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munchman33
04-20-2005, 09:03 PM
From the ESPN game recap: (http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/recap?gameId=250420106)

Instead of playing his former team for the first time, Magglio Ordonez was traveling back to Detroit from Montreal after seeing a hernia specialist, who could not conclude that Ordonez has a hernia.


"It's very puzzling," Tigers president Dave Dombrowski said.

I bet it is...

NSSoxFan
04-20-2005, 09:08 PM
At this point, the Tigers should donate Magglio to science.:cool:

DaveIsHere
04-20-2005, 09:12 PM
At this point, the Tigers should donate Magglio to science.:cool:

That is the most Hilarious post I have ever read!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SOX ADDICT '73
04-20-2005, 09:12 PM
:maggs

"Did I say hernia? I meant hemorrhoid, and it's a BIG one..."

:borass:

"Hey, Maggs, get away from me with that tube of Preparation H!"

Malgar 12
04-20-2005, 09:43 PM
"Instead of playing his former team for the first time, Magglio Ordonez was traveling back to Detroit from Montreal after seeing a hernia specialist, who could not conclude that Ordonez has a hernia.

"It's very puzzling," Tigers president Dave Dombrowski said.

Ordonez will visit another hernia specialist Monday in Philadelphia. He is 0-for-10 in three games after signing a $75 million, five-year contract. Dombrowski said he could not estimate when Ordonez would return."

Puzzling indeed! I'm not an MD but I was under the impression that hernia's were relatively easy to diagnose. That is of course assuming they're not located in the knee joint. The foolish Tigers have got to be fuming...

doublem23
04-20-2005, 09:44 PM
I really wish they would have just invested the $75 million into making Little Ceasar's pizza better.

PaleHoseGeorge
04-20-2005, 09:45 PM
I really wish they would have just invested the $75 million into making Little Ceasar's pizza better.

$75 million would have gone a long way towards fixing up downtown Detroit, too.

:wink:

Malgar 12
04-20-2005, 09:49 PM
$75 million would have gone a long way towards fixing up downtown Detroit, too.

:wink:

They've got the casinos to take care of that!

ilsox7
04-20-2005, 09:53 PM
At least he can add Canada to his list of countries that he has visited a doctor in.

Ol' No. 2
04-20-2005, 09:56 PM
The last guy to spend the season suffering from a "mystery illness" was Jason Giambi. You don't suppose...

FarWestChicago
04-20-2005, 10:10 PM
They've got the casinos to take care of that!Not teal!!

:tealpolice:

:tealtutor:

JoseCanseco6969
04-20-2005, 10:10 PM
They've got the casinos to take care of that!

:tealpolice:
DAMN, beat me to it!

FarWestChicago
04-20-2005, 10:12 PM
:tealpolice:
DAMN, beat me to it!What the hell, two is better than none. :thumbsup:

Frankfan4life
04-20-2005, 10:29 PM
At least he can add Canada to his list of countries that he has visited a doctor in.Then perhaps a trip to Indonesia for experimental hernia surgery.

slavko
04-20-2005, 10:30 PM
I get it. He's trying to tell the Tigers in a subtle way. What's the middle syllable of hernia?

Malgar 12
04-20-2005, 10:46 PM
Not teal!!

:tealpolice:

:tealtutor:


I apologize profusely!

Norberto7
04-20-2005, 10:52 PM
I get it. He's trying to tell the Tigers in a subtle way. What's the middle syllable of hernia?

I'm picking up what you're putting down. So, maybe the next illness is severe acne? Held out of games for insomnia? Bone mass loss due to menipause?

Damn, pushed it too far with that last one.

SOX ADDICT '73
04-20-2005, 11:04 PM
I'm picking up what you're putting down. So, maybe the next illness is severe acne? Held out of games for insomnia? Bone mass loss due to menipause?

Damn, pushed it too far with that last one.
Yeah, and then he'll say it's a meniscus tear in his...oh, wait...

FarWestChicago
04-20-2005, 11:09 PM
I apologize profusely! Well done. :cool:

voodoochile
04-20-2005, 11:12 PM
I get it. He's trying to tell the Tigers in a subtle way. What's the middle syllable of hernia?

*****!

POTW (http://www.whitesoxinteractive.com/rwas/index.php?category=13&id=2795)

SOXPHILE
04-20-2005, 11:16 PM
Yeah, and then he'll say it's a meniscus tear in his...oh, wait...

I think he may have even injured his cornea.

"Calling Doctor Howard, Doctor Fein, Doctor Howard"

NSSoxFan
04-20-2005, 11:18 PM
Check out this gem from a Tiggers message board.

I am going out on a limb and say he has mono. It does seem like he has had symptoms of it. He was taken out of a game earlier because of dizziness and headaches, he's had a viral infection, today he said physically he feels fine but he can't really run and feels tired. I am not even close to a doctor but I have known people with characteristics like that and it turned out they had mono. Another possibility is Vertigo.

Yea......that must be it. :rolleyes:

Mickster
04-20-2005, 11:31 PM
http://groups.haas.berkeley.edu/mecca/LongDuckDong.jpg

"Maggrio has a probrem with his hyena"

Stealth
04-20-2005, 11:44 PM
This is too funny. The Tigers are the laughing stock of baseball for giving him that ridiculous contract.

:maggs (http://www.whitesoxinteractive.com/vbulletin/misc.php?do=getsmilies&wysiwyg=1&forumid=15#)
"Do they have a hernia specialist in Vienna? I'll go there".

SOX ADDICT '73
04-20-2005, 11:48 PM
I am going out on a limb and say he has mono.
Now we just wait and see which other Tigers come down with it, and we'll know who Magglio's been kissing in the clubhouse.:hug:

Nellie_Fox
04-20-2005, 11:51 PM
I apologize profusely! Be careful, young grasshopper. Don't allow it to appear that you are being sarcastic in your apology to FWC!

jkrohn
04-21-2005, 12:09 AM
I know this will be a HUGE suprise, but found it quite interesting ;) From the sox recap of today's game.

Instead of playing his former team for the first time, Ordonez traveled back to Detroit from Montreal after seeing a hernia specialist, who could not conclude that Ordonez has a hernia.

He probably didn't mention the hernia is in his knee.

kittle42
04-21-2005, 12:09 AM
My Cub fan friend implied that this is all 'roid related in a conversation this evening.

popilius
04-21-2005, 01:02 AM
I'm picking up what you're putting down. So, maybe the next illness is severe acne? Held out of games for insomnia? Bone mass loss due to menipause?

Damn, pushed it too far with that last one.

:drool: HA! Always love a good pun!

doublem23
04-21-2005, 01:38 AM
My Cub fan friend implied that this is all 'roid related in a conversation this evening.

He's probably right. I'm sure his knee problems are totally unrelated to colliding with Willie Harris in Cleveland, and we all know you can't get infections or hernias unless you're on the juice.

TDog
04-21-2005, 01:40 AM
This is too funny. The Tigers are the laughing stock of baseball for giving him that ridiculous contract.

:maggs (http://www.whitesoxinteractive.com/vbulletin/misc.php?do=getsmilies&wysiwyg=1&forumid=15#)
"Do they have a hernia specialist in Vienna? I'll go there".

It's odd that some of the same people laughing at the Tigers for signing Ordonez are saying the Sox won't be able to compete because they didn't re-sign Ordonez.

The Critic
04-21-2005, 07:47 AM
Now we just wait and see which other Tigers come down with it, and we'll know who Magglio's been kissing in the clubhouse.:hug:

Can Scott Boras' ass catch mono????
:D:

gosox41
04-21-2005, 08:28 AM
"Instead of playing his former team for the first time, Magglio Ordonez was traveling back to Detroit from Montreal after seeing a hernia specialist, who could not conclude that Ordonez has a hernia.

"It's very puzzling," Tigers president Dave Dombrowski said.

Ordonez will visit another hernia specialist Monday in Philadelphia. He is 0-for-10 in three games after signing a $75 million, five-year contract. Dombrowski said he could not estimate when Ordonez would return."

Puzzling indeed! I'm not an MD but I was under the impression that hernia's were relatively easy to diagnose. That is of course assuming they're not located in the knee joint. The foolish Tigers have got to be fuming...


I don't think it's as puzzing as many think it to be. If the doctors aren't going to look any lower to see if there's a hernia of the knee, then they should take a different approach in diagnosing him. Or they can just ask Magglio what's rally hurting him:


:maggs
Owwwwww, my ovaries.



Bob

Frater Perdurabo
04-21-2005, 08:50 AM
What the hell, two is better than none. :thumbsup:

This was a two alarm teal call? It's often good to call in backup... :cool:

TomC727
04-21-2005, 09:28 AM
Puzzling indeed! I'm not an MD but I was under the impression that hernia's were relatively easy to diagnose. That is of course assuming they're not located in the knee joint. The foolish Tigers have got to be fuming...

You are correct. As a med student, hernias are not that difficult to diagnose.

mjharrison72
04-21-2005, 09:38 AM
You are correct. As a med student, hernias are not that difficult to diagnose.
I was joking yesterday that he herniated himself because of the gut-wrenching pain from his knee, but in all seriousness, it could very well be the case that Maggs' knee hurts so bad and he knows it's going to void his contract to go to the DL with it or have to have it operated on that he's literally fabricating this hernia thing.

Not trying to be Captain Obvious here or anything, but what recourse do the Tigers have if this "mysterious" problem remains undiagnosable, or if he keeps fabricating other maladies to cover up knee problems? Can they force him to allow his knee to be examined? Could this contract go to court if they refuse to pay him because he can't play because he's on the DL with a hernia they can't find or operate on because it may or may not exist?

Flight #24
04-21-2005, 09:43 AM
Not trying to be Captain Obvious here or anything, but what recourse do the Tigers have if this "mysterious" problem remains undiagnosable, or if he keeps fabricating other maladies to cover up knee problems? Can they force him to allow his knee to be examined? Could this contract go to court if they refuse to pay him because he can't play because he's on the DL with a hernia they can't find or operate on because it may or may not exist?

Ask KW about how easy it is to get medical information or exams on Maggs if he & Borass don't want you to know what's going on. Unless they have some fairly specific clauses about this in the contract, it'll likely be VERY hard. Even if Maggs does have deterioration in his knee, if he says it doesn't hurt and he can play on it, how can they put him on the DL for the knee?

:maggs
"Sure I can run on it......but that darned hernia/hammy/ankle/liver/spleen makes me limp!"


:borass:
"Now please send the check to......"

duke of dorwood
04-21-2005, 09:47 AM
:borass:

I'm not a doctor, I just play one in a Baseball reality series

soxtalker
04-21-2005, 10:41 AM
IIRC, the Tigers can void the contract if Maggs spends a specified amount of time -- maybe 25% of a season (?) -- on the disabled list. I don't think that this depends on the ailment, although the knee is much more serious than hernia.

mdep524
04-21-2005, 10:44 AM
IIRC, the Tigers can void the contract if Maggs spends a specified amount of time -- maybe 25% of a season (?) -- on the disabled list. I don't think that this depends on the ailment, although the knee is much more serious than hernia. Actually, I'm fairly certain it does depend on the ailment, thus the great conspiracy by Borass and Maggs.

Nellie_Fox
04-21-2005, 11:04 AM
Everything I've read says they can void the contract if he spends 25 days or more on the DL as a result of the knee. Now, obviously, I haven't read the contract, but I would be shocked if Boras would allow a contract that could be voided because of a new and unrelated injury or illness.

voodoochile
04-21-2005, 11:30 AM
Everything I've read says they can void the contract if he spends 25 days or more on the DL as a result of the knee. Now, obviously, I haven't read the contract, but I would be shocked if Boras would allow a contract that could be voided because of a new and unrelated injury or illness.

Right, so it will come down to Maggs proving he's got a henia and so far the experts can't find one.

Lip Man 1
04-21-2005, 11:43 AM
There is a recently revealed second clause in his deal that states the contract is also voided if he is on the DL at the end of the season. I'm assuming that means for any reason.

Lip

PaleHoseGeorge
04-21-2005, 11:57 AM
There is a recently revealed second clause in his deal that states the contract is also voided if he is on the DL at the end of the season. I'm assuming that means for any reason.

Based upon the traveling ailments/excuses Maggs has reported the last 6 weeks there isn't a chance in hell Magglio shows up for work hurt to finish this season.

Hell, the ****ing bone would have to be sticking out through his bleeding flesh before this guy would say he's not ready to play.

:maggs
"It's just a flesh wound! I can DH... my Austrian doctor says so and my French-Canadian hernia specialist agrees, not to mention my dizziness is gone! I'm ready!"

:borass:
"You heard him. Now pay the man!"

voodoochile
04-21-2005, 12:03 PM
There is a recently revealed second clause in his deal that states the contract is also voided if he is on the DL at the end of the season. I'm assuming that means for any reason.

Lip

:maggs
"Is it Mid-September already? Where does the time go? It's been spring training for the last 7 months or so. I better go take some cuts so I can get a few at bats and give the Tiger fans their money's worth. I am sure they will be thrilled to see me play a bit. No RF for me, that hernia is still giving me problems. I will DH for the first AB and then you send in a PR if I happen... *chuckles*... happen to get... *guffaws*... happen to reach base... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! wooo... that kills me... Now pay me my money... Next year, I am not even going to ST, it would mess with my tanning time and I have to start early or the scar on my knee glows white until April..."

SOXSINCE'70
04-21-2005, 02:07 PM
The last guy to spend the season suffering from a "mystery illness" was Jason Giambi. You don't suppose...


From what I hear,suspicions are running high.No evidence yet,
but the "S" word has been hinted at.:whistle: :whistle:

Flight #24
04-21-2005, 02:28 PM
From what I hear,suspicions are running high.No evidence yet,
but the "S" word has been hinted at.:whistle: :whistle:

In Maggs "defense", I believe the s-word being hinted at here is "Scum-sucking, lying scumbag", not steroids.

Niagara
04-21-2005, 02:31 PM
So far, the Motown sports board has mentioned Mags having a hernia, mono, steroids and knee problems as the mystery illness.

Also looks like the ending the season on the DL as a cause to void the contract is incorrect.

cheeses_h_rice
04-21-2005, 03:07 PM
I think a new fun game to past the time has been invented for baseball fans worldwide: Where in the World Is Magglio's Next Injury?

Let's see, he's had 1) dizziness, 2) a virus, and now 3) a hernia. For a guy that spent almost no time injured in his long tenure with the White Sox, call me a cynical li'l bastard, but this just doesn't pass the smell test.

:borass:

Hey, idiots, 15% of $0 is $0! Think, McFly!

Ol' No. 2
04-21-2005, 03:25 PM
Everything I've read says they can void the contract if he spends 25 days or more on the DL as a result of the knee. Now, obviously, I haven't read the contract, but I would be shocked if Boras would allow a contract that could be voided because of a new and unrelated injury or illness.At the same time, do you think it's possible the Tigers could be so dumb as to not have some protection in the contract for themselves? There must be some means by which they can demand to have their own examination and void the contract if they can't. If not, Dombrowski gets the Idiot of the Century award.

Niagara
04-21-2005, 03:32 PM
Het, Cheeses, Mags has been in Detroit for a while and not gotten shot yet, so I bet that's next.

Nellie_Fox
04-21-2005, 03:42 PM
At the same time, do you think it's possible the Tigers could be so dumb as to not have some protection in the contract for themselves? There must be some means by which they can demand to have their own examination and void the contract if they can't.Oh, I'd be shocked beyond description if they don't. What's the point of the clause if all you can go by is the word of the other party? I'm certain they have examination rights.

cheeses_h_rice
04-21-2005, 03:59 PM
The whole thing reminds me of the Seinfeld episode where George pretended to have an elbow spasm after getting caught nudging Jerry in the side with his elbow in front of Lloyd Braun, and he went to the trouble of even visiting Mayor Dinkins's doctor to be examined.

"Magglio, I'm sorry to say, I can't find anything wrong with you. Nothing at all. If I didn't know better, I'd swear that you were just trying to cover up for your knee injury by even coming to me with this preposterous hernia story."

\

Lip Man 1
04-21-2005, 04:06 PM
One point of clarification. It wasn't Dombrowski. He had reservations and voiced them. The owner over ruled him and later admitted it was a risk but a risk that he was going to keep taking because 'the Tigers haven't had a winnning season in nine years.'

Lip

itsnotrequired
04-21-2005, 04:08 PM
The whole thing reminds me of the Seinfeld episode where George pretended to have an elbow spasm after getting caught nudging Jerry in the side with his elbow in front of Lloyd Braun, and he went to the trouble of even visiting Mayor Dinkins's doctor to be examined.

"Magglio, I'm sorry to say, I can't find anything wrong with you. Nothing at all. If I didn't know better, I'd swear that you were just trying to cover up for your knee injury by even coming to me with this preposterous hernia story."

\

Mags: "Faking? What makes you think that I have time to see doctors, take X-rays, make appointments, when there's absolutely nothing wrong with me? What kind of a person would do a thing like that?"

Doc: "I don't know what kind of a person would do something like that. Obviously a very sick person. A very immature person. A person who has no regard for wasting other people's valuable time. Good-bye!"

cheeses_h_rice
04-21-2005, 04:17 PM
Mags: "Faking? What makes you think that I have time to see doctors, take X-rays, make appointments, when there's absolutely nothing wrong with me? What kind of a person would do a thing like that?"

Doc: "I don't know what kind of a person would do something like that. Obviously a very sick person. A very immature person. A person who has no regard for wasting other people's valuable time. Good-bye!"

"Helllllo, Magglio."
\

slavko
04-21-2005, 04:49 PM
I'm thinking. Dizziness, virus, weight loss, immobilizing groin pain. Let's hope this isn't something too serious to be a laughing matter. Which it is now.

SOXSINCE'70
04-21-2005, 05:32 PM
From theESPN game recap: (http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/recap?gameId=250420106)



I bet it is...



Try looking at his bad knee.:roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao:

This is beginning to sound like a plot line on those old episodes
of "Marcus Welby,M.D." that I spent much of the 70's watching.
To summarize:

Patients get sick,go to Welby(or his assistant Steve Kiley) for
a diagnosis,patients do the exact OPPOSITE of what Welby
and Kiley tell them to do,patients relapse,go into hospital
for treatment (and cure),everyone goes home happy.

Life would be much simpler if storylines on "Marcus Welby"
or its CBS equivelent "Medical Center" could actually happen.:D:

havelj
04-21-2005, 10:57 PM
It very well could be much more serious like colon or stomach cancer if the prior illnesses he's had this srping are true.

NonetheLoaiza
04-22-2005, 03:50 AM
Am I the only one who loves the title of this thread?

RedHeadPaleHoser
04-22-2005, 08:11 AM
[QUOTE=cheeses_h_rice]I think a new fun game to past the time has been invented for baseball fans worldwide: Where in the World Is Magglio's Next Injury?

Who wants to create the Magglio Ordonez Operation Game? We can diagnose all over the whole body - if your tweezers touch the side, the contract is voided.

:bandance:

Flight #24
04-22-2005, 09:37 AM
Another great quote on Maggs:



On Monday, Im going to go to Philadelphia to see another specialist (for) hernias, Ordonez said. But the doctor in Montreal said it was not a hernia. It was probably a pelvis, but who knows?



What kind of doctor can't diagnose a hernia from a pelvis injury?

Hey Maggs - you want to know who knows?

:borass:

"All I know is ain't no one getting anywhere near that knee without dropping off a gigantic check first."

Flight #24
04-22-2005, 09:43 AM
Another choiuce one from Motownsports:http://www.motownsports.com/forums/showthread.php?threadid=26774&perpage=40&pagenumber=2


As it turns out, the real answer to the mystery is that Magglio is pregnant.

:redneck

tebman
04-22-2005, 09:53 AM
Who wants to create the Magglio Ordonez Operation Game? We can diagnose all over the whole body - if your tweezers touch the side, the contract is voided.

:bandance:

:rolling:
Great idea! They can sell those games at Grandstand! :tongue:

wdelaney72
04-22-2005, 12:45 PM
[QUOTE=cheeses_h_rice]I think a new fun game to past the time has been invented for baseball fans worldwide: Where in the World Is Magglio's Next Injury?

Who wants to create the Magglio Ordonez Operation Game? We can diagnose all over the whole body - if your tweezers touch the side, the contract is voided.

:bandance:

Not that I get a vote, but that's the post of the week!

tstrike2000
04-22-2005, 02:35 PM
My first thought is, how many specialists can one person see for a knee and a hernia? Next thing we hear is that Maggs is out with a head cold and had to travel to Calcutta, India to visit with a Hindu witch doctor specializing in a new herb therapy not yet approved in the U.S.

PaleHoseGeorge
04-22-2005, 02:51 PM
There's lots of speculation around WSI today about what is really going on with Magglio and Boras, and Ozzie and the Sox. Here's my theory:

Maggs is getting embarrassed. Earlier this week he flies back from Montreal with news that the hernia specialist can't find a hernia. He is greeted at Comerica Park by Chicago media members and gets even more nervous. Given all the B.S. he has already been quoted over in his feud with the Sox, he knows the missing hernia news will play big back in Chicago.

What does poor nervous Magglio do? Lash out at the Sox again, of course.

I'll give him credit for this much. Ozzie's tirade almost pushes Magglio's missing hernia out of the news. It certainly worked in today's Cubune but naturally their editors have their own unbiased agenda. "How dare Ozzie stick up for Mark Buehrle! We'll get him back in spades!!!"

Yep, the missing hernia story almost disappeared.

Almost... but not here. Now Magglio is going to Philly to see another hernia specialist. Sooner or later somebody has to find *something* wrong with Magglio, right?
:roflmao:

Magglio's behavior is beginning to resemble that of a drug addict searching for another Dr. Feelgood.
:cool:

:maggs
"I'll make an appointment with you on one condition: no examining my knee!"

Flight #24
04-22-2005, 03:28 PM
What are the odds that Bora$$ has fitted Maggs with his very own "chastity belt" around his knee, and thrown away the key?