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voodoochile
08-05-2005, 04:30 PM
Due to the popularity of the original thread, we had to close it to make things easier on the server. Feel free to read it by following the link and feel free to keep those hilarious headlines coming...

Volume 1
http://www.whitesoxinteractive.com/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=53594

Volume 2
http://www.whitesoxinteractive.com/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=55603

Sox lead nearly down to double digits.

Flubs fighting hard for the WC - only 3 teams between them and a playoff slot!

See interview with Ronnie Woo Woo - How he survived his chance encounter with William Lique at Soxfest

FarWestChicago
09-25-2005, 08:42 PM
And here we are with Volume III. Have at it.

Hitmen77
09-25-2005, 08:46 PM
:tomatoaward :tomatoaward :tomatoaward :tomatoaward :tomatoaward :tomatoaward :tomatoaward :tomatoaward :tomatoaward :tomatoaward

Sox Fans Spend Summer Making 1000 Fake Trib Headlines!

DumpJerry
09-25-2005, 08:50 PM
Twins choke
Da Bums :angry:

cheeses_h_rice
09-25-2005, 08:51 PM
BLUE SEAT BONANZA
Nearly 10,000 Empty Seats Watch Game at Tumbleweed-Infested Cell

CUBS WIN!!!
.500, Here We Come!

C-Dawg
09-25-2005, 08:54 PM
CUBS ON VERGE OF HISTORIC THREE-PEAT WINNING SEASONS!

SOX DON'T SELL OUT FINAL GAME

Mark Buehrle winner in home finale

EDIT: Wow great minds think alike!! See above post. ^

PaleHoseGeorge
09-25-2005, 09:02 PM
CUBS ON VERGE OF HISTORIC THREE-PEAT WINNING SEASONS!

SOX DON'T SELL OUT FINAL GAME

Mark Buehrle winner in home finale

EDIT: Wow great minds think alike!! See above post. ^

Let me help you with that.
:cool:

THREE-PEAT!
Cubs on verge of historic back-to-back-to-back winning seasons!
Still two games shy, Dusty laments simulated games don't count

Soxzilla
09-25-2005, 09:15 PM
Imfamous 'dorp' heard round the world allows Sox to UNEARN their way into post-season.
Mark Buehrle pitches CG shutout against Hunter-less Twins.

churlish
09-25-2005, 09:28 PM
SOX Continue Winning Ways In "Comedy Central"
Mariotti: Cubs Would Have 100 Wins In Inferior AL

DrCrawdad
09-25-2005, 09:54 PM
(multiple tomatoes) Sox Fans Spend Summer Making 1000 Fake Trib Headlines!


Since I started the whole discussion thread entitled, "You Write Tomorrows Cubune Headline" I think I should be getting residuals on this continued discussion.

:gulp: :) :gulp:

chisoxfanatic
09-25-2005, 09:56 PM
Since I started the whole discussion thread entitled, "You Write Tomorrows Cubune Headline" I think I should be getting residuals on this continued discussion.

:gulp: :) :gulp:

We can let you take a picture with the "Cubs Suck" drummer under the 35th St. viaduct for the main page here, kay? :cool:

1951Campbell
09-25-2005, 10:04 PM
Faltering Sox Bullpen Forces Buehrle Into Complete Game Win


Game Marred by Several Everett Strikeouts, Empty Blue Seats

Ligues, Dybas Frolick in Post-Rita Showers With Sole Goal of Spiting Hurricane's Victims

lths06
09-25-2005, 10:28 PM
Bears Outdraw Fading White Sox Once Again

SoxSpeed22
09-25-2005, 10:32 PM
Picked Pockets
Orton experiences rookie mistakes as Bengals get 5 interceptions.

Closer to Dustiny- 3rd winning season on horizon

Magic number and attendence fall as fans boo Sox to victory

mr_genius
09-25-2005, 11:53 PM
Magic number and attendence fall as fans boo Sox to victory


:rolling:

StillMissOzzie
09-26-2005, 01:45 AM
GEOGRAPHICAL ERROR REVEALED!

Cub lament-"If we were in the NL West division we'd still be right in there!"

SMO
:gulp:

RedHeadPaleHoser
09-26-2005, 07:25 AM
BEARS REVEAL SHOCKER

Inability to win game in second half tied to sonic boom caused due to South Side Baseball Team SHOOTING fireworks at game.

CUBS ANNOUNCE ONLY "BEAR FRIENDLY" RULES AT WRIGLEY

Dusty Baker announced today that the Cubs' stadium expansion will have no impact on the Bears being able to focus next fall. 'We aren't callous like that other baseball team..." echoed Baker. "Our fans know the Bears need all the help they can get - scaring them with loud noises is poor baseball."

Hitmen77
09-26-2005, 07:46 AM
Since it'll get buried in the Sox Clubhouse, I wanted to give people a link to "Volume II" of this thread:
http://www.whitesoxinteractive.com/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=55603

A link to Volume I can be found at the beginning of this current thread.



GO SOX! :bandance:

Hangar18
09-26-2005, 08:56 AM
Cub Playoff Tickets on sale!
North siders still have slim chance despite elimination

Pineilla to manage Cubs?

SOXPHILE
09-26-2005, 09:56 AM
NOOOO !! Bengals Beat Bears !
Mayor asks Feds to halt City Hall Probe to investigate why.
Expected to address city council today on this crisis and to call for a city wide week of mourning and prayer.
More inside special 750 page wrap-around section.

Cubs Win ! Take 2 of 3 from contending Astros.
N.L. Wildcard Stadings
Team GB
Astros -
Phillies 1
Marlins 5
Mets 6.5
Brewers 7.5
CUBS 8

In WOMANEWS: White Sox week in review. Last 8 games: Won, Lost, Won, Lost, Lost, Won, Won, Won. See you next week.

Hitmen77
09-27-2005, 07:55 AM
More Extended Coverage on Bears Loss*
(*this is aimed at the Chicago media as a whole and not specifically the Trib)

Sox Lose! Fans Jumping Off Bandwagon - Cubs Merchandise Sales Skyrocket.

What Does Dusty Baker Think About the Sox Chances?

Tribune Co. set to order champaign, prepares for company wide celebration if Sox are eliminated.

Hangar18
09-27-2005, 08:35 AM
5 ways Cubs can still make playoffs

Bears lose. 2nd day of talking about it

Bears lose. Did we tell you they lost?

Cubs to push payroll limits

Cubs Postseason Wrap-up

GoSox2K3
09-27-2005, 11:22 AM
Sox Fan Ruins Game for South Siders.
- Joins Ligue, Dubyas in long list of Sox fans ruining games.

cheeses_h_rice
09-27-2005, 11:41 AM
SOX LOSE...BWAAHAHAHAHAHA!
Dan McGrath Interviews Tom Gamboa Again, p. 2

Hangar18
09-27-2005, 11:45 AM
In case you were out of town, Bears Lost.

What recent Bears loss means to Chicago

miker
09-27-2005, 12:01 PM
Orton Intercepted Again
Picks continue at high rate during practice in Lake Forest

Fans Website Threat to Objective Sports Journalism
Disgruntled anti-Cub fans use cheesy weblog to complain to no one in particular

Get Your 2006 Cub World Series Tickets Now
We recommend our own scalper

SoxFan78
09-27-2005, 04:32 PM
Ozzie benches White Sox's hottest hitter! Does he want to lose?
Two page special pullout section highlighting all of Ozzie's coaching mistakes this season.

CHW 3B J. Crede's wife has baby.

Soxfanspcu11
09-27-2005, 05:14 PM
Clueless Sox fans cheer for no reason!
The reason was because Kansas City beat Cleveland extend central lead

White Sox promoting suicide by having men jump from planes on to field!
Skydivers fall from the skies over U.S. Cellular Field during Sox final home game. Are mass suicides next?

White Sox so brutally boring to watch, US Cellular broadcasts Bears game on Jumotron.
Are Cubs games soon to follow? We spoke to a White Sox fan at random to get his thoughts.
"Im almost positive U.S. Cellular Field will start broadcasting Cubs games because they are much more entertaining plus everyone in the stadium are really Cubs fans that couldn't get tickets" says Mr.Woo

jerry myers
09-27-2005, 05:21 PM
cubs ending on high note. sox fading fast.

antitwins13
09-27-2005, 05:30 PM
Sox have no chance at WS! Curse of the Gambino destined to stop miracle season.

http://images.google.com/images?q=tbn:638WVCjxTYEJ:www.onlineathens.com/images/092102/gamboa.jpg (http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.onlineathens.com/images/092102/gamboa.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.onlineathens.com/stories/092102/spo_20020921087.shtml&h=500&w=369&sz=27&tbnid=638WVCjxTYEJ:&tbnh=127&tbnw=93&hl=en&start=7&prev=/images%3Fq%3DTom%2BGamboa%26svnum%3D10%26hl%3Den%2 6lr%3D) His testimony on pg 3

Hitmen77
09-27-2005, 10:45 PM
Indians, Red Sox, and Yanks All Play Like They're the White Sox Tonight.

cheeses_h_rice
09-27-2005, 10:49 PM
BLUMMED OUT.
Choking Dog White Sox Continue Historic Fade

Yankees, BoSox, Tribe Also Lose.
We Show You How '04 Cubs Would Have Made Playoffs If Playoff Contenders Faded Just Like the White Sox's Are Doing, p. 2

MRKARNO
09-27-2005, 10:51 PM
Actual subheading from chicagosports.com:

" the Detroit Tigers handed the first-place White Sox another costly loss"

Did anyone tell that writer that our chance of making the playoffs actually went up today, in spite of the loss?

mdep524
09-28-2005, 01:31 AM
Duked!!
Gritty, classy Cubs battle hard, put up 3-spot on Ace in Waiting in loss to Pirates

Duke: I could see myself in a Cubs uniform

CHICAGO-- They could have just as easily mailed it in. Or gone through the motions lethargically. But the Cubs valiantly battled on toward October and pulled out all the stops Tuesday night, banging out three runs against future star Zach Duke and the Pittsburgh Pirates.


Settling For Less
Sox give up on winning, focus on rooting for Devil Rays to deliver postseason berth

Soxfanspcu11
09-28-2005, 02:46 AM
Duked!!
Gritty, classy Cubs battle hard, put up 3-spot on Ace in Waiting in loss to Pirates

Duke: I could see myself in a Cubs uniform

CHICAGO-- They could have just as easily mailed it in. Or gone through the motions lethargically. But the Cubs valiantly battled on toward October and pulled out all the stops Tuesday night, banging out three runs against future star Zach Duke and the Pittsburgh Pirates.


Settling For Less
Sox give up on winning, focus on rooting for Devil Rays to deliver postseason berth



The part about being in a "Cubs uniform" would be a seperate story all together. And the "future star Zach Duke" would instead read, " future Cubs star Zach Duke" and probably a sub-headline that read "Duke dominant at Wrigley, once Duke becomes a Cub, the best rotation in the history of baseball is complete!"

Fungo
09-28-2005, 08:35 AM
Crede bails on Sox
Slugger returns home to Missouri to be home with his wife, Lisa, who is expecting the couples second child

SOXPHILE
09-28-2005, 09:23 AM
Heart of a Champ !
"Bulldog" Maddux brilliant, comes up just short in 5-3 loss to improving Bucs.
-Shouldn't affect his divine quest for 15 W's in '05
-There's still hope, as Cardinals & Marlins lose, N.L. Central, Wilcard still up for grabs

In Metro- Eric Zorn relates his days' experiences waiting on the phone trying to buy Cubbies post season tix

Disgruntled Crede abandons team just when sinking Sox need him most. Sox week in review coming Sunday in TempoWoman.

Fungo
09-28-2005, 09:55 AM
Maddux gets it done.
Ace guaranteed 17 straight years of 13 or more wins

Realist
09-28-2005, 09:29 PM
Do To An Unfortunate Set Of Circumstances, Today's Chicago Cub.... er... We Mean Tribune Will Not be Providing A Sports Section Today. We Apologize For Any Inconvienience. The Sports Section Should Be Back Up And Running By November 1. Thank You For Your Patience And Understanding.

cheeses_h_rice
09-28-2005, 09:34 PM
WRIGLEY BLEACHER RECONSTRUCTION
BEGINS
We Have Your Step-By-Step Guide to the Improvements Being Made to the Friendly Confines
Plus, Tips on How to Buy 2006 Bleacher Seats from Wrigley Premium Services

White Sox squeak by AAA Tigers

1951Campbell
09-28-2005, 09:54 PM
Tribune Ombudsman Denies Link Between Wrigley Premium Services Ticket Price Hikes and Tribune Co. Owing $1 Billion in Back Taxes

Ombudsman: "Cubs Town, Caveat Emptor, Human Condition...Whatever, Man"

Sox Score Too Late For This Edition

cubhater77
09-28-2005, 09:57 PM
[mod edit]

Sayonara. Your insights will be missed.

Chips
09-28-2005, 09:59 PM
CUBS PLAY LIKE SOX AS THEY CANNOT SCORE WITH BASES LOADED AND NOBODY OUT IN NINTH.

Realist
09-28-2005, 09:59 PM
.500 still within reach.

:tsk: You might wanna edit or erase that post. Not cool.

Hitmen77
09-28-2005, 10:54 PM
Cubbie Faithful Say Goodbye to Wrigley for Season!
- Cubs Win "Attendance" Championship. Grant Park Celebration to Follow.
- 2006 Will See New Bleachers, Furcal, and Damon at Friendly Confines.

In other news:
- Chicago (AL) Closing in on Playoffs - Fail to Spark Interest in Chicago. Fans Turn Attention to Bears.

Deuce
09-28-2005, 11:11 PM
Sox One Win Away from Getting Swept in the Playoffs

Foulke You
09-29-2005, 01:46 AM
THANKS TO CHICAGO'S GREATEST FANS!
Another great soldout season at Wrigley Field has concluded this year as once again, it shows who really is #1 in the hearts of Chicago
(Cubs drop 2005 Wrigley Finale to Pirates 5-3)


IT'S GRILLI TIME!
Former Sox Pitcher looks to beat the franchise that wronged him!
(Sox reduce magic # to 2)

peeonwrigley
09-29-2005, 02:01 AM
Cubs Win City Attendance Crown Again!!

Prior & Wood Arm up for '06

Bleacher Construction Begins!
Buy tickets now at Premium Tickets!

Tigers Feel Bad, Let Sox Have One
Indians Screwed, Will Sweep Weekend Series Though

chidonez
09-29-2005, 02:19 AM
This is real:

Cubs aptly fail to bring it home (http://www.chicagotribune.com/sports/baseball/cubs/cs-050928cubsgamer,1,2465352.story?coll=chi-sportsnew-hed)
September 28, 2005
With raindrops falling and the ballpark half-filled Wednesday, the 2005 Cubs bid adieu to Wrigley Field in their own inimitable style.

What? A "half-filled" urinal? Say it ain't so, Santo...

Wsoxmike59
09-29-2005, 05:45 AM
Close, but no cigars
Celebration near: 1 victory needed for division title

Jeeez do I ever hate the ****ing Cubune!! I don't know what they expect of the Sox. They entered the day with a magic # of 4 and cut in 1/2.

BUT THE CHOKERS DIDN'T CLINCH IT ON WEDNESDAY....THEY SUCK!!!

Wsoxmike59
09-29-2005, 06:42 AM
I meant to address this one yesterday(Wed) at work. But the Cubune headline was:

Tigers 3, White Sox 2



Choke hold
Sox fail in clutch, but foes' losses reduce magic number


I don't EVER remember during the past two seasons when the beloved Cubbies double choked their seasons away, seeing a BOLD FACED HEADLINE WITH THE WORD "CHOKE" IN IT!!!


But the Tribune isn't biased in their coverage of baseball teams.....Nooooo!:angry:

Hitmen77
09-29-2005, 08:23 AM
I meant to address this one yesterday(Wed) at work. But the Cubune headline was:

Tigers 3, White Sox 2



Choke hold
Sox fail in clutch, but foes' losses reduce magic number


I don't EVER remember during the past two seasons when the beloved Cubbies double choked their seasons away, seeing a BOLD FACED HEADLINE WITH THE WORD "CHOKE" IN IT!!!


But the Tribune isn't biased in their coverage of baseball teams.....Nooooo!:angry:

The Cubune has been doing this to the Sox all season through its newspaper and WGN TV.

ThatGuyOnTheL
09-29-2005, 09:20 AM
What? A "half-filled" urinal? Say it ain't so, Santo...

And yet, to quote Sportscenter last night, the Urinal was "still packed." They then proceeded to show game highlights in which half the seats were clearly empty. :rolleyes:

Heck, maybe the Cubune is selling the Scrubs to ESPN to raise some cash for that big tax bill.

Jerko
09-29-2005, 10:13 AM
CLTV: The Cubs ended their Wrigley Field season with a close loss to the Pirates in front of sports' most loyal fans. :angry: :mad: :rolleyes:

Ol' No. 2
09-29-2005, 10:17 AM
Actual Cubune Headline:

Close but no cigar

Gee, it's too bad we lost.

SOXPHILE
09-29-2005, 10:32 AM
Evil, mean talkshow hosts ridicule Cub hero, saint.
-Special Investigation by Tribune looks into possible FCC violations by WSCR, license suspension possible

-Pope may announce canonizing Cub great Santo. First time honor to be bestowed on person still living. (By the way, go see This Old Cub)

Bears bye-week preview- pages 2-6

Eric Zorn's empassioned plea to the Pope to also designate Wrigley Field as "Holy Ground" and a "Miracle"
-In Metro

Will the Sox Choke ?!! When they do, read about it Sunday in TempoWoman

Hitmen77
09-29-2005, 11:29 AM
And yet, to quote Sportscenter last night, the Urinal was "still packed." They then proceeded to show game highlights in which half the seats were clearly empty. :rolleyes:


On Saturday WGN News showed video of the seats at the Cell BEFORE game time and said that the Cell still had plenty of empty seats despite the exciting game. Of course, the game was a sellout and the game highlights clearly showed a full house.

Tribune, ESPN - they're all a bunch of LIARS! The Trib's motivation is obvious. ESPN just wants to pander to what they believe is a big Cub-loving audience.

maurice
09-29-2005, 11:55 AM
TV highlights of the bottom of the 9th in a close cub game with the bases loaded and nobody out revealed that the seats at the Urinal were about 85% empty. Assuming for the sake of argument that the park was at least half-full at some point, then something like 15,000 cub "fans" left the ballgame when the outcome was still in question. One station reported that the cub attendance total was their second highest in team history.

Evil, mean talkshow hosts ridicule Cub hero, saint.

This was an actual story (http://www.chicagotribune.com/sports/columnists/cs-050928sherman,1,4160029.column?coll=chi-sportsnew-hed) that covered a large portion of page 2.

Hangar18
09-29-2005, 12:02 PM
Bears Lose.

Lets talk about the Bears loss last week again.

Cubs sell out Wrigley in home finale
Sox unable to do the same last week

minastirith67
09-29-2005, 12:33 PM
Actual Cubune Headline:

Close but no cigar

Gee, it's too bad we lost.


No kidding. If anyone had ANY doubts whatsoever to their anti-Sox bias, that title right there should clear it up. The frosting on the cake I say...

SoxFan78
09-29-2005, 02:35 PM
"Choking on Champagne"

Oh wait, thats the real headline.

spongyfungy
09-29-2005, 02:38 PM
sorry to re-hash what I wrote in the chat but

Sox clinch! Fans a no-show at the Cell

eriqjaffe
09-29-2005, 02:41 PM
SOX CLINCH DIVISION DESPITE THIS PAPER'S BEST EFFORTS
IF MAGGLIO HAD BEEN HEALTHY ALL YEAR, SOX WOULDN'T HAVE HAD A CHANCE

Church Turtle
09-29-2005, 02:42 PM
Things heating up in the Canadian Football League

TommyJohn
09-29-2005, 03:01 PM
SOX CHOKE!! INDIANS CENTRAL CHAMPS!!

Oops! That was supposed to be Monday's headline!




Brought to you by the Dewey Defeats Truman committee.

whitesoxwin
09-29-2005, 03:22 PM
HOLY COW!!!
THERE'S A NEW CHAMPION IN THIS TOWN!!

CUB'S TAKING THIS WIN TO HEART AS THEY TAKE THEIR SHOW ON THE ROAD


CHICAGO'S AMERICAN LEAGUE FRANCHISE WINS THEIR DIVISION
DEFEATS ONE OF THE LEAGUE'S WORST TEAMS

RICK MORRISEY: PREDICTS 3 AND OUT FOR THE LACKLUSTER SOUTHSIDERS

PaleHoseGeorge
09-29-2005, 03:26 PM
:cubune

antitwins13
09-29-2005, 03:27 PM
Tom Gamboa story part 14


(Sox win AL Central)

Jjav829
09-29-2005, 03:28 PM
Tomorrow's Cubune Headline:

NOOOOOOO!!
Lucky Sox get handed the division.
Dan McGrath: Why the White Sox will be Swept.

CLR01
09-29-2005, 03:28 PM
TRIBUNE STOCK PLUMMETS AFTER TAX SCANDAL.




BAKER BELIEVES WEATHER IN DETROIT RESPONSIBLE FOR SOX SUCCESS.


SOX CLINCH WILDCARD OUTRIGHT!

JRIG
09-29-2005, 03:37 PM
Somber Celebration
White Sox Division Championship marred by memories of Gregg Zaun head injury earlier in the season

Season Comes to A Close Just in Time
One more week, and Indians would have overtaken overmatched Sox

TommyJohn
09-29-2005, 03:43 PM
Somber Celebration
White Sox Division Championship marred by memories of Gregg Zaun head injury earlier in the season

Season Comes to A Close Just in Time
One more week, and Indians would have overtaken overmatched Sox


These look worthy of a McGrath to me. *ahem*

TommyJohn
09-29-2005, 03:53 PM
DAMN!
Sox clinch

The last teams that we at the Tribune Company wanted to think about are
the 1927 Yankees, 1955 Dodgers, 1984 Tigers and 1990 Reds. Those are
the teams that went wire-to-wire and won the world series. We prefer
to think and write about the 1964 Phillies and the 1969 Cubs, who choked
away big leads.

Tomorrow: Special pullout section on wire-to-wire teams that did not make
it to world series.

ilsox7
09-29-2005, 03:54 PM
Dewey Actually Did Defeat Truman; We Swear It!

Hitmen77
09-29-2005, 03:55 PM
Sox Stumble Into Playoffs. Can they avoid a 3-game ALDS sweep?

Cub fans react to Sox playoff berth: Most agree energy level pales in comparison to '03

Paul Sullivan: A look back at the worst post-season defeats in White Sox history.

Uncle_Patrick
09-29-2005, 03:58 PM
Cub fans react to Sox playoff berth: Most agree energy level pales in comparison to '03



Actually, I imagine that this will be the subject of Mike Murphy's show tomorrow.

Deuce
09-29-2005, 03:59 PM
http://img15.imageshack.us/img15/1259/cubune25hp.png

MS Paint sucks, but I had to do it.

PaleHoseGeorge
09-29-2005, 04:01 PM
Somber Clinch!
Empty seats in Detroit witness Sox victory

The Worst 10 Moments in '05 Sox Season
Ozzie's tirades -- and a whole lot more
Paul Sullivan reports

Rambling Nonsense!
Dan Mcgrath isn't sure what to say,
but he's saying it!!!

MarySwiss
09-29-2005, 04:02 PM
http://img15.imageshack.us/img15/1259/cubune25hp.png

MS Paint sucks, but I had to do it.

:rolling:
It's the thought that counts!

A_ROW33
09-29-2005, 04:32 PM
Rolling Towards complete and utter destruction

Sox win two in a row, ready to lose the next 6? Phil Rogers says yes

SOXPHILE
09-29-2005, 04:41 PM
Actually, I imagine that this will be the subject of Mike Murphy's show tomorrow.

Funny you should say that. I was at lunch today, right as the Sox game was starting. I came back to my desk right as the Sox game was beggining, and I still had the Score tuned in. Just before I changed it to AM 1000, I heard Murph say something to the effect that since Sox fans were not listening to him, but watching the Sox game, he wanted to know why everyone thought that the T.V. ratings for the White Sox were higher the last few weeks. His theory was that it was because more Cub fans were watching the games too, since the Cubs were out of it. Then he implored Cub fans to call in and verify this. I wanted to reach through the radio and punch him. What a knob that guy is. I can't wait 'till the Score launches him. I managed to control my anger and calmly change the dial to AM 1000. :angry:

CLR01
09-29-2005, 04:47 PM
IS BASEBALL FIXED? AMERICA WANTS TO KNOW!

CONGRESSIONAL HEARING DAY BEFORE SOX CLINCH RAISES QUESTIONS

SOXPHILE
09-29-2005, 04:50 PM
TRAGEDY IN WRIGLEYVILLE
Mass suicide at homeplate in the Shrine overshadows Chicago A.L. teams victory
-Beloved Cubbie legend Santo; Outstanding columnist Eric Zorn; Musical genius Billy Corgan among them. Tainted blue Kool-Aid suspected culprit.

-In all likelyhood, Sox fans probably used same weed killer they used on our beautiful vines in 2002 to "poison the punch"

Hitmen77
09-29-2005, 04:57 PM
To be fair, the Tribune website does have this story:

Cub Fans Mentally Unbalanced?
http://www.chicagotribune.com/sports/chi-050929rivalry-quote,1,6407691.quote?coll=chi-news-hed

Hitmen77
09-29-2005, 04:58 PM
TRAGEDY IN WRIGLEYVILLE
Mass suicide at homeplate in the Shrine overshadows Chicago A.L. teams victory
-Beloved Cubbie legend Santo; Outstanding columnist Eric Zorn; Musical genius Billy Corgan among them. Tainted blue Kool-Aid suspected culprit.

-In all likelyhood, Sox fans probably used same weed killer they used on our beautiful vines in 2002 to "poison the punch"

LOL!

I hope Jay Mariotti was there with them.

downstairs
09-29-2005, 05:25 PM
Ummmm.... I think this may be a little more accurate:


This Paper Now Owned By The IRS.
Please direct all questions www.irs.gov (http://www.irs.gov)

For local Chicago news, please refer to The Chicago Sun-Times.

1951Campbell
09-29-2005, 05:34 PM
Ummmm.... I think this may be a little more accurate:




This Paper Now Owned By The IRS.

Please direct all questions www.irs.gov (http://www.irs.gov/)

For local Chicago news, please refer to The Chicago Sun-Times.







Nice. First Capone, now the Trib?

SOX LA Mikey
09-29-2005, 06:44 PM
SOX win AL Central :gulp:
We Don't Want To Say We Told You So......

....because we never told you so

jabrch
09-29-2005, 07:00 PM
US Cellular Field Nearly Empty While Sox Clinch

slavko
09-29-2005, 07:38 PM
TRAGEDY IN WRIGLEYVILLE
Mass suicide at homeplate in the Shrine overshadows Chicago A.L. teams victory


BODIES IMMOLATED OVER MAS SIVE FIRE OF BURNING NEWSPAPER CHOKE STORIES

The Racehorse
09-29-2005, 08:07 PM
SOMBER STREAK
Sox Win 2 in a row - clinch AL Central

EDIT: I'll admit to not reading the entire thread... I'm sure the deserved "somber" dig at the Tribune is well represented. :cool:

Wsoxmike59
09-29-2005, 08:59 PM
"Choking on Champagne"

Oh wait, thats the real headline.


un-FOULKEN-believable that that would be their headline! Man the Tribune sucks ass. What a bunch of "hiney" birds they have flying around at Tribune Tower. :angry:

And a word from "The Continental"
http://www.ojai.net/swanson/images/continental.jpg (http://pub28.bravenet.com/forum/show.php?usernum=2399959624&cpv=1)


But first, a glass of fine champagna.

[ he walks over to a table to pour the champagna into two glasses ] You know, champagna is not champagna unless it comes from the province of Champagne. I learned that in Bartending School. Sit, please. [ hands his visitor her glass ] Forgive me if my hungry eyes feast on the banquet of your sumptious decolletage. [ champagne is thrown in his face ] The champagna you have thrown stings my eyes. You are a fiery vixen. You have a spirit.. like a frolicksome colt. [ glass is held before him ] Ah! I see you have changed your mind about the champagna. No one can long resist the lure of those delicate bubbles.. [ reaches for the bottle ] ..each whispering the same message of love. [ the champagne is again thrown in his face ] Thrown champagna in my face once, shame on you. [ adjusts his soaked fake moustache ] Throw champagna in my face twice, shame on me. Very well. I will find the glove.

Congratulations White Sox, drink much champagna tonight and all through the post season!!!

Chips
09-29-2005, 09:22 PM
RON SANTO SEES A WORLD SERIES IN CUBS FUTURE AND SO DO WE: WHY THE 2006 CUBS WILL WIN IT ALL.

flo-B-flo
09-29-2005, 09:34 PM
Crede's wife gives birth to another Sox fan that won't go to games

Local sorts columnist receives heimlich from from William Ligue

flo-B-flo
09-29-2005, 09:41 PM
Crede's wife gives birth to another Sox fan that won't go to games

Local sorts columnist receives heimlich from William Ligue




Don try to type while drinking champagne.

eriqjaffe
09-30-2005, 08:23 AM
CUBS DEAL ASTROS PLAYOFF HOPES HUGE BLOW
"THE NIGHTLIFE HERE IN HOUSTON STINKS," CLAIMS DERREK LEE

SOX MAGIC NUMBER IS TECHNICALLY STILL 1, BEST THEY CAN DO IS TIE.

Viva Medias B's
09-30-2005, 08:53 AM
Wrigley Field Computer Hacked, Sox Fans Suspected
Sox Fan Hackers Post "Congratulations 2005 Chicago White Sox, 2005 A.L. Central Champions" on Wrigley Field Sign

SouthSide_HitMen
09-30-2005, 12:31 PM
CUBS SOLDOUT ROAD EXTRAVAGANZA CONTINUES IN HOUSTON - CUBS PLAYOFF CHASE
As the Cubs keep Houston's magic number at 2 with a 3-2 win.



LESS THAN 13,500 ON HAND TO SEE WHITE SOX "CLINCH" TIE.

Detroit management wished the Cubs were the opponent. "We would have sold out the entire series" was the lament of one Detroit Tigers executive and blamed the poor showing on the fact that nobody wants to watch White Sox Baseball.

Hitmen77
09-30-2005, 02:15 PM
Wal-Marts Around Chicagoland Report High Rate of Absent Employees Today as Sox Fans Celebrate Rare Post Season Berth.

- Chicago's reaction tepid as Sox make playoffs for 1st time this century*





* technically, this century didn't start until 2001.

Hitmen77
09-30-2005, 02:18 PM
:tomatoaward X ELEVEN

Sox Fans Celebrate Championship With Fake Headlines

Hitmen77
10-01-2005, 09:23 AM
Smut Sox Fail in Bid to Throw Game to Indians
- Subs foil Ozzie's bungling ways
- Shades of 1919? Sox have long history of tampering with integrity of game.

WomanNews: We invited 3 exchange students from Austria to attend 9/24 Sox-Twins game. Read how they had an awful time at the game
- ballpark was bland and boring
- fans were completely silent - except for violent drunks.
- Seats were half empty (photo taken at 5:30pm shown as proof of this statement).

Ol' No. 2
10-01-2005, 12:23 PM
William Ligue Pull Out Section

cheeses_h_rice
10-01-2005, 01:29 PM
Smut Sox Fail in Bid to Throw Game to Indians
- Subs foil Ozzie's bungling ways
- Shades of 1919? Sox have long history of tampering with integrity of game.

WomanNews: We invited 3 exchange students from Austria to attend 9/24 Sox-Twins game. Read how they had an awful time at the game
- ballpark was bland and boring
- fans were completely silent - except for violent drunks.
- Seats were half empty (photo taken at 5:30pm shown as proof of this statement).

These are all awesome. Very McGrath Trophy worthy, IMO.

WinOrDyeTrying
10-01-2005, 04:26 PM
Greedy Sox Don't Give Indians Another Shot at Winning

- Why Ozzie hates the midwest, Central division: pg 3
- White Sox fail to thank Cubs for generous Congrats: pg 3 through 7

mjmcend
10-01-2005, 05:38 PM
SEE WE TOLD YOU THAT THE CUBS WOULD PLAY IN MEANINFUL GAMES IN OCTOBER
Nevermind that they are only meaningful for the Astros and Phillies

Chips
10-01-2005, 05:47 PM
CARLOS ZAMBRANO HAS A HIGHER BATTING AVERAGE THAN ANYONE ON THE WHITE SOX: IS THIS WHY THEY SUCK?

SOX LA Mikey
10-01-2005, 05:49 PM
SOXcauseCOLLAPSE IN CLEVELAND

....Boy do WE WISH the word cause wasn't in there

WinOrDyeTrying
10-01-2005, 09:28 PM
Tribune pre-season prediction accuate: White Sox Games Meaningless at Seasons End.

SOXPHILE
10-01-2005, 10:01 PM
Bears Don't Play Today. What Will You Do With Your Life ?

Cubs Reach Extends To Playoffs
As They Hang Tough In A Gritty, 3-1 Loss To Dangerous, Wildcard Contending Astros. Outcome affects playoff picture in N.L.

Page 8: Paul Sullivan's White Sox playoff preview special
-Why Chicago, nation, don't care
-A look back at the bumps and valleys in the '05 season
-Inteviews with William Ligue, and Ex-Sox player Greg Norton's father from prison
-Why games should be held at Wrigley instead of sterile, dangerous U.S. Cellular

JB98
10-01-2005, 10:02 PM
CARLOS ZAMBRANO HAS A HIGHER BATTING AVERAGE THAN ANYONE ON THE WHITE SOX: IS THIS WHY THEY SUCK?

Cliff Politte is batting 1.000 this year. Pretty tough to top that.
:cool:

SoxFan78
10-02-2005, 09:03 AM
If Boston wins the Wild Card, The Red Cubs will play at 3:05.

Tribune pleading to MLB to move game to the best place on earth, Wrigley Field.

Special pull out section for the Red Cubs hilighting their history.

Chicago AL barely wins.

TornLabrum
10-02-2005, 09:55 AM
From the Cubune "Playoff Preview Section":

How to get to the playoff games
Complete directions to Miller Park

TommyJohn
10-02-2005, 12:14 PM
Indians clinch Central! White Sox blow it! Biggest choke in baseball history complete!!

Complete coverage of historic collapse inside:
Phil Rogers: Biggest ever, 1964 Phillies don't compare

we get other perspectives:
Jim Bunning: Geez! We're amateurs compared to these guys!
Ralph Branca: Thanks for taking me off the hook, fellas!
Don Young: Me, too!
Ron Santo: Please elect me to the Hall of Fame? Pretty please?

Doris Kearns Goodwin: White Sox collapse "not poetic or prosaic enough" to merit writing about. "I'll stick with my
gloriously suffering Red Sox. There is such beauty to the pain they inflicted on us all."

ESPN expert sez: blah blah blah blah blah Yankees Red Sox
yap yap yap yap Red Sox Yankees gab gab gab gab New
York Boston blah blah blah blah CHICAGO! biggest collapse
in baseball history!!!! blah blah blah blah Yankees Red Sox..





OOPS!

A message to our readers:

We here at the Tribune made a big mistake. We published a headline
and stories in Monday's paper for an event that actually didn't happen.

You see, we had the headline and stories ready and set to go for the
better part of a month and Dan McGrath was so excited when he saw
them that he ran them without our knowledge. Monday's front page
headline should have read:


Sox clinch wild card, will face Chicago in first round

The Tribune regrets the error

SOXSINCE'70
10-02-2005, 12:33 PM
:cuss: :cuss: :cuss: :cuss:

RED CUBS READY FOR 3 GAME SWEEP OF SOUTH SIDERS


PHIL ROGERS TELLS WHY RED CUBS ARE SO DANGEROUS


DAN MCGRATH SAYS: "CLOSE,BUT NO CIGAR!!"

(OOPS,THAT WAS AN ACTUAL HEADLINE!!)

SOX LA Mikey
10-02-2005, 02:36 PM
standby for an official announcement:

WE HERE AT THE TRIB(CUB)UNE SUPPORT THE
REDSOX 100%:bandance:

24thStFan
10-02-2005, 03:41 PM
Cubs Valiant Effort to Reach .500 Falls
Just Short


Gritty Red Sox
Coming to Town
Begin Defense of 04 Crown


Spent White Sox Hang on for Season Ending Victory

buehrle4cy05
10-02-2005, 03:47 PM
Future Cub Damon happy to play the White Sox
"They stink," said Damon. "But at least I can hang out on the North Side."

Hitmen77
10-02-2005, 06:15 PM
Monday Special Playoff Pullout Section:
Red Sox & Cubs: A side by side comparison of baseball's two most beloved franchises.
- Red Sox in town to play Chicago (AL). First visit to Windy City since exciting Cubs series at Wrigley in June.
- U.S. Cellular expects rare sellouts as Cub fans pulling for Red Sox fill oft-empty seats
- Johnny Damon will spend Monday house shopping in Chicago ahead of eventual Cubs free agent signing.

White Sox not First Team in MLB History to Blow 15 Game Lead and finish season with 6 game lead and 99 wins.

Tempo: Cub fans put away Indians caps (in same drawer that holds their Twins caps) and pull out Red Sox caps for upcoming series.

Chips
10-02-2005, 06:22 PM
BASEBALL SEASON ENDS. CUBS ARE PRIMED TO WIN IT ALL IN 2006
Read why, pages 1-4
Bears preview pages 5-10.

GoSox2K3
10-03-2005, 07:59 AM
Sox clinch wild card, will face Chicago in first round

The Tribune regrets the error


LOL!! :kneeslap:

zach23
10-03-2005, 10:28 AM
Somber Rally.
Sox fans still stunned after team nearly pulls off historic choke.

- Full coverage inside on pickpokets and general riff raff at downtown rally.
- Police brace for possible attack by Ligues during the event. Eric Zorn reports on the latest escapades of the Sox biggest fan William Ligue.
- In depth analysis of Red Sox and interview with future Cub Johnny Damon.

cheeses_h_rice
10-03-2005, 10:46 AM
PLAYOFFS TO BEGIN AT CRIME-RIDDEN CELL
KEVLAR VEST SALES UP 280%
Red Sox Fans, See Our Step by Step Guide to Avoid Getting Killed on Dangerous South Side, p. 2
Police HQ on 35th Street Gears Up for Record Number of Arrests

Hangar18
10-03-2005, 11:13 AM
Bears Lose.
Bears lose tough game a week ago, but were still talking about it

Bears offense, not enough
10 things the Bears need to do to win

Cubs give Astros all they can handle

10 reasons Cubs will play in October next year

Selfish SOX set to cause Financial ruin for many Chicagoans
Wrigleyville merchants, bars to lose millions
Cubby Bear waitress/single-mother, wont be able to feed children
Wrigley Field Vendor to miss car & house payment
Local Beer Distributors lament potential losses
"Everyone bought extra beer for an October run .... were all going to take a hit. You can expect higher prices in the future"

Classy Cubs Prior & Nomar to donate to Cub merchants
"we know working chicagoans are going to need our financial help this offseason"

Hangar18
10-03-2005, 11:20 AM
Higher Beer Prices in immediate Future?
Blame White Sox, say local distributors
"Its all supply and demand, and we'lll have to raise prices to make up for this"
"Its really terrible"
Selfish SOX cause downtown tourism to plummet.
Hotels also "very worried" about impact SOX appearance will have on economy
Michigan avenue merchants predict "nuclear winter"
Restaurants Bars on Division and Rush Noticably vacant too

maurice
10-03-2005, 11:50 AM
Breaking News: Poor people live near the Cell
Reefer madness only steps from Sox dugout!
Famous Columbian, Ozzie Guillen opposes U.S. drug laws
Kanye West: Reinsdorf hates black people
Poor folks on South Side hate Sox, prefer cubs
Woo Woo: Homeless, unemployed also love cubs, Baker
Cubs true blue-collar team; Sox wear black and white
Rumors of multi-million dollar homes in Bridgeport unfounded

Hitmen77
10-03-2005, 07:50 PM
Breaking News: Poor people live near the Cell
Reefer madness only steps from Sox dugout!

Oh, wait, that's the real Cubune headline. :angry:

PaleHoseGeorge
10-03-2005, 07:55 PM
Breaking News: Poor people live near the Cell
Reefer madness only steps from Sox dugout!
Famous Columbian, Ozzie Guillen opposes U.S. drug laws
Kanye West: Reinsdorf hates black people
Poor folks on South Side hate Sox, prefer cubs
Woo Woo: Homeless, unemployed also love cubs, Baker
Cubs true blue-collar team; Sox wear black and white
Rumors of multi-million dollar homes in Bridgeport unfounded

Well, sometimes the Cubune even out-does all of us. I mean, did any of us seriously think pot smoking would ever be the neighborhood crime the Cubune highlights on page 1 the day before the Sox start the playoffs? Un-****ing believable...

Congratulations on your McGrath Trophy. However since we're talking about page 1, we'll make yours the LIPINSKI Trophy.
:wink:

:cubune

cheeses_h_rice
10-03-2005, 07:59 PM
Well, sometimes the Cubune even out-does all of us. I mean, did any of us seriously think pot smoking would ever be the neighborhood crime the Cubune highlights on page 1 the day before the Sox start the playoffs? Un-****ing believable...

Congratulations on your McGrath Trophy. However since we're talking about page 1, we'll make yours the LIPINSKI Trophy.
:wink:

:cubune

PHG, I've been waiting for you to chime in on that piece of **** excuse for an article.

I'm just wondering what the Cubune's reasoning is for timing that article on the eve of one of the Sox's rare playoff appearances. I mean, the playoff angle isn't important to the story, so why run it now?

Meanwhile, how many days did it take before the Cubune finally gave the Wrigley murder story its proper exposure? Something like 3 or 4?

PaleHoseGeorge
10-03-2005, 08:02 PM
PHG, I've been waiting for you to chime in on that piece of **** excuse for an article.

I'm just wondering what the Cubune's reasoning is for timing that article on the eve of one of the Sox's rare playoff appearances. I mean, the playoff angle isn't important to the story, so why run it now?

Meanwhile, how many days did it take before the Cubune finally gave the Wrigley murder story its proper exposure? Something like 3 or 4?

I would have written a News Watch, but I'm simply too busy and too tired. Suffice to say I was completely dumbfounded. It's so over the top, I'm left nearly speechless. Nearly.

:wink:

tebman
10-03-2005, 08:30 PM
Re: Cubune "Insular Field" story
I would have written a News Watch, but I'm simply too busy and too tired. Suffice to say I was completely dumbfounded. It's so over the top, I'm left nearly speechless. Nearly.

:wink:
Dumbfounded is the right word, PHG. The "Cubune Sour Grapes" thread on What's The Score has a theme of stupified outrage. The only conceivable reason for them to run that hatchet job is because the Sox are high-profile champions. As has been said before, the Tribune has a wide reach. If the World's Greatest Newspaper clears its throat, other papers/stations assume that there's a story they should pick up. This is part of the Tribune's ongoing narrative that paints the Sox and their fans as boors and thugs, and by implication and shading paints the Cubs and their fans as the Folks You'd Like To Know.

Thanks again George, and to the other mods as well, for keeping up this board. I said it before, and I believe even more now, that we're doing a genuine public service here by calling out the Tribune on its institutional hypocrisy.

A. Cavatica
10-03-2005, 08:47 PM
Sox, Boston Duel Before Nearly Packed House

kevin57
10-03-2005, 08:54 PM
[QUOTE=PaleHoseGeorge]Well, sometimes the Cubune even out-does all of us. I mean, did any of us seriously think pot smoking would ever be the neighborhood crime the Cubune highlights on page 1 the day before the Sox start the playoffs? Un-****ing believable...


I agree. Total B.S. :angry: :bs:

PaleHoseGeorge
10-03-2005, 09:13 PM
Well, it turns out I did have something to say on the main page. The better to preserve the story for posterity. The Cubune's hypocrisy is highlighted for everyone (including all the national media) visiting WSI for months to come.

I must say, it works much better than writing a letter to the editor.
:cool:

TommyJohn
10-03-2005, 09:20 PM
White Sox fans high on team's success
"Aw, dude. They're like, totally awesome." says devoted Sox fan Craig Cannibis

cheeses_h_rice
10-03-2005, 09:22 PM
Well, it turns out I did have something to say on the main page. The better to preserve the story for posterity. The Cubune's hypocrisy is highlighted for everyone (including all the national media) visiting WSI for months to come.

I must say, it works much better than writing a letter to the editor.
:cool:

PHG, a couple of comments/corrections:

1. You're off by 2 days in your dates. Today's the 3rd, the playoffs begin on the 4th.

2. The gist of the Cubune article was not the pot smoking in the housing project next to the park. It was a multi-faceted rebuke of the White Sox organization for taking away jobs from the locals when the new park was constructed, for possibly helping to create the poverty in the area, for not doing enough to help the neighborhood, and for serving as a beacon for greedy white development at the expense of the quality of life of the residents directly surrounding the park. In other words, a complete hatchet job designed solely to paint the White Sox organization in a negative light on the eve of their first playoff appearance in 5 years. It went way behind describing petty crime surrounding the park.

TommyJohn
10-03-2005, 09:25 PM
Munchie outbreak at Cell
Vendors, concession stands report brisk mid-game sales of Doritos, Ding Dongs

PaleHoseGeorge
10-03-2005, 09:28 PM
PHG, a couple of comments/corrections:

1. You're off by 2 days in your dates. Today's the 3rd, the playoffs begin on the 4th.

2. The gist of the Cubune article was not the pot smoking in the housing project next to the park. It was a multi-faceted rebuke of the White Sox organization for taking away jobs from the locals when the new park was constructed, for possibly helping to create the poverty in the area, for not doing enough to help the neighborhood, and for serving as a beacon for greedy white development at the expense of the quality of life of the residents directly surrounding the park. In other words, a complete hatchet job designed solely to paint the White Sox organization in a negative light on the eve of their first playoff appearance in 5 years. It went way behind describing petty crime surrounding the park.

1. The dates have been fixed. Clearly I'm under too much stress these days.
:wink:

2. I have the newspaper and read the article. I don't need to point out all the absurdities of a page 1 feature like this. Only the MOST absurd. I think pot smoking qualifies. It was mentioned, was it not?

:cool:

Ol' No. 2
10-03-2005, 09:31 PM
1. The dates have been fixed. Clearly I'm under too much stress these days.
:wink:

2. I have the newspaper and read the article. I don't need to point out all the absurdities of a page 1 feature like this. Only the MOST absurd. I think pot smoking qualifies. It was mentioned, was it not?

:cool:I thought the Trib article was very informative. I had NO IDEA there were poor people in that area. Thank heavens for the Trib's civic-minded concern over their plight.

MRKARNO
10-03-2005, 09:42 PM
Ozzie Guillen appears in Socialist Propaganda TV Show
Call in to evil dictator Hugo Chavez's TV show constitutes treason; see editorial page for our apology demand

MarySwiss
10-03-2005, 09:46 PM
Well, it turns out I did have something to say on the main page. The better to preserve the story for posterity. The Cubune's hypocrisy is highlighted for everyone (including all the national media) visiting WSI for months to come.

I must say, it works much better than writing a letter to the editor.
:cool:

PHG, of course it works better than a letter to the editor! A letter to the editor would never have been printed.

And if anything, I would say you erred on the side of restraint! That POS article was unbelievable--or it would have been, if we hadn't been talking about the Cubune.

You would think the Cubs' own personal corporate rag would have at least PRETENDED to be impartial. But "impartial" is apparenty not in the Cubune editorial staff's lexicon.

I, for my part, am seriously PISSED OFF! And I will work up a support piece which I will submit to the Arizona Republic. It probably won't get printed, but you never know. Worth a try, anyway.

Hitmen77
10-03-2005, 10:36 PM
I thought the Trib article was very informative. I had NO IDEA there were poor people in that area. Thank heavens for the Trib's civic-minded concern over their plight.

:tealpolice:

Hitmen77
10-03-2005, 10:43 PM
I wonder what the Tribune will come up with next in terms of a Sox hatchet job. After all, the Sox season may not end until Oct. 30. Maybe we'll see this next:

U.S. Taxpayer Field
- This just in: much-maglined ballmall was built with taxpayer dollars.
- A look back at Sox near-move to Tampa.
- $120 million to build a ballpark while South Side neighbors go without basic necessities.
- Find out how Cubs give to the community while Sox take away from community.

cheeses_h_rice
10-03-2005, 10:53 PM
CRISIS IN DARFUR WORSENS
White Sox Organization Continues to Do Nothing to Stop Horrific Attacks by Janjaweed
Meanwhile, Wealthy White South Siders Stuff Their Faces with Churros and Miller High Life at U.S. Cellular Field. Tribune Expose on front and back pages.

chidonez
10-04-2005, 12:12 AM
CRISIS IN DARFUR WORSENS
White Sox Organization Continues to Do Nothing to Stop Horrific Attacks by Janjaweed
Meanwhile, Wealthy White South Siders Stuff Their Faces with Churros and Miller High Life at U.S. Cellular Field. Tribune Expose on front and back pages.


Oh man, how cynical... How funny...

elrod
10-04-2005, 01:02 AM
Ozzie Guillen appears in Socialist Propaganda TV Show
Call in to evil dictator Hugo Chavez's TV show constitutes treason; see editorial page for our apology demand


I wouldn't put that past Colonel McCormick's rag for one minute.

chisoxfan64
10-04-2005, 05:22 AM
White Sox issued warnings: Frank Thomas hits Big Poppi throwing out first pitch.

GoSox2K3
10-04-2005, 08:48 AM
Breaking News: Poor people live near the Cell
Reefer madness only steps from Sox dugout!

Munchie outbreak at Cell
Vendors, concession stands report brisk mid-game sales of Doritos, Ding Dongs

These were hilarious!:rolling:

eriqjaffe
10-04-2005, 08:53 AM
REPORT: SMOKE THAT LINGERS OVER CELL AFTER SOX HOME RUNS NOT CAUSED BY FIREWORKS

mark2olson
10-04-2005, 09:02 AM
Cubs Announce Disenfranchised Day
All Seats Will Be Free to Poor in Wrigleyville
Dusty: "Give us your tired, your poor, your huddled masses"
Statue of Liberty to be Moved to Wrigley
Lee receives Nobel Peace Prize

37,000 Riot at Sox Park
"Dude, like there was no bean dip" Rioters exclaim

TommyJohn
10-04-2005, 08:15 PM
I don't really want to post this now, but this is the thread for it:

Who wants to wager that there WILL be a Tribune story on how the 1984
Cubs hit 5 home runs and won game 1 13-0?

russ99
10-04-2005, 08:42 PM
Who wants to wager that there WILL be a Tribune story on how the 1984 Cubs hit 5 home runs and won game 1 13-0?

Yeah, but that's why I was hoping for that fourteenth run.

Got it ! :D:

No triskaidekaphobia here, that's a northside thing.

WinOrDyeTrying
10-04-2005, 08:44 PM
WHITE SOX RUB SUCCESS INTO POOR SOUTH SIDE NEIGHBORS.

Ol' No. 2
10-04-2005, 08:55 PM
I don't really want to post this now, but this is the thread for it:

Who wants to wager that there WILL be a Tribune story on how the 1984
Cubs hit 5 home runs and won game 1 13-0?I think it's a sure thing there will be a comparison with the 11-0 drubbing the Sox put on the Dodgers in 1959 - only to lose the series.

VA_GoGoSox
10-04-2005, 09:07 PM
Dempster "Unhittable" In Simulated Relief!!!

Classles Sox Manager Runs Up Score On America's Second Favorite Team.

Ozzie Leaves in Podsednik to pad Stats.

Hitmen77
10-04-2005, 09:31 PM
Sox Make Mockery of Small Ball. Drubbing of Red Cubs Reveals Ozzie and Kenny as Frauds.

- 1959, 1983 Redux? Sox won first games of those series only to go on to lose.
- Sox win, but Cubs and Red Sox have better attendance.
- BoSox Players, Fans Endure Sterile Ballmall, Dangerous Neighborhood.

pg 3: Sox fan William Ligue receives parking ticket

santo=dorf
10-05-2005, 02:20 AM
SOX BLOWN AWAY BY LOCAL WINDY CITY TEAM
Stoned Southsiders Bore Rare Sellout Crowd.
More Yankees-Red Sox coverage inside.

elrod
10-05-2005, 02:37 AM
Chicago Shows Love for Former Cub Clement
Sox treat him rudely.

Stroker Ace
10-05-2005, 02:43 AM
INSANE EVERETT ASSAULTS CLEMENT WITH LINE DRIVE

SOXPHILE
10-05-2005, 10:45 AM
Bears Game Countdown- 4 Days

O.K., We'll Cover Them For You- Sox Win Playoff Game
(There, Happy ? Stop Complaining)

Inside: Eric Zorn was in a skybox for Tuesdays game, compliments of the Tribune. Join our guy as he tells you about his day
-Skybox food only "o.k.", but Sox staff could use a lesson in how to prepare a proper latte'.

-The leather couches seemed like "they'd been used before me".

-T.V's were all tuned into the game on the field, no way to watch "Friends" and "Dawson's Creek" reruns on WGN. ("Why would I have the game on T.V. when the game is going on right outside ?")

-People in general. Nobody knew how to get out a latte' stain from sweater vest. "Plus, all the noise and cheering from the classless Sox fans and clueless staff took away from the overall enjoyment of the day. I found myself closing my eyes and wishing I was sitting at Wrigley".

D. TODD
10-05-2005, 11:19 AM
I can not believe todays Sun Times headline. "IT'S ABOUT TIME". I would of thought the Trib might use this negative lead. Well, maybe they did as I don't contribute to the Tribune by buying their paper. So maybe they will go with First win for Sox in 46 years!

VenturaFan23
10-05-2005, 11:42 AM
REPORT: SMOKE THAT LINGERS OVER CELL AFTER SOX HOME RUNS NOT CAUSED BY FIREWORKS


That's priceless! :roflmao:

ajtokarz
10-05-2005, 07:50 PM
ESPN PRAISED FOR UNBIASED, PROFESSIONAL BROADCASTS!


Berman, Piazza & Suttcliff best booth in Baseball!

ode to veeck
10-05-2005, 08:35 PM
FORMER 'BLACK SOX' TONY G THROWS PLAYOFF GAME FOR BOSOX
SOX GET LUCKY WITH AA DROP OUT AND OLD JAPANESE ROOKIE

peeonwrigley
10-05-2005, 08:56 PM
Chicago Black Sox 2005
Former White Sox Player Throws Game 2

Norberto7
10-05-2005, 09:24 PM
WHITE SOX DO THEIR JOB!

NEIGHBORS WISH THEY HAD JOBS TO DO, BLAME SOX.

MiamiSpartan
10-05-2005, 09:32 PM
Mark Prior has hemmoroids.

:tongue:
(on page 4) Sox win 2nd in a row....

Chisox003
10-05-2005, 09:36 PM
SOX BLOWN AWAY BY LOCAL WINDY CITY TEAM
Stoned Southsiders Bore Rare Sellout Crowd.

:roflmao: Now that's awesome

Harrelson leaves team
-Announcer's departure from postseason Chicago A.L. team has some questioning involvement with Florida Columbian marijuana ring, desire

No-isy problem?
-Bridgeport residents complain Verizon Cellular Field too loud, can't hear police sirens while dealing narcotics to helpless 5 year old children

ode to veeck
10-05-2005, 09:36 PM
-Skybox food only "o.k.", but Sox staff could use a lesson in how to prepare a proper latte'.

LMAO!

Mr. White Sox
10-05-2005, 09:39 PM
Sox Win on Error, Undeserved
Downey: MLB Needs Probe as old White Sox help former team

SoxSpeed22
10-05-2005, 09:41 PM
Bypass
DOOM!
White Sox venture into dangerous Fenway to try and beat Red Sox with the best home record.

antitwins13
10-05-2005, 10:54 PM
Red Sox Prepare to make History as the First Team to Come All the Way Back in a Playoff Series Two Years in a Row.

WikdChiSoxFan
10-05-2005, 10:59 PM
CUBS AVOID LOSS!!!
northsiders gain bragging rights over four other teams in the majors
oh, and sox pay off tony graffanino to botch double play ball

WikdChiSoxFan
10-05-2005, 11:39 PM
or perhaps....

SOX GAME TELEVISED!!!
local man craps pants upon discovery of new mlb team
oh, the red sox lose to mystery team in rare fluke
local media predicts obvious outcome: red sox in 3

Chips
10-05-2005, 11:41 PM
BLACKHAWKS LOSE OPENER.
A baseball game was played in the ghetto, but our reporters were too scared to go, and nobody cares anyways, so we're not going to mention it.

Cat Thief
10-05-2005, 11:42 PM
WHITE SOX RUB SUCCESS INTO POOR SOUTH SIDE NEIGHBORS.

*****

Cat Thief
10-05-2005, 11:49 PM
Police called to the Redwood Lounge last night. Unemployed Sox fans out of control!







Not sure what was going on there tonight but when I left the Post, I saw a squad out there.

mark2olson
10-06-2005, 08:07 AM
WOOD ON COMEBACK TRAIL!
Best Rotation in Baseball coming back Together, Page 2
Uses Throwing Arm to Pour his own Coffee, Pullout Section
"He'll be striking out 30 per game on opening day!" Doctors proclaim

DUSTY DREAMS BIG
Now to Manage by Second Sight, Page 3
Foresees Three World Series Wins for Cubs, Bonus Coverage
Madame Fountanbleu, Famous Tarot Card Reader, to Replace Rothschild as Pitching Coach


SOX SCORE THREE UNEARNED

Hitmen77
10-06-2005, 08:15 AM
September: Sox will blow division lead just like '69 Cubs.


October: Sox will blow 2-0 series lead just like '84 Cubs.

eriqjaffe
10-06-2005, 08:44 AM
WELLS FINALLY DOES SOMETHING GOOD FOR WHITE SOX
RED SOX PITCHER SEEN IN CLUBHOUSE CARRYING KNIFE AND FORK, ASKING FOR WHEREABOUTS OF GRAFFANINO.

Dan Mega
10-06-2005, 08:53 AM
Neighbors of U.S. Cellular complain about crowd noise
Residents around Wrigley say Cubs fans are "quiet and respectful" to them and their property.

Sox fan spotted at local Aldi's
Sox fan and probably convicted criminal seen purchasing bag of plastic spoons most likely to be used to cook crack

FielderJones
10-06-2005, 09:27 AM
Somber Red Sox
Confident they can come back

Oops, that's for real (http://chicagosports.chicagotribune.com/sports/baseball/whitesox/cs-051005soxsidevandyck,1,5620413.story).

HebrewHammer
10-06-2005, 09:46 AM
Bulls Season Just Around The Corner

Defending Champs Leave Town: Red Sox Victory Guaranteed Says Santo
Chicago Team wins game, no one notices

24thStFan
10-06-2005, 10:05 AM
Series Moves to Venerable Fenway
Similarities to "Friendly Confines" Astounding
Side-by-Side Comparison of Greatest Baseball Shrines, p. 2

White Sox to Play In Front of "Real" Fans for First Time in ALDS

whitesoxwin
10-06-2005, 10:29 AM
Boston Down But Not Out

As Series moves to Fenway

Mighty Red Sox Down by two games, "The Comeback Kids" confident of East Coast Sweep of Surging Chicago's Sox.

White Sox win 5-4 to take 2-0 lead in series

Paul Konerko: "I felt bad for (the Red Sox)them" as Paulie plans to visit Rhode Island family Friday morning with extra tickets for venerable Fenway Park.

Ronnie Woo-Woo plans a Boston humanitarian trip to visit homeless shelters and will be at Friday's game at Fenway Park

VenturaFan23
10-06-2005, 10:45 AM
Not a Cubune column, but a Marriotti one:


OZZIE'S REACTION OF IGUCHI'S HOME RUN CLASSLESS

maurice
10-06-2005, 12:29 PM
ESPN PRAISED FOR UNBIASED, PROFESSIONAL BROADCASTS!
Unfortunately, this was an actual Trib article (http://chicagosports.chicagotribune.com/sports/columnists/cs-051005greenstein,1,4069343.column?coll=cs-home-utility) by mediot Teddy Greenstein.
He admits that Berman was a total homer re. the Graffy error but ignores the numerous other examples of bias, including:
- Every Boston grounder was "drilled," even when it bounced twice before reaching the fielder.
- Repeated claims that some mysterious mystic force was holding sure Boston HRs in the park.
- Failure to acknowledge that the Cell is a big-time HR hitter's park and that the Sox had no problem hitting HRs.
- Repeated statements indicating that Wells = Cy Young and not the average pitcher he is.
- The Boston reliever with like 16 MLB games = Mariano Rivera
- Nixon's long foul was "unforuntately foul, (sigh)."
- Numerous other examples posted at WSI.

maurice
10-06-2005, 12:44 PM
Red-handed White Sox Steal Game 2
Red Sox Trail Best-Of-Five Series 0-2
Former White Sox Starter Hangs Curve, Loses Game
Costly Error By former White Sox 2B
Red Sox Hate Scumbag Carl Everett For Really, Realy Good Reasons
McGrath: 7-Game Win Streak Imaginary; Sox Choked Weeks Ago, Remember?

Petch
10-06-2005, 01:01 PM
CUBS WIN! CUBS WIN!
THE CUBS DEFEATED THE CHICAGO POLICE DEPT. IN WHAT IS SURE TO GO DOWN AS THE GREATEST SOFTBALL GAME OF ALL TIME.
WHITE SOX ALSO PLAYED...SEE PG. 19

ajtokarz
10-06-2005, 01:04 PM
SOX FANS LEARN HOW TO USE COMPUTERS!


DIEHARD SOX FANS SPEND VALUABLE TIME THAT SHOULD OF BEEN USED SEARCHING FOR JOBS TO HOPELESSLY TRY FOR ALCS TICKETS, AS GAMES SELL OUT IN RECORD TIME!

-Tickets available at all Wrigley Field Ticket Brokers. North side address, bank statement, and proof of employment required to purchase.
-Ticket proceeds will go directly to the greatest manager in baseball today, and quite possibly ever.....Dusty Baker.

eriqjaffe
10-06-2005, 01:38 PM
PODSEDNIK HOMERLESS STREAK AT ONE
SOX FANS WORRY, "HOW LONG WILL THIS POWER OUTAGE LAST?"

JAPANESE IMPORT GENE HONDA WINS GAME WITH HOMER THAT WAS CARRIED OUT OF PARK ON CLOUDS OF MARIJUANA SMOKE

Hitmen77
10-06-2005, 02:13 PM
ALCS Tickets Not Sold Out Yet*
- What's the matter with Sox fans? What does this team have to do to sellout lifeless ballpark?
- Cub fans: It's pathetic that the Sox weren't able to sell out any playoff games.




* story last updated 12:05 PM CDT 10/6/05

GoSox2K3
10-06-2005, 11:05 PM
Fire Clinches Playoff Berth!

City Goes Wild as Soccer Team Reaches Playoff for 1st Time Since 2003
- "Rally Friday" scheduled for block 37 tomorrow.
- Fire draw 11,000 fans to clincher - more than attended Sox game on April 15. WHY CAN'T SOX OUTDRAW SOCCER?

MrRoboto83
10-06-2005, 11:32 PM
ALCS Tickets Not Sold Out Yet*
- What's the matter with Sox fans? What does this team have to do to sellout lifeless ballpark?
- Cub fans: It's pathetic that the Sox weren't able to sell out any playoff games.




* story last updated 12:05 PM CDT 10/6/05


Excellent

bruce1
10-07-2005, 12:41 AM
Fearless Freddy Frustrates the Red Sox...Using his new submarine knuckle ball!

The Floundering Boys of Fenway Also Blame Minnie Minoso for distracting the players while he juggled Flamming baseballs in the box seats behind home plate while wearing a Teddy Kennedy mask!

Sox Win 7-3

Go Sox!

(Lets see you beat that one!) hehe

Stroker Ace
10-07-2005, 01:15 AM
NLCS TICKETS UNAVAILABLE

Tickets for games 1&2 at Wrigley Not avialable through ticketmaster's fair service.

Banix12
10-07-2005, 01:31 AM
WHITE SOX WIN IN FENWAY!!
White Sox still in trouble.. Boston has come back from 3-0 deficits before.

Turn to page three for history lesson about how the Braves lost in the playoffs 12 of last 13 years and what the White Sox can learn from it.

Banix12
10-07-2005, 01:47 AM
October: Sox will blow 2-0 series lead just like '84 Cubs.

Wow, 24 hours before it hits stands you called it Hitmen77. In today's trib...

Trib article: "Lesson for Sox: 1984 Cubs Flop" (http://chicagosports.chicagotribune.com/sports/baseball/whitesox/cs-051006soxfeech,1,5251224.story?page=2&coll=cs-home-headlines)

gbergman
10-07-2005, 05:36 AM
Firework Smoke Above the "Jail Cell" proves Sox promote Drug use.
Cubs Win! Cubs Win! Cubs win 13th pick in this years draft. Why this pick will make the Cubs 2006 world series champ. PG.2

bigdommer
10-07-2005, 06:53 AM
Stupid ball
White Sox seen practicing useless sacrifice bunts on off day at Wrigley East
Statisitics show that bunts and steals worthless at bandbox Fenway


Paul Sullivan: Head to Head, Fenway vs. Wrigley
Our expert compares the the two best places on Earth
Analysis: Keep the current 30 teams, just have them play all of their games at Wrigley and Wrigley East


"We've been here before"
Red Sox confident after last year's historic comeback
The Trib agrees: Red Sox in 5 (we would say 3 or 4 if it was possible)

ode to veeck
10-07-2005, 08:30 AM
WHITE SOX WIN IN FENWAY!!
White Sox still in trouble.. Boston has come back from 3-0 deficits before.


now that's funny ...

SOXPHILE
10-07-2005, 10:01 AM
Failure in Fenway
White Sox fail to clinch spot in ALCS on Thursday, will attempt to stave off elimination on Friday

CUBS CUBS CUBS !
Extensive Tribune/WGN/Chicago Magazine Pole rates Cubs as favorite team/organization in history of mankind

In Metro: Our guy, Eric Zorn, talks with our gal, Mary Schmitt about the merits of his lawsuit against White Sox organization over the latte' stain that ruined his sweater vest. Accidental spill caused by loud, roudy Sox fans "cheering" their team during Tuesday's game; "The noise was so loud, I could even hear it in the skybox"

PaleHoseGeorge
10-07-2005, 10:03 AM
WHITE SOX WIN IN FENWAY!!
White Sox still in trouble.. Boston has come back from 3-0 deficits before.

Turn to page three for history lesson about how the Braves lost in the playoffs 12 of last 13 years and what the White Sox can learn from it.


That's the WINNING stuff! Congratulations. You get the Double-McGrath Trophy for nailing the Cubune on their ineptness as well as doom-and-gloom take on practically anything Sox-related.

:thumbsup: :thumbsup:

:cubune

:cubune

Hangar18
10-07-2005, 10:31 AM
Bears Lose
yes, we know they lost but lets talk more bears

Sox look to stave off elimination in Boston

Cell empty again
Hours before game, park and area noticably empty
Pales in comparison to hoopla in Wrigleyville in 03

Famous Fans? Not on South Side!
Not a single famous fan has made it to the Cell
Proves everyone loves the Cubs

Sox Fever?
Downtown businesses report downturn.
"people just arent feeling it like in 03"

Cubs announce 06 Playoff Tickets on Sale Saturday noon
Police expect huge crowds, closing of Sheffield and Addison streets
Parking bans go into effect Friday nite
Wild throngs expected, businesses to rebound
Special Cubs 06 Playoff march pullout section this Sunday!

Hitmen77
10-07-2005, 11:07 AM
:tomatoaward X Twelve!

tebman
10-07-2005, 07:00 PM
SOX WIN ALDS

"You happy now?" - Ann Marie Lipinski

Chips
10-07-2005, 07:01 PM
Don't worry, Sox will choke in ALCS.
Read why pages 1-99

buehrle4cy05
10-07-2005, 07:04 PM
Konerko's big game solidifies the fact that he will not return next year
Pages 2-9: Why the 2005 ALCS will be exactly like the 2003 NLCS.
Page 10: Out Loud with Steve Bartman, who has bought tickets to game 6 of the ALCS.

Chips
10-07-2005, 07:38 PM
178 DAYS UNTIL OPENING DAY: ZAMBRANO TO START

The Racehorse
10-07-2005, 07:47 PM
WHITE SOX WIN IN FENWAY!!
White Sox still in trouble.. Boston has come back from 3-0 deficits before.

Turn to page three for history lesson about how the Braves lost in the playoffs 12 of last 13 years and what the White Sox can learn from it.


LOL!

:gulp:

JorgeFabregas
10-07-2005, 07:49 PM
An article comparing them to the 2003 Cubs is inevitable.

Banix12
10-07-2005, 08:21 PM
An article comparing them to the 2003 Cubs is inevitable.

Yeah, I hear they tracked down a sox fan named Bart Steveman who has tickets to ALCS game 6. Tribune: COULD IT HAPPEN AGAIN???

elrod
10-07-2005, 08:30 PM
Cue Bartmanski!

CJLove23
10-07-2005, 08:41 PM
NEVER have I laughed so hard as I do reading these threads!!!!!

:threadrules:

zach23
10-07-2005, 08:51 PM
Choke Hold Part Deux(que)
Sox barely avoid game 3 collapse and place in history with '84 Cubs.

Vernam
10-07-2005, 09:17 PM
Poor People Still Live in General Vicinity of U.S. Insular Field
Sox victory in ALDS does nothing to fix social inequity; So-called "champions" turn blind eye to suffering neighbors

CallMeNuts
10-07-2005, 09:57 PM
Nobody shows up for 5th game of ALDS at US Cellular!

CJLove23
10-07-2005, 10:20 PM
Nobody shows up for 5th game of ALDS at US Cellular!

:rolling::rolling:

TommyJohn
10-07-2005, 10:24 PM
SOX SWEPT!
No miracle comeback this year as Chicago takes series in three

CJLove23
10-07-2005, 10:27 PM
White Sox Win!
-Mariotti and Berman to do commentary for AL League Championship series, a great, unbias choice!

TommyJohn
10-07-2005, 10:30 PM
2003 Cubs: A Look Back

Ah, the hell with it! Just lose already, Damn You!!!

mccoydp
10-07-2005, 10:34 PM
With Sweep, White Sox Ruin America's Baseball Postseason!
Chris Berman: "How could they crush the hopes and dreams of all of these Bostonians? How could they? The Red Sox personify the American Dream!"

MeteorsSox4367
10-07-2005, 10:45 PM
Can Bosox rebound from 3-0 deficit in five-game ALDS?


Eight-page Wolves preview section - Who will replace Kari Lehtonen?



Chicago's got WNBA fever!

Chicago (AL) wins game; still hate the poor.

SoxFan64
10-07-2005, 11:04 PM
Pot Smoke crosses Madison Ave
Wrigley Field Deemed Safe
From Falling Concrete


Come See Our New Bleacher Seats

1951Campbell
10-07-2005, 11:39 PM
Mariotti & Greg Couch Hang Selves In Saugus Motel Room Suicide Pact

Shaunessy Seeks Copyright Clearance for Picture of Graffy's Error for Cover of Next Book

Pot Smoke from Projects Surrounding USCF Influence Home Plate Ump Into Calling Damon Out on Check Swing 950 Miles Away

"Manny Being Manny"

George Knue Explains Why Sox Fans Ask for Poor Media Coverage, Just Like a Garden Variety Whore

ESPN Files Grieveance, Claiming MLB Rules Prohibit Teams West of the Hudson River from Winning a Playoff Series

Prompted by ALDS Loss, Provincial Bostonians Finally Locate Chicago on a Map

MrRoboto83
10-07-2005, 11:56 PM
Manny wants to be a Cub


after Boston's historical visit to chicago over the summer, Manny was in awe over the beauty of the wrigley field.

SOX LA Mikey
10-08-2005, 01:41 AM
Trib Sez:

1906 World Series Never Happened,
therefore the Cubs never lost it to Chicago AL



"No Sox ever has hit a home run in the postseason that held any more significance.

Konerko's two-run shot helped win the franchise's second postseason series in its history, and only one Sox player hit a home run in the 1917 World Series—Happy Felsch in Game 1."

StillMissOzzie
10-08-2005, 01:49 AM
US Cellular Field EmptyUntil 1st ALCS game October 11


SMO
:bandance: :bandance: :bandance:

dropkick371
10-08-2005, 01:56 AM
Some other team claiming to be from Chicago does something.

Cubs fans baffled at concept of winning games.

zmz723
10-08-2005, 08:35 AM
White Sox Hate America!

Sweep "America's Team" Millions of fans left Heartbroken!

Realist
10-08-2005, 09:10 AM
Holy smokes are these posts ever sublime. If someone isn't emailing a link to these threads to the Cubune's popcorn bag licking editorial staff on a daily basis, they're missing out on some golden ballbreaking opportunities.

One of the main reasons all these posts are so damn funny is because they hit so damn close to the truth.

Hey, Cubune... are you ashamed of yourselves yet? No? Didn't think so. Moron journalists.

downstairs
10-08-2005, 09:10 AM
Hindsdale Central Girls Volleyball Clinches Title!


Boys' HS Football scores inside.

- BASEBALL -
CHI (AL) on rare 3-game winning streak.

TommyJohn
10-08-2005, 09:22 AM
Tribune toasts to Soxcess with America's most famous White Sox fan, William Ligue

We tracked down born loser to find out how he is celebrating playoff victory

Coming Tuesday: Guest column by Ligue. William analyzes the pitching and hitting matchups and who he would like to beat the crap out of

kevin57
10-08-2005, 11:11 AM
Wakefield Exposes The Dirty Truth
Sox Success Based On Luck
Pitcher Now Expects Repraisal by William Ligue

SOXintheBURGH
10-08-2005, 11:14 AM
Holy smokes are these posts ever sublime. If someone isn't emailing a link to these threads to the Cubune's popcorn bag licking editorial staff on a daily basis, they're missing out on some golden ballbreaking opportunities.

One of the main reasons all these posts are so damn funny is because they hit so damn close to the truth.

Hey, Cubune... are you ashamed of yourselves yet? No? Didn't think so. Moron journalists.

LOL....

Yellow journalists.:gulp:

You have to be confident that Knue is reading these every day and either taking notes or sulking.

WikdChiSoxFan
10-08-2005, 11:30 AM
EXPLETIVE DELETED!!!

Petch
10-08-2005, 12:16 PM
****!

PacNWSoxFan
10-08-2005, 02:15 PM
Tribune toasts to Soxcess with America's most famous White Sox fan, William Ligue

We tracked down born loser to find out how he is celebrating playoff victory

Coming Tuesday: Guest column by Ligue. William analyzes the pitching and hitting matchups and who he would like to beat the crap out of

Freakin HILARIOUS!!! Great work!!!

Chips
10-08-2005, 02:43 PM
THE BASEBALL SEASON ENDED OCTOBER 2ND, WHY ARE THEY STILL PLAYING?

Chisox003
10-08-2005, 03:19 PM
2004 Champion Red Sox Want Chicago A.L. First Basemen
-Loud mouth turned humble, charitable Konerko leaves ALCS bound team to meet with Red Sox representives, says deal could be complete by next week
-Changing of the Sox: Complete coverage of who else wants to leave Chicago A.L. for the East Coast giant, class act Boston organization

Tribune's own George Knue up for Pulitzer Prize
-Award committee loves work of Chicago Tribune, sports section
-Particularly noted: Coverage of (or lack there of) Chicago's other baseball team; constant bashing of trouble making, drug addict fans, and their ghetto neighborhood that destroys image of the Second city

whitesoxwin
10-08-2005, 03:29 PM
Sox Swept
Southsiders shaky in rare win of playoff series, advance to ALCS

Cub fans weep for their adopted American League brothers

"How can the White Sox do this to America's Second Favorite Team?" exclaims a visibly irate fan at Murphy's Bleachers

Illinois Governor demands investigation of public funds being used to wine and dine Chicago officials in Boston

"Hey, the Governor missed the flight!" a visibly intoxicated highly placed City official exclaimed (with other officials trying to downplay an early excurrsion to Boston).

Again, White Sox prove how they despise poor people by refusing to allow Ronnie Woo Woo on team charter back to Chicago, but Tribune Company comes to his aid and bought him a ticket home

"Ronnie was there to root for the Sox. How can the White Sox organization be so non-compassionate to one of Chicago's very own.
He's an icon to may of Chicago's less fortunate. Not only that...he's just wanted to do what he could for the Southsiders." exclaimed an angry Tribune Company spokesperson.

FOX SPORTS requests meeting with MLB to discuss potential loss of revenue for upcoming ALCS series

santo=dorf
10-08-2005, 04:04 PM
Manny wants to play in Chicago!
Could he be reunited with former teammate Johnny Damon at the Friendly Confines?

Zambrano's great golf outing: points to sky after birdie on 16th hole.

TheArmyOfNeems
10-08-2005, 04:08 PM
YES!
pg 3

EL YES!
pg 6

CONTR-YES!
pg 8

GAR-YES!
pg 9

Chips
10-08-2005, 04:09 PM
SWEEP SUCCESS

I couldn't believe this was actually on the front page.

Chisox003
10-08-2005, 04:10 PM
Zambrano's great golf outing: points to sky after birdie on 16th hole.
I like it!

You could've taken it several directions (Injured elbow, 2 year old temper, etc.), but this nailed it ... :roflmao:

This thread, along with the "sunny sky" clinching threads, is the best thing going on WSI right now ... I've been seeing a whole lot of this guy lately:

:threadrules:

TornLabrum
10-08-2005, 05:59 PM
From the Sunday Tribune:

Chicago (AL) fails to win game 4
Lovable Red Sox still have a chance

Hitmen77
10-08-2005, 06:08 PM
Sox Sweep BoSox - Advance to ALCS!
- Cub Fans Response: Attendance, attendance, attendance! Sox only draw about 1,000 per game - believe it Chicago! cry loyal Cub fans. (First time in pro-sports history that fans care more about attendance than winning)

- Cub Nation feels pain of Red Sox Nation. It's a damn shame that teams with no character are allowed to defeat storied franchises, bemoan Cub fans.

- Weather Advisory: Frost Warning Threatens Beloved Wrigley Ivy.

WinOrDyeTrying
10-08-2005, 06:13 PM
Shoeless Joe Smites Wrong Sox
-How illiterate ghost of Shoeless Joe Jackson confused Soxes

Hitmen77
10-08-2005, 06:16 PM
Jackass Berman Over-the-Top for Red Sox in Network Telecast
- ESPN's Anti-White Sox Bias Reaches New Low as Fans Subjected to Idiot Announcer "Mourning" Sox Victory.
- Berman Goes Nuts Over Every Red Sox Hit
- Paulie HR, El Duque 6th inning Shutdown, Suicide Squeeze All Evoke Somber Reaction by Network Boob.

Hey, we're the Cubune, but even we agree that ESPN's coverage of Sox Playoff Games Totally Sucked.

Chips
10-08-2005, 07:43 PM
Shoeless Joe smites wrong Sox
-How illiterate ghost of Shoeless Joe confused Soxes

:rolling:

The Racehorse
10-08-2005, 07:52 PM
PER ESPN - SOX LOSE!