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Maximo
05-14-2005, 11:15 AM
Just killing a little time before I spend the rest of the day and night tending bar and putting my "best foot forward". Hope the 'mods' don't mind.

The WSI Gazette Saturday, May, 14, 2005

Sox Cling to Precarious 6 Game Lead; Streaking Cubs Move to Within 5.5

Those 'fortunate' White Sox won another inexplicable ballgame by defeating the injury depleted Orioles last night 5-3. Mark Buerhle was tagged for 3 runs on 5 hits and was "all over the place" with his placement as he issued one walk through 8 innings. "I just don't know what's wrong with him", retorted Sox skipper, Ozzie Guillen, through a translator.

Dustin Hermanson got the save and extended his scoreless inning streak to 18 and a third, which according to the experts at "Baseball Tonight", is the most "meaningless" statistic in all of sports.

Scott Posednik started the 7th inning rally with a line drive to the outfield which must have hit a sprinkler head causing it to bounce into the stands for a ground rule double. Otherwise, he more than likely would have remained at first and would probably have been caught stealing. The rapidly aging Posednik is not the same player he was one week ago when he stole 4 bases against the Blue Jays.

It should be noted that O's slugger, Sammy Sosa, is on the DL. Calls to Orioles
manager, Lee Mazzilli, as to why Brooks and Frank Robinson, Boog Powell, and Cal Ripken were not in the line-up were not returned.

Meanwhile the Twins lost a heart breaker in extra innings to the Texas Rangers, but still looked awesome doing it. After the game, Torjii Hunter reminded fans for the 20th time, "not to worry".

That loud sound the Cardinals are hearing from the rear is the engine from the Cubs locomotive as the Northsiders closed to within 5 and a half games of first place. Aramis Ramirez hit another majestic home run, while Glendon Rusch looked spectacular allowing 2 runs on 6 hits while walking only two in 5 innings.

Hall of Fame bound, Derek Lee, went 0-4, but contributed his 8th stolen base
which now puts him in 2,457,394th place on the all time list. ( courtesy "Baseball Tonight").

This day in Sox history.........1971......Dick Allen goes 0-3 and was seen smoking a cigarette while getting into his car.

This day in Cubs history.......2003.....Darrin Baker gets his 100th "Hot Wheels" car from 'papa' Dusty.

Ol' No. 2
05-14-2005, 11:51 AM
Just killing a little time before I spend the rest of the day and night tending bar and putting my "best foot forward". Hope the 'mods' don't mind.

The WSI Gazette Saturday, May, 14, 2005

Sox Cling to Precarious 6 Game Lead; Streaking Cubs Move to Within 5.5

Those 'fortunate' White Sox won another inexplicable ballgame by defeating the injury depleted Orioles last night 5-3. Mark Buerhle was tagged for 3 runs on 5 hits and was "all over the place" with his placement as he issued one walk through 8 innings. "I just don't know what's wrong with him", retorted Sox skipper, Ozzie Guillen, through a translator.

Dustin Hermanson got the save and extended his scoreless inning streak to 18 and a third, which according to the experts at "Baseball Tonight", is the most "meaningless" statistic in all of sports.

Scott Posednik started the 7th inning rally with a line drive to the outfield which must have hit a sprinkler head causing it to bounce into the stands for a ground rule double. Otherwise, he more than likely would have remained at first and would probably have been caught stealing. The rapidly aging Posednik is not the same player he was one week ago when he stole 4 bases against the Blue Jays.

It should be noted that O's slugger, Sammy Sosa, is on the DL. Calls to Orioles
manager, Lee Mazzilli, as to why Brooks and Frank Robinson, Boog Powell, and Cal Ripken were not in the line-up were not returned.

Meanwhile the Twins lost a heart breaker in extra innings to the Texas Rangers, but still looked awesome doing it. After the game, Torjii Hunter reminded fans for the 20th time, "not to worry".

That loud sound the Cardinals are hearing from the rear is the engine from the Cubs locomotive as the Northsiders closed to within 5 and a half games of first place. Aramis Ramirez hit another majestic home run, while Glendon Rusch looked spectacular allowing 2 runs on 6 hits while walking only two in 5 innings.

Hall of Fame bound, Derek Lee, went 0-4, but contributed his 8th stolen base
which now puts him in 2,457,394th place on the all time list. ( courtesy "Baseball Tonight").

This day in Sox history.........1971......Dick Allen goes 0-3 and was seen smoking a cigarette while getting into his car.

This day in Cubs history.......2003.....Darrin Baker gets his 100th "Hot Wheels" car from 'papa' Dusty.What, no attendance figures?:redneck

Fredsox
05-14-2005, 01:10 PM
A fabulous piece, well done. I'd love to see a cub fan read it.

C-Dawg
05-14-2005, 04:02 PM
What, no attendance figures?:redneck

Heh heh, yeah probably should mention that there were tumbleweeds blowing through nearly empty, lifeless US Cellular Field.