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Professor
11-07-2005, 02:42 PM
I received this via email forward. Not sure if it is posted here yet or not:


Cubs to White Sox Fan Conversion Form

Thank you for your interest in becoming a Chicago White Sox Fan. Due
to an unprecedented volume of requests, we are currently processing
only fan conversion registrations for Chicago Cubs Fans. Conversion
requests from other teams will be accepted once all Cubs
bandwagoners have been processed. We expect this to take a number of
weeks based on our current backlog of requests.

Please take a few moments to fill out the conversion form below.
This will help us get to know you better and prescribe any required
counseling to assist you in your recovery from your previous fan
experience.

Please print:

Name: ___________________
Address: ___________________
City, State, Zip: ___________________

1. Please indicate the last time you watched the Chicago Cubs win
the pennant:

( ) 1945 (please leave this form at your nursing home front desk)
( ) Have never witnessed this event

2. Please indicate your favorite moments in Cubs history:

( ) Carmen Fanzone trumpeting the National Anthem
( ) Lou Brock traded to the St. Louis Cardinals for Ernie Broglio in
1964
( ) The College of Coaches in the early 1960's.
( ) Lee Smith grooving a fastball to Steve Garvey in Game 4 of the 1984
NLCS
( ) Brant Brown dropping a fly ball in 1998, which forced a 1 game
playoff with the Giants
( ) Grounder goes between Leon Durham's legs during Game 5 of the 1984
NLCS
( ) Fan Steve Bartman interfering with a foul ball during Game 6 of the
2003 NLCS
( ) Blowing up the "Bartman Ball" (should have been Alex Gonzalez' mitt)
( ) Leo Durocher's AWOL visit to his sons' military school during the
1969 pennant chase
( ) A black cat running in front of Ron Santo during a critical 1969
series at Shea Stadium
( ) Future Hall of Famer Greg Maddux is not tendered an offer and signs
with the Braves
( ) The Atlanta Braves, featuring Maddux, sweep Cubs out of the 1989
playoffs
( ) Don Young dropping a fly ball in 1969
( ) Cubs do not tender Mark Grace who signs with the Diamondbacks and
wins a World Series
( ) Manager Lee Elia's profanity filled tirade at the beginning of the
1983 season.
( ) Sammy Sosa suspended for using a corked bat, marked with a C, during
the 2003 season
( ) Cubs blow an 8 game August lead and finish 8 games behind the 1969
Mets
( ) Cubs RP Dickie Noles drinks 24 Schlitz in the clubhouse, attacks
Cincinnati police
( ) Michael Jordan's 6th inning RBI double against the Cubs, April 7th,
1994.

3. Reasons you believe the Cubs have not won a World Series since 1908:
(check all that apply)

( ) The curse of the billy goat
( ) Lack of good managing
( ) The curse of the billy goat
( ) Lack of good pitching
( ) The curse of the billy goat
( ) Lack of good hitting
( ) The curse of the billy goat
( ) Lack of good defense
( ) The curse of the billy goat
( ) Poor umpiring
( ) The curse of the billy goat

4. Have you experienced any of the following after a Cubs loss?

( ) Headache
( ) Uncontrolled anger
( ) Heartache
( ) Holes punched in inanimate objects (doors, walls, etc.)
( ) Nausea
( ) Broken television sets
( ) Depression
( ) Altercations (verbal or physical) with White Sox fans


5. Is October your least favorite time of the year?

( ) Yes
( ) No


6. Are you tired of saying, "Wait `til next year."?

( ) Yes
( ) No


7. Are you ready to admit that:

( ) Harold Baines was better than Keith Moreland
( ) John Garland is better than Matt Karchner
( ) Ozzie Guillen was better than Shawon Dunston...and his "o-meter"
( ) Ozzie Guillen is better than Dusty Baker
( ) The next cub century will be no better than the last
( ) The ivy in the outfield serves no purpose other than housing
annoying pests


Once you have completed this form, please forward it to The Cell.
Then you must burn all of your remaining Cubs clothing, memorabilia
and associated team reminders. After reviewing your request, a
neighboring White Sox fan will contact you with notification of your
acceptance or rejection (most likely rejection).


I hereby renounce the Chicago Cubs for all eternity on this the
___day of
________,20___.

______________________
(Signed)

______________________
(Witnessed)


( ) Approved
( ) Declined

______________________
(Jerry Reinsdorf)

Dan Mega
11-07-2005, 03:20 PM
:threadrules: .

doublem23
11-07-2005, 04:48 PM
Greg Maddux and the Braves swept the Cubs in 1998; in 1989 they lost to the Giants.

LongLiveFisk
11-07-2005, 05:11 PM
You have to add that Carlton Fisk was better than Jody Davis. LOL