PDA

View Full Version : Alternatives to Palmeiro


jehosaphat
08-12-2005, 04:39 PM
With all the talk about getting Palmeiro, I want to point out some clearly superior alternatives:




Hire the Tonya Harding Gang to bust the kneecaps of opposing players
Put Ex-Lax in opposing teams water supply
Arm Raines and Cora with pea shooters pelt opposing fielders when the ball is hit their way
Install a retractable outfield wall at the Cell when our guys are at bat, the wall moves in 5 to 6 feet beyond the infield; when opposing team is at bat, the wall returns to its original position
Make a sweet deal with the Cubs. Sit down with Hendry, buy him a few beers. Get him to agree that the important thing is to bring a championship to Chicago, then get him to give us the Cubs roster in exchange for Charlotte, uh no, let say Birmingham (they couldn't do any worse than his current roster). Then, promise him well return the players in time for the start of Spring training next year. Return everyone but D. Lee.

buehrle4cy05
08-12-2005, 04:44 PM
With all the talk about getting Palmeiro, I want to point out some clearly superior alternatives:





Install a retractable outfield wall at the Cell when our guys are at bat, the wall moves in 5 to 6 feet beyond the infield; when opposing team is at bat, the wall returns to its original position


Bill Veeck already tried something like that. When a team would come in with a lot of lefty power, he would move a fence on a wire over towards right field to "raise" the wall. When a team with right power would come in, he would move the fence to left field. Of course, MLB made a rule against it soon thereafter.

GAsoxfan
08-12-2005, 04:44 PM
And Ramirez.

PAPChiSox729
08-12-2005, 04:45 PM
With all the talk about getting Palmeiro, I want to point out some clearly superior alternatives:



Hire the Tonya Harding Gang to bust the kneecaps of opposing players
Put Ex-Lax in opposing teams water supply
Arm Raines and Cora with pea shooters pelt opposing fielders when the ball is hit their way
Install a retractable outfield wall at the Cell when our guys are at bat, the wall moves in 5 to 6 feet beyond the infield; when opposing team is at bat, the wall returns to its original position
Make a sweet deal with the Cubs. Sit down with Hendry, buy him a few beers. Get him to agree that the important thing is to bring a championship to Chicago, then get him to give us the Cubs roster in exchange for Charlotte, uh no, let say Birmingham (they couldn't do any worse than his current roster). Then, promise him well return the players in time for the start of Spring training next year. Return everyone but D. Lee.


:?:

MRKARNO
08-12-2005, 04:48 PM
:shammy

"Chicago has been berry berry good to me. I would love to come back to the White Sox."

Gremlin3
08-12-2005, 06:07 PM
:rolling:
:shammy

"Chicago has been berry berry good to me. I would love to come back to the White Sox."

Chips
08-12-2005, 06:37 PM
Bill Veeck already tried something like that. When a team would come in with a lot of lefty power, he would move a fence on a wire over towards right field to "raise" the wall. When a team with right power would come in, he would move the fence to left field. Of course, MLB made a rule against it soon thereafter.

I thought he did that for two or so plus weeks. What a character.