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seanpmurphy
01-12-2006, 11:31 PM
1. When Kenny Williams passes "Go" he collects $400 and signs Paul Konerko to a 5 year deal.
2. Kenny Williams played Russian Roulete with a fully loaded gun and won
3. On the 7th day, God rested...Kenny Williams however, signed Garland to a new deal.
4. Kenny Williams once wrestled a bear and signed it to a three year deal. The impressive part? Scott Boras was the bear's agent.
5. The World Series Trophy will soon be re-named the Kenny Williams Trophy. For short, it will be called The Kenny.
6. Kenny Williams is not hung like a horse...horses are hung like Kenny Williams.
7. There are two kinds of GM's in this world: Those who suck, and Kenny Williams
8. Arnold Schwarzenneger confessed in a recent interview that he spent the summer of 1983 in the White Sox minor leagues studying a young player named Kenny Williams to gain inspiration for a role in a movie that would be released the following year. That movie was The Terminator.
9. Kenny Williams recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage.
We know this beverage as Red Bull.
10. Ken Williams is such an adept negotiator, his current wife was a virgin when they met and by the end of the night, she was pregnant with triplets.
11. Kenny Williams does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will simply change the actual spelling of it.
12. FDR once said "The only thing to fear is fear itself, and Kenny Williams"
13. "Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for Kenny Williams." --John F. Kennedy
14. If you put a phonograph needle to KW's left nipple, it plays The Chronic.
15. Kenny Williams once walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors
16. Kenny Williams ate an entire Mark Buehrle box of Wheaties, cardboard and all. Jim Hendry signed his subsequent bowel movement to a 4 year, 40 million dollar contract. It pitched more games in 2006 than Wood and Prior combined.
17. Kenny Williams knows how many licks it takes to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop. Its however many he damn well feels like.
18. It's not very well-know that Kenny Williams handled the Elian Gonzalez negotiations. It's also unknown that when Kenny sent Elian to Cuba, he received Jose Contreras, cash, and prospects.
19. Kenny Williams knows where Osama Bin Laden is. Kenny is working on a deal that would send Pablo Oszuna and Joe Borchard to Afgahnistan for bin Laden and cash.
20. The movie "Fight Club" is loosely based on Kenny Williams' life in the 80's


my friend, a cubs fan actually, sent this to me and I couldn't stop laughing!

Chisox003
01-12-2006, 11:32 PM
Hmm....

Looks familiar for some reason.....

Palehose13
01-12-2006, 11:33 PM
Are these taken from our chuck norris/kenny williams thread?

seanpmurphy
01-12-2006, 11:34 PM
Are these taken from our chuck norris/kenny williams thread?
Wasn't aware someone already posted it. Sorry guys, got over excited.


Actually I feel quite sheepish.:(:

Chisox003
01-12-2006, 11:42 PM
Wasn't aware someone already posted it. Sorry guys, got over excited.


Actually I feel quite sheepish.:(:
Nobody posted it, a lot of those were actually created here on WSI....

There's a monster thread in the clubhouse

Linky (http://www.whitesoxinteractive.com/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=64443)

Palehose13
01-12-2006, 11:45 PM
Nobody posted it, a lot of those were actually created here on WSI....

There's a monster thread in the clubhouse

Linky (http://www.whitesoxinteractive.com/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=64443)

Yeah, I'm quite surprised that it is going around on e-mail. I mean, I would think that we were the originators of it...it seems weird that these two same ideas would be floating around out there at the same time.

sean-
Don't feel sheepish. I think it's kinds cool that it's circulating. I just wish we got the credit.

*edit- Ok, so I just read that whole thread again. Excellent stuff. So...who copied some of them (two of which are mine :smile: ) and sent a mass e-mail?

seanpmurphy
01-13-2006, 06:31 AM
Yeah, I'm quite surprised that it is going around on e-mail. I mean, I would think that we were the originators of it...it seems weird that these two same ideas would be floating around out there at the same time.

sean-
Don't feel sheepish. I think it's kinds cool that it's circulating. I just wish we got the credit.

*edit- Ok, so I just read that whole thread again. Excellent stuff. So...who copied some of them (two of which are mine :smile: ) and sent a mass e-mail?

Aw man, I'm drunk as hell writing this. Thank you for the forgivineness. (is that a word?) but I got this through my facebook account which I think only the younger members like me (22 myself) might have gotten cause that stuff is a recent phenomenon, either way, I hate to spam these forums, I just wanted to share my SOX pride. If you have to move it, do it, cause I respect the Mods, but when my friend sent me this I felt like others had to see, especially when a good friend, who is a Cubs faithful, sent it to me!

My friend did tell me a Sox fan sent it to him, so maybe his other friend got it from here! I love these boards, I wonder if his friend also posts here? I don't want to use names but if anyone sees this and knows former/current employees from Kohl's in Woodridge, it might make sense.

Above all, Go Sox, and this time of year, GO BEARS!!!

pearso66
01-13-2006, 06:06 PM
LOL, I havn't read through the Kenny Williams/Chuck Norris thread yet, but after reading those, I definitally will. Some of those were hilarious

Palehose13
01-13-2006, 06:52 PM
LOL, I havn't read through the Kenny Williams/Chuck Norris thread yet, but after reading those, I definitally will. Some of those were hilarious

It's a must read. It has become my favorite. I have thought about sticking it, but I don't want to clutter the top and if people keep contributing it will stay on the first page.

TheDarkGundam
01-13-2006, 06:58 PM
It's a must read. It has become my favorite. I have thought about sticking it, but I don't want to clutter the top and if people keep contributing it will stay on the first page.
One of my favorites as well.
Plus, if it's not on the front page, you could just find a post by me :D:
(see: my sig)
BTW, the Fight Club one is mine, and I think the signing Garland to a new deal is too, but i'm not sure.

SOX ADDICT '73
01-13-2006, 10:04 PM
Yeah, I'm quite surprised that it is going around on e-mail. I mean, I would think that we were the originators of it...it seems weird that these two same ideas would be floating around out there at the same time.
Definitely originated here - #16 is my post word-for-word!

If this is circulating, I think it's pretty cool that Kenny's "mythic figure" status is gaining notoriety.

Palehose13
01-13-2006, 10:08 PM
Definitely originated here - #16 is my post word-for-word!

If this is circulating, I think it's pretty cool that Kenny's "mythic figure" status is gaining notoriety.

We'll know we've made it when this reaches local sports radio or when one of these shows up in a column.