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View Full Version : You are NOT going to believe this...


hsnterprize
02-21-2005, 07:12 AM
...or maybe you would consider who the subject is.

Local news reporters are at Harry Caray's Restaurant covering the distilling the Bartman Ball in Budweiser (of course, we all know that's how Harry would've wanted it) that will eventually be added to a spaghetti sauce and served to idiots (oh, I'm sorry...paying customers) with the proceeds going to charity. A reporter asked questions to the chef, a distiller, and a nutritionist who said after the process is completely done, the sauce will be totally edible and safe. Ed Curran of the CBS 2 Morning Show says the strings are being distilled into the "essence", or a liquid that will be poured into the sauce.

This is a pretty neat idea for a recipe. Why not try some of my fecal matter in a new sauce to top the hot dogs at Wrigley. Or better yet...why not distill some common sense into the drillrods who go to that joint so they can see they're being bamboozled again.

...but it's all for charity, right?

:chunks EAT THIS FOR CHARITY, YOU LOSERS!!!!!!!!!

hsnterprize
02-21-2005, 07:24 AM
According to WGN's Morning News, the recipe for this concoction calls for the ball shreds distilled in beer, along with vodka, rosemary, thyme, and bay leaves. Then, once this crap is just about done (and other TV stations showed this), a laser beam is shot through Harry's glasses before it's served to the pissants (my bad again...I gotta watch my language here...I'm a reputable journalist, and that's why I'm NOT at this joint. That's "bonafide Cubs fans").

Man...this is a great chance for some publicity for a struggling restaurant like Harry Caray's. Here's a marketing line for this great fundraiser...this dinner is brought to you by Pepto-Bismol...because after you're done eating this crap, if you don't want to do this... :chunks, take Pepto-Bismol. It coats, soothes, and relieves...but it won't make you smarter.

Cubbiesuck13
02-21-2005, 09:32 AM
In the Cubune, the quickhits article even makes fun of them. Leave it to Flub fans to embrace loosing, even if it's the biggest choke job since Buckner's Red Sox.

34 Inch Stick
02-21-2005, 09:45 AM
I do have to say this guy Grant DePorter has become a PR wizz with all of the attention he has garnered for that restaurant over the last few years.

I think they should dig up Harry's bones, take slivers of them, place each sliver in a gilded holding vessel and sell it as holy relics to the pilgrims who visit the shrine.

Jabroni
02-21-2005, 09:53 AM
I do have to say this guy Grant DePorter has become a PR wizz with all of the attention he has garnered for that restaurant over the last few years.

I think they should dig up Harry's bones, take slivers of them, place each sliver in a gilded holding vessel and sell it as holy relics to the pilgrims who visit the shrine.:)

This is truly embarrassing. I bet even Flubs fans think so.

MUsoxfan
02-21-2005, 12:26 PM
I think they should dig up Harry's bones, take slivers of them, place each sliver in a gilded holding vessel and sell it as holy relics to the pilgrims who visit the shrine.

Don't give them any ideas. Pretty soon Harry will be on display in a glass coffin like Lenin was for all those years.

....Maybe that shouldn't have been in teal

Cowhead418
02-21-2005, 01:23 PM
I told a lot of Cub fans at my high school about this spaghetti BS and they all thought it was the dumbest thing they ever heard. So, yes even Cub fans think this idea is asinine.

SoxxoS
02-21-2005, 05:27 PM
I told a lot of Cub fans at my high school about this spaghetti BS and they all thought it was the dumbest thing they ever heard. So, yes even Cub fans think this idea is asinine.

When the yuppies get plastered after work, anything looks or sounds good. I think Harry Carey's is playing that "munchie" angle.

mcfish
02-21-2005, 05:37 PM
Leave it to Flub fans to embrace loosing, even if it's the biggest choke job since Buckner's Red Sox.The best part is, they pretty much topped that choke job the very next year with the awful last week they had considering how few wins they needed to be the wild card. And then the Yankees have to go and blow it by topping that again 2 weeks later in a choke job that might never be topped.

StillMissOzzie
02-21-2005, 06:15 PM
Yes, I'll have the spaghetti with the horsehide marinara, please.

Even the sCrUB fans I know think that this is a shameful re-milking of what was a stupid, but PR-generating, stunt in the first place.

SMO
:gulp:

Hangar18
02-21-2005, 07:44 PM
I do have to say this guy Grant DePorter has become a PR wizz with all of the attention he has garnered for that restaurant over the last few years.


Grant DePorter wears a Red Jacket with tails, a black Top Hat,
and barks "Hurry Hurry Hurry, Step Right Up Cub Fans" ...............
and the Blue Sheep step right on up, fistfuls of cash, drunk on their own hype, ready to buy and believe anything. Only cub fans.

RKMeibalane
02-21-2005, 08:31 PM
I'm surprised the Cubs haven't tried to bring Harry Caray back to life, yet. I expect them to try it eventually, once the 2005 season goes down the drain for them.

SoxxoS
02-21-2005, 09:57 PM
I'm surprised the Cubs haven't tried to bring Harry Caray back to life, yet. I expect them to try it eventually, once the 2005 season goes down the drain for them.

They actually have the promotion this season...It's called "Weekend at the Urinal." This is similar to "Weekend at Bernie's" except Harry Carey is exhumed and placed in the broadcasters booth singing the 7th inning stretch with strings attached to his body.

eastchicagosoxfan
02-21-2005, 10:27 PM
This is what happens when you sell your baseball soul to the Devil. Garbage like that becomes important. The park is full, but you'll never win. Faust is smiling.

SOXPHILE
02-21-2005, 11:11 PM
Every time I think I've seen the lowest depths of stupidity that Cub Nation can wallow in, they dig themselves down a little deeper. The fact that this story has even been mentioned in print in any Chicago newspaper, and covered on T.V. continues the descent. If by June, the Cubs are struggling in 3rd place or worse, what do the blue & red throngs do next to break the curse ? After a game, do they gather all the urinal cakes from the troughs, and burn them in a bonfire in the outfield, while they chant the names of past Cubs players ? ("Deliver us from this curse ! Ryno ! Pray for us. Moreland ! Pray for us. Santo ! Pray for us. Both Hundleys ! Pray for us. Mike Vail ! Pray for us...)
If so, I'm sure they'll get the camera crews from all the networks to cover it as one of the top stories of the evening, and the Trib will have a big full color picture on the front page of the sports section with the headline "BURNIN' THE CURSE AWAY" or something like that.

StillMissOzzie
02-22-2005, 12:40 AM
Grant DePorter at Harry Caray's:

"Attention, all Cub fans enjoying our special spaghetti with horsehide marinara - please save your next BM in case we need something else to get rid of the curse. Thank you!"

SMO
:D: :gulp:

Edit: corrected spelling!

34 Inch Stick
02-22-2005, 09:47 AM
O.K. They took the bad luck ball and blew it up. Then they took the remains of the ball and made it food. The natural progression would be to use the "remains" of the food and do something with it next year. Instead Mike Kiley will just use it to write his stories.

Jerko
02-22-2005, 09:56 AM
I hope whoever ate any of that sauce is ****ting twine for the next 30 years.

Maximo
02-22-2005, 01:12 PM
I'm presuming when there's an Ecoli breakout in Chicago in a couple of weeks, Hangar will count it as a "Scrubs' story".

TheRedStapler
02-22-2005, 01:38 PM
Being a Sox fan is wonderful, No? Lets look at the off season and think about the conversations you have had with your fellow Sox fans and bask in the glory that is a promising up-coming season.

Now let us take a look across the city and wonder what it would be like to be a Cubs fan. Image that the only thing you have to debate about your team in the off season is whether to have Meat or Marinara Sauce with you Bartman Ball?

As if we needed any more ammo to tag the North Side as pathetic. I'll keep my Jumbo Pretzel and Hot Dog thank you very much.

flo-B-flo
02-23-2005, 02:38 PM
I'm surprised the Cubs haven't tried to bring Harry Caray back to life, yet. I expect them to try it eventually, once the 2005 season goes down the drain for them. So they can blame HIM for the next collapse:nuts:

mjharrison72
02-23-2005, 03:35 PM
What's so disgusting about the whole "bartman ball" phenomenon is it such ridiculous scapegoating... IIRC, that incident only prolonged the inning... several other things happened that resulted in an eight-run inning and one of the greatest chokes in the history of the game. Most Kubs fans also forget they had a 3-1 lead in that series and blew it. The scapegoating is so sad and pathetic... it's all they can do to blame the ball and not have to think about how bad their team actually sucks.

Cubbiesuck13
02-23-2005, 10:41 PM
What's so disgusting about the whole "bartman ball" phenomenon is it such ridiculous scapegoating... IIRC, that incident only prolonged the inning... several other things happened that resulted in an eight-run inning and one of the greatest chokes in the history of the game. Most Kubs fans also forget they had a 3-1 lead in that series and blew it. The scapegoating is so sad and pathetic... it's all they can do to blame the ball and not have to think about how bad their team actually sucks.

What is really sad is that they embrace their scapegoat. Boo Bartman but yay curse ball!!!! It would be one thing if they acually gave a crap about the team they field but they seem to be oblivious to them. Flubs 2005: It's all about me!

hsnterprize
02-24-2005, 08:20 AM
What is really sad is that they embrace their scapegoat. Boo Bartman but yay curse ball!!!! It would be one thing if they acually gave a crap about the team they field but they seem to be oblivious to them. Flubs 2005: It's all about me! I was listening to WLS-AM's Roe Conn while driving home from work yesterday. He talks with ABC-7's Ron Magers from 3 to 3:20 PM, and Magers said something very funny about this Bartman Ball crap. Ron said this is a story grandparents won't need to tell their grandchildren because 50 years from now, Cubs fans won't live this down because Harry Caray's will STILL be doing Bartman Ball-style promotions.

How they'll have parts of the ball then...I don't know, and I don't care.

Ol' No. 2
02-24-2005, 11:44 PM
I didn't realize they're already serving this stuff at Harry Carey's. According to SI it accounted for 40% of the restaurant's lunch orders on Monday.:thud:

RichFitztightly
02-24-2005, 11:49 PM
I didn't realize they're already serving this stuff at Harry Carey's. According to SI it accounted for 40% of the restaurant's lunch orders on Monday.:thud:

You gotta be crappin' me

SOXintheBURGH
02-24-2005, 11:49 PM
I didn't realize they're already serving this stuff at Harry Carey's. According to SI it accounted for 40% of the restaurant's lunch orders on Monday.:thud:

So that means 2 out of every 5 idiots are really, really stupid.

Foulke You
02-25-2005, 05:23 PM
I didn't realize they're already serving this stuff at Harry Carey's. According to SI it accounted for 40% of the restaurant's lunch orders on Monday.:thud:

Oh my God. I have to find a way to cash in on these morons. Perhaps I can print up t shirts that say "Curse Breaker- I ate the Bartman Spaghetti!" and sell them for $15 a piece. I'd probably make a mint. Afterwards, I'd offer them this bridge I have for sale in Brooklyn.

Frankfan4life
02-26-2005, 03:15 AM
I didn't realize they're already serving this stuff at Harry Carey's. According to SI it accounted for 40% of the restaurant's lunch orders on Monday.:thud:This truly makes Grant DePorter a genius. Let's see, he gets about $12.00 a plate for the nasty spaghetti meal that he donates to charity, then he gets a million dollars worth of free publicity, not to mention all the cub fans and tourists coming in the joint and buying thousands of dollars a day worth of booze and souvenirs. What a racket! cub fans will buy anything cub-related, unfortunately, so will the media.