View Full Version : ESPN Page 2 looks at 2005

03-31-2005, 07:47 PM

One week into the season and they mention the White Sox :rolleyes:

Despite being only six games into the season, White Sox players announce they already hate new catcher A.J. Pierzynski.


With Jose Contreras and Orlando Hernandez already in their rotation, the White Sox sign Hideki Irabu and Brien Taylor to contracts.


Hoping that trading Nomar Garciaparra is the key to breaking a long World Series title drought, the Cubs ship him to the White Sox, who will hope to be able to trade him in 2006.

03-31-2005, 08:08 PM
I've got an idea - I think I'll register as YankeeStadium on Motownsports and tell them how Page 2 predicts by May, Ivan Rodriguez will be getting knocked over trying to catch fastballs because his weight will be down to 145! That would be hi-lar-i-ous!!!

03-31-2005, 09:16 PM
July 2nd, Super-agent Scott Boras tells his clients he will be unavailable for a few days so he can move his office from the fourth to the sixth circle of hell.


03-31-2005, 09:29 PM
Wow! There are a lot of funny ones in there. That is hilarious!

03-31-2005, 09:34 PM
:roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao:

These are really good.

Asked before a game by a Spanish-speaking reporter if he's ever taken steroids, Orioles slugger Sammy Sosa pretends as though he doesn't speak Spanish.

Saying he has to prepare for his career after baseball, 38-year-old Giants outfielder Moises Alou announces he will be releasing a line of skin care products.

Mark McGwire fails to turn in his taxes on time, telling his accountant he wants to focus on the future, not the past.

The Cubs announce they will install an MRI machine in their dugout at Wrigley Field so they can examine Mark Prior and Kerry Wood between innings.
Definitely worth a read. :D:

03-31-2005, 10:26 PM
August 23: Bartolo Colon and Sidney Ponson face off as starters in an Angels-Orioles match-up and agree to leave a five-foot party sub behind the mound throughout the game so each can feast on it between pitches.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA:rolling::roflmao::rolling::rofl mao::bandance:

03-31-2005, 10:29 PM
Fans report seeing chunks of concrete falling from Wrigley Field's upper deck, but inspectors uncover nothing unusual beyond a pronounced odor of urine, stale beer, and vomit emanating from the stadium.


03-31-2005, 10:38 PM
Page 2 has quickly become the only reason to really go to espn.com

Flight #24
03-31-2005, 10:47 PM
"It's funny 'cause it's true".....

Red Sox advisor Bill James announces he has yet to figure out a formula or develop a theorem explaining why he couldn't get a girlfriend in high school


Moises Alou's first skin care product hits stores, a kind of mud face pack described as, "entirely organic, with bits of peanuts and corn."

And being filed under "Please, please, please make this happen"
The Red Sox attract a sold-out, standing-room-only crowd -- with tens of thousands more shut outside the stadium -- on Hit Ben Affleck With A Stick Night.

03-31-2005, 10:59 PM
That was one of the best things I've read on baseball from ESPN.com in a long time. Everything there was funny and right on the mark.

Ol' No. 2
03-31-2005, 11:05 PM
OMG. I only made it halfway through and I had to stop. :rolling:

04-01-2005, 12:59 PM
my favorites

With the pennant races really beginning to heat up, marches are held throughout the Midwest and West, demanding more media coverage of the Yankees and Red Sox.:rolleyes:

In an effort to show there are no hard feelings over the Red Sox's decision to hold their World Series ring ceremony before their home opener against New York, the Yankees donate 50,000 unsold "Who's Your Daddy?" T-shirts to a Boston orphanage

Before a home game against the Orioles, John Kerry tells fans at Fenway Park that he will work to get federal funding for construction of a statue outside the stadium to honor Red Sox legend Manny Ortez.

The Yankees announce they will begin providing Red Sox-logoed toilet paper in all bathroom stalls at Yankee Stadium

Several members of the Cubs express anger over the team's radio announcers telling listeners when they make outs.

and finally my poor friend Youppi!

Youppi! is thrown out of RFK Stadium, charged with trespassing and deported to Canada after he tries to sneak onto the field and serve as the Nationals' mascot.

Youppi! is thrown out of Montreal's Olympic Stadium when security personnel find him living in a storage closet.

Filthy, half naked and covered in track marks, Youppi!'s head is discovered in a gutter in Montreal's red light district, suffering from a heroine overdose.