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View Full Version : Yes, BP is full of it - but this is hilarious!


Flight #24
09-09-2005, 02:42 PM
Taken from their Cubs overview posted today, in which they review super-UT Jose Macias: http://www.baseballprospectus.com/article.php?articleid=4424




So how does Macias continue to have a job? Here are some theories:

He seems to know the other Cubs' names.
Macias has, on several occasions, gone back in time to save the world from disaster.
On one of those occasions, he brought Neifi Perez (http://www.baseballprospectus.com/dt/perezne01.shtml) with him, on a mission to whisper something in W. Mark Felt's ear while he slept.
Macias has been instrumental in the development and distribution of "Dusty Baker's Devitalizing Wrinkle-Producing Balm!" which is handed out to all Cubs players between the ages of 24 and 30. This lightly melon-scented balm gradually increases the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles throughout the season, until Dusty Baker has no choice but to play you since you look like a veteran. Everyone thinks Macias aged two years because of AgeGate, but it's the balm, people. The balm.
Cubs fans better hope that Hendry has learned not to spend actual cash money on replacement-level talent, because when Jose Macias is the answer, you've asked the wrong question.

http://z.about.com/d/animatedtv/1/0/w/9/homer_small.jpg
"It's funny 'cause it's true"

SOXintheBURGH
09-09-2005, 02:53 PM
That's pretty hilarious. What a joke of a franchise.

SouthSide_HitMen
09-09-2005, 03:50 PM
Yes but then they showed their true colors in another article by cub fan Will Carroll:


Sammy Sosa (http://www.baseballprospectus.com/dt/sosasa01.shtml) may have played his last game in Baltimore and, just maybe, his last in the U.S. Multiple sources believe that Sosa will head to Japan next season for a retirement-fund contract and a chance to hit as many home runs as Tuffy Rhodes, his former Cub teammate, did. Sosa's toe is making progress, according to team sources, but Sosa was told that he would not be getting playing time in front of Walter Young (http://www.baseballprospectus.com/pecota/YOUNG19800218A.php) and Jay Gibbons (http://www.baseballprospectus.com/dt/gibboja01.shtml), so it was decided that it would be best for him to leave the team for now. Sosa plans a return, perhaps a victory lap/tip o' the cap type appearance to show that he's no Rafael Palmeiro (http://www.baseballprospectus.com/dt/palmera01.shtml). Say what you will about Sammy, he's always been good for baseball.

__________________________________________________ ________________

Well if you forget about the steroids, the corked bats, his congressional testimony, the $500,000 in charity / tax avoidence fraud his "foundation" engaged in and his wife beating exploits.

SOXintheBURGH
09-09-2005, 04:06 PM
Yes but then they showed their true colors in another article by cub fan Will Carroll:


Sammy Sosa (http://www.baseballprospectus.com/dt/sosasa01.shtml) may have played his last game in Baltimore and, just maybe, his last in the U.S. Multiple sources believe that Sosa will head to Japan next season for a retirement-fund contract and a chance to hit as many home runs as Tuffy Rhodes, his former Cub teammate, did. Sosa's toe is making progress, according to team sources, but Sosa was told that he would not be getting playing time in front of Walter Young (http://www.baseballprospectus.com/pecota/YOUNG19800218A.php) and Jay Gibbons (http://www.baseballprospectus.com/dt/gibboja01.shtml), so it was decided that it would be best for him to leave the team for now. Sosa plans a return, perhaps a victory lap/tip o' the cap type appearance to show that he's no Rafael Palmeiro (http://www.baseballprospectus.com/dt/palmera01.shtml). Say what you will about Sammy, he's always been good for baseball.

__________________________________________________ ________________

Well if you forget about the steroids, the corked bats, his congressional testimony, the $500,000 in charity / tax avoidence fraud his "foundation" engaged in and his wife beating exploits.

Did he apologiiii yet for ditching his team?

SouthSide_HitMen
09-09-2005, 04:08 PM
Did he apologize for ditching his team?

Which instance? There are many

Cubs - Road trip in Atlanta
Cubs - Final game 2004
Orioles - July "week off"
Orioles - September

peeonwrigley
09-11-2005, 03:19 AM
Which instance? There are many

Cubs - Road trip in Atlanta
Cubs - Final game 2004
Orioles - 2005


I went ahead and edited that for you.

LaHerdiaGrande35
09-11-2005, 09:11 AM
Sammy Sosa (http://www.baseballprospectus.com/dt/sosasa01.shtml) may have played his last game in Baltimore and, just maybe, his last in the U.S. Multiple sources believe that Sosa will head to Japan next season for a retirement-fund contract and a chance to hit as many home runs as Tuffy Rhodes, his former Cub teammate, did. Sosa's toe is making progress, according to team sources, but Sosa was told that he would not be getting playing time in front of Walter Young (http://www.baseballprospectus.com/pecota/YOUNG19800218A.php) and Jay Gibbons (http://www.baseballprospectus.com/dt/gibboja01.shtml), so it was decided that it would be best for him to leave the team for now. Sosa plans a return, perhaps a victory lap/tip o' the cap type appearance to show that he's no Rafael Palmeiro (http://www.baseballprospectus.com/dt/palmera01.shtml). Say what you will about Sammy, he's always been good for baseball.
I completely agree with that last sentance. (If steroids, a completely pathetic attitude, and cork are good for the game of baseball.)