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czalgosz
12-15-2001, 02:06 PM
From ESPN's "The Boston Sports Guy" - not Gammons -

Someone asks him what Baseball would be like if Vince McMahon was commisioner -


If Vince McMahon were in charge, Jason Giambi's Yankee press conference would have been held in Oakland.
The A's hold a press conference to announce that they have come to a verbal agreement to re-sign star 1B Jason Giambi ... Oakland GM Billy Beane steps to the podium, strokes Giambi for a few minutes, then introduces him to the media ... Giambi comes up, shakes hands with Beane, and Beane holds Giambi's hand up over his head, like a prizefighter ... suddenly the loudspeakers start blaring Sinatra's "New York, New York" and George Steinbrenner struts into the room from the back, halting the press conference and yelling things at Beane as club officials try to hold him back, and ESPN anchor Jim Ross says, "What the hell is Steinbrenner doing here?"

As a preoccupied Beane screams, "Get him out of here!" Giambi pulls out a baseball bat and strikes Beane over the back of the head, sending him sprawling across the podium as the media members look on, incredulous, and Ross screams, "Noooooo! Nooooo! Nooooooo!"

Then Steinbrenner rushes up and stomps Beane in the head a few times as Giambi rips off his A's jersey, revealing ...

A YANKEE JERSEY!

The segment ends with Steinbrenner and Giambi hugging, followed by Giambi posing and flexing his muscles, Sinatra's song blaring "NEW YORK... NEWWWWWWWW YORK!" and Jim Ross screaming, "I can't believe it! My God! Jason Giambi has signed with the New York Yankees! This is a day that will live in infamy!"

If that doesn't work, I would have the Rangers sign John Rocker (following up on their Carl Everett trade), then hire Mr. T to manage them for all press conferences.

FarWestChicago
12-15-2001, 02:09 PM
That's hysterical!! :D:

Spiff
12-15-2001, 02:11 PM
Yeh that guy is funny with all the phrases he has coined (the Ewing Theory, the Aikman face).

I wish I could write like that, because he is honest and clever at the same time.

danman31
12-15-2001, 03:20 PM
That's great. That is exactly what would happen too.

CLR01
12-15-2001, 03:38 PM
Originally posted by danman31
That's great. That is exactly what would happen too.


Except Giambi would be accompanied by half naked hottie.

danman31
12-15-2001, 03:43 PM
Originally posted by CLR01
Except Giambi would be accompanied by half naked hottie.
Good point. I don't watch wrestling, so I wouldn't know.

Jerry_Manuel
12-15-2001, 03:45 PM
Originally posted by CLR01
Except Giambi would be accompanied by half naked hottie.

And that's a problem?

Jerry_Manuel
12-15-2001, 03:46 PM
Originally posted by danman31
Good point. I don't watch wrestling, so I wouldn't know.

I do. Wrestling is in a down period now so your not missing anything. If this was 1996 or 1997 then you would be, but it's not.

czalgosz
12-15-2001, 03:55 PM
'96-'97? Bah. The best years of the WWF were by far the mid-'80s. Hulk Hogan, Andre the Giant, Sergeant Slaugher, The Iron Sheik, Randy "Macho Man" Savage, the list goes on and on. When they brought in the Undertaker, I stopped paying attention.

This is going to the Parking Lot, isn't it?

WinningUgly!
12-15-2001, 03:57 PM
Originally posted by danman31
That's great. That is exactly what would happen too.

Then you'd see Giambi, in his 1st game vs. his former Oakland teammates, stepping up to the plate in the 9th inning of a 1 run game....when outta nowhere comes Jeremy Giambi to whack his brother over the head with a steel chair! Jeremy then takes off his #7 A's jersey to reveal his new #16!(Jason's old Oakland #)

GASHWOUND
12-15-2001, 03:58 PM
Originally posted by czalgosz
From ESPN's "The Boston Sports Guy" - not Gammons -

Someone asks him what Baseball would be like if Vince McMahon was commisioner -


If Vince McMahon were in charge, Jason Giambi's Yankee press conference would have been held in Oakland.
The A's hold a press conference to announce that they have come to a verbal agreement to re-sign star 1B Jason Giambi ... Oakland GM Billy Beane steps to the podium, strokes Giambi for a few minutes, then introduces him to the media ... Giambi comes up, shakes hands with Beane, and Beane holds Giambi's hand up over his head, like a prizefighter ... suddenly the loudspeakers start blaring Sinatra's "New York, New York" and George Steinbrenner struts into the room from the back, halting the press conference and yelling things at Beane as club officials try to hold him back, and ESPN anchor Jim Ross says, "What the hell is Steinbrenner doing here?"

As a preoccupied Beane screams, "Get him out of here!" Giambi pulls out a baseball bat and strikes Beane over the back of the head, sending him sprawling across the podium as the media members look on, incredulous, and Ross screams, "Noooooo! Nooooo! Nooooooo!"

Then Steinbrenner rushes up and stomps Beane in the head a few times as Giambi rips off his A's jersey, revealing ...

A YANKEE JERSEY!

The segment ends with Steinbrenner and Giambi hugging, followed by Giambi posing and flexing his muscles, Sinatra's song blaring "NEW YORK... NEWWWWWWWW YORK!" and Jim Ross screaming, "I can't believe it! My God! Jason Giambi has signed with the New York Yankees! This is a day that will live in infamy!"

If that doesn't work, I would have the Rangers sign John Rocker (following up on their Carl Everett trade), then hire Mr. T to manage them for all press conferences.

LMFAOLAMF!!!!

Its ok :)

GASHWOUND
12-15-2001, 04:00 PM
Originally posted by Wh1teSox00
Yeh that guy is funny with all the phrases he has coined (the Ewing Theory, the Aikman face).

I wish I could write like that, because he is honest and clever at the same time.

Whats the Ewing theory?

Jerry_Manuel
12-15-2001, 04:04 PM
Originally posted by czalgosz
'96-'97? Bah. The best years of the WWF were by far the mid-'80s. Hulk Hogan, Andre the Giant, Sergeant Slaugher, The Iron Sheik, Randy "Macho Man" Savage, the list goes on and on. When they brought in the Undertaker, I stopped paying attention.

This is going to the Parking Lot, isn't it?

I never said WWF's best years. 96'-98' was the best years for WCW. 98' was great for the WWF in terms of entertainment and establishing 'attitude'. But the 80's we're great for the WWF in terms of wrestling.

Those were the days.

GASHWOUND
12-15-2001, 04:06 PM
Originally posted by WinningUgly!


Then you'd see Giambi, in his 1st game vs. his former Oakland teammates, stepping up to the plate in the 9th inning of a 1 run game....when outta nowhere comes Jeremy Giambi to whack his brother over the head with a steel chair! Jeremy then takes off his #7 A's jersey to reveal his new #16!(Jason's old Oakland #)

hAhA! funny. Why he's at it, he can smash Jeter, Clemens, and Bernie over the head with steel chairs.

Spiff
12-15-2001, 04:39 PM
Originally posted by GASHWOUND


Whats the Ewing theory?

http://espn.go.com/page2/s/simmons/010509.html

The basic rules of the Ewing Theory (from the article)

1. A star athlete receives an inordinate amount of media attention and fan interest, and yet his teams never win anything substantial with him (other than maybe some early-round playoff series).

2. That same athlete leaves his team (either by injury, trade, graduation, free agency or retirement) -- and both the media and fans immediately write off the team for the following season.

When those elements collide, you have the Ewing Theory.

czalgosz
12-15-2001, 04:41 PM
He predicted the Mariners would have a great 2001 using the Ewing Theory about Arod.

WinningUgly!
12-15-2001, 09:18 PM
Originally posted by czalgosz
He predicted the Mariners would have a great 2001 using the Ewing Theory about Arod.

Will it work for the A's minus a Giambi?

CLR01
12-15-2001, 09:21 PM
Originally posted by WinningUgly!


Will it work for the A's minus a Giambi?


What about the sox minus fogg?

WinningUgly!
12-15-2001, 09:26 PM
Originally posted by CLR01



What about the sox minus fogg?

The Fogg Theory...? As long as it works. :D:

Dadawg_77
12-15-2001, 10:00 PM
Originally posted by CLR01



What about the sox minus fogg?

Well last year after the Big Frank went the down the Sox started to play better.

WinningUgly!
12-15-2001, 10:04 PM
Originally posted by Dadawg_77


Well last year after the Big Frank went the down the Sox started to play better.
I think it had more to do with :XL going down.

Dadawg_77
12-15-2001, 10:04 PM
Originally posted by Jerry_Manuel


I never said WWF's best years. 96'-98' was the best years for WCW. 98' was great for the WWF in terms of entertainment and establishing 'attitude'. But the 80's we're great for the WWF in terms of wrestling.

Those were the days.

What!

Hulk Hogan

What!

He and his five moves of doom, come on now. His ring skills were avg. at best. Hell he never even put anyone over, the reason WCW went down. HHH, Benoit, SCSA, the Rock, Angle and Jericho are all better workers then the top stars in the 80's.