*Official* You Write Tomorrow's Cubune Headline IV... [Archive]

voodoochile

08-05-2005, 04:30 PM

Due to the popularity of the original thread, we had to close it to make things easier on the server. Feel free to read it by following the link and feel free to keep those hilarious headlines coming...

Volume 1
http://www.whitesoxinteractive.com/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=53594

Volume 2
http://www.whitesoxinteractive.com/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=55603

Volume 3
http://www.whitesoxinteractive.com/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=58305

Sox lead nearly down to double digits.

Flubs fighting hard for the WC - only 3 teams between them and a playoff slot!

See interview with Ronnie Woo Woo - How he survived his chance encounter with William Lique at Soxfest

Baby Fisk

10-23-2005, 10:56 AM

CLASSLESS GUILLEN MOCKS FAT PEOPLE

Plump Jenks dismisses insults with stoic pride, but Ozzie's Call-to-Bullpen antics a disgrace. 4 page editorial tirade inside.

downstairs

10-23-2005, 11:04 AM

Sox Tragic Number: 4
After lucky start to season, Sox find themselves four games from elimination from the post season.

Three weeks of doom:
Third time in as many weeks Sox find themselves 3 or 4 games from elimination and collapse.

Media hysteria at US Cellular as the biggest collpase in MLB history unfolds.

OTHER BASEBALL NEWS
Houston Astros lose gutsy first game of baseball championship.

jabrch

10-23-2005, 11:06 AM

Three weeks of doom:
Third time in as many weeks Sox find themselves 3 or 4 games from elimination and collapse.

That's awesome!!!

mdep524

10-23-2005, 11:12 AM

Report: Sox hired Tanya Harding's goons to sabotage Clemens' hamstring

Kerrigan: "It wouldn't surprise me"

Konerko still unsigned for '06

winitall

10-23-2005, 11:21 AM

Contreras Loses Cool - Throws at Ausmus and Bagwell!

Spartans throttled by Wildcats!

VenturaSoxFan23

10-23-2005, 11:36 AM

The End Is Near: Contreras Taken Out In 8th

Sox Starters Faltering On Grand Stage

Inside: What Greg Maddux would do in same situation; pitch-by-pitch recount.

Also Inside: 'Cats handily beat MSU-We jump on the Northwestern bandwagon.

PaleHoseGeorge

10-23-2005, 11:45 AM

Sox Series Lead Down to 1 game!
Astros break Sox starters' complete game streak!
Clemens being too old to pitch is tough break for Garner, Houston

Daley Gives City 'Sox and Circuses'
Clads Civic Landmarks in Sox Garb
City workers seen putting white socks on Bowmen statues
"No Misappropriation of Funds" claims City Hall

StillMissOzzie

10-23-2005, 11:49 AM

CITY LANDMARKS VANDALIZED BY SOX FANS!

Picasso sculpture, Art Institute lions look miserable in White Sox hats.

SMO
:D:

ajtokarz

10-23-2005, 11:53 AM

CUBS WIN SIMULATED WORLD SERIES!!!!!

Wood, Prior, Zambrano, Maddux true Mount Pitchmore in Chicago, each throwing 9 innings of shutout baseball with a combined 92 strikeouts in the four game sweep of the New York Yankees
(According to MVP 2005 when playing against the computer on the "Rookie" setting)

Zorn-Cubs were 12-10 against so called "Best in Baseball". Why the Cubs would beat the Astros and the AL winner 12 times out of 10 any day of the year.

VenturaSoxFan23

10-23-2005, 12:04 PM

Update on an earlier post in Volume III:

Prior, Wood Team Up For Win
(DLee, Patterson Disqualified For Bad Drop On 14th Fairway - Corey Blames Ball, Not Technique)

CHEESESOXER

10-23-2005, 12:25 PM

MORE THAN 30,000 TAKE BUSES FROM WRIGLEYVILLE TO DESTINY CHURCH DIE IN.

Inside:
Link to proof of how other team from southside ghetto got into playoffs:

http://media.putfile.com/BaseballInThePocket/320

whitesoxwin

10-23-2005, 01:34 PM

White Sox squeak out out win over Astros

Contreras yanked after blowing lead, while Rocket was grounded.

Chicago readers poll: Mark Prior and Kerry Wood should throw out first pitch at the Cell. This would give legitimacy to Series, as Cubs are being slighted in THEIR CITY.

cheeses_h_rice

10-23-2005, 01:40 PM

hose

10-23-2005, 02:54 PM

Military aircraft patrol the skys over US Cellular, Wrigley Field is in safe zone.

DaleJRFan

10-23-2005, 03:07 PM

BUDGET BUSTERS
Extra Police Detail to Curb Rowdy White Sox Fans to Cost City Millions
Public School Budget Directly Impacted, Millions of Children at Risk
We Detail White Sox History of Harming Children, p. 2

Ya know, this is pretty damn hilarious... but the scary thing is, its not far off from the truth.

TornLabrum

10-23-2005, 11:03 PM

Umps steal another win for Chicago (AL)

"Ensuing scandal will make 'Black Socks' look like child's play," says our Eric Zorn

Tribune company petitions Commissioner Selig to make Astros World Champions by forfeit

MRKARNO

10-23-2005, 11:40 PM

OZZIE CALLS FOR DESTRUCTION OF WRIGLEY
"Ozzie is an idiot"-Bill Murray
See back page for more on the glorious and storied history of Wrigley Field

BNLSox

10-23-2005, 11:43 PM

Ozzie Implies All-Star Podsednick a Corker

Investigation to begin immediately.

Dan Mega

10-24-2005, 12:04 AM

REPLAY CLEARLY SHOWS DYE HIT FOUL
Tribune to run 6 month expose about hard evidence of paid off umpires, starting with Cubs fans talking about it in drunken rants
Zorn: Classless fans, classless team in side of city nobody cares about. Nobody!

Half Cocked Jack

10-24-2005, 12:28 AM

TRAITOR!
Podsednik betrays the Texas Republic

Not Podsedniks first criminal act, 59 incidents of theft pg. 5
Little children in Houston terminal cancer wards cry, pg. 7 foldout

MagicNumber22

10-24-2005, 12:29 AM

Pods' Game Winning Home Run Thrown Back By Quick-Thinking Northsider: It Doesn't Count!
Umpires Look To Resume Play Monday Morning

Half Cocked Jack

10-24-2005, 12:30 AM

GRAND ILLUSION

Konerkos 4 run shot really a hologram! Exposed!

Goebells appointed new White Sox public relations manager, pg. 3

Jiddy78

10-24-2005, 12:33 AM

Palmeiro...Now Podsednik?!?

Delving back into the world of baseball and its corruption from Steroids...

TimoPerez

10-24-2005, 12:38 AM

Podsednik Heads Home To Texas for Game 3

peeonwrigley

10-24-2005, 12:57 AM

DIRTY SOX
http://us.news2.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/p/ap/20051024/capt.cxs16010240348.world_series_cxs160.jpg
South Siders Ignorant of Lidge's Feelings

Chips

10-24-2005, 01:08 AM

PODSEDNIK STEALS SIGNS, SOX CAN'T WIN FAIR.

Coolpapa

10-24-2005, 01:36 AM

[QUOTE=Half Cocked Jack]TRAITOR!
Podsednik betrays the Texas Republic

Not Podsedniks first criminal act, 59 incidents of theft pg. 5
Little children in Houston terminal cancer wards cry, pg. 7 foldout

Damn funny

Coolpapa

10-24-2005, 01:42 AM

Noise disturbance, Illegal fireworks reported on 35th Street-- A Tribune Investigation.

CaptainBallz

10-24-2005, 01:43 AM

http://us.news2.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/p/ap/20051024/capt.cxs16010240348.world_series_cxs160.jpg
South Siders Ignorant of Lidge's Feelings

:roflmao: :rolling: :roflmao: :rolling:

Chicago

10-24-2005, 01:50 AM

LOL, thats great

Hitmen77

10-24-2005, 09:28 AM

Sox Steal Another Game

Which Sox Team Are Bigger Cheaters?

1919
2005 VOTE
Your Comments: Cub fans, here is yet another chance for you to fill our message board with juvenile anti-Sox comments!

Bears Outdraw World Series Game
pg 2-10: Analysis of why Chicago hates the White Sox and Sox Park.

eriqjaffe

10-24-2005, 10:09 AM

SOMBER SLAM
KONERKO'S HOME RUN MARRED BY OVERWEIGHT PITCHER'S INABILITY TO HOLD LEAD
sox win on podsednik's 9th inning home run, take 2-0 world series lead, page eleventeen.

FORMER CUB VIZCAINO HITS GAME-TYING SINGLE IN 9TH.
PROVES BEYOND A SHADOW OF A DOUBT THAT CUBS ARE SUPERIOR

VenturaSoxFan23

10-24-2005, 11:59 AM

Governor Discovers New Energy Plan
Reactors Hooked Up To Wrigley Family Spinning In Their Graves - South Side Left In Dark; Mayor Daley Strikes Back With Heartless Missle Launch Disguised As Post-Game Celebration.

ComEd Adds 80% Power Surcharge To Sox Tickets To Buffer Loss

Bears & Lions Win; Battle For First Next Week

SOXPHILE

10-24-2005, 12:02 PM

A WIN, ALBEIT A CLASSLESS ONE
-9th inning homerun off already fragile Lidge, further damages psyche of pitcher who just a few day earlier had given up another game winner. Paul Sullivan takes a look at the history of the Sox, and their insensitivity toward the mentally ill

-Crime wave rises outside Cell: Police report 2 arrests of men selling counterfeit tickets, 12 arrests/citations for public urination

Preview:
Eric Zorn watch: Our beloved, future Pulitzer Prize winning columnist's condition has slightly worsened in the last few days. He was found under the bed weeping uncontrollably Sunday night. Mike Murphy has been reading to him from Ron Santo's autobiography, the L.L. Bean catalog, and watching "This Old Cub" with him in a heroic vigil. Find out how you can help, where you can send your sweater vests and latte', to aid in the recovery of Chicago's most talented writer. MORE INSIDE

VenturaSoxFan23

10-24-2005, 12:30 PM

National Weather Service, Fox, God Sued By Angry Cub Fans
NWS promised showers in forecast, Cub fans waking up from Bears' victory greeted with live programming on South Side.

Harry Baskerville, Tom Skilling cited as accomplices.
"They lied to us," cited one fan. "I was expecting the Simpsons to air."

Wrigleyville: Our Grass Has Never Been Greener!
DeWayne Staats given Medal for Outstanding Merit by telling fans to please not urinate on the lawn; Daley a no-show.

Chisox353014

10-24-2005, 12:39 PM

Baseball Prospectus Gives Sox 88.5% Chance of Winning Game Two!

-Is Podsednik's VORP good enough to have let him hit the game-winning homer?

VenturaSoxFan23

10-24-2005, 12:49 PM

Murder Rate Down, Suicides Up*
Cub Kool-Aid Spiked With Heart Medicine Result In Lethal Combination; 24-Hour Counceling Offered At WGN-AM.

*With each White Sox victory

Santo Talked Down From Ledge - Sandberg, Banks Voice Of Reason
"Mr. Cub": "I just didn't want my number to get ripped down."

eriqjaffe

10-24-2005, 12:55 PM

MLB TO INVESTIGATE HBP CALL
"THOSE KINDS OF CALLS WERE ONLY SUPPOSED TO INVOLVE PIERZYNSKI," SAYS SELIG

ode to veeck

10-24-2005, 01:01 PM

Sox switch to Stealth Cheating for WS
Trying to avoid "8 Men Out, Part II"?
Tony Graffanino and Josh Paul were obvious...
Who is the Benedict Arnold hiding in the Strohs Demise?!

peeonwrigley

10-24-2005, 01:36 PM

Want to pay a combined $15MM for this Next Year?
http://images.sportsline.com/u/photos/baseball/mlb/img7263055.jpg
Inquire within

CanBuehrleWait

10-24-2005, 01:49 PM

Viva Medias B's

10-24-2005, 01:54 PM

White Sox Winning and Worldwide Natural Disasters
Wilma Hit on South Florida direct result of Sox' tainted World Series victories? A Tribune Investigation uncovers this.

Uncle_Patrick

10-24-2005, 02:07 PM

Dark Days Coming

Gloom Hangs Over Chicago as White Sox Claim Another Tainted Playoff Victory

Eddie Gaedel

10-24-2005, 02:11 PM

THERE'S NOTHING TO SEE HERE, PLEASE MOVE ALONG...

elrod

10-24-2005, 02:23 PM

Thousands of No-Shows Expected at Cell Tonight

Slats

10-24-2005, 05:05 PM

MONDAY NEWS FLASH!
SOX UNABLE TO WIN ANY GAMES AT HOUSTON TODAY

Dan Mega

10-24-2005, 05:20 PM

GEOFF BLUM CAUGHT ON CAMERA APPLYING PINE TAR ON PODS BAT WITH HIS TONGUE
"I'm am shocked and apalled, like my reaction to the latest 'Got Milk' ads" claims Selig

Zorn: Just how classless can these guys get? Let me count the ways...

http://us.news2.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/p/ap/20051022/capt.cxs10910222242.world_series_cxs109.jpg

CJLove23

10-24-2005, 07:40 PM

BEARS WIN!!!!
-Exclusive 12 page interview with Lovie Smith

Hawks Win!!!!
-Another Tribune exclusive with Trent Yawney

*That about does it for Sports

kevin57

10-24-2005, 10:33 PM

Cold, Late Sox Win Exposes Children To Truancy And Flu.

-Sox Players and Management completely insensitive to the needs of children

TornLabrum

10-24-2005, 10:41 PM

Sox abandon U.S. Insular field for warmer Houston climate

Freezing neighbors in dangerous slum neighborhood left behind

Chips

10-24-2005, 10:43 PM

SOX SERIES RATINGS LOWEST EVER FOR A WORLD SERIES. WE TOLD YOU NOBODY CARES.

Vernam

10-24-2005, 10:55 PM

Wrigley Field Wins Award from World Wildlife Fund
Voted "Most Rat-Friendly Stadium"

Inside: Trib Company sues rats for stealing Cub baseball "product."
Morrissey: Are you sure those are poppy seeds on that hotdog bun?

Sox in World Series Ratings Debacle

Ron Karkovice

10-25-2005, 12:40 AM

'Average sox fan' fan punches Mrs. Biggio with brass knuckles

"I thought it was Bagwell's wife:" claims die-hard sox fan

kevin57

10-25-2005, 07:07 AM

Dare We Say It...Karma.

White Sox Catching All The Breaks

Oh, wait, that was an actual article title (10/25/05)

VenturaSoxFan23

10-25-2005, 08:46 AM

Cubs Sign Konerko
2006 Fantasy Team Almost Complete; Maddux Trade In Limbo
"Where's he gonna play?" cites one loud-mouthed South Side announcer.

Manny To North Side? Deal Pending
Cubs Shoot For Immortality - Most Errors By A Team In Sight
"We're disappointed in Burnitz," says Hendry. "At least Sammy was good for 30 E's a year."

New Contest: You Can Be The Cubs' 31st Starting 3rd Baseman Since Ron Santo.
"Why the hell not," replies MacPhail, "we could do worse."

Bernie Mac To Be Tried For Treason; Burned At The Stake On Opening Day

eriqjaffe

10-25-2005, 08:55 AM

UNITED CENTER EXPECTED TO OUTDRAW CELL TONIGHT
NEITHER VENUE TO HOST GAME, EITHER!

VenturaSoxFan23

10-25-2005, 09:18 AM

White Sox Winning and Worldwide Natural Disasters
Wilma Hit on South Florida direct result of Sox' tainted World Series victories? A Tribune Investigation uncovers this.

How about this?

Fire, Pestilence, Locusts Expected To Swarm City By Spring

Arizona Deemed Safe Haven From Certain Doom; Thousands Flee City In Sea Of Cubbie Blue
"Florida's still paying for a Marlins win in 2003. Boston's getting flooded because of the Red Sox win last year. Need any more proof Chicago's in for a bad 2006?"

Evil Sox Fans Loot Chicago In Fit Of Uncontrolled Rage

SOXPHILE

10-25-2005, 09:43 AM

Criminal 'Cell'-ement
Sox fans battery on Astros wives further mars already tainted Series
-Series forfeit would be right thing to do
-"Murder, Rape, Robbery, and the Sox": Paul Sullivan takes a look at the history of crime in Chicago and it's connections to the South Siders

-Tribune Special: What are Dusty and the boys up to ? : Ed Sherman catches up with all our favorite Cubs to see what they're doing this offseason, and how they're getting geared up for a title run in '06

Eric Zorn watch: Our beloved columnist was able to sit up in bed on Monday and sip some latte and nibble a few cucumber sandwiches, and he even smiled a few times while watching "This Old Cub" again, mouthing the words "Hall of Fame", before falling back into a catatonic state. Mike Murphy reports from his bedside.

VenturaSoxFan23

10-25-2005, 09:49 AM

Tribune Exclusive: Dusty Wakes Up!
Orders Egg & Bacon Breakfast; Interview With Hotel Cook

Also Inside: Charmin or Northern? White Bread Or Wheat? We Go Grocery Shopping With Mrs. Baker

VenturaSoxFan23

10-25-2005, 10:25 AM

Cubs: 168 Games From World Series!!!

Pat Hughes: "Sure, we only have 15 other teams to beat to get there. But, I like our chances. Look what Houston's done the last month-and-a-half of August 2004."
Ron Santo: "Why didn't you tell me this earlier!!! I'm excited now!!!"

eriqjaffe

10-25-2005, 04:22 PM

SOX KILL INNOCENT OLD LADY
IS THERE ANY WAY WE CAN CONNECT THIS "HEART ATTACK" TO WILLIAM LIGUE, JR.?
IT APPEARS THAT WE JUST DID, PG. 1

stl_sox_fan

10-25-2005, 04:32 PM

Trib taking hard look at holdings.

Tribune may sell some assets to pay debt, buy back its own stock or make acquisitions. Here's a look at some things that could be sold and their estimated values as determined by an informal survey of five analysts and investors.

Food Network, Chicago Cubs, WB Network and CareerBuilder.com

Funny thing is, this is an actual article from ChicagoBusiness.com
http://www.chicagobusiness.com/cgi-bin/article.pl?article_id=24687

http://www.chicagobusiness.com/images/random/og102405s.gifhttp://www.chicagobusiness.com/images/random/og102405t.gifhttp://www.chicagobusiness.com/images/random/og102405u.gifhttp://www.chicagobusiness.com/images/random/og102405v.gif

miker

10-25-2005, 05:20 PM

Wrigley-fication of U.S. Cellular Continues
Ticket scalping, public urination and attack on Biggio's wife latest in South Side ballclub's attempt to mimic more popular "Cubs experience"

Man Hit By Konerko's Grand Slam
Will impending lawsuit affect his free agent choices?

Petition to Correct Flawed Umpiring
Local and national sportswriters beg MLB to assign Hunter Wendelstadt and Laz Diaz to World Series crew to eliminate bias in favor of cheating White Sox

CJLove23

10-26-2005, 03:02 AM

Mass Insomnia Sweeps Chicago
-White Sox to blame for crabby, sleepy people today

White Sox Barely Win!!
-"Obviously the Astros lost because the roof was open! It was so unfair!" claims one Astros fan

Coolpapa

10-26-2005, 03:19 AM

Child Abuse! White Sox break heart of that kid behind homeplate in the orange sweater.

VenturaSoxFan23

10-26-2005, 08:56 AM

Midnight Ritual Draws Thousands Of Sinners To Houston
"Sacrifices, Rumors Of Satanic Rituals At Minute Maid Park - Need More Proof This Series Is The Brain-Child Of The Anti-Christ?"
A Commentary By Cardinal Francis George, Archbishop Of Chicago

Cutter

10-26-2005, 08:59 AM

Somber Sunrise Over Chicago As Sox Win While City Sleeps;
Classless Commish Makes 'Stros Play With Hole In Roof

elrod

10-26-2005, 09:13 AM

Cub Fans Sleep Peacefully!
While Fans of other team bite nails, celebrate win.

SoxFan64

10-26-2005, 03:03 PM

Emergency Alert!! Chicago Prepares For the Worst
Happy fun loving northsiders fear utopia will be destroyed with the advent of a possible Sox victory. Invading hordes of pot smoking, fighting, public drunkeness, women slapping fans could leave their exclosed Cell and invade the "real" part of the city.

Ace reporter Paul Sullivan will outline ways to avoid the downtown in the event of a fluky Sox championship. "Go to US Cellular Field they are never there." Sullivan goes on to report on how to spot the pillagers. "They will look like extras from the Capitol One commerical."

First rate fact checker Melissa Issacson notes that she does not know what Sox fans look like but is sure that they won't resemble good ol' Geoff What's His Name.

Special Reporter William Ligue, Jr. will demonstrate the correct technique to avoid the rath of Sox fans. "Don't curse at us or my entire family will sucker punch you."

Governor suggests to all to remain in hiding until opening day 2006 "when real baseball returns to the shrine at Clark and Addison not that wasteland between the railroad tracks and some expressway on going south".

:walkoff:

Whitesox4ever

10-26-2005, 04:26 PM

Broom-carrying Sox fans explained

"They were cleaning the streets as part of their work-release program", says official

Full story, p.52

Baby Fisk

10-26-2005, 04:40 PM

October 26, 2005
NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE ALERT:
SEVERE ICE CONDITIONS REPORTED IN EARTH'S NETHER REGIONS

hose

10-26-2005, 05:10 PM

Broom-carrying Sox fans explained

"They were cleaning the streets as part of their work-release program", says official

Full story, p.52

:roflmao:

SOX LA Mikey

10-26-2005, 06:14 PM

...SOX HATE THEIR FANS

team prepares for 4th straight ROAD clincher

"so we aren't surrounded by Ligues and all
those other Scumbags"

gobears1987

10-26-2005, 06:18 PM

Tomorrow's headline if the Sox win

SLIPKNOTTED!!!
Knue, Lipinski, and Zorn found hanging from office ceilings. Apparent suicide caused by Sox.

Slats

10-26-2005, 08:49 PM

Buehrle Demoted to Bullpen!

Knoxville Sox

10-26-2005, 11:01 PM

CUBS UPDATE GREATEST STADIUM IN AMERICA

Uribe injures fans after charging the stands.

Southside degenerates riot in Chicago after victory in post-season exhibition series.

dropkick371

10-26-2005, 11:06 PM

Umm... Er...

#*$@.
No news today. We're crying somewhere.

The Racehorse

10-26-2005, 11:27 PM

SOMBER SWEEP!
Chicago Sox Win 4 in a row to win World Series

TornLabrum

10-26-2005, 11:29 PM

SOX CHOKE!

Only manage 1 run in final Series game

CJLove23

10-26-2005, 11:31 PM

NO GOD DAMMIT!! NOOOOOOOO !

zach23

10-26-2005, 11:34 PM

Once Again Sox Will Fail To Extend Winning Streak Past Eight Games

- Sox too weak to win 9 in a row

weisse Socken

10-26-2005, 11:35 PM

You want to see something funny, turn on WGN-TV. The news staff looks like they just ate a bowl full of potato salad that's been in the sun all day.

antitwins13

10-26-2005, 11:40 PM

Southside riots insure following championship. Goes to show US Cellular is a dangerous place to be.

MRKARNO

10-26-2005, 11:52 PM

Cubs in hot pursuit of Damon
A look inside the exciting Wrigley Field bleacher renovations

soxruleEP

10-26-2005, 11:58 PM

Hell Freezes Over!

12 Reasons Commissioner will revoke Sox "Championship"

Public Outcry for Awarding Trophy to True Chicago Baseball Team

Slats

10-27-2005, 12:02 AM

SEASON IS OVER FOR WHITE SOX!

SoxSpeed22

10-27-2005, 12:07 AM

We Were with you the Whole Time.

jabrch

10-27-2005, 12:16 AM

KERRY WOOD WATCH
Rehab Smooth in Texas. Will win 13 again!

South Siders Squeak Past Houston.

Murphy10

10-27-2005, 12:27 AM

UNITED CENTER DRAWS MORE FANS THAN U.S. CELLULAR!

Coolpapa

10-27-2005, 12:29 AM

White Sox season ends, Dan Roan not invited inside clubhouse

chidonez

10-27-2005, 12:35 AM

We Were with you the Whole Time.

Heh...

CLR01

10-27-2005, 12:36 AM

http://cabanel.jennifer.free.fr/galerie_anarchisme_et_atheisme_2/images/black.flag.jpg

daveeym

10-27-2005, 01:28 AM

Party Breaks Out on Southside.

No one knows why. Filming of Barbershop 3 suspected.

peeonwrigley

10-27-2005, 01:32 AM

ONE STREAK LEFT!!!!
See History at Clark & Addison in '06

daveeym

10-27-2005, 01:37 AM

ONE STREAK LEFT!!!!
See History at Clark & Addison in '06
Last teal statement for the year for me....Bout ****ing time they got 9 in a row.

MeteorsSox4367

10-27-2005, 01:42 AM

Bulls Lose to T-Wolves in Preseason Thriller

Bears to face Lions in first round of IHSA Playoffs

Darren Baker Loses Tooth; Ain't He Cute?

Oh (Expletive Deleted)! Chicago (AL) Wins World Series. Rowdies and Ruffians Run Roughshod on South Side.

SOX LA Mikey

10-27-2005, 02:41 AM

ZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzz

Huh, What? Was that a Gun Shot?!?

chuckn98229

10-27-2005, 03:11 AM

Tomorrow's headline if the Sox win

SLIPKNOTTED!!!
Knue, Lipinski, and Zorn found hanging from office ceilings. Apparent suicide caused by Sox.

If only that were true!! What a great benefit to mankind that would be!!

CLR01

10-27-2005, 03:25 AM

If only that were true!! What a great benefit to mankind that would be!!

Do we really need to start wishing death upon people? :rolleyes:

voodoochile

10-27-2005, 03:27 AM

:tomatoaward:

Sox fans sling (virtual) tomatoes at Cubune tower in frustration over slights in news coverage.

Sox win World Series. Coverage on page 13-14 of Tempo. See the story following the one on the giant snails...

Coolpapa

10-27-2005, 03:28 AM

Cubs will take part in 2006 World Series of poker.

eastchicagosoxfan

10-27-2005, 06:35 AM

NOW IT'S OUR TURN!

EXCLUSIVE REPORT REVEALS WHY CUBS WILL PLAY IN 2006 WORLD SERIES
INSIDE: WHY THE SOX WON'T REPEAT

eriqjaffe

10-27-2005, 08:16 AM

CONGRATULATIONS, YOU OBNIXOUS ****ERS
THERE, HAPPY NOW? GEEZ!
WILL YOU PLEASE STOP MAKING FUN OF OUR HEADLINES?

GUILLEN TO RETIRE?

Hitmen77

10-27-2005, 09:01 AM

Classless Sox Stomp on Hopes of Yet Another Team
- Twins, Indians, Red Sox, Angels, and Astros fans all agree that Sox are to blame for their disappointment.
- Deaths of more beloved Cub-fan grandmothers blamed on Sox and their obnoxious fans.

Excitement Builds for Cubs '06 Run for the NL Pennant

Cubs Planning "Attendance" Championship Parade/Rally for Friday.

kevin57

10-27-2005, 10:31 AM

Police Forced To Roam Streets To Prevent Mayhem By Sox Fans.

-City's Budget Strained Again by Fears about Riotous, Drunken Sox Fans.

-Eric Zorn Forced To Shop for a New Sweater to Alleviate His Pain.

cheeses_h_rice

10-27-2005, 10:42 AM

WE GIVE UP. HAPPY?

PaleHoseGeorge

10-27-2005, 10:46 AM

That's it. We're Selling. Umm.. Celling!
Lipinski resigns; issues statement, "Go Sox!"

1951Campbell

10-27-2005, 10:49 AM

Believe It!

Red Sox 2004, White Sox 2005--Trend of Destiny Points to Cubs Winning World Series in 2006

Kuzman

10-27-2005, 10:52 AM

That's it. We're Selling. Umm.. Celling!
Lipinski resigns; issues statement, "Go Sox!"

:rolling: :rolling::rolling: :rolling::rolling: :rolling::rolling: :rolling:

hose

10-27-2005, 10:59 AM

Dusty Plans November Fishing Trip.

Paul Sullivan to give daily updates plus bait hooks and clean fish.

Minute Maid out draws US Cellulite.

Sox eek out title

SOXPHILE

10-27-2005, 11:09 AM

NOOOOOO !!!!!!
Sox Series "Win" is bad for city
-Crime Rate Soars Due to Sox
-Police in Bridgeport, Back of the Yards, write at least 5-8 parking tickets for cars illegally blocking driveways, parked on wrong side of street. Yelling, firecrackers going off add to mayhem in neighborhoods

-Paul Sullivan reports on how this latest black eye for White Sox should lead to revoking of World Series Championship, tearing down of U.S. Cellular- Back Page

Why Cubs Will Be Next
Team, fans, city, the world deserve championship in '06. Here's why we'll get it- pages 2-15

Eric Zorn Watch: Our beloved, future Pulitzer Prize winning columnist asks to be wrapped in his favorite sweater vest and vines from Wrigley Field -(Voted The Greatest Place on Earth Ever in latest Tribune pole)- and buried at sea. Jay Mariotti, Mike Murphy, Mary Ann Lipinski to be honorary pallbearers. When asked for comments, Mike Murphy said "Hey, I'm a Cub fan. Did you know that ? I was an original Bleacher Bum. I was the kid with the bugle. Pretty neat, huh ?" Read how you can help in our drive to have a memorial built for Eric outside of Tribune Tower.

Shorty1983

10-27-2005, 11:28 AM

IT WAS RIGGED! Umpiring Crew admits after the series. Sox front office bribes, Corruption in Chicago happens again! Championship stripped from the infamous White Sox.

Oprah buys Cubs, team exceeds highest payroll to $300,000,000 hopes to bring in the most talented players money can buy.

VenturaSoxFan23

10-27-2005, 12:22 PM

"SOX!"

Now that you bought the paper, here's a run-down on the real World Champions, the 1908 Chicago Cubs.

whitesoxwin

10-27-2005, 02:02 PM

Chicago Celebrates
White Sox win World Series

National Guard on Alert

Governor promises to protect Wrigleyville from hoards of rioting "bandwagon" gangsters

Again, White Sox show "Dirty" side by throwing bottles of Champaign at unsuspecting fans after game

Texas officials to investigate..Promise to prosecute players involved

"We all thought this would happen....Hey, the White Sox have this reputation" exclaimed Houston Police spokesperson.

Maximo

10-27-2005, 02:43 PM

SOX WIN WORLD SERIES.......in year when everyone else sucked.

churlish

10-27-2005, 02:44 PM

Konerko, Thomas might leave White Sox!!!
Inside: 2006 Sox team is going up in smoke
Bulls getting ready for Chicago's first important championship run since 1998!!!!
Skiles: Chicago deserves another champion
Par for the course: Cubs phenom Kerry Wood wins simulated mini-golf tournament!!!
White Sox eke by Astros, win World Series

TimoPerez

10-27-2005, 02:50 PM

Konerko Steals Clinching Ball, Doesn't Plan on Returning It

Cubs Haven't Lost in a Month

downstairs

10-27-2005, 02:59 PM

- Chicago Tribune Classifieds -

FOR SALE
One Major League Baseball team. Highly used. In poor condition. Smells of urine. Won championship in 1908. Kept outside behind a few city bars, but could be considered "rustic". Need to unload quickly, will take best offer. Contact Tribune, Inc. at 312-000-0000.

Cooter

10-27-2005, 03:07 PM

Once Again Sox Will Fail To Extend Winning Streak Past Eight Games

- Sox too weak to win 9 in a row
...I don't care who you are- that's full on :rolling:

TheDarkGundam

10-27-2005, 03:10 PM

SOMBER SOX WIN AS ASTRO'S CHAMPIONSHIP SEASON IS ENDED!

Remember William Ligue? Remember when Frank Thomas held out for more money during spring training? Remember the Black Sox? More of the Sox worst moments inside!

Cooter

10-27-2005, 03:16 PM

Baby Fisk

10-27-2005, 07:44 PM

STROS DEFEAT SOX!

(time to update that photo of HS Truman! :D: )

TornLabrum

10-27-2005, 10:10 PM

Houston snubs Sox!
Fans turn backs on midwestern team - Game 5 played in empty park

TommyJohn

10-27-2005, 11:11 PM

Cub fan petitions MLB to change World Series rules; allow most popular teams in.

Chet Dipley is a Cub fan and the President of the University of Illinois
chapter of Phi Drunka Jerka. He feels MLB should change the rules and
allow the most popular teams to play in the World Series.

"we would play in it every year" said Dipley. "So why not? I mean, the
ratings were so low for the White Sox that the games shouldn't count.
I mean, the Cubbies are prom kings, class jocks and members of Phi
Drunka Jerka. That is, they don't get any cooler. The Sox are the class
nerd. Would you vote for the class nerd for prom king? Or admit him to
Phi Drunka Jerka? The Cubbies are way cool and way popular. They
should play in the Super Bowl every year."

MRKARNO

10-27-2005, 11:14 PM

Disaster Preparedness simulation tomorrow
If you are in the loop, especially around La Salle St., please stay indoors between 12:00 PM and 1:00 PM

TornLabrum

10-27-2005, 11:14 PM

Cub fan petitions MLB to change World Series rules; allow most popular teams in.

Chet Dipley is a Cub fan and the President of the University of Illinois
chapter of Phi Drunka Jerka. He feels MLB should change the rules and
allow the most popular teams to play in the World Series.

"we would play in it every year" said Dipley. "So why not? I mean, the
ratings were so low for the White Sox that the games shouldn't count.
I mean, the Cubbies are prom kings, class jocks and memebers of Phi
Drunka Jerka. That is, they don't get any cooler. The Sox are the class
nerd. Would you vote for the class nerd for prom king? Or admit him to
Phi Drunka Jerka? The Cubbies are way cool and way popular. They
should play in the Super Bowl every year."

This reminds me a lot of the description of a "story" in The Onion that they were talking about on the radio today.

hose

10-27-2005, 11:14 PM

This Old Cub to walk down LaSalle at 11:30 am tomorrow huge crowds expected.

sox motorcade to follow at 12:00

VenturaSoxFan23

10-28-2005, 10:02 AM

"Million Moron March" At Noon
Cub Fans Stay Away, Keep Economy Chugging Along

Dusty In Minnesota; Fishing For Compliments, Walleye

Hitmen77

10-28-2005, 10:36 AM

Hitmen77

10-28-2005, 03:25 PM

Low-Brow Sox Fans Invade Downtown. LaSalle St. Closed.
- Hardworking Cub fans unable to get work done today as classless hoard disrupts Loop workday.
- Trashy Sox leave Loop littered with discarded paper scraps.
- Police mobilized to protect law-abiding Cub fans from criminal element.

Tempo: Simulated Cubs Championship Rally Draws Bigger Simulated Crowd and Better Simulated TV Ratings.

kevin57

10-28-2005, 03:30 PM

2005 World Series: Lowest TV Ratings Ever.

-FOX to run simulated Cubs-Red Sox Series to Recoup Loses.
-Eric Zorn to provide game analysis.

peeonwrigley

10-28-2005, 03:39 PM

eastchicagosoxfan

10-28-2005, 06:36 PM

CJLove23

10-28-2005, 06:43 PM

Over 1 million people on Strike from Downtown Jobs today!
-Small White Sox celebration just left of that

hellenicsoxfan

10-28-2005, 07:03 PM

Unruly Sox Fans Storm the Loop

Innocent Cub Fans Race for Cover

"Tattoed Hooligans frightened me," said Cub fan Thurston
Wellington III, president of fraternity at Palatine U.

Wsoxmike59

10-28-2005, 07:05 PM

Sox Fans Block Traffic Downtown...Cub fans inconvenienced!

Millions Skip Work-School to Watch A.L. Team Celebrate Something Called a World Championship*???

*We'll get back to you on that, we're not sure what that is?

maurice

10-28-2005, 09:17 PM

Konerko to play LF for Cubs next year

Sox selfish winning ways makes cub fans sad
Also causes tickertape shortage and energy crisis
http://a1022.g.akamai.net/f/1022/8153/5m/images.chicagotribune.com/media/photo/2005-10/20177804.jpg

GoSox2K3

10-28-2005, 09:42 PM

I forgot to post this yesterday:

No Sox Fans on hand at O'Hare As Team's Plane Returns to Chicago.
- further proof that Chicago hates the Sox. Cubs fans would have packed O'Hare to greet their team.

soxwon

10-28-2005, 10:15 PM

1,7 million unemployed sox fans at RALLY.
Cubs start 06 road to Series- Resign GLENDON RUSCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

nebraskasox

10-28-2005, 10:38 PM

Thousands of fans celebrate with Sox.

That's the actual headline on Chicagosports.com.

SOX LA Mikey

10-28-2005, 11:00 PM

Clooney Saves Oprah

Millions of women tune in for second half of what was the lowest rated first half of her show EVER

First segment of show practically RUINED by some Icky baseball team

GoSox2K3

10-28-2005, 11:12 PM

Somber Rally
- A few thousand Sox fans attend swan song for fluke team
- Dismantlement of team, another long pennant drought in store for fans

Cubs Look to Stockpile Talent for '06 Championship Run
- Team planning parade routes for next October
- Mark your calendars: Cub tickets go on sale in February!

kevin57

10-29-2005, 08:40 AM

Sox still haven't signed Konerko.

-Scandalous ingratitude shown by Reinsdorf, Inc.

TornLabrum

10-29-2005, 09:33 AM

And our first look at Sunday's Cubune:

Cell empty for crucial game 6
Sox fans show apathy as elimination from Division Series draws near

VenturaSoxFan23

10-29-2005, 10:33 AM

Cubs: Looking To The Future
Cubs Deny Option On Burnitz; Sammy & Raffy To Return?
Cubs Offer 5 Year Deals To Rick Sutcliffe, Mark Grace; Rick Reuschel In Talks

Dan Mega

10-29-2005, 02:08 PM

http://www.geocities.com/mr_patriots/cubune1.JPG

Feel free to touch that up if you're good at photoshop :D:

GhostofComiskey

10-30-2005, 09:45 AM

Cubs superstar Ron Santo elected into simulated Hall of Fame.
Ryne Sandberg and Chip Carey to be guest speakers to induction.

Paul Sullivan analyzes this great event and why this means that Chicago (AL) should be contracted.

Hitmen77

10-30-2005, 11:51 AM

World Series Win No Guarantee of Continued Sox Success

* did I make this up? Nope, it's the main story in today's Trib.

Baby Fisk

10-30-2005, 04:43 PM

http://www.geocities.com/mr_patriots/cubune1.JPG

Feel free to touch that up if you're good at photoshop :D:

Thank you thank you!

:worship: Dan Mega

antitwins13

10-30-2005, 04:48 PM

Sox World Series Winner!!

from 2004 ,Johnny Damon to negotiate deal with the Cubbies.

eriqjaffe

10-31-2005, 10:42 AM

1.7 MILLION CONVERGE ON LOOP FOR RARE MIDDAY STEVE PERRY CONCERT
"I HAD NO IDEA I WAS STILL THAT POPULAR," SAYS FORMER JOURNEY FRONTMAN

Hitmen77

10-31-2005, 11:21 AM

Guillen to Smuggle World Series Trophy to Venezuela
- Trophy In Hands of Anti-American Regime? Say It Ain't So!
- MLB looking into taking back World Series trophy from Sox, awarding it to Cubs based on popularity.

WestSox

10-31-2005, 11:38 AM

Forbes: Cubs Still #1
Franchise Valued at $98 Million More than White Sox

http://www.whitesoxinteractive.com/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=61576

GoSox2K3

10-31-2005, 10:21 PM

Soxtober (thankfully) comes to an end!
- Cub fans, welcome to Cub-vember!

Chips

10-31-2005, 10:24 PM

http://www.geocities.com/mr_patriots/cubune1.JPG

Feel free to touch that up if you're good at photoshop :D:

I tried to do this myself, but it looked like ****.

SOXPHILE

11-01-2005, 10:10 AM

Finally ! SOXTOBER ends !

Countdown to Cubs Convention
-Celebrities already lined up
-6 hour marathon Showing of This Old Cub to kick off festivities
-Attendance Championship Banner presentation scheduled

More info inside ! pages 2-19. Plus special wraparound section
-Directions to hotel
-Ron Santo will be present to sign hats, gloves, copies of This Old Cub, Don Young baseball cards, hairpieces, anything !! Please come see him ! Please ! Pay attention to him !
-Paul Sullivan takes a step by step walk through the hotel, and a day by day, hour by hour look at what will transpire during the 3 days of glory

the gooch

11-01-2005, 11:05 AM

10/27/05

Sox fail in bid to play more postseason games as famed 2003 Cubs.
"we went just as deep as them. why dont we get a parade, dude?"-baker asks

whitesoxwin

11-01-2005, 11:50 AM

Best Team in Chicago: Cubs

Tribune poll shows Cubs #1, followed by Bears and Bulls

Lack of fans supporting team, unappealing ballpark, security issues and a dangerous neighborhood keep droves away from Southside ballpark.

White Sox and City of Chicago spend millions in payments to homeless and displaced people to attend parade last Friday

Reinsdorf and Mayor inflate attendance by paying out a reported $3.2 million. City Government and MLB to investigate.

'No way can the White Sox have the number of people attending any event, much less a World Series event. This is our city. 2006 will be a banner year for the Cubs organization. We already have around 5,000 applications on our waiting list for tickets. Everybody loves the Cubs. Hey, if the White Sox want a war....we win..period" exclaimed Cub team spokesperson.

churlish

11-01-2005, 01:15 PM

White Sox on the "Decline"
The White Sox declined their option on DH Carl Everett.

CHEESESOXER

11-01-2005, 01:38 PM

TRIBUNE SUPPORTS

PURCHASE OF WHITE SOX
BY WM WIRTZ

TornLabrum

11-01-2005, 06:43 PM

Nike unveils "Air Santo" shoes!

Soxzilla

11-01-2005, 06:46 PM

:roflmao::roflmao::roflmao:

Ouch man, OUCH!

MrRoboto83

11-01-2005, 07:02 PM

Tribune to cell Cubs, Interested in White Sox

GoSox2K3

11-01-2005, 10:41 PM

Coming Sunday: Special Pullout Section on Wrigley Bleachers Expansion.
- follow a 6 month timeline of the renovation work - from the demolition of the old Waveland Ave wall in October to the dousing of the new bleacher sections with urine* in March.

* done to make the new seating areas fit in seamlessly with the rest of the park.

MarySwiss

11-01-2005, 10:46 PM

Hitmen77

11-03-2005, 08:07 AM

Furcal Is Very Interested in the Cubs!

oh, that's the real headline today. Ok, forget the Cubune, let's make up a fake ESPN headline:

White Sox are 2nd Best Team in their Division
- Yes, they just won the World Series in convincing fashion, but we still won't give them any respect.

Damn, that's a REAL headline too! :angry: :angry:

SOXPHILE

11-03-2005, 10:05 AM

Cubs Sign Furcal !
Well, not yet. But they soon will. He REALLY wants to come here.
-Damon, Konerko also expected to sign on soon, Ramirez more than likely to be traded to Northsiders too.

Ex-Tribune Co. Employee Rob Goldman actually a Sox fan
-Watching the White Sox & trolling the internet for minors his two favorite hobbies.
-Paul Sullivan and Ed Sherman take a look at the mutual attraction between White Sox & society's worst criminals
"They go together like ham & eggs" says expert from Tribune's psychology department - pages 2-7

Plus, Ron Santo's outlook on the upcoming '06 season
"This is definatly our year" he assures us

Hangar18

11-04-2005, 01:51 PM

Cubs to Series in '06? Believe it

10 reasons why the Cubs will be playing in October

10 reasons why the World Series ratings were down

FOX prays for a Cubs world series in 06
"theyre easier to market" says a Fox insider.
"we couldve had the world watching, but we didnt know they were that
good" says another

"they caught us by surprise" says one flabbergasted executive. "We had remote cameras set up at about 10 wrigleyville bars, we had 5 news crews in the streets surrounding Clark Addison, we had pre-recorded interviews with Hollywood actors from Chicago who saw a cub game a long time ago, we had segments from officials of the Goat Farmers Association queued and ready to go ............... But then we were told it was the WHITE SOX who made the series, and not the Cubs. We just didnt have enough time to do a 180 and get SOX related stories ready. Ooops!"

Hitmen77

11-06-2005, 10:57 PM

World Series Woes!
- Many Sox fans promote arson in hateful post-pennant rage(1)
- Studs Terkel doesn't know anything about Chicago and needs to be lectured by someone young enough to be his great-grandson.(2)
- Exploding scoreboard is a joke of a home run tradition that distracts from the game.(3)
- Sox didn't sell out every game in April: Proof that Sox fans suck!
- Sox fans need to come to Wrigley Field next year to see Ronnie Woo Woo and not think about the Sox. Please call Tribune Ticket Scalper Service to buy tickets!

Is Hitmen77 getting too outrageous in his headline predictions? Nope! This was a real editorial in Sunday's Cubune. :angry:

********************************************
1) conclusion based on one "wrong number" call that some Cub fan claims to have received
2) conclusion reached because Terkel dared say positive things about Sox fans and negative things about Cub fans.
3) By comparison, the Cubs "throw the ball back" HR tradition is wonderful tradition and fulfills the true spirit of the game.

whitesoxwin

11-07-2005, 10:24 AM

White Sox Dump Players
As expected, Southsiders admit attendance as reason in cutting costs
"How can we compete with the Cubs in drawing the fans? They (the Cubs) are the Kings in this city" noted a truly worried marketing exec with the White Sox

Cubs announce Caravan 2006 Slogan: "World Series or Bust"
Better than "Win or Die Trying" most readers agree

Cost of "We Believe" bracelets increase do to popularity
Increase to $15 with most of proceeds to signing of free agents
Chicago fans overwhelmingly accept the increase--"Whatever it takes to get the best team in Chicago to the World Series...Hey, with all the Cub injuries, we were robbed. The World Series winner was lucky they didn't have to face the Cubbies!!" exclaimed a true Chicago fan.

Madvora

11-07-2005, 10:57 AM

White Sox Fans Riot In France.
11th consecutive night of violence and car fires.
Cub fans manage to keep Chicago safe around Wrigley.

Dan Mega

11-07-2005, 12:02 PM

U.S. Cellular Empty Once Again
Tribune Adds Bleacher Construction Workers and the Homeless outside Wrigley to 2005 attendance totals

soxwon

11-07-2005, 07:53 PM

FORMER SOX PLAYER-BUSTED FOR DRUGS.

Pete Rose Jr- in court for selling Date Rape Drug.

kevin57

11-07-2005, 08:34 PM

White Sox Fans Riot In France.
11th consecutive night of violence and car fires.
Cub fans manage to keep Chicago safe around Wrigley.

:kneeslap:

SOXPHILE

11-09-2005, 03:13 PM

Somber Postseason
No Gold Glove, Silver Slugger Awards, further taint White Sox "Champion" label. "Pretenders" may be more applicable for team no one likes
-Beginning of end ? With Konerko & Thomas all but gone for good, and others to follow, White Sox failing to cash in on lucky fortunes of "championship"; Paul Sullivan examines how a long drought of multiple losing seasons likely on horizon

-Foul mouthed Guillen awarded A.L. "Manager of the Year"
Ed Sherman looks at this latest black eye for MLB and asks "WHY ?"

Cubs gear up for '06 championship with treasure trove of free agents, trades
-Furcal, Damon signings "a mere formality" says WGN source. Manny Ramirez, Juan Pierre, Bobby Abreu, among others who have expressed "strong interest" in playing at Wrigley, expected to be acquired via trades within week for Corey Patterson & cash, says same source.

<Advertisement> Join Ron Santo this Saturday at Cubby Bear as he signs ivy leaves from Wrigley Field that were raked up this fall. For a mere $25.00, you get a genuine Ron Santo autographed ivy leaf, along with the opportunity to meet the greatest living human being ever. All proceeds go to charity and are tax deductible.*

*Charity organization is one which helps fledgling film maker Jeff Santo continue his movie making career, and his attempts to make sequels to This Old Cub, which quite possibly is the greatest movie ever made.

GoSox2K3

11-10-2005, 04:29 PM

He Gone!
- Konerko's days with Sox all but over as he enters free agent market.
- Sox chances to repeat now practically zero, interest in team expected to fizzle.
- Paul Sullivan: The long list of Sox players who left via free agency.

Free Agents Banging on Cubs' Door
- Damon, Furcal practically begging for chance to play at Wrigley and in front of world's greatest fans.
- Please contact Tribune Ticket Scalping Service for '06 ticket info.

Editorial: Get over it Sox fans!
Chicagoans of all ages are getting sick and tired of classless Sox fans still celebrating their team's victory by doing obnoxious things such as wearing Sox caps and displaying Sox flags on their cars. Their joy over the World Series obviously stems from their endless obsession with the Cubs. They may have had a good team this year, but the Cubs out-attendanced them in '05 - and we all know it's more important to be popular than to be good. Sox fans, we invite you to visit Wrigley Field next year to see what baseball is really all about: Ronnie Woo Woo, "B" celebrity 7th inning singers, and attendance totals.

miker

11-10-2005, 06:26 PM

Where are they gonna sit?
Sox fans sour over increase in season-ticket base, good seats no longer available for fans like the Ligues

Baby Fisk

11-10-2005, 06:30 PM

<Advertisement> Join Ron Santo this Saturday at Cubby Bear as he signs ivy leaves from Wrigley Field that were raked up this fall. For a mere $25.00, you get a genuine Ron Santo autographed ivy leaf, along with the opportunity to meet the greatest living human being ever. All proceeds go to charity and are tax deductible.*

*Charity organization is one which helps fledgling film maker Jeff Santo continue his movie making career, and his attempts to make sequels to This Old Cub, which quite possibly is the greatest movie ever made. :rolling: :cheers:

Hendu

11-11-2005, 08:19 AM

Cubs Sue South Siders For Trophy
-Tribune Legal Correspondent explains why Ozzie's "win for Chicago" comment is a binding contract.

Victory Parade To Begin In Des Moines, End At Wrigley.
-25 million expected.

Curse Of The Billy Goat Not Dead, according to senior official at Tribune Marketing Department.

Steve Phillips Named Assistant GM
-Hendry decides to give him shot after watching mock press conference on ESPN.

White Sox Always Will Be Chicago's Second Team - article by Paul Sullivan.

kevin57

11-11-2005, 04:53 PM

Sox Apparel Flying Off The Rack!
-Police profile shoplifting Sox fans.
-Ligues cornering the market.

buehrle4cy05

11-11-2005, 05:29 PM

Sox Apparel Flying Off The Rack!
-Police profile shoplifting Sox fans.
-Ligues cornering the market.

Let me further that...
Shoplifting by Sox fans severly hinders effort to re-sign Konerko
Lawless fans to cost team chance to end World Series drought, which stands at almost a month
Want the perfect gift for that special someone? Cubs gear is still availible in mass quantities! All Corey Patterson material 50% off!

Vernam

11-12-2005, 01:55 AM

Champion White Sox raise ticket prices
At least the increased cost of watching the White Sox at U.S. Cellular Field in 2006 will be less than buying a beer.

Budget may handcuff Sox
The Paul Konerko sweepstakes begins Friday, but the White Sox have more issues than just competing financially with other teams for their free-agent first baseman.

Sorry, I know it's cheating: Those are yesterday's actual Trib headlines. See below for links. It's hard to stay ahead of them with the zany stories.

Vernam

Champion White Sox raise ticket prices (http://www.chicagotribune.com/sports/baseball/whitesox/chi-0511110222nov11,1,7195169.story?coll=chi-sportsbaseball-hed)
November 11, 2005

Budget may handcuff Sox (http://www.chicagotribune.com/sports/baseball/whitesox/chi-0511110234nov11,1,440363.story?coll=chi-sportsbaseball-hed)
November 11, 2005

Chips

11-12-2005, 01:02 PM

CUBS HAVE HAVEN'T LOST IN A MONTH.

RallyBowl

11-12-2005, 01:29 PM

WOOD THROWS STRIKES, NO ARM INJURIES REPORTED

CHARITY BOWLING EVENT BIG SUCESS

AUTOGRAPHED TOILET SEAT SOLD TO RONNIE WOO WOO
LIFELONG CUB FAN, LIFELONG BUM PAYS WITH STYROFOAM CUPS FULL OF CHANGE

INSIDE-

WE TAKE A LOOK AT A SIMULATED CHARITY BOWLING EVENT HOSTED BY MARK BURLIE. NO ONE SHOWED UP. WE ASK CAREER CUB GREG MADDUX WHY.

peeonwrigley

11-13-2005, 04:33 PM

Special Tribune Commemorative Edition:

Out of the 'Hood!
6 Page Glossy Coverage of World Series

Featuring:
- Commentary of Low Key Celebrations from Owner of The Cubby Bear
- Special Guest Writer (on loan from Sun Times) Carol Slezak writes about why this just never felt right
- Reaction from a Cub fan stranded south of Madison, fearing for his life
- GAME 1 & 2 PHOTOS taken by Ronnie Woo Woo on a disposable Kodak

Hitmen77

11-14-2005, 04:42 PM

Bears Quickly Becoming Chicago's Sports Story of the Year!
- Season to date edges out Cubs attendance figures for top local story.

Brewski

11-15-2005, 05:42 PM

South Side Road Construction To Make Area Inaccessible For Next 2 Years

White Sox May be Moved to Kewanee Middle School Field For Duration

GoSox2K3

11-17-2005, 09:51 AM

Blum Gone - Is Konerko Next?See the back page of today's sports section for a list of players about to leave the Sox and a list of all-stars about to be acquired by the Cubs.

Fox and ESPN Announce Layoffs, No Holiday Bonuses for Remaining Staff. Poor Sox TV ratings to blame.

Voice of the People:
- Classless Sox fans are still celebrating tainted World Series win. Can someone let these tatooed parolees know that nobody cares? The World Series is over, it's time for all of Chicago to get back to unrestrained Cubs-mania.

1951Campbell

11-17-2005, 10:07 AM

Sox Dynasty Broken Up

Blum Dealt to Padres

Sox 2006 Season Shaping Up To Be Reminiscent of 1998 Marlins'

pythons007

11-17-2005, 11:57 AM

POWER HITTING BLUM GOES BACK TO PADRES. KONERKO NEXT.

DERREK LEE WINSMVP because Pujols and Jones could not be found.

Furcal, Damon, Burnett, and Wagner all to be Cubs in 06.

VenturaSoxFan23

11-17-2005, 12:07 PM

Home Blum
.500 Hitter Leaves South Side For San Diego, Family

"Geoff, woo! Prefers to play against a real team, woo! Like the Cubs, woo!" cites an un-named source.

eriqjaffe

11-17-2005, 12:09 PM

BLUM-MER!
RENT-A-HERO RETURNS TO WHERE HE WAS HAPPY

Stoky44

11-17-2005, 01:09 PM

The Exodus of Power Hitters and WS Heroes begins!
Konerko is next! How much more can they lose?!Cubs payroll will gladly increase with more power and speed players, as Sox standby.

CHEESESOXER

11-17-2005, 07:29 PM

AGAIN, NOBODY AT THE CELL!!
WHITE SOX CAN'T DRAW!

Chisox003

11-17-2005, 07:40 PM

"I just 'Blum' forgot"
-A.L. baseball team's general manager Ken Williamson on why hero Geoff Blum not resigned
-Alcohol to blame? World Series celebration gets too rowdy, infamous GM now showing signs of losing mind as he forgets to sign White Sox legend
-Konerko next? Forgetful Williamson may be in straight jacket, mental hospital, before Hall of Fame first baseman inks new deal

buehrle4cy05

11-17-2005, 09:22 PM

Up in the Eyre no longer
Cubs ink stellar reliever to 2-year bargain deal
"It's where I have wanted to play my entire career. I longed to play at the mecca, the shrine of baseball especially when I played at that dump with no fans that just raised ticket prices and is too cheap to re-sign Paul Konerko and cheated to win a World Series," said Eyre.
Back page: With Eyre choosing the Cubs over the Sox, our top 5 reasons as to why the Cubs are a more desireable team than the White Sox.

Baby Fisk

11-18-2005, 09:03 AM

CUBS SNARE EYRE
On deck: Damon, Burnett, Wagner, Ryan, Thome, Giles, Roger Clemens, Reggie Jackson, Babe Ruth, etc etc!

Sox continue dismantling:
Playoff hero dumped thanklessly

VenturaSoxFan23

11-18-2005, 10:26 AM

Rangers' Sluggers Headed North (Side)
Trade Leicester to Rangers for player to be named; All-Stars Teixeira, Soriano expected to sign (See story below.)

Fan comments: "It's inevitable the Cubs would finally get a good deal."

South Side Reacts In Astonishment: "Where's he gonna play?"

Inside Scoop: National Card Convention In Town.

SOXPHILE

11-18-2005, 10:55 AM

Early Thanksgiving!
March to glory in '06 begins
-Cubs signing of Eyre first of many deals to come for Northsiders
-Furcal, Damon, Mensch, Pierre, all next on long list of free agents expected to sign by Thanksgiving
-Paul Sullivan & Dan McGrath examine in depth this latest "Saviour from San Fran' "
"With Eyre and all the other free agents coming, like so many presents 'neath the Christmas tree, likely championship in 2006 for Cubs will be first in a decade long dynasty" [more inside- pages 2-8]

Tribune Special-
Faded Sox

Nearly 1 month after tainted "championship", cold, barren parking lots around the Cell show how no one cares anymore.
-"Where is everybody ?" Don Wycliff compares & contrasts the crowd last Sunday at fun, windy, Soldier Field, and the vacant parking lots surrounding the Cell; asks question that needs to be asked.
-failure to re-sign free agents, lack of merchandise in stores, empty stadium, all point to ugly truth about White Sox. "Get Over It, Sox Fans." Ann Marie Lipinski, Eric Zorn & Ronnie Woo Woo also contributed to this story.

Dan Mega

11-18-2005, 11:18 AM

SIGNING OF EYRE PUSHES CUBS INTO MLB ELITE
Lucky and Cheating 2005 White Sox set to lose 100 games with loss of Blum

"Get A Grip"- Editor Tells Sox fan why the Cubs will always be Chicago's and America's team
**Oh wait, that last one actually happened**

Hitmen77

11-18-2005, 11:57 AM

Coming Sunday - Special Thanksgiving-related Articles:

Somber Holidays
- Article examining how people in Minnesota, Cleveland, Boston, LA, Houston, and Chicago (with its huge Cubs fan base) will not be enjoying Thanksgiving, Christmas this year thanks to the selfish White Sox and their classless fans. Numerous photos of disappointed children from each city.

Why Do Good Things Happen to Bad People?
- As we approach the holiday season, special guest column by Father Greeley examines the question of why hateful Sox fans were rewarded with a World Series title this year while the angelic Cub fan base continues to suffer with dignity.

TommyJohn

11-18-2005, 10:11 PM

Coming Sunday - Special Thanksgiving-related Articles:

Why Do Good Things Happen to Bad People?
- As we approach the holiday season, special guest column by Father Greeley examines the question of why hateful Sox fans were rewarded with a World Series title this year while the angelic Cub fan base continues to suffer with dignity.

Now this is what I call an "Instant Classic." Great post!

RallyBowl

11-19-2005, 09:08 AM

WE CAN'T GET ANYONE TO BUY OR READ THIS RAG

SO UNFORTUNATELY WE MUST RAISE CUBS TICKET PRICES

Hendu

11-19-2005, 02:42 PM

Ace took Cubs' offer without seeking other bids
Scott Eyre was so intent on becoming a Cub he accepted their three-year, $11 million offer without trying to find out if he could get more elsewhere.

*Actual headline from Tribune's website, 11/19. Yes, they called Eyre an "ace."

TornLabrum

11-19-2005, 03:31 PM

Ace took Cubs' offer without seeking other bids

Scott Eyre was so intent on becoming a Cub he accepted their three-year, $11 million offer without trying to find out if he could get more elsewhere.

*Actual headline from Tribune's website, 11/19. Yes, they called Eyre an "ace."

And that's why we consider the Tribune and its minions "jokers."

Hitmen77

11-19-2005, 05:03 PM

Now this is what I call an "Instant Classic." Great post!

Thanks. I couldn't believe it when the Cub-Times ran an editorial from a priest saying that he had no problem with the Sox, he just couldn't stand Sox fans. Wow, nice Christian attitude by a man of the cloth regarding a sporting event. Really in keeping with Jesus's teachings.

Hitmen77

11-19-2005, 05:05 PM

Ace took Cubs' offer without seeking other bids

Scott Eyre was so intent on becoming a Cub he accepted their three-year, $11 million offer without trying to find out if he could get more elsewhere.

*Actual headline from Tribune's website, 11/19. Yes, they called Eyre an "ace."

Again, the Cubune outdoes us in coming up with outrageous headlines.

kevin57

11-20-2005, 01:28 PM

Thanks. I couldn't believe it when the Cub-Times ran an editorial from a priest saying that he had no problem with the Sox, he just couldn't stand Sox fans. Wow, nice Christian attitude by a man of the cloth regarding a sporting event. Really in keeping with Jesus's teachings.

If I interpret this correctly, (Fr.) Greeley actually did write a column of this nature? If so, then as a priest myself, let me assure my fellow Sox fans that Fr. Goofley is not respected by most fellow clergy. Self-aggrandizing would be just the first--and most charitable--word I could use. :rolleyes:

soxfanatlanta

11-20-2005, 02:12 PM

If I interpret this correctly, (Fr.) Greeley actually did write a column of this nature? If so, then as a priest myself, let me assure my fellow Sox fans that Fr. Goofley is not respected by most fellow clergy. Self-aggrandizing would be just the first--and most charitable--word I could use. :rolleyes:

You mean this guy dosen't have a big red phone directly to The Man? Whew, what a relief! I thought I was going to be hit by a bolt of lightning or something nasty like that. I guess I can get out of my bunker now and put my on my Sox hat
:tongue:

Me no likey the Cubune.

Dolly

11-20-2005, 02:55 PM

If I interpret this correctly, (Fr.) Greeley actually did write a column of this nature? If so, then as a priest myself, let me assure my fellow Sox fans that Fr. Goofley is not respected by most fellow clergy. Self-aggrandizing would be just the first--and most charitable--word I could use. :rolleyes:Yes, he sure did. Read for yourself....

http://www.suntimes.com/output/greeley/cst-edt-greel28.html

And thank you for your reassurance. As a fellow Catholic, to say I was disappointed is a gross understatement.

SoxSpeed22

11-20-2005, 03:05 PM

BEARS BEGIN PLAYOFF TICKET SALES.
Cubs to follow suit

kevin57

11-20-2005, 09:06 PM

Yes, he sure did. Read for yourself....

http://www.suntimes.com/output/greeley/cst-edt-greel28.html

And thank you for your reassurance. As a fellow Catholic, to say I was disappointed is a gross understatement.

"Thanks" for the link. Yes, that is how so many Cub fans feel superior. They don't cheer our losses. That's because most are so damn arrogant (and uninformed about baseball) that they don't even recognize there is another team in town.

Greeley: arrogant and self-aggrandizing. :angry:

VenturaSoxFan23

11-21-2005, 12:50 PM

Bears Undefeated Streak At Two Months
Only Three More Months To Break Cubs' Standard, Last Set Oct '04-Feb '05

Cubs Playoff Tickets On Sale
eBay Reports Swift Sales In Cubs' Nostalgia; 1984 WS Tix A Top-Seller

Baby Fisk

11-22-2005, 09:06 AM

SOX FANS ERUPT INTO BITTER ACRIMONY
...AS A.L. TEAM IS THEORETICALLY DISMANTLED BY RADIO REPORT

"If they trade McCarthy, I say we riot!": Fagan O'Hagan, angry Bridgeport resident

"If they trade Contreras, I say we riot!": Manuel Samuel, angry Pilsen resident

"If they trade Rowand, I say we riot!": Biff Biffley, random south side resident with mullett

Hitmen77

11-22-2005, 02:18 PM

City Hall's Security Woes
- World Series trophy display to attract hate-filled Sox fans with criminal records to City Hall this week.
- Cub fans fear for safety, ask for increased security.

Cubs Attendance Trophy To Be Displayed in Tribune Tower Lobby Dec. 1st-24th.
- Xmas Shoppers Can View Trophy of Chicago's favorite team as part of their Mag Mile visit.
- Santo H.O.F. petition will also be available for fans to sign.

hsnterprize

11-22-2005, 06:28 PM

Yes, he sure did. Read for yourself....

http://www.suntimes.com/output/greeley/cst-edt-greel28.html

And thank you for your reassurance. As a fellow Catholic, to say I was disappointed is a gross understatement.

And after reading that God-awful piece of alleged-journalistic garb, I couldn't be more "disappointed". He probably would say "God is a Cub fan" if the Cubs did what the Sox did this past season.

If I were Catholic after reading this crap, I'd convert.

MadetoOrta

11-22-2005, 06:32 PM

For those of you who aren't Catholic, Greeley self-excommunicated himself from the Church years ago. He gone!

Flight #24

11-23-2005, 04:03 PM

White-flag II?? Sox begin deconstruction of Championship team with trade of fan favorite Rowand.

Dan Mega

11-23-2005, 04:47 PM

Signing of allstar relievers Howry and Eyre mark start of Cubs Dynasty!

Classless Sox trade Rowand for Thome, cops gearing for southside riot

Hitmen77

11-23-2005, 05:06 PM

Cubs Acquire Howry!
- $8 million/year on middle relievers is stroke of genius by Hendry
- Howry blasts Sox fans, glad to be playing for Chicago's real team
- Damon, Furcal begging for chance to play for Cubs

Sox Continue to Dismantle World Series Team
- Fan favorite Rowand dumped for oft-injured, old player
- Sox give up 2 future Hall of Famers in deal
- This is the White Flag Trade all over again cries bitter Sox fans
- Rowand, Everett gone. Konerko, Crede, McCarthy, Contreras to follow?

Paul Sullivan: Comparison of Marlins and White Sox fire sales
- Poor attendance and terrible ballparks key factor in both team's rush to dump stars. Are both teams looking to relocate to another city in near future?

RallyBowl

11-23-2005, 05:34 PM

SOMBER SIGNING

SMUT SOX DEAL ROWAND FOR THE WHITE FRANK THOMAS

FORMER SLUGGER THOME NOW OLD AND BROKEN DOWN, BUT GUESS WHAT? HE'S STILL A CUB FAN.

whitesoxwin

11-23-2005, 05:41 PM

Cubs Cry Foul!!!

Thome deal was set

The White Sox and Philly planned this move two years ago to force Cubs to pay more for current 1st baseman
Resulting in the Tribune Co. raising ticket prices.
MLB and FBI investigating--Possible fraud charges forthcoming!

"Not only did we have to raise prices, no doubt costing many fans to miss seeing the best team in Chicago, but we had to ruin the charm of the bleachers by adding more seating just to allow us to break even" exclaimed a Cub spokesperson.

Howry back in Chicago
Glad to be playing for Chicago's real contender, not for a one shot wonder like the White Sox

"I'll prove just what I said last summer. The White Sox were just lucky." noted new Cubbie pitcher

santo=dorf

11-23-2005, 06:04 PM

BIG MOVE IN CHICAGO BASEBALL MADE
Cubs ink superstar Bob Howry!!! (not quite official)
Coming Sundays, Howry joins Tribune staff to bash Sox attendance!

Soxfanspcu11

11-23-2005, 06:41 PM

CUBS CONTINUE TO PROVE THAT THEY ARE THE GREATEST FRANCHISE IN HISTORY OF SPORTS!

-With the signing of future hall of famers Eyre and Howry, Cubs prove that they are the real deal!
-With D. Lee all but guaranteed to hit .450 next season, Aramis Ramirez to win the triple crown, and Corey Patterson to break from his slump and bat at-least .350 in '06, will the Cubs be the first team to go 162-0??? Our expert writer's give 50 reasons why the answer is YES!

Kenny Williams confirms Sox fans concerns that he is the worst GM in baseball.

"Jim Thome??? Who is this guy?!?! I can't believe the Sox would deal Rowand when it is beyond clear that he is the next Willie Mays!" says Sox fan living in Schaumburgh.
-Our expert baseball writer's all agree, Kenny Williams is completely clueless. "Sure his team won the World Series, but this guy is not baseball savvy. He is not fit to lick Jim Hendry's boots. If the Cubs don't win at least 120 games next year, it will be a complete disappointment. Also, look for the Sox to lose at least 120."

antitwins13

11-24-2005, 02:01 AM

Kenny Williams cuts clubhouse cancer Frank Thomas from team's future
Jim Thome also aquired

Coolpapa

11-24-2005, 02:09 AM

Aaron Rowand gets his Thanksgiving wish, gets to play at Wrigley field.

Unable to bring Terrel Owens to Chicago, Reinsdorf and KW settle on Thome

Optipessimism

11-24-2005, 03:45 AM

Howry Intentionally Sucked for Sox
Future Hall of Famer Always a Cub at Heart

TornLabrum

11-24-2005, 07:52 AM

Page 1:
Howry signing guarantees 2006 Cubs pennant

Page 7:

Sox dismantling disappointing 2005 squad
Inexplicably trade former GM Roland Hemond for Cubs reject Thome

TommyJohn

11-24-2005, 08:55 AM

Sox begin dismantling 2005 Champions

Rowand for Thome worst trade since Sosa for Bell

"When I heard Chicago, I thought they meant the Cubs. Why do you think I approved the deal?" says washed-up DH 1st baseman

Paul Sullivan: Cubs rejected Thome in 2003 for Hee Seop Choi, who helped team get within 5 outs of World Series

Jim Leyland says Sox have that 'sinking feeling.'
Manager of 1997 World Champ Marlins talks about how the 1998 team went 54-108; sees similar fate for 06 White Sox

chisoxmike

11-24-2005, 12:25 PM

Actual Trib sub-headline today on chicagotribune.com

The White Sox break up part of the heart of their World Series championship team by trading a fan favorite for Peoria native Jim Thome.

GoSox2K3

11-24-2005, 12:29 PM

Coming Sunday, Howry joins Tribune staff to bash Sox attendance!

:kneeslap: LOL! That's a good one. Howry will fit in well at the Tribune Company.

ChiSoxLifer

11-25-2005, 01:42 AM

:tongue: This is horrible. After reading some articles and posts in the Chicagosports.com site, I came here to get my White Sox fix. Now I can't separate fact from fiction. Any help? ER...so sorry.

Fantosme

11-25-2005, 01:47 AM

:tongue: This is horrible. After reading some articles and posts in the Chicagosports.com site, I came here to get my White Sox fix. Now I can't separate fact from fiction. Any help?

Someone call the Teal Police.

ChiSoxLifer

11-25-2005, 02:05 AM

Shooting occurs at 1060 W. Addison Street in Chicago, Illinois

Further proof the 10 mile radius around U.S. Cellular is riddled with crime. Saintly Cubs fan administers first aid to shooting victim and saves his life.

Hitmen77

11-29-2005, 09:04 PM

...Howry joins Tribune staff to bash Sox attendance!

ding, ding, ding, ding!!!!!! We have a winner!!!!

http://chicagosports.chicagotribune.com/sports/baseball/cubs/cs-051129cubs,1,2612405.story?coll=cs-home-headlines

kevin57

11-29-2005, 09:10 PM

Thome to Entice Konerko into Signing
GM Kenny Williams can't get the job done
Obvious why he wasn't chosen Exec of the Year

Fuller_Schettman

11-29-2005, 09:15 PM

Page 7:

Sox dismantling disappointing 2005 squad
Inexplicably trade former GM Roland Hemond for Cubs reject Thome

This is the funniest thing I have seen on here all year! :rolling:

SoxSpeed22

11-29-2005, 10:37 PM

Now I can't separate fact from fiction. Any help? You could use this.
:tealtutor:
And for old time's sake...
http://img463.imageshack.us/img463/9281/myeyes8zx.jpg
Seriously, those cyan words hurt.

New acquisition makes splash with Wrigley crowd.
Howry emphasizes importance of attendence, Furcal to sign.

hose

11-30-2005, 06:22 AM

Trouble in Grinderville?.....

Kenny Williams puts himself ahead of the team and misses Thome's press conference for the Stones.

SOXPHILE

11-30-2005, 10:00 AM

Cubs Win !
Baby cheetah cubs get needed care*
*(Oh, wait, that's an actual headline for a story on page 8 of the Tribune today)

Why Everyone Loves The Cubs
Free agent signings of Eyre, Howry, and upcoming deals with Furcal, Pierre, Damon, Ramirez, Mensch continue to proove that everyone longs to play for beloved northsiders. -Part 1 of 10 part series by Paul Sullivan

-Drunk driver pulled over in Bridgeport, within sight of U.S. Cellular Field. Eric Zorn takes a look at what this latest blemish means for the White Sox, and surrounding impoverished neighborhood

Hangar18

11-30-2005, 10:20 AM

Cubs to win in 06?

Thome press conference garners low ratings
Maddux press conference in 04 80% higher
Proves everyone cares more about Cubs than SOX

Catalog shoppers still love the Cubs
Mlb.com says Cubs more worthy of prominent display and producs
over World Series Champ SOX