,000 times by Sox fans.

Railsplitter
01-21-2006, 11:19 AM
GUILLEN A TRAITOR
SAYS HUGO CHAVEZ

VenturaSoxFan23
01-21-2006, 11:46 AM
Crackdown On South Side

Baseball Club Encourages Illegal Immigration Practices; INS To Investigate Contreras, Iguchi For Role In Guillen Ceremony

(Sammy Sosa Not Available For Comment, Says Tribune Correspondent)

maurice
01-23-2006, 03:02 PM
Immigration Scandal
Sox cheated! Never would have won without dangerous foreigners.
Sox led by a manager, coach, pitcher, etc. from terrorist Venezuela.
Roster also featured two players from communist Cuba and a bullpen
catcher from Korea!!!
Links to evil-doers like Castro, Kim, Chavez suspected.
Don't even get us started on those rotten Japanese!
Buchanan: We need to build a wall to save pure baseball.
Unscrupulous Selig, Reinsdorf deny WBC / Bin Laden ties.
KW cries "diversity," but policies aggravate pure-American fan-base
(except poor, crack-smoking neighbors who can't afford tickets).
Makes matters worse by ditching All-American superstar Harris.

Harris signs with America's #2 team.
Red Sox finish second behind the Cubs in all-important "popularity index."
Harris destined for many MVP seasons playing 2B or CF or something.
Unpatriotic KW stuck him behind a foreigner.

Cubs receive clean bill of health from DHS
Hendry avoids scandal by acquiring only French-Americans.
Cuts foreign-sounding Garciapara (what kind of name is that?)
Confirms that Derrek Lee is not Chinese.
Zambrano, Ramirez actually from Omaha.

SOXPHILE
01-23-2006, 04:54 PM
Somber Sox Fest ?
Has a lack of demand for tickets to this coming weekend's Soxfest caused it to be moved to suburban Motel 6 ?
-Eric Zorn investigates to see if rumors are true that Chicago American League Baseball Club has been kicked out of and banned from all higher end downtown hotels. "We just don't want to be associated with this type of organization" an anonymous source tells Eric

-Low volume of ticket sales and general lack of interest along with club's inability to afford rental costs at downtown hotels; Could turn into a winfall for suburban motels like Motel 6 and La Quinta Inn, as dozens of fans are expected to show up in lobby and arcade room of whichever establishment winds up as host

Plus: Paul Sullivans list of 20 lowpoints of Soxfests past.

Dan Mega
01-23-2006, 05:20 PM
REPORT: OZZIE LOVES CUBS PLAYERS MORE THAN SOX PLAYERS*
Sullivan: Ozzie would look great wearing a sweater-vest
*Oops: Thats a real story in today's paper

ndu3t4
01-23-2006, 05:53 PM
Cubs Sign Miller!
This deal could make the pitching staff that brings Chicago its first championship in almost a century.

DaleJRFan
01-23-2006, 06:04 PM
Cubs receive clean bill of health from DHS
Hendry avoids scandal by acquiring only French-Americans.
Cuts foreign-sounding Garciaparra (what kind of name is that?)
Confirms that Derrek Lee is not Chinese.
Zambrano, Ramirez actually from Omaha.


CUHHHH - LASSIC!!!!

:roflmao:

TornLabrum
01-23-2006, 10:10 PM
Sox snub longtime organist
Pressy imitator demoted to part-time status against will
Unimpeachable source on WSI message boards correctly places blame on Sox management
http://www.emerchandise.com/images/p/SOP/pzMTSOP0018.jpg
Tribune Correspondent "Hangar 18"

Hitmen77
01-23-2006, 10:17 PM
Classless Sox Dump Faust From Night Games
- Organist imitated Cubs and Harry Caray's 7th-inning stretch tradition
- Dangerous neighborhood a factor in her refusal to work night games

Paul Sullivan: A look back to 1981 when the Sox dumped Harry Caray.

santo=dorf
01-23-2006, 10:19 PM
SOX ORGANIST DOESN'T WANTS NIGHT JOB
Fears pot smokers, drive-bys, and shirtless Ligue family members.

Cubs simulated rotation almost complete!
Hendry signs Miller; Kevin Brown next?

TheDarkGundam
01-23-2006, 10:23 PM
SOX FANS OBSESSED WITH PICKING "FAVORITES"
Clearly unable to find Baseball related topics to discuss, Sox fans resort to discussing, for example, "Favorite Smashmouth song" and "Favorite hairstyle" (the mullet).

ChiSoxLifer
01-23-2006, 11:49 PM
CUBS SIGN WADE MILLER

-Immediately placed on injured reserve.

He will be added to the 40-man roster but also will be placed on the disabled list until he is ready to pitch, which could be in late May or, more likely, sometime in June.

Hendry - "Our simulated pitching staff needs a true simulated innings eater that can take the ball every 5th simulated day."

IlliniSox4Life
01-24-2006, 12:57 AM
NANCY AND JERRY JOUST: FAUST GETS THE OUST
Cheap Sox, fans weep, Reinny won't give Kenny a Penny
Tribune Buys a Rhyming Dictionary
See Page 4 for more

Hitmen77
01-25-2006, 10:14 AM
Wrigley Field Renovations!
- Unique "batters-eye" lounge to be installed in center field
- Innovative "fan corridor" being added to perimeter of bleachers.
(* not far off from the real headline :rolleyes: )

Fans excited to experience these modern features in Chicago beginning on April 7.

Guest Editorial: Copy Cat Sox
- Wrigley-fication of US SellYourSoul Field moving full steam ahead!
- Green seats are yet another pathetic attempt at imitating Wrigley Field

miker
01-25-2006, 11:06 AM
Downtown Hyatt to Host
Copycat Baseball Convention
Low Turnout Expected, No Traffic Problems Anticipated
Some "Championship" Trophy Rumored To Be On Display

Dan Mega
01-25-2006, 11:21 AM
BREAKING NEWS: SOX HARBORED CRIMINAL MASTERMIND
Prosecuters say former Gov. George Ryan used illegal donations to attend Sox games
Sullivan: I always knew that park was full of dirty, stinkin' Republicans

thomas35forever
01-25-2006, 07:59 PM
Sox dumping, demoting club old-timers
Shortly after demoting organist Faust to afternoon games only, the "world champs" have lost team "legend" Frank Thomas to the A's. Are they dumping everyone that's been with the club since the Old Comiskey Park days? More on pages 2-9.

Hitmen77
01-26-2006, 09:02 AM
Thomas Finally Finds Respect in Oakland
- Best Sox Player Ever Deserved Better Treatment from Former Team
- Joins Fisk, McDowell, many, many others who were treated like crap by the Sox.
We never gave him any respect when he was with the Sox, but now that the Sox let him go, we'll tell you how great he is and how classless the Sox were for dumping him

Paul Sullivan: Frank Thomas's Worst Moments With the Sox (reprinted from July)

miker
01-26-2006, 10:44 AM
Harry Caray's Restaurant Contaminated
by Shrine to "Other" Baseball Team
Cub fans, Tribune, protest
Zagat's changes restaurant's rating
Food Critic: "what where they thinking? It's all ruined..."

SoxFan78
01-26-2006, 10:58 AM
Selfish Konerko turns down Captain role!
Turns back on team that re-signed him.

Hangar18
01-26-2006, 11:19 AM
Thomas Finally Finds Respect in Oakland
- Best Sox Player Ever Deserved Better Treatment from Former Team
- Joins Fisk, McDowell, many, many others who were treated like crap by the Sox.
We never gave him any respect when he was with the Sox, but now that the Sox let him go, we'll tell you how great he is and how classless the Sox were for dumping him


HAHHAHAHAAHHAAA. Remember how both media outlets wrote page after page of glowing articles on how great Magglio was?

miker
01-26-2006, 11:25 AM
HAHHAHAHAAHHAAA. Remember how both media outlets wrote page after page of glowing articles on how great Magglio was?
Both media outlets wrote glowing reviews of Mike Cameron after he hit four homers against us...I'm not holding my breath waiting for the respect of the Chicago media.

Hitmen77
01-26-2006, 11:34 AM
Both media outlets wrote glowing reviews of Mike Cameron after he hit four homers against us...I'm not holding my breath waiting for the respect of the Chicago media.

I forgot about that. Why aren't they saying anything now about the Cameron for Konerko trade? :D:

This type of coverage has been going on for years. Heck, I remember when the Sox traded Ivan Calderon for Tim Raines. Raines struggled his first half with the Sox while Calderon made the All-Star team for the Expos and the media went on and on about how stupid the Sox were to make this trade. But, after that Raines turned out to be a great addition for the Sox and Calderon was soon out of baseball and there was nary a mention of the trade again.

TommyJohn
01-26-2006, 11:54 AM
I forgot about that. Why aren't they saying anything now about the Cameron for Konerko trade? :D:

This type of coverage has been going on for years. Heck, I remember when the Sox traded Ivan Calderon for Tim Raines. Raines struggled his first half with the Sox while Calderon made the All-Star team for the Expos and the media went on and on about how stupid the Sox were to make this trade. But, after that Raines turned out to be a great addition for the Sox and Calderon was soon out of baseball and there was nary a mention of the trade again.

Same thing with the Hoyt for Guillen trade. In 1985 Hoyt started out 13-3
and started the All-Star game. Harry Caray interviewed him on the old
"10th inning" show and exuberently introduced him as "the hottest pitcher
in baseball!" I remember a game where Guillen made a crucial error the same
day that Hoyt got a big win. It was played up in big headlines in the
Sun-Times the next day.

Is it necessary for me to go on?

Hitmen77
01-26-2006, 12:19 PM
Same thing with the Hoyt for Guillen trade. In 1985 Hoyt started out 13-3
and started the All-Star game. Harry Caray interviewed him on the old
"10th inning" show and exuberently introduced him as "the hottest pitcher
in baseball!" I remember a game where Guillen made a crucial error the same
day that Hoyt got a big win. It was played up in big headlines in the
Sun-Times the next day.

Is it necessary for me to go on?

Ozzie who? Wasn't he that SS that wasn't as good as Dunston?:tongue:

Ok, thread hijack over and now back to mocking the Cubune!

The Racehorse
01-26-2006, 01:09 PM
'A Million Little Pieces' Author Big Sox Fan!
-- Book same as Sox; popularity fiction based - pure fabrication
-- Cubbies voted most endearing team by decendents of Pulitzer

soxinem1
01-26-2006, 03:07 PM
Both media outlets wrote glowing reviews of Mike Cameron after he hit four homers against us...I'm not holding my breath waiting for the respect of the Chicago media.

Not only that, I remember a few Times and trib columnists actually saying that the Sox were fleeced in that trade with the Reds. The phrase that sticks out was something like 'though Konerko has been a decent run producer on paper, his inconsistent half/half seasons have frustrated the team and fans alike. Plus, the White Sox have not been able to fill the CF hole left by Cameron's departure'.

Cameron is s decent player, but I'll make that trade again any day.

IUPeterman
01-26-2006, 04:04 PM
White Sox Players Harrass Public
Reports state multiple violations of "Do Not Call List"

Kuzman
01-26-2006, 04:28 PM
White Sox Players Harrass Public
Reports state multiple violations of "Do Not Call List"

:rolling: :roflmao: :kneeslap:

maurice
01-26-2006, 05:38 PM
Area Restaurant Acquires Another Infamous Ball.
Grand Slam tainted by Sox persistent cheating.
McGrath: They should blow up this one too.
Destruction of ball will make up for blasphemous World Series
appearance and ensure Cubbie title in 2006.

Dan Mega
01-27-2006, 11:12 AM
The Cell Empty for Soxfest
Sullivan: Ligue was only fan going to show up before he got another DUI
Couch: Existence of Sox fan myth to be challenged on hit show "Mythbusters"

Hangar18
01-27-2006, 11:35 AM
Chicago Still a Cub Town
Poll of NY fans say SOX are still afterthought
Most New Yorkers feel the more "uptown" cubs the way to go

SOX take page from Cubs
Southsiders mimic the more popular Cub Convention
by holding similar convention this weekend
Hundreds expected
Extra security precautions to be taken by Hyatt

Comiskey Renovations
USCellular to feature a bar in RF similar to CF Lounge in Wrigley
Outfield Concourse also eerily similar to popular Wrigley Bleacher concourse

VASoxfan1
01-27-2006, 11:52 AM
'A Million Little Pieces' Author Big Sox Fan!
-- Book same as Sox; popularity fiction based - pure fabrication
-- Cubbies voted most endearing team by decendents of Pulitzer

i laughed for a solid minute about this one

maurice
01-27-2006, 11:57 AM
Case Closed!
Grace better than Thomas.
Ancient Cub-Sox debate resolved with stats.
Thomas' silly claim that he hit well disproved.
Grace had more career doubles and triples!
Thomas edge in R, RBI, HR, BB, AVE, OBP, SLG, OPS & MVPs irrelevant.
Biased claims that Thomas is an all-time great hitter discredited.

Eric Karros also better than Thomas.
Had higher batting average in 2003 dream season.

BTW, have we mentioned lately that Thomas is evil incarnate?
McGrath: Keep Thomas out of the Hall. Unfair genetic advantage made him tall!
Review of whitesoxinteractive.com shows that Sox fans hate him too.

Hangar18
01-27-2006, 12:17 PM
1998. The Season Chicago will Remember Forever
Cubs historic Wild Card Championship remembered in 5 part series
North-siders were the first team to bring a Championship to Chicago

Own a Wild Card Champions Tshirt, courtesy of WGN

Harry Caray's Renovations to include Champions Room for Cubs
Expected title in 06 to be housed in separate area
Parade route to be finalized by OpeningDay, may include northern suburbs
Grant DePorter explains why his restaurant is 98% dedicated to Cubs

White Sox Randy
01-27-2006, 01:22 PM
DISLOYAL SOX STRIKE AGAINfire more employees that led to so-called championship -
Read list of faithful that arrogant Sox have discarded:
1. John Rooney
2. Orlando Hernandez
3. Timo Perez
4. Willie Harris
5. Frank Thomas
6. Luis Vizcaino
7. Damaso Marte
8. Aaron Rowand
9. Nancy Faust (almost)
10. John Cocktosin (peanut vendorshowed up drunk a few times so what)

Paul Sullivan exclusive - asks CUB fans why sox are so mean and CUBS are so nice ? Are people born with more class on the northside? Genetisist explains!
Coming Sunday ways to avoid being shot at Sox game - don't let this happen to you.

miker
01-27-2006, 02:39 PM
Is it just me or are more "articles" showing up after the Cubune headlines in this thread?

TheDarkGundam
01-27-2006, 03:21 PM
Nothing Happening this Weekend at Hyatt Regency
So don't even bother going there.

The Racehorse
01-28-2006, 08:09 AM
Indiana Sox Fans Storm The Hyatt!!
- City of Hammond empties; attends SoxFest en mass
- Dusty proven right; all Chicagoans wear Cubbie blue

The Racehorse
01-28-2006, 08:17 AM
1998. The Season Chicago will Remember Forever
Cubs historic Wild Card Championship remembered in 5 part series
North-siders were the first team to bring a Championship to Chicago

Own a Wild Card Champions Tshirt, courtesy of WGN

Harry Caray's Renovations to include Champions Room for Cubs
Expected title in 06 to be housed in separate area
Parade route to be finalized by OpeningDay, may include northern suburbs
Grant DePorter explains why his restaurant is 98% dedicated to Cubs

1998 The Season Chicago will Remember Forever & Champions Room for Cubs... This stuff is GOLD! :D:

soxinem1
01-28-2006, 08:48 AM
DOZENS OF SOX FANS GATHER AT HYATT
While Cell sits abandoned like Tiger Stadium, crazed, attention-starved Sox faithful gather at Ligue booth awaiting seminar
Discuss violence strategies aimed at Cub fans, future games

The Racehorse
01-28-2006, 12:38 PM
Classless Sox Dump Superstar Thomas
- MLB GM's poll; The Big Hurt greatest hitter of all time!!
- Dusty; "AL power shifts west, expect Cubs vs A's WS"

:tomatoaward

Hitmen77
01-28-2006, 12:50 PM
SoxFest Swan Song at Hyatt?
- Lack of interest a factor in leaving large downtown hotel
- Super 8 in Calumet City Possible '07 Host

whitesoxwin
01-28-2006, 03:05 PM
Riot at the Hyatt

Thousands of Drunk, Unruly, and totally Classless Southsiders invade Downtown.

Police on high alert. National Guard on standby by Gubernatorial decree.

Governor Blagojevich: "Everybody knows how White Sox act...they have no respect for anything or anybody".

TommyJohn
01-28-2006, 03:34 PM
CBS Report: Sox fans stuck in past
"They are all pathetic losers. They need to cling to that one moment
in their lives where they felt like a little something" says noted shrink
about 2005 World Series title

Super Bowl XX: A look back!
Where are the Punky QB, Danimal, Fridge, Samurai and all the rest of
those lovable guys?

Ligue gets tattoo
Passionate White Sox fan best remembered for vicious attack on
Tom Gamboa, story on pg.2 plus a recap of that Sept. 2002 night

soxinem1
01-28-2006, 04:13 PM
HYATT TO SOX: YER OUTTA HERE!
Move to smaller Palmer House will make tiny Sox crowds look bigger - Williams; Hotel Zanzibar also possible choice
Dransfeld to sign AAA deal today

The Racehorse
01-31-2006, 06:03 AM
Sox Rotting in Hell!!
Tribune admits biased baseball coverage
- Rick Morrisey "We're throwing ourselves at the Cubs!"

TomBradley72
01-31-2006, 09:42 AM
Rick Morrissey on the unthinkable: Could Chicago become a Sox town?
(oh...sorry...this was he actual headline on the front page of the Tribune this morning)

Hangar18
01-31-2006, 11:20 AM
Rick Morrissey on the unthinkable: Could Chicago become a Sox town?
(oh...sorry...this was he actual headline on the front page of the Tribune this morning)

Morrissey, Downey and SULLIVAN are the worst, with Sullivan being a propoganda hack. Sullivan is trying very hard to become the Tribunes version of Sun-Times Information Minister/Jackal Mike "Yellow-but-Handsome" Kiley. These guys are embarrassing to real journalists everywhere.

TomBradley72
01-31-2006, 12:37 PM
Morrissey, Downey and SULLIVAN are the worst, with Sullivan being a propoganda hack. Sullivan is trying very hard to become the Tribunes version of Sun-Times Information Minister/Jackal Mike "Yellow-but-Handsome" Kiley. These guys are embarrassing to real journalists everywhere.

I read his article this morning a few times....it's like a Sienfeld episode: about nothing. He pulls a 3:1 Cub fan/Sox fan ratio out of his butt. Dismisses the 1.8MM at the parade/rally as both Cub fans and Sox fans, says the parade for the Cubs would be much larger (not sure how that could be possible), and then just states over and over again...even if the WSox win again...nothing will change. I think the media in general is very out of touch with how much things have changed.

White Sox Randy
01-31-2006, 12:42 PM
Despite lucky WS win, Cubs still better baseball team page 3

Newer but scummier Sox park outdrawn by magnificent Cubs park every year since time began page 6

7 straight losing decades just makes Cubs cuter and even more popular page 9

1969 Cubs clearly Chicago's favorite team ever - a look back all this week at 2nd place team page 12

Why do angry Sox fans have inferiority complex ? no story just headline

SOXPHILE
01-31-2006, 01:09 PM
...Oh yeah ? So what if the Sox won the Series ?! Cubbies are still more popular. Nah nah nah nah nah.

-We say half the people at the parade were actually Cub fans

-Latest Trib survey shows Cubs are more popular nationwide too. So take that !

-Plus, inside, Eric Zorn makes fondue.
"...I spilled some on my new sweater vest, and wonder how I'm going to wash it out. You do know what fondue is, right Sox fans ? Oh, of course not, why would you know about something as classy and trendy as that, let alone washing anything ? And don't throw that 'World Series' stuff at me again, because that doesn't matter..."

maurice
01-31-2006, 01:50 PM
1/30/06: "Official figures fabricated: Nobody actually attended Victory Parade and SoxFest."

3/3/06: "Cubs are still way better than Sox; Sullivan in Arizona: Why the Tigers will win the AL Central."

4/12/06: "Nobody cares about the Sox; Everybody wants to sit in new / historic Wrigley bleachers."

6/22/06: "More fake figures: Spike in Sox attendance fraudulent; ticket sales actually declined."

7/11/06: "Voter fraud suspected; number of Sox in All-Star Game much greater than number of Cubs."

8/1/06: "Scandal! CSN has been digitally covering empty seats at Cell with fake CGI fans."

8/24/06: "Why the Cubs are still better than the Sox, even though the Cubs are in 5th place and the Sox are in 1st."

9/19/06: "Cubs may be 32 games out, but still certain to win Wild Card Championship; Sox choke expected any minute."

9/30/06: "Guys . . . PLEASE stop going to Sox games; you're making us sad. We're serious, cut it out!"

10/16/06: "Sox poised to win 2nd consecutive championship? You better stop it, or I'm telling mom!"

RedHeadPaleHoser
01-31-2006, 04:22 PM
CUBS HOSTING WS White Sox TEAM ON FIELD IN 2006

"Only Cubs field two WS teams back to back"......the Red Sox and White Sox.

In Tomorrow's Sports Section - Frank Thomas tells the truth about "Hell" on the South Side
"I feel sorry for Sammy...no wonder he needed to go to the Cubs"

Hitmen77
01-31-2006, 10:20 PM
Paranoid Sox Fans Refuse to Believe Trib Supports Their Team!

bottom pg. 1: Attendance, attendance, attendance!! Chicago was never a Sox town and never will be.

page 2: Sox victory parade attendance high thanks to large number of Cub fans. Cubs parade would have put Sox parade to shame.

page 3: Workers installing green seats at sterile ballmall complain about pot fumes wafting in from nearby dangerous neighborhood.

Tempo: Wrigley Field Renovation. America's Perfect Ballpark Set to Get Even Better!

Soxfanspcu11
01-31-2006, 10:41 PM
Paranoid Sox Fans Refuse to Believe Trib Supports Their Team!

bottom pg. 1: Attendance, attendance, attendance!! Chicago was never a Sox town and never will be.

page 2: Sox victory parade attendance high thanks to large number of Cub fans. Cubs parade would have put Sox parade to shame.

page 3: Workers installing green seats at sterile ballmall complain about pot fumes wafting in from nearby dangerous neighborhood.

Tempo: Wrigley Field Renovation. America's Perfect Ballpark Set to Get Even Better!





I thought The Cubune headlines were supposed to be funny, meaning fake. All of these stories ran in the ACTUAL Tribune!

Chisox003
01-31-2006, 10:55 PM
I can't believe this thread started close to 7 months ago ...... 2000 headlines and counting!! :o: :cool:

Go Cubs
-Seriously. We're done faking it. **** the Sox. Yeah, we said it. **** them, their fans, their park, and their "Championship." Who needs a ****ing "Championship" anyway? The whole "winning" idea is over rated as it is. Beer, broads and benjamins - the true killer B's. Do you see the words "winning," "baseball," or "championship" in there? Of course not. That's the Cubbie way. That's the Tribune way. Cont. pg. 2

thomas35forever
02-01-2006, 12:03 AM
Bush's plans for Sox cut from State of the Union address
Wants to strip World Series title from Sox and award it to Astros by default for upsetting his beloved parents by sweeping their team.

Hastert: "It would have been too upsetting to talk about in front of a worldwide television audience. If the Cubbies can't win a championship, then surely the President's parents' favorite team should."

More on pgs. 2-18

chisoxfanatic
02-01-2006, 12:17 AM
Jesus Prior Ready For His Typical Cy Young Season (Page 1-25)
Dusty Baker Promises World Series Title On Northside (Page 26-32)
Woman is mugged 10 miles south of Sox Park (See Front Page)

TDog
02-01-2006, 12:36 AM
I read his article this morning a few times....it's like a Sienfeld episode: about nothing. ...

Not to go off-topic, but Seinfeld was about everything, the minutia of four people's lives, and featured multiple converging plotlines. More to the point, I didn't read the article you referenced, but I don't see why it should upset anyone.

I was in Tucson during the Cubs Convention and heard from baseball people that Jim Hendry and Dusty Baker were booed. I don't care who is more popular if their team's leaders are getting and my team is getting nearly 2 million people to come to a victory parade.

So what if he says, "If the Cubs won, ...." If I were to become master over time and space, I'd get to go to more Sox games.

Neither those things of those things are going to happen. Why get upset?

TomBradley72
02-01-2006, 08:35 AM
[quote=TDog]Not to go off-topic, but Seinfeld was about everything, the minutia of four people's lives, and featured multiple converging plotlines. More to the point, [quote]

There's a whole Seinfeld episode where Jerry/George are pushing a tv show concept...where the show is about "nothing"....that's what I was referring to. Larry David and Seinfield have both said that was similar to how they actually thought of the show..and when it was renewed felt huge pressure to keep coming up with more episodes "about nothing".

Now...back to the thread...whatever happened to www.cubune.com (http://www.cubune.com)?

Hitmen77
02-01-2006, 08:46 AM
I thought The Cubune headlines were supposed to be funny, meaning fake. All of these stories ran in the ACTUAL Tribune!

Alas, I just couldn't top the outrageousness of the real Cubune headlines. Sad, isn't it?

Now...back to the thread...whatever happened to www.cubune.com? (http://www.cubune.com?)

Yeah, I'm eagerly awaiting it!

Hitmen77
02-01-2006, 08:50 AM
Smokers, Sox fans help boost city revenue*
- Often from the same tatooed hoodlums
- Other vices that are bad for you also help fill city coffers

Morrissey: If the Cubs had won, the revenue from the Sox would look like that from a kid's lemonade stand.

Eric Zorn: Why Cub fans think smokers and Sox fans are bad for the city.

Sullivan: Revenue doesn't make up for the fact that The Cell is a terrible ballpark.



* real headline: http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/chi-0602010237feb01,1,3629468.story?coll=chi-news-hed

chisoxfanatic
02-01-2006, 10:24 AM
Sox Fan Seen Stealing World Series Trophy, Which Rightfully Belongs To Cubs

SOXPHILE
02-01-2006, 10:28 AM
President Gives State of Union

-No mention of White Sox and their "championship" further proof how irrelevant they really are

-Rick Morrisey: You can be darn sure that if the Cubs had won the World Series, he would have mentioned them several times, and even called for a national holiday to honor them

Chip Z'nuff
02-01-2006, 10:49 AM
BUSH "SOX FANS, U.S. ADDICTED TO OIL"
-Driving cars through War Torn Neighborhood During World Series wasted 1 Billion barrels of oil.

Hangar18
02-01-2006, 10:59 AM
Chicagoans not swayed by Sox Championship
Online poll reveals harsh truth
Sox may be Champs of baseball, but Cubs are Champs of Fans

"the cubs are way more funner" -Deeanna, 25, Grand Rapids MI
"everyone knows they cheated" -Zach, 31, Evanston, IL
"this will always be a cubs town" -Brittney, 18, RoundLake IL
"they cant even get their own fans to go to their own parade! it was totally
half cub fans there!!! go cubbeees!" -Zoe, 26, LincolnPk Chicago
"lowest ratings in world series history. says it all" -Jeff, 30, JeffPk Chicago
"the Yankees, RedSox and Cubs are the premier franchises. Sox fans are just jealous they dont have as many WS wins as us" - Linda, 21 OldTown,Chicago
"that neighborhood is still pretty bad. no thanks. go cubbs!" Mike, 32 chicago

miker
02-02-2006, 05:11 PM
Fan Blog Goes 24 Hours Without Mocking Tribune

SOXintheBURGH
02-02-2006, 05:15 PM
Fan Blog Goes 24 Hours Without Mocking Tribune

:rolling:

Best one yet. :gulp:

Baby Fisk
02-02-2006, 05:19 PM
Fan Blog Goes 24 Hours Without Mocking Tribune

Subhead:

Loathsome Sox fans preoccupied with child-hating thread.

ondafarm
02-02-2006, 08:30 PM
White Sox to Receive Presidential Pardon on Feb 13th!!!

maurice
02-03-2006, 04:04 PM
NBC5 Drops Sport Anchors In Time For Spring Training
WGN & Trib follow suit by dropping Sox coverage
Morrisey: Decisions caused by lack of interest in Sox Championship
McGrath: Coverage of more popular Cubbies certain to continue


Antonio Davis' Wife Arrested
Suspected of being crack-smoking Sox fan
Unruly fan behavior unknown at Wrigley
Will she repent & realize that blacks hate Sox?

mrfourni
02-03-2006, 05:13 PM
White Sox Manager to Appear in Hard-core Pornographic Magazine
-White Sox have no regard for family values

Hangar18
02-03-2006, 05:26 PM
NBC-5 To Drop Sports Coverage
Faced with giving SOX more coverage, NBC instead cancels sports segments
"Its a great move on their part, one others will follow" -George Knue, Tribune
Industry analysts say other stations may follow suit

Sox Town? Not if the networks can help it!
Cbs-2 and Abc-7 in talks to also stop reporting Sports if SOX start strong
Landmark decision has Tribune considering dropping Baseball coverage also

Interest in Baseball at all time low in Chicago
Experts say lack of Chicago team in playoffs a problem
FOX, ESPN to start separate Tournament
asks MLB for permission to start Invitation-only Tournament,
not based on W-L Records
Teams from major-markets like Cubs and Mets would be yearly contestants

Morrissey: Sox to blame for sagging MLB attendance

nasox
02-03-2006, 06:57 PM
Sox Fans Pick On Innocent North Suburban Jewish Girl
Angry They Never Had Their Own Music Video

The Racehorse
02-03-2006, 07:37 PM
Sox Park & the Super Bowl
Is there enough security to go around?
Guest editor Moriotti's expose sent to DHS
"Despite empty stadium, terrorist threat exists. Sox fans are crafty"

churlish
02-05-2006, 03:53 AM
Cubs Unbeaten Streak Now Over 4 Months!!!
Dusty: "After the Red Sox won, anything's possible. Chicago deserves a champion."
Inside: Exclusive interview with Chuck Norris on the Cubbies, churros, and his hatred of GM Kenny Williams

Hitmen77
02-06-2006, 02:30 PM
Breaking News: Cubs More Popular Than Sox!
- We haven't mentioned this in 3 days, so it's worth repeating.
- We'll constantly bring it up and skew the numbers, then we'll blame Sox fans with being obsessed with the Cubs.
- Remember kids, it's more important to be popular than to be good!

Dan Mega
02-06-2006, 04:02 PM
CUBS HAVEN'T LOST IN 5 MONTHS!
Sullivan: Sox haven't won since November, proof that they were a fluke

maurice
02-06-2006, 04:05 PM
Sox Manager Rips the Greatest Coach in NBA History

kevin57
02-06-2006, 09:19 PM
Sox Manager Rips the Greatest Coach in NBA History

You, the Fan, are forced to choose...will it be the Sox or the Bulls?

Hangar18
02-07-2006, 09:14 AM
Networks snub SOX ...again
ESPN's decision to televise Steelers parade proof nobody loves SOX

pdr
02-07-2006, 03:54 PM
Steelers win by cheating, JUST LIKE WHITE SOX

Bill Leavy and Doug Edding: Separated at Birth?

IlliniSox4Life
02-07-2006, 04:35 PM
https://netfiles.uiuc.edu/kshanks2/cheatersb.JPG?uniq=2p537f

CHEATERS WEAR BLACK AND WHITE STRIPES!
Secret Cheater Uniform Revealed!
Pg. 4: Cubs never cheat. Sammy Who? Cork What?

Kwrubac
02-07-2006, 04:49 PM
Jim Hendry (Nobel Prize Nominee) Provides Proof of Another Sox Scandal: BETTING, DRUG USAGE, AND TIME MACHINE used to achieve World Series Championship. Congressional Investigation to follow!

pg. 4 Kerry Wood hugs a puppy and suffers an arm injury: The dog was said to be a Sox Fan.

Hangar18
02-07-2006, 05:11 PM
Cubs gearing up for most Exciting baseball season in history
Thats because 2006 will be just that.
Special Report pages 10-15

TommyJohn
02-07-2006, 05:59 PM
Breaking News: Cubs More Popular Than Sox!
- We haven't mentioned this in 3 days, so it's worth repeating.
- We'll constantly bring it up and skew the numbers, then we'll blame Sox fans with being obsessed with the Cubs.
- Remember kids, it's more important to be popular than to be good!


This one is classic.

santo=dorf
02-07-2006, 06:47 PM
The Fix is in: Part 2
NHL players admit to betting on pro sports.
Sulivan--"Even though they dominated throughout October, the Sox obviously had a role and were throwing the series."

buehrle4cy05
02-07-2006, 06:49 PM
Jim Hendry (Nobel Prize Nominee) Provides Proof of Another Sox Scandal: BETTING, DRUG USAGE, AND TIME MACHINE used to achieve World Series Championship. Congressional Investigation to follow!

pg. 4 Kerry Wood hugs a puppy and suffers an arm injury: The dog was said to be a Sox Fan.


Nice one on the time machine.:thumbsup:

thomas35forever
02-07-2006, 09:51 PM
Cubs recognized in ESPN's Sports Heaven Super Bowl commercial
Further proof no one cares about the Sox and ESPN only cares about big-market teams

whitesoxwin
02-08-2006, 11:09 AM
Thome's Love for the Cubs

"Growing up I loved the Cubs" expressed Thome to a packed crowd at the Empress Casino in Joliet.

The love for the most popular baseball team in Chicagoland was evident by the huge roar resounding from the ballroom.

Wrigley Field upgrades almost complete

One question: How will this effect seating for the inevitable Playoff drive?
"At least, we will have enough seats for our season ticket holders...not unlike the the White Sox, who do not have enough seats (for season ticketholders) due to inept ticket selling practices." expressed an unidentified Cub Ticket rep.

VenturaSoxFan23
02-08-2006, 12:32 PM
Player's Poll Proves The Obvious:
Overwhelming Number Prefer To Play For Dusty*

(according to an October 1999 Sport Magazine survey)

"Dusty Baker gets the most out of every player on his ballclub no matter what his talent. A no-talent guy can go over there and become a pretty good player." - Brian McRae

(I would teal the quote, but it's written word-for-word in that magazine.)

soxinem1
02-08-2006, 07:27 PM
Blanco's clutch double wins WINTER LEAGUE World Series!
Famed Sox Killer says he envisioned over-rated/paid W/Sox P Buerhle throwing to him, taunts Guillen
'Our championship means more to Venezuela'-Blanco
Channel 9 to pre-empt morning news show for victory parade

whitesoxwin
02-08-2006, 07:52 PM
Budweiser Cries Foul!
Miller's undisputed claim to be #1 in Chicago sacked by Tribune poll*

"Just like the Cubs are #1 in Chicago baseball and the Tribune is the best paper in town--Anheuser-Busch is #1, not Miller, in Chicago's taste preference proved by a Tribune poll. One thing is clear: Budweiser is the King of Beers. The fans have spoken." spokesperson from Anheuser-Busch, Inc. expressed to massed media.
And further added: " Just attaching their name (Miller) to a ball team doesn't make them #1. You have to do extensive marketing and as the poll shows, we are Chicago's beer. Just ask any Cub fan!"
(*Note: Poll included Anheuser-Busch and Miller products exclusively. Actual results may vary.)

pdr
02-09-2006, 12:25 AM
Wait 'til Next Year!
Green seats won't be completely ready til off-season
Just more proof that winning World Series was waste of time

VenturaSoxFan23
02-09-2006, 11:46 AM
The Seats Are Ready!!!!
Fans Line Up Around Wrigley To Get First Look At New Bleachers; Spill First Beer

32-Page Insert On What They'll Look Like When The Cubs Finally Win The World Series (in 2106)

(Of course, they'll cost more, but what's a few extra dollars to a true Bleacher Bum?)

kevin57
02-09-2006, 12:24 PM
Sox Players on Oprah
Appearance only days after she calls out author James Frey

Soxfanspcu11
02-09-2006, 12:30 PM
The Seats Are Ready!!!!
Fans Line Up Around Wrigley To Get First Look At New Bleachers; Spill First Beer

32-Page Insert On What They'll Look Like When The Cubs Finally Win The World Series (in 2106)

(Of course, they'll cost more, but what's a few extra dollars to a true Bleacher Bum?)




I LOVE reading these, but everytime I do, and I see someone write something at the bottom, like you did in parenthesis, I think that they are saying that it was an ACTUAL quote from the Tribune. I mean that's usually what people do when they really are actual quotes. Some of the "fake" headlines are so similar to what the actual Cubune prints, that everytime I see the parenthesis, I have to check that first to see if it was/is a real Cubune headline.

:rolleyes: How sad is that??
</IMG>

Hangar18
02-09-2006, 12:37 PM
Cheap SOX to Fans: Seats not ready til 2008
More proof SOX are 2nd rate outfit despite "championship"
Team refuses to hire 2nd worker to help install new seats
"the weather has been really bad this year and with the Playoffs
lasting so long, its no wonder we wont be ready" says team.

TheDarkGundam
02-09-2006, 11:35 PM
What do the White Sox and Wayne Gretzky allegedly have in common?
(hint: It's not that they are the greatest)

Hitmen77
02-10-2006, 09:12 AM
Ozzie Disrespects America, To Skip White House Visit!
- Took World Series trophy to anti-American Hugo Chavez
- Why do the Sox hate America? pg 5-10

Dusty: Dude, no one on the Cubs would skip a White House visit.

Morrissey: If the Cubs were to visit the White House, it would make the Sox visit look like a visit to Tinley Park's village hall.

miker
02-10-2006, 12:34 PM
BUSH LEAGUE
Classless members of so-called World Champs snub White House invite

TERROR ALERT LEVEL RAISED IN D.C.
Appearance by a few White Sox may attract dangerous fans

HISTORIC WRIGLEY RENOVATIONS ALMOST DONE
Addition of historic bleacher seats to historic park complement already perfect baseball experience

CUBS PREPARE TO DEFEND
ATTENDANCE TITLE
Seeking rules change to count people loitering outside baseball shrine on game days

OLYMPICS DROP BASEBALL
Shows how meaningless "World Series" really is

SOXintheBURGH
02-10-2006, 12:41 PM
What do the White Sox and Wayne Gretzky allegedly have in common?
(hint: It's not that they are the greatest)


Brilliant.

Hangar18
02-10-2006, 12:45 PM
SOX act like 1st timers-Sellouts expected throughout 06
Giddy front office acts like theyve never sold out a game before
Cheap team runs out of ink to print tickets
Team to install extra telephone to deal with demand

Cubs take sellouts in stride
Business as usual for north-siders
"were used to this stuff" says a cub staffer

Cub fans reason for Sox sellouts
Cubs virtual sold-out in 06 has fans buying SOX tix instead
Wrigley faithful flocking to Cell out of necessity, not love for SOX

Cell will be 1/2 Cub fans in 06 - Rick Morrissey
"everyone knows this"

Chip Z'nuff
02-10-2006, 01:04 PM
Ex White Sox Announcer "Miserable Human Being"

Hangar18
02-10-2006, 01:20 PM
South Side Conspiracy
Team takes 3 years to install seats in order to sellout games
"Bush league" move say mlb teams
Calls for investigation rock Seligs office

santo=dorf
02-10-2006, 02:50 PM
Ex White Sox Announcer "Miserable Human Being"



:kneeslap:

miker
02-13-2006, 10:41 AM
Dick Cheney Pulls Trigger in Random Shooting
VP tries to make White Sox feel at home during White House visit by simulating the conditions around U.S. Cellular

markopat
02-13-2006, 11:11 AM
https://netfiles.uiuc.edu/kshanks2/cheatersb.JPG?uniq=2p537f

CHEATERS WEAR BLACK AND WHITE STRIPES!
Secret Cheater Uniform Revealed!
Pg. 4: Cubs never cheat. Sammy Who? Cork What?


LOL...Now that's good stuff!!! HA :rolling:

Soxfanspcu11
02-13-2006, 11:13 AM
Dick Cheney Pulls Trigger in Random Shooting
VP tries to make White Sox feel at home during White House visit by simulating the conditions around U.S. Cellular


HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! THIS IS GREAT!!!!:)

SOXPHILE
02-13-2006, 03:47 PM
"Champion" Sox honored (sort of) by disinterested President at White House

Rick Morrisey: If the Cubs had won, their White House ceromony would have made this one look like a grand opening at an Oak Lawn Baskin Robbins, with the president of the local Jaycees the keynote speaker.

Paul Sullivan takes a look back at the 10 worst moments during the White Sox visit to the Executive Mansion. "...#'s 6 and 7 would have to be a tie, between the fact that past Sox players like Nellie Fox, Luke Appling, and Buck Weaver decided to follow Ozzie's lead, and not show up, and the shameful story from unnamed Tribune sources that Paul Konerko, Jermaine Dye and Aaron Rowand stole official White House towels from the bathroom, while Joe Crede and Carl Everett kept look out and stuffed their pockets with silverware from the White House kitchen...."

RedHeadPaleHoser
02-13-2006, 04:49 PM
Kwan Quits Olympics
Did She Cheat Her Way to Victory like the other Baseball Team in Town?

TommyJohn
02-13-2006, 09:22 PM
Sox snub President
some players decline great honor
Morrissey: If the Cubs had won, Dusty would've been there

Sullivan: A look back at 1919, the other time the White Sox betrayed America

Hitmen77
02-13-2006, 10:26 PM
Ticketmaster Website To Shut Down For One Week Beginning Feb. 17 For Maintenance.

- No tickets to be sold during this time, so don't try buying any.

- Work is in preparation for rush on '06 Cubs tickets.

- Ticket Sales to Resume Feb. 24 (a.k.a. "the first day of summer") for Cubs ticket sales.

GoSox2K3
02-14-2006, 09:17 AM
Bush Pardons Guillen
- Why his absence was still inexcusable (pg 2-5)

The Score - Coming Saturday on White Sox Weakly: Part 2 of Mike North's 120 minute rant against Ozzie.

maurice
02-14-2006, 06:13 PM
Even more Latino Sox players disgrace the city by failing to meet the President due to weather conditions

Dan Mega
02-14-2006, 06:36 PM
Sullivan: A look back at 1919,
the other time the White Sox
betrayed America

I love it :rolling:

You could have added "and the other worst moments in Sox history" to the end of it :D:

Hangar18
02-15-2006, 09:29 AM
Ring Out The Old
Since RedSox and WhiteSox won, is it cubs turn?




*Editor Note
(Actual Tribune Byline today: Story never does explore why
this is cubs year, Tribune editors simply wanted to put that out there)

TheDarkGundam
02-15-2006, 03:01 PM
Ring Out The Old
Since RedSox and WhiteSox won, is it cubs turn?




*Editor Note
(Actual Tribune Byline today: Story never does explore why
this is cubs year, Tribune editors simply wanted to put that out there)

How could you possibly know that Hangar? I would think you of all people would be keeping up the boycott.
:tongue:

DaleJRFan
02-15-2006, 07:44 PM
Since the Cubs spring camp began today with pitchers and catchers reporting... how about a little bit of...

Kerry Wood Simulated Games To Be Podcast
Andy McPhail announces exciting news regarding the utilization of new media
Affluent, hi-tech northside baseball fans can now enjoy simulated games "ON THE GO"

Soxfanspcu11
02-16-2006, 01:54 AM
Sosa Calls It Quits!
-says he'd rather retire than play in a league where a team as undesserving as the WhiteSox are champions
-special pullout section, "Why this is an honorable end for the greatest baseball player in Chicago history!"

Cubs Pitchers and Catchers Report
-Fans flock in droves, counting down days until Chicago ends their baseball drought!
-WhiteSox have yet to report for Spring Training!
-Is their trouble in paradise?
-sources suggest Sox players are bitterly divided
over manager not attending White House
ceremonies. (Did we mention that?)
-Our experts agree, Guillen's no-show will fracture the already unstable "clubhouse chemistry"

SOXPHILE
02-16-2006, 11:42 AM
The Quest Begins !
High expectations as Cubs begin arriving for spring training, sites set on Chicago's first World Championship in 90+ years
-Paul Sullivan and Dave Van Dyke report from Mesa, pages 1-10
"This could be Chicago's most exciting baseball season ever"


Seeing Bridgeport without getting shot or mugged

-Our shopping expert, Ellen Warren, bravely ventures out into Chicago's nether regions and finds there are actually shops, stores and other businesses south of Madison & west of McCormick Place.
"In our house, we bleed Cubbie blue, and only go to the trendiest of restaurants, shops and nightclubs. You can imagine my surprise when I found that in the area around where those White Sox play- an area I always associated with a radioactive wasteland, as seen in a Judge Dread movie-people actually live in homes, and work in places like clothing stores, grocery stores, restaurants, offices, and other businesses. Fearful of getting attacked and stabbed with a hypodermic needle, I ran as fast as I could from my Range Rover into one of these stores. It turns out, they sell pants for really, REALLY fat people..."

GoSox2K3
02-16-2006, 01:21 PM
Sox Spending Irresponsibly!
- Team has crazy idea that keeping Konerko, Garland and adding Thome, Vazquez will help them win.
- Yanks, BoSox Are Best AL Teams. Proof that Sox increasing payroll is foolish.
- Astros take better approach by cutting payroll as proven by past playoff appearances (in seasons when their payroll wasn't cut).


Crazy fake headline or real article in today's Cubune? Click here for your answer:

http://chicagosports.chicagotribune.com/sports/baseball/whitesox/cs-0602160303feb16,1,5061213.story?coll=cs-whitesox-headlines

maurice
02-16-2006, 02:46 PM
Ozzie Attacks Another American Hero
Anti-American Sox Manager Shifts Attack from W to ARod
Part of Hugo Chavez's Scheme to Destroy Baseball, U.S.


Breaking News: Bridgeport contains a hardware store!
Do minority residents turn hardware into drug paraphenalia?
We suspect that drug dealers own all the million-dollar homes
Surprising lack of credit unions, liquor stores
Owner of Grandstand oddly decent to Cub fan

TommyJohn
02-16-2006, 03:27 PM
Tribune reporter stunned to learn of existence of plus-size women's store
"I'm shocked" writes Bonnie Blabby in today's story about the
peasants of Bridgeport and their cute hardware store. "There are,
to my knowledge, no heavy women living on the North Side. At all."

Tribune study: slim, pretty women live on North Side, root for Cubs

Dan Mega
02-16-2006, 04:54 PM
Crazy fake headline or real article in today's Cubune? Click here for your answer: http://chicagosports.chicagotribune.com/sports/baseball/whitesox/cs-0602160303feb16,1,5061213.story?coll=cs-whitesox-headlines

On the first day of spring training, they're probably not even as good as the Yankees or the Red Sox

Classic Cubune right there.

Hangar18
02-16-2006, 05:05 PM
Bleacher Re-construction....errr Expansion on target for Opener
Meanwhile, clueless SOX green seat fiasco to last into 2007
"will be done for sure" says marketing clown Boyer

10 Page Pullout of New....errrrr Expanded Bleachers
Innovative Cubs bleachers to include concourse
New CF Restaurant/Bar to pioneer entertainment at ballpark

santo=dorf
02-16-2006, 05:20 PM
Shrinking, tainted, former White Sox OF quits.
Cubs to honor Cub Legend Sammy Sosa in 2006 with "leave after the 6th inning day!"

MarySwiss
02-16-2006, 05:35 PM
Lame-ass Tribune reporter 'bleeds Cubbie blue.' Wow, what a surprise!

Tribune "investigative shopping" reporter surprised to learn that there are actually STORES in Bridgeport and that people actually SHOP in them, unlike the halllowed Wrigleyville area where such things are unknown. (You can always find a bar in Wrigleyville, however.)

MarySwiss
02-16-2006, 05:35 PM
dupe

TommyJohn
02-16-2006, 06:52 PM
Sosa to retire?
Ex-White Sox outfielder, suspected steroid abuser can't find work

Morrissey: It may be a Cubs town, but it was never Sammy's town
Rick writes of how he and millions of Cub fans all over the world never warmed up to ex-White Sox prospect.

Sullivan: Captain Morgan and Sammy
Our Paul Sullivan looks back at Sosa's worst career episode, beating
his wife with a Rum bottle; which delayed his arrival to White Sox spring training camp.

Hitmen77
02-17-2006, 08:59 AM
Somber Ticket Sales
- Sox Expect to Sell At Most Only 1 Million Tickets This Season (in addtion to the 2 million already sold).



Chicago baseball fans: Only 1 week to go until Cubs tickets go on sale! Summer begins next Friday!


In other news: Former Sox Star Arrested

TommyJohn
02-17-2006, 09:49 AM
Not a good week for ex-White Sox
Albert Belle arrested for stalking ex-girlfriend; comes on heels of
Sosa's retirement under steroid cloud
Belle best remembered for playing with White Sox, cheating, being a psycho

Sullivan: Bad to the bone; White Sox star Albert Belle's worst moments with White Sox

Greenstein: YAY! I'm glad!
Ever since Albert Belle gave me an atomic wedgie I swore I'd get even
and now I have! OK, I didn't but still! I love reveling in the problems
and pain of others!

miker
02-17-2006, 01:42 PM
Plenty of Sox Tickets Still Available
Southsiders fail to sell out season today
"Where are the fans?" asks sports media

maurice
02-17-2006, 02:39 PM
Belle Career Retrospective:
- Sox record holder noted for hating media
- Corked bat incident involved the Sox
- Reinsdorf was too cheap to keep him
- Unpatriotic name change; Could he be part
of Ozzie, Chavez anti-American alliance?
- Assaulted children, fans (while playing for other teams)

DaleJRFan
02-17-2006, 03:18 PM
Shrinking, tainted, former White Sox OF quits.
Cubs to honor Cub Legend Sammy Sosa in 2006 with "leave after the 6th inning day!"

just awesome... good job, man.

SoLongFrank
02-17-2006, 03:25 PM
Chicago White Sox Expect Low Turnout from Walk-Ups

They used to be one of the better drawing teams in the majors when it came to day of game sales at the park. Now they figure to be one of the worst. Not what you would expect from World Champions. Where are the fans?









They might mention someone in the article that the huge increases in season ticket pkgs & pre-sold single game sales. :rolleyes:

pdr
02-17-2006, 04:31 PM
Raines benched, Baines caught sleeping at 1st

GoSox2K3
02-17-2006, 04:41 PM
Sox Fail to Sell Any Opening Day Tix on 1st Day of '06 Sales to General Public
- Further proof that hateful Sox fans won't support their team
- Why Chicago loves the Cubs, hates the Sox (back page)

Voice of the People: Sox As Irrelevant As Ever. A World Series win means nothing to Chicagoans when we can have ivy and manual scoreboard instead. - Chad, Northbrook

Sullivan: Which is the greater factor in Sox attendance problems? Terrible ballpark or dangerous neighborhood?

Hangar18
02-17-2006, 05:14 PM
Why A Cub World Series will happen in 2006

Lou Piniella to Cubs?
Could happen, say sources
Ex Yankee has chance to work for 2 storied franchises

Sox "sellout" of Cell really not so
Trick fans by making ballpark smaller
Lack of Green Seats chief cause of fan apathy

Polls still show Chicago a Cub town
99.9999% of respondents at Cubby Bear say this is the year
They can have their stupid trophy, we have more fans-respondents

santo=dorf
02-18-2006, 01:24 AM
2 Birds, 1 Stone
Sox's pot-smoking, partying, starting pitcher's car stolen.
Ligue arrested again for car vandalism
Obviously the two are related so we will run both stories full spread in the sports section. You don't like it Sox fans? Go spend your welfare checks elsewhere.

The Racehorse
02-18-2006, 07:32 AM
Gawd I luuuv these 'Tomorrow's Cubune' threads! :rolling:

Wasn't it Dr Crawdad who came up with the idea? Pure genius! :)

RedHeadPaleHoser
02-18-2006, 08:49 AM
:tomatoaward :tomatoaward

For this version of the thread, anyway.

RedHeadPaleHoser
02-18-2006, 08:58 AM
Tribune Investigative Report

Second City's 2nd Team Fan Hate Campaign Continues

Co. Lackey and To. Thecoline, Reporters

After a thorough, exhaustive search using the Tribune's upstanding pledge to provide unbiased journalism, the TIT(Tribune Investigate Team) has determined that an unemployed(allegedly) Sox fan website continues its hate campaign against this paper. The fan thread titled "You Write Tomorrow's Cubune Headline" is now in its 5th edition. These reporters, however, are unclear as to the accusations of tie ins between this paper and the storied franchise playing at glorious Wrigley Field, where baseball was invented, the Chicago "Lovable Loser Please Come Visit Wrigley Field" Cubs. In an unrelated story, unofficial Cub fan websites that denounce this beloved franchise are believed to be run and monitored by fans who, at one point in time, ACTUALLY stepped foot in the south side, for a ballgame, according to anonymous(Rick Morrisey) sources.

"When wiw dis hatrid end?" asked former Cub great Sammy Sosa, denouncing these recent events. 'In Chikigo, evrybdy know Cub fand were de bist in de town. Dis be unfir."

Story continues, page 2-99, all 7 sections

TommyJohn
02-18-2006, 12:50 PM
White Sox rap sheet!

Albert Belle, angry ex-White Sox star, arrested for stalking ex-girlfriend
"You guys never write about the good things I do." gripes ex-White Sox star

Paul Sullivan: Thomas and Belle were no Banks and Williams
Thomas' self-centered moodiness and Belle's raging hatred of mankind
personify perfectly the White Sox and their fans

Ligue Arrested!!
Quintessential White Sox fan caught breaking into car


(Yet another)Look back at September, 2002 when Ligue's attack on Gamboa spoke for Sox fans everywhere

Full color photo spread of Ligue's attack; page 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9

Special pullout section on all White Sox fans and ex-players who
were arrested and accused of crimes

TommyJohn
02-18-2006, 01:21 PM
Tribune Exclusive!
Lee Harvey Oswald a White Sox fan?

http://www.whitesoxinteractive.com/vbulletin/attachment.php?attachmentid=4004&d=1140285760

The Chicago Tribune has unearthed this rare photgraph, which has
been identified as being one of Lee Harvey Oswald, accused assassin
of President Kennedy, taken at Comiskey Park in the summer of
1963. As you can see, Oswald was wearing a White Sox hat and
jersey, proclaiming his allegiance to his favorite team. The Tribune
has also obtained an exclusive interview with John D. Lusional, an
employee at Cook County Psychiatric Ward (or an inmate, we never
verified which) who was at the game and clearly remembers
seeing Oswald.

"He talked about how his two favorite Cubans were Fidel Castro
and Minnie Minoso." says Lusional.

Page 2: Was Oswald at Game 1 of 1959 World Series? Two blurry
photographs prove conclusively that he was

TommyJohn
02-18-2006, 01:25 PM
Tribune Correction dept.

Yesterday the Tribune ran a picture, allegedly of Lee Harvey Oswald at a White Sox game.
It has been confirmed that the man in the picture is actually Ray Herbert, a White Sox
pitcher who looked like Oswald. The Tribune regrets the error. (not really.)

SOXSINCE'70
02-18-2006, 06:53 PM
2 Birds, 1 Stone
Sox's pot-smoking, partying, starting pitcher's car stolen.
Ligue arrested again for car vandalism
Obviously the two are related so we will run both stories full spread in the sports section. You don't like it Sox fans? Go spend your welfare checks elsewhere.

Shouldn't that be "2 Birds,1 Stoned"??:o: Just asking.Sadly,this looks more like
the coverage the Sox can expect from the local print media this year.

soxinem1
02-18-2006, 09:36 PM
Tribune Exclusive!
Lee Harvey Oswald a White Sox fan?

http://www.whitesoxinteractive.com/vbulletin/attachment.php?attachmentid=4004&d=1140285760

The Chicago Tribune has unearthed this rare photgraph, which has
been identified as being one of Lee Harvey Oswald, accused assassin
of President Kennedy, taken at Comiskey Park in the summer of
1963. As you can see, Oswald was wearing a White Sox hat and
jersey, proclaiming his allegiance to his favorite team. The Tribune
has also obtained an exclusive interview with John D. Lusional, an
employee at Cook County Psychiatric Ward (or an inmate, we never
verified which) who was at the game and clearly remembers
seeing Oswald.

"He talked about how his two favorite Cubans were Fidel Castro
and Minnie Minoso." says Lusional.

Page 2: Was Oswald at Game 1 of 1959 World Series? Two blurry
photographs prove conclusively that he was

Tribune Correction dept.

Yesterday the Tribune ran a picture, allegedly of Lee Harvey Oswald at a White Sox game.
It has been confirmed that the man in the picture is actually Ray Herbert, a White Sox
pitcher who looked like Oswald. The Tribune regrets the error. (not really.)




:rolling: :rolling: :rolling: :rolling: :rolling: :rolling:

I love this thread!!!!!!

TommyJohn
02-19-2006, 07:06 AM
Sox park assailant jailed on probation violation
COOK COUNTY -- The man who charged the field and attacked a visiting coach at a 2002 White Sox game is back in jail and facing prison time, after a judge found him in violation of his probation Friday.


OK. I'll 'fess up. I cheated. That's a real chicagosports.com headline, along
with a real opening paragraph.

TommyJohn
02-19-2006, 07:38 AM
A message from Don Wycliff

Hello, stupid people. Once again you paranoid, insecure White Sox fans
are clogging my inbox with your crazy emails. Once again I have been
called down from my perch high above the rest of you to deal with you
people.

The issue was a picture published in the Trib purported to be one of
Lee Harvey Oswald at a White Sox game. It turned out to be a picture
of a former player, Ray Herbert. Now all of you are saying we did it on
purpose, to try and make it look like one of the most notorious figures
in American history was a White Sox fan. Sigh.

Look, people. For the 1 millionth time, we aren't biased against them
or you. We got a picture that was newsworthy, so we published it.
We had it verified by our crack team of researchers Tinker, Evers
and Chance. We found a guy who said he was at the game and heard
Oswald swear allegiance to Castro and Minoso. Is it our fault he turned
out to be a nut?

I know you all want to find some conspiracy here, but there is
none, OK? The Trib acted in good faith and got a story that we went
with because it was news. That is what newspapers are here for,
people, to print news. I know it turned out to be false, but hey. It's
not our fault you people were stupid enough to believe it.

MadetoOrta
02-19-2006, 09:45 AM
Since I don't read the Cubune, please tell me the "Lee Harvey Oswald" thing is a joke.

Realist
02-19-2006, 10:18 AM
Since I don't read the Cubune, please tell me the "Lee Harvey Oswald" thing is a joke.

It's a joke, and a really really funny one at that. :rolling:

MarySwiss
02-19-2006, 10:39 AM
Who's Under the Radar Now?
Cubs ready to underachieve their way to success!

Oh, wait!
In today's Sun-Times, Carol Slezak basically devotes her entire column to speculating about the potential for the Cubs to have a great season because of how pathetic they are. This means there's no pressure on them. She advances the unique theory that because the city's attention has now turned to the world champion Sox, the Cubs will be able to concentrate on winning.

AHA! NOW we know why they've sucked for so long. They were distracted by all the media hype. Poor Cubbies.

Whitesox029
02-19-2006, 10:43 AM
Who's Under the Radar Now?
Cubs ready to underachieve their way to success!

Oh, wait!
In today's Sun-Times, Carol Slezak basically devotes her entire column to speculating about the potential for the Cubs to have a great season because of how pathetic they are. This means there's no pressure on them. She advances the unique theory that because the city's attention has now turned to the world champion Sox, the Cubs will be able to concentrate on winning.

AHA! NOW we know why they've sucked for so long. They were distracted by all the media hype. Poor Cubbies.
That's the most idiotic concept I've ever heard. The pressure on the Cubs to win this year is about 5 times what it has been any other year since 1918 because of the Sox WS win.

MarySwiss
02-19-2006, 10:48 AM
That's the most idiotic concept I've ever heard. The pressure on the Cubs to win this year is about 5 times what it has been any other year since 1918 because of the Sox WS win.

You know, I just reread her column and on second thought, I'm wondering if it's meant to be tongue-in-cheek. You'd almost think it HAS to be, except it's not like Cubs fans don't always think this year is THE year.

TommyJohn
02-19-2006, 01:27 PM
You know, I just reread her column and on second thought, I'm wondering if it's meant to be tongue-in-cheek.

I don't know about that. Last season she wrote a column which stated that
the Cubs had a better shot at the World Series than the White Sox. It was
written at a time when the Sox were on cruise control (Cleveland's late
season surge had not yet happened) and the Cubs were barely treading the
.500 mark and plodding behind about four or five teams in the wildcard.
Her reasoning was basically similar-the White Sox, with the best record in
baseball, had all the pressure on them, and teams with the best record had
recently faltered in the postseason. The Cubs meanwhile could sneak into
the wildcard and with no pressure or expectations, get to the Series as had
several wildcard teams in recent years. (Boston, Florida, etc.)

If it was meant to be tongue-in-cheek, it was a very poor attempt. Mike
Royko, Carol is not.

MarySwiss
02-19-2006, 01:39 PM
I don't know about that. Last season she wrote a column which stated that
the Cubs had a better shot at the World Series than the White Sox. It was
written at a time when the Sox were on cruise control (Cleveland's late
season surge had not yet happened) and the Cubs were barely treading the
.500 mark and plodding behind about four or five teams in the wildcard.
Her reasoning was basically similar-the White Sox, with the best record in
baseball, had all the pressure on them, and teams with the best record had
recently faltered in the postseason. The Cubs meanwhile could sneak into
the wildcard and with no pressure or expectations, get to the Series as had
several wildcard teams in recent years. (Boston, Florida, etc.)

If it was meant to be tongue-in-cheek, it was a very poor attempt. Mike
Royko, Carol is not.

Yeah, plus she is a Cubs fan, living in Wrigleyville IIRC.

SOXPHILE
02-19-2006, 03:23 PM
A feasible fantasy
Phil Rogers: White Sox- Cubs World Series isn't as far fetched as it might seem. Here's Why !:

-watering down of the NL

-IF (if...if.....if....if...if...if...) Prior, Zambrano, Maddux are healthy ALL season, Cubs will "have a chance to surprise". (What about Carrie ? )

-Ronny Cedeno has the "potential" to emerge in the same way for the Cubs as Uribe did for the Sox.

-Cubs are like the Seahawks, with more players people have heard of. (Logic- team that went to Super Bowl had players nobody knew, but people HAVE heard of players on Cubs, so they have a good chance of going to the Series)*

*Oh, wait. This is pretty much what was ACTUALLY written in the Tribune. Nevermind.

TommyJohn
02-19-2006, 03:54 PM
Shani Davis wins gold
Davis wears Sox hat; befuddled foreigners ask "what is 'ess-oh-ex?'"
Isaacson: Cubs hat would've been easily recognized

Morrissey: Further proof that this is not only a Cubs town, but a Cubs planet

thomas35forever
02-19-2006, 03:57 PM
Sosa to be Hall-of-Famer someday*
We just don't know how he'll be enshrined

*-(Whoops, that was from today's Trib)

buehrle4cy05
02-19-2006, 04:02 PM
Gold medalist Davis connected with Black Sox!
Gold medal to be stripped, involved in throwing of 1919 World Series
Inside: Davis probably got steroids from Sox players, too

MarySwiss
02-19-2006, 04:24 PM
Potential Battle of the Sports Columnists Looming!

Rogers: Cedeno = potential to emerge like Uribe
Slezak: Cedeno = might be the next Jeter

Probably closer to the truth: Cedeno = will almost certainly become a star...once he leaves the Cubs!

The Racehorse
02-19-2006, 05:38 PM
Shani Wins Gold, Ruins Team Chemistry
Sox Fan Davis is US Speed Skating Team's Chick Gandil!!!!
Cubbie Hat Wearing Mia Hamm Decries Selfish Me-Attitude
"when playing for holiest of holy's, God, Country & Wrigley Field, team comes 1st!"

DSpivack
02-19-2006, 05:40 PM
A feasible fantasy
Phil Rogers: White Sox- Cubs World Series isn't as far fetched as it might seem. Here's Why !:

-watering down of the NL

-IF (if...if.....if....if...if...if...) Prior, Zambrano, Maddux are healthy ALL season, Cubs will "have a chance to surprise". (What about Carrie ? )

-Ronny Cedeno has the "potential" to emerge in the same way for the Cubs as Uribe did for the Sox.

-Cubs are like the Seahawks, with more players people have heard of. (Logic- team that went to Super Bowl had players nobody knew, but people HAVE heard of players on Cubs, so they have a good chance of going to the Series)*

*Oh, wait. This is pretty much what was ACTUALLY written in the Tribune. Nevermind.

I actually enjoyed this article. If this happened, it would make the Astros last year look like a 7-game series.

Hitmen77
02-19-2006, 06:20 PM
A feeble fantasy
Phil Rogers: White Sox- Cubs World Series isn't as far fetched as it might seem. Here's Why !:

-watering down of the NL

-IF (if...if.....if....if...if...if...) Prior, Zambrano, Maddux are healthy ALL season, Cubs will "have a chance to surprise". (What about Carrie ? )

-Ronny Cedeno has the "potential" to emerge in the same way for the Cubs as Uribe did for the Sox.

-Cubs are like the Seahawks, with more players people have heard of. (Logic- team that went to Super Bowl had players nobody knew, but people HAVE heard of players on Cubs, so they have a good chance of going to the Series)*

*Oh, wait. This is pretty much what was ACTUALLY written in the Tribune. Nevermind.

Fixed that headline for the Cubune: :tongue:

I had to laugh at that Seahawks analogy. The NL is like the NFC and the Cubs are like the Seahawks (though he never explains how. :?: ). But, the Cubs are even better than the Seahawks because no one ever heard of anyone on the Seahawks.

I think if I keep reading the Cubune, my head is going to explode. :nuts:

SOXSINCE'70
02-19-2006, 06:27 PM
You know, I just reread her column and on second thought, I'm wondering if it's meant to be tongue-in-cheek.

It may be,but her columns still suck.Could her
anti-Sox bias be any more obvious?? I doubt it.:puking:

Hitmen77
02-19-2006, 06:27 PM
Shani Davis Wins Gold!
- Mistakenly Dons Sox Cap In Aftermath of Win.

Why Davis's Gold Is a Great Underdog Story Comparable to Our Beloved Cubs (pg 2-10)

How Gold Medal Win For Chicagoan Sets Stage for Cubs Championship in '06 (back page)

PaleHoseGeorge
02-19-2006, 07:00 PM
Shani Davis wins gold
Davis wears Sox hat; befuddled foreigners ask "what is 'ess-oh-ex?'"
Isaacson: Cubs hat would've been easily recogized

Morrissey: Further proof that this is not only a Cubs town, but a Cubs planet
Hey, well done! We'll give you the McGrath Trophy for that one!
:thumbsup:

:cubune

GoSox2K3
02-20-2006, 10:16 AM
Shani Davis Is Yet Another Angry Sox Fan.

Morrissey: With his bitter attitude, it's no wonder Davis is a Sox fan.

Father Greeley (Cub-Times): I'm praying to God that Sox fan Davis doesn't win another medal. That's what Jesus's teachings are all about - hating Sox fans.

miker
02-20-2006, 12:23 PM
I love it when I get to this thread and my ideas have already been taken...proving once again are all White Sox fans are geniuses! :bandance:
(Or at least very satirical when it comes to writing "fake" Tribune headlines.)

Hangar18
02-20-2006, 12:32 PM
Chicago Thug Shani Davis wins Gold
Ligue to compete in downhill event today

McCuddy
02-20-2006, 01:52 PM
Father Greeley (Cub-Times): I'm praying to God that Sox fan Davis doesn't win another medal. That's what Jesus's teachings are all about - hating Sox fans.

Had almost forgotten about that gem!

kevin57
02-20-2006, 09:56 PM
No need to have reminded me. *Sigh*

miker
02-21-2006, 11:36 AM
Ligue Suspect In Theft of Freddy Garcia's SUV
Authorities question typical Sox fan

whitesoxwin
02-21-2006, 01:37 PM
Say it's not so Sammy...

Former Cub great to retire-- right field will be renamed "Sosa's Corner"--commemorative statue soon to follow--first pitch on home opener

VenturaSoxFan23
02-21-2006, 02:02 PM
Voodoo Curse Ended Sosa's Career
"I was on pins and needles throughout 2006," states former Cub legend, with help from an interpreter.

Sammy Never Learned English, He Was Channelling Garrett Morris

TommyJohn
02-21-2006, 02:27 PM
October, 2004

Sosa skips out on last game
we've got the video to prove it; no need to show it

Sosa to be traded, Hendry will work out deal for good of team

Sosa corked bat, used steroids, blew up head, is all-around jerk

Morrissey: Sammy is selfish, trade the jerk

Sullivan: Sammy's got to go! He cheated!

Downey: get rid of the steroid freak!

February, 2006

Sosa to retire, statue at Wrigley next?

Hall easy call. Our experts tell us why you're all idiots if you don't think Sosa belongs in Hall of Fame

Downey: You're kidding, right? You're actually asking if Sosa belongs?

Sullivan: Uh, excuse me stupid people. Steroids weren't against the rules, ya know! All those homers were legit. Thomas's weren't. Now he's a jerk and a scumbag

Morrissey: It's a Cub town now and forever! It's Sammy's town and he will always rule it! Yes! As many yes votes as I can have!

Hangar18
02-21-2006, 02:31 PM
Selfish Olympian Davis tries for more Gold
Thug from south-side in it for himself

Burglaries on rise in Olympic Village
Italian Police suspect Sox hat wearing Thug Davis

SoLongFrank
02-21-2006, 04:45 PM
Sosa Immortalized at Wrigley

There was no riff. All that stuff you've read were fabricated by media loyal to the White Sox. Mr Reinsdorf has a lot more pull in this city than you think he does. Cub nation has had nothing but love for Sammy Sosa & if we had not had such a lackluster 2004 following up our terrific 2003 Sosa would have retired a Cub. It's our fault we had to use his talent in an attempt to make us better.

So to set the story straight a statue of Sammy Sosa in all his glory & greatest charm will now greet you as you entered Wrigley Field. Sammy Sosa wasn't just a ball player. He was a hero.

http://www.suntimes.com/output/slezak/cst-spt-carol21.html

:rolleyes:

VenturaSoxFan23
02-23-2006, 01:19 PM
All joking aside, is Sammy "The Panther" Sosa's pencil-thin picture across from a restroom in the Upper Deck concourse? Just an observation.

soxinem1
02-23-2006, 04:55 PM
Sosa Immortalized at Wrigley

There was no riff. All that stuff you've read were fabricated by media loyal to the White Sox. Mr Reinsdorf has a lot more pull in this city than you think he does. Cub nation has had nothing but love for Sammy Sosa & if we had not had such a lackluster 2004 following up our terrific 2003 Sosa would have retired a Cub. It's our fault we had to use his talent in an attempt to make us better.

So to set the story straight a statue of Sammy Sosa in all his glory & greatest charm will now greet you as you entered Wrigley Field. Sammy Sosa wasn't just a ball player. He was a hero.

http://www.suntimes.com/output/slezak/cst-spt-carol21.html

:rolleyes:

What in the world are you talking about?

Wasn't it the cubs who begged other teams to take him, then ate 85% of his contract, planted the story about skipping out on the last 2004 home game, leaked what a clubhouse cancer he was labeled by his teammates, and talked about how freeing up Sosa's contract would enable them to pursue more options in 2006, then were able to aquire only 'future 1st ballot HOF'er' Jerry Hairston, Jr. in return?

Get real! That was Sammy's and the cubs mess, don't blame it on 'White Sox Media'. We didn't have him play with corked bats, juice, and an iron glove!

A hero to pompous, self-induced cheaters worldwide, is more accurate.

Check the facts, Buddy!

SOXPHILE
02-23-2006, 05:08 PM
What in the world are you talking about?

Wasn't it the cubs who begged other teams to take him, then ate 85% of his contract, planted the story about skipping out on the last 2004 home game, leaked what a clubhouse cancer he was labeled by his teammates, and talked about how freeing up Sosa's contract would enable them to pursue more options in 2006, then were able to aquire only 'future 1st ballot HOF'er' Jerry Hairston, Jr. in return?

Get real! That was Sammy's and the cubs mess, don't blame it on 'White Sox Media'. We didn't have him play with corked bats, juice, and an iron glove!

A hero to pompous, self-induced cheaters worldwide, is more accurate.

Check the facts, Buddy!

Ummm...the title of this thread is "You Write Tomorrow's Cubune Headlines". It's called sarcasm.

soxinem1
02-23-2006, 06:06 PM
Ummm...the title of this thread is "You Write Tomorrow's Cubune Headlines". It's called sarcasm.

I was actually going to note that it is a cubune headline thread, but forgot to.......

But the statement I replied to is not a headline, and is spoken as a cub-lover, and sounds pretty sincere as well, especially saying it in the first person.... This sounds like a point being made, I sure do not see any of the patented sarcasm of the thread.

it looks as if it is written to defend the cubs, did anyone else pick that up too? If not, I guess I'm the dumb*** on this one...

Hitmen77
02-24-2006, 12:22 AM
Summer Begins in Chicago!
- Excitement abounds in city as Cubs tickets go on sale as fans rush at chance to see '06 NL pennant favorites

Morrissey: Cubs ticket sales make Sox 2 million tickets sold look like Bingo night at the local VFW hall.

- New Cubune Poll*: Cubs More Popular Than Sox by 5 to 1 margin!

* based on survey of commuters at Addison red line stop and WGN Radio listeners.

eriqjaffe
02-24-2006, 09:49 AM
But the statement I replied to is not a headline, and is spoken as a cub-lover, and sounds pretty sincere as well, especially saying it in the first person.... This sounds like a point being made, I sure do not see any of the patented sarcasm of the thread.

it looks as if it is written to defend the cubs, did anyone else pick that up too? If not, I guess I'm the dumb*** on this one...People tend to get a little liberal with what constitutes a "headline" in this thread, for sure.

But it's safe to assume that anything that comes off as pro-Cubs in this thread is really intended a jab at the Tribune's Cubs bias (real or imagined).

Hitmen77
02-24-2006, 10:41 AM
Bitter Sox Fans Turn On Each Other As Attempt to Mock Tribune on Anti-Cub Site Is Met With Confusion.:tongue:

Hangar18
02-24-2006, 11:18 AM
Summer Begins in Chicago!
- Excitement abounds in city as Cubs tickets go on sale as fans rush at chance to see '06 NL pennant favorites

Morrissey: Cubs ticket sales make Sox 2 million tickets sold look like Bingo night at the local VFW hall.

- New Cubune Poll*: Cubs More Popular Than Sox by 5 to 1 margin!

* based on survey of commuters at Addison red line stop and WGN Radio listeners.

Cubby bimbette Nancy Loo today said that "You know summer is almost here, Cubs tickets on sale today ...YAYYYYY!"

McCuddy
02-24-2006, 11:30 AM
Cub popularity never stronger
"No wristbands given out by White Sox," note fans

Hangar18
02-24-2006, 12:14 PM
25,000 Wristbands given out
sure sign that cubs are still more popular

pdr
02-24-2006, 12:17 PM
NO-FLY ZONE OVER CARACAS!!
Bush: Banosity on US planes due to Guilllen White House snub
Cheney: "Go back where you came from!"
Ligue, Dybas spotted in Venezualan capital

TommyJohn
02-24-2006, 12:24 PM
SETI Speaks!
We have made contact! Momentous event in history of mankind!
Tribune has exclusive of first ever contact with extraterrestrial intelligence!!

SETI, the Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence, has announced the
first ever contact with life in outer space. The Trib is pleased to bring
you this first ever message from beyond the stars:

"Greetings, planet Earth. I am Zontagg, First Prefect of the planet
Klingor in the Baltar system. We are sending a message to you
to let you know that you and we are not alone.

First, congratulations! We have just now received news of Chicago's
momentous World Series victory! We are impressed with the way
the Cubs dismantled the Tigers and Ty Cobb. We are all big fans,
especially of Tinker, Evers and Chance.

Second, we direct our next greeting to the President of the United
States...Bully to you, President Roosevelt!"

(for full transcript, see page 2)






Morrissey in Sports: White Sox may have won this year's World Series, but it's a Cubs Universe