View Full Version : Funny KC article at "The Brushback"

05-12-2005, 03:26 PM
Good stuff. (http://www.thebrushback.com/royalsstress_full.htm)

Allard Baird: We certainly don’t have the option of being arrogant winners, so we’re going to be humble losers. It’s a big monkey off my back, that’s for sure. I mean, I wasn’t really trying to put together a winner anyway, but now at least I can be open about it.”

There's also a great article on the homepage featuring Kellen Winslow "blasting the hospital staff" for a lack of intensity. This site is hilarious.

“Come on, I wanna see some focus! I wanna see some fire!” Winslow shouted to a hospital intern who had arrived to empty his bedpan. “You've been dragging your ass since the day I got in here, and things are going to change! Turn it up a notch!”

05-12-2005, 03:50 PM
From the Bonds story:

“Hey, I would never use these things myself because I don’t do steroids,” he said. “I just wanted to offer some help to players who do steroids and need something to cover it up. These new masking agents are inexpensive, easy to use, and perfectly safe. I just sold a truckload to Sammy Sosa yesterday. Today, he was back for another truckload. I heard when the doctors took his urine test, they couldn’t even find the urine.”

“Stop selling them? Why? I’m doing something perfectly legal,” he said. “Just because I’m selling masking agents doesn’t mean I take them myself, although I must say that my most expensive masking agent ‘The Eliminator’ does do a great job of masking THG. In fact, I’m loaded up on THG right now and if someone took my urine they wouldn’t suspect a damn thing. Oh ****. I bet someone’s going to take that quote out of context now and use it to portray me as some kind of steroid abuser, right? You guys have no shame at all.”

:roflmao: :roflmao:

Ol' No. 2
05-12-2005, 04:12 PM
I've never seen this site. It's kind of like The Onion for sports.
Steinbrenner Hit With $75 Luxury Tax During Monopoly Game

NEW YORK--Yankees owner George Steinbrenner was furious yesterday after being hit with a $75 luxury tax during a game of Monopoly. It was the second time in a month that Steinbrenner was forced to pay such a tax, the first being the $30,637,531 he handed to major league baseball in April. While the latest payment is considerably less, Steinbrenner was frustrated over his bad luck.
“Again? Another goddamn luxury tax?” Steinbrenner exclaimed after his thimble landed on the luxury tax space on the Monopoly board. “This is the second goddamn time in a month. I can’t keep shelling out all this money. It’s especially unfair because I just got 10 bucks for winning second prize in a beauty contest. There goes that money.”

Rocky Soprano
05-12-2005, 04:22 PM

:kneeslap: :roflmao:

“I don’t know where SI is getting their information,” said ESPN baseball analyst Peter Gammons. “Anyone who reads the papers or watches Sportscenter knows that Major League Baseball consists of two teams: the Boston Red Sox and New York Yankees. This kind of irresponsible reporting is giving sports journalism a bad name.”


05-12-2005, 04:49 PM
Now there is some funny stuff, and I got a new sig!!

NBA Playoffs May Be Interrupted By Next Ice Age

PHOENIX--According to sources in the commissioner’s office, league officials are concerned that the NBA playoffs may be interrupted by the next ice age. An NBA postseason normally lasts around 8 million years and coincidentally, the next ice age is expected to occur in 8 million years.