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SOXPHILE
04-08-2005, 10:49 PM
A Hypothetical Converstion between Latroy Hawkins & Shingo Takatsu

Latroy Hawkins: "Hey, Shingo, what the hell do you think your doing ?"

Shingo Takatsu: "I'm not sure what you mean,"

Latroy: "What I mean is, your performance yesterday. What's up with that blown save ? What do you think your doing ?"

Shingo: "I don't understand. Yes, I came in with a 3 run lead, and I did 'blow the save' as you say in this country, if that's what you mean. Not a good performance on my part, but my teamates and I have to put that behind us and move on. We have a big series with the Twins this weekend, and I hope I'm given the oppurtunity to redeem myself, and I'm able to contribute to some wins up there in Minnesota."

Latroy: "See, there you go again ! First of all, I'm the one that's supposed to blow saves in this town. But, more important, what do you think you're doing taking responsibility for your own performance ? You need to learn to do what I do. Blame others whenever you fail."

Shingo: "What ?"

Latroy: "You heard me. Don't ever accept responsability or take any blame when you come in and pitch badly, blow a save, or lose a game. You need to re-focus that elsewhere. Blame the umps mostly, 'cuz they hold grudges against you, from, like, 3 years ago. Next time you find yourself in that situation, start jumping up and down and yelling at the umpire. Make like your going to go over and fight him so your coaching staff has to come out and restrain you. It's ALWAYS the umps fault. Don't forget that ! Afterwords, blame the media too. Then, call a press conference to tell the media that your not talking to them or anyone else anymore. Are you listening to me ? I'm trying to talk to you 'like a man', just like I do with the umps."

Shingo: "Umm, thanks, but I think I'll just concentrate on being the best pitcher I can and helping my teamates win. If I screw up again, I'll take responsability for my performance too. Nice talking to you."

Latroy: "Aww man, you just don't get it, do you ? You watch us today. I'll show you how blowing a save is done. Like I told you earlier, there's only room in this town for one guy to blow saves. Since you won't listen to me, from now on, whenever I blow a save this year, I'm gonna blame you too."