seanpmurphy
01-12-2006, 10:31 PM
1. When Kenny Williams passes "Go" he collects $400 and signs Paul Konerko to a 5 year deal.
2. Kenny Williams played Russian Roulete with a fully loaded gun and won
3. On the 7th day, God rested...Kenny Williams however, signed Garland to a new deal.
4. Kenny Williams once wrestled a bear and signed it to a three year deal. The impressive part? Scott Boras was the bear's agent.
5. The World Series Trophy will soon be re-named the Kenny Williams Trophy. For short, it will be called The Kenny.
6. Kenny Williams is not hung like a horse...horses are hung like Kenny Williams.
7. There are two kinds of GM's in this world: Those who suck, and Kenny Williams
8. Arnold Schwarzenneger confessed in a recent interview that he spent the summer of 1983 in the White Sox minor leagues studying a young player named Kenny Williams to gain inspiration for a role in a movie that would be released the following year. That movie was The Terminator.
9. Kenny Williams recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage.
We know this beverage as Red Bull.
10. Ken Williams is such an adept negotiator, his current wife was a virgin when they met and by the end of the night, she was pregnant with triplets.
11. Kenny Williams does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will simply change the actual spelling of it.
12. FDR once said "The only thing to fear is fear itself, and Kenny Williams"
13. "Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for Kenny Williams." --John F. Kennedy
14. If you put a phonograph needle to KW's left nipple, it plays The Chronic.
15. Kenny Williams once walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors
16. Kenny Williams ate an entire Mark Buehrle box of Wheaties, cardboard and all. Jim Hendry signed his subsequent bowel movement to a 4 year, 40 million dollar contract. It pitched more games in 2006 than Wood and Prior combined.
17. Kenny Williams knows how many licks it takes to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop. Its however many he damn well feels like.
18. It's not very well-know that Kenny Williams handled the Elian Gonzalez negotiations. It's also unknown that when Kenny sent Elian to Cuba, he received Jose Contreras, cash, and prospects.
19. Kenny Williams knows where Osama Bin Laden is. Kenny is working on a deal that would send Pablo Oszuna and Joe Borchard to Afgahnistan for bin Laden and cash.
20. The movie "Fight Club" is loosely based on Kenny Williams' life in the 80's
my friend, a cubs fan actually, sent this to me and I couldn't stop laughing!
2. Kenny Williams played Russian Roulete with a fully loaded gun and won
3. On the 7th day, God rested...Kenny Williams however, signed Garland to a new deal.
4. Kenny Williams once wrestled a bear and signed it to a three year deal. The impressive part? Scott Boras was the bear's agent.
5. The World Series Trophy will soon be re-named the Kenny Williams Trophy. For short, it will be called The Kenny.
6. Kenny Williams is not hung like a horse...horses are hung like Kenny Williams.
7. There are two kinds of GM's in this world: Those who suck, and Kenny Williams
8. Arnold Schwarzenneger confessed in a recent interview that he spent the summer of 1983 in the White Sox minor leagues studying a young player named Kenny Williams to gain inspiration for a role in a movie that would be released the following year. That movie was The Terminator.
9. Kenny Williams recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage.
We know this beverage as Red Bull.
10. Ken Williams is such an adept negotiator, his current wife was a virgin when they met and by the end of the night, she was pregnant with triplets.
11. Kenny Williams does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will simply change the actual spelling of it.
12. FDR once said "The only thing to fear is fear itself, and Kenny Williams"
13. "Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for Kenny Williams." --John F. Kennedy
14. If you put a phonograph needle to KW's left nipple, it plays The Chronic.
15. Kenny Williams once walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors
16. Kenny Williams ate an entire Mark Buehrle box of Wheaties, cardboard and all. Jim Hendry signed his subsequent bowel movement to a 4 year, 40 million dollar contract. It pitched more games in 2006 than Wood and Prior combined.
17. Kenny Williams knows how many licks it takes to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop. Its however many he damn well feels like.
18. It's not very well-know that Kenny Williams handled the Elian Gonzalez negotiations. It's also unknown that when Kenny sent Elian to Cuba, he received Jose Contreras, cash, and prospects.
19. Kenny Williams knows where Osama Bin Laden is. Kenny is working on a deal that would send Pablo Oszuna and Joe Borchard to Afgahnistan for bin Laden and cash.
20. The movie "Fight Club" is loosely based on Kenny Williams' life in the 80's
my friend, a cubs fan actually, sent this to me and I couldn't stop laughing!