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View Full Version : Jose Lima Gives Girl The Herps, Pays $500K


Unregistered
12-02-2004, 10:10 AM
Limatime! :o:

"She would certainly give up all the money to make the disease go away, but she realizes this is the next best thing."
...Right.


Link (http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=1936811)

Tekijawa
12-02-2004, 10:13 AM
Oh ****, I better start saving up... I'll be expecting a few phone calls from layers tonight after this one!

StillMissOzzie
12-02-2004, 12:02 PM
Oh ****, I better start saving up... I'll be expecting a few phone calls from layers tonight after this one!
Did you mean "lawyers" instead of "layers", cuz it kinda makes sense either way!

And Lima has such a hot wife, too. Talk about getting screwed...

SMO
:bandance:

the_valenstache
12-02-2004, 12:48 PM
And Lima has such a hot wife, too. Talk about getting screwed...
Jose better hope she didn't make an Anna Benson promise.

http://www.nypost.com/seven/12012004/gossip/pagesix.htm


http://espn.go.com/i/mlb/profiles/players/4432.jpg

"Just my ****in' luck."

Brian26
12-02-2004, 12:58 PM
Wow! :bandance:

StillMissOzzie
12-02-2004, 12:59 PM
Jose better hope she didn't make an Anna Benson promise.

http://www.nypost.com/seven/12012004/gossip/pagesix.htm


http://espn.go.com/i/mlb/profiles/players/4432.jpg

"Just my ****in' luck."
You beat me to the punch with the Anna Benson story, 'stache. It was also on page 115 of today's Sun-Times. Maybe Sosa will want to join the Mets more than ever.

SMO
:D:

Ol' No. 2
12-02-2004, 01:01 PM
Jose better hope she didn't make an Anna Benson promise.

http://www.nypost.com/seven/12012004/gossip/pagesix.htm


http://espn.go.com/i/mlb/profiles/players/4432.jpg

"Just my ****in' luck."So now I guess all Benson's teammates are going to be sending hookers to his room?

fquaye149
12-02-2004, 01:05 PM
"Mike Piazza just did a back flip," Stern said, egging her on.
in the words of jay-hova: we don't believe you, you need more people

Frankfan4life
12-02-2004, 03:03 PM
"The verdict is not supported by any evidence whatsoever," said lawyer Ralphaell Wilkins, who added in closing arguments that Lima should not be held responsible for transmitting a disease he didn't know he had.How can one not know they have genital herpes? Lima must be a very "tough" guy.

Ol' No. 2
12-02-2004, 03:17 PM
How can one not know they have genital herpes? Lima must be a very "tough" guy.Some people can be carriers and spread the disease without having any symptoms themselves. It's happened to people I know. And before you wise asses say it, no, I had nothing to do with it!

Unregistered
12-02-2004, 03:19 PM
I just wonder how many people would gladly contract herpes if it meant a $500,000 check was waiting for them... a lot, I'd bet.

Ol' No. 2
12-02-2004, 03:25 PM
I just wonder how many people would gladly contract herpes if it meant a $500,000 check was waiting for them... a lot, I'd bet.Not if they knew someone who had it.

the_valenstache
12-02-2004, 03:40 PM
I just wonder how many people would gladly contract herpes if it meant a $500,000 check was waiting for them... a lot, I'd bet.
It would have to be millions. Unless it involved a small, yet exclusive list of actresses and singers.

Seriously, though, this woman couldn't have held out for more than 500k? I could stub my toe at an Arby's and get more than that.

DrCrawdad
12-02-2004, 04:20 PM
A couple years ago the Sox stadium "DJ" lost his job for playing a song offensive to a Cleveland pitcher.

If you were the Sox stadium "DJ" and Jose Lima were the opposing pitcher, what song would you play to irritate Lima?

Frank Zappa's, "Why Does It Hurt When I Pee?"

Tekijawa
12-02-2004, 04:32 PM
A couple years ago the Sox stadium "DJ" lost his job for playing a song offensive to a Cleveland pitcher.

If you were the Sox stadium "DJ" and Jose Lima were the opposing pitcher, what song would you play to irritate Lima?

Frank Zappa's, "Why Does It Hurt When I Pee?"
"Ring of fire" by what's that dead guys name?

or "Rock and Roll McDonald's" by Wesley Willis?

ChiWhiteSox1337
12-02-2004, 04:36 PM
A couple years ago the Sox stadium "DJ" lost his job for playing a song offensive to a Cleveland pitcher.

If you were the Sox stadium "DJ" and Jose Lima were the opposing pitcher, what song would you play to irritate Lima?

Frank Zappa's, "Why Does It Hurt When I Pee?" haha, i actually know the guy who's in charge of the music at the cell now. i should bring that up next time i talk to him!

trailboss
12-02-2004, 04:54 PM
I had to get in on this one.

How about....

"Great balls of fire"?:angry:

"Hunka, hunka burnin love?"

"The theme from ER"?

DrCrawdad
12-02-2004, 05:06 PM
What was that Blue Oyster Cult song that went, "I'm burning, I'm burning for you..."

Wouldn't it be funny if when Lima were pitching a behind the plate advertisement was for Acyclovir or Valtrex?


http://losangeles.dodgers.mlb.com/la/photo/vin_scully_tribute/405vinnie.jpg
"Jose Lima and the Dodgers are brought to you today by Acyclovir. If your privates are itching, then you could be a professional baseball player or a genital herpes sufferer, or both. See your doctor for Acyclovir, the number one prescription medication for genital herpes."

http://www.doctorspharmacygroup.com/largeproduct/AcyclovirA.gif

steff
12-02-2004, 05:16 PM
I just wonder how many people would gladly contract herpes if it meant a $500,000 check was waiting for them... a lot, I'd bet.


I just did a quick minute of research on the matter.. and not for any amount of $$ would I want it. And, in my opinion, you are pretty sick to suggest such a thing.. but apparently wouldn't have any problem walking around with pussing bloody sores on your genitals. I'm sure you'd have a lot of fun spending that $$. Make it last a lifetime.. afterall.. herpes does.

StepsInSC
12-02-2004, 05:19 PM
I just did a quick minute of research on the matter.. and not for any amount of $$ would I want it. And, in my opinion, you are pretty sick to suggest such a thing.. but apparently wouldn't have any problem walking around with pussing bloody sores on your genitals. I'm sure you'd have a lot of fun spending that $$. Make it last a lifetime.. afterall.. herpes does.
In his defense I don't think most people realize how serious it is (so I've heard), seeing as how its commonly joked about in our society.

MUsoxfan
12-02-2004, 05:22 PM
In his defense I don't think most people realize how serious it is (so I've heard), seeing as how its commonly joked about in our society.

That's true. Very few people know about STD's (except HIV/AIDS) and are unaware of the effects until one actually contracts the disease. My friends and I are guilty of joking about such matters, but we have a really demented sense of humor.

DrCrawdad
12-02-2004, 05:24 PM
In his defense I don't think most people realize how serious it is (so I've heard), seeing as how its commonly joked about in our society.

Genital herpes is very common. IIRC about 50% of adult Americans have the condition. Seeing as how it's so common, and non-life threatening, it's not a surprise that it's joked about. Of course that's little consolation to someone suffering, as graphically depicted by Steff.

trailboss
12-02-2004, 05:24 PM
You're bringing us down Steff!


I'm still looking for the perfect musical intro for Jose "the Hose" Lima.


Maybe "Wrap it up" --the Fabulous Thunderbirds


or "Let it bleed" -- the Stones


Anything by "Cream"! :bandance:

DrCrawdad
12-02-2004, 05:26 PM
You're bringing us down Steff!


I'm still looking for the perfect musical intro for Jose "the Hose" Lima.


Maybe "Wrap it up" --the Fabulous Thunderbirds


or "Let it bleed" -- the Stones


Anything by "Cream"! :bandance:

Is there an animated gif for a guilty laugh?

MUsoxfan
12-02-2004, 05:29 PM
You're bringing us down Steff!


I'm still looking for the perfect musical intro for Jose "the Hose" Lima.


Maybe "Wrap it up" --the Fabulous Thunderbirds


or "Let it bleed" -- the Stones


Anything by "Cream"! :bandance:

That's fantastic. If I were JR I'd hire you just so I could fire you later on

Unregistered
12-02-2004, 05:37 PM
I just did a quick minute of research on the matter.. and not for any amount of $$ would I want it. And, in my opinion, you are pretty sick to suggest such a thing.. but apparently wouldn't have any problem walking around with pussing bloody sores on your genitals. I'm sure you'd have a lot of fun spending that $$. Make it last a lifetime.. afterall.. herpes does. Reeeeelax. I'm just saying that $500k would go a long way for a lot of people not to mention the fact that there are tons of drugs that keep the disease in remission. That's not to say it is something someone would WANT to have, but I think you're being a little dramatic. As was mentioned before, roughly HALF the American adult population has it and somehow manage to live their lives.

The question stands...

trailboss
12-02-2004, 05:55 PM
You guys are no fun.

soltrain21
12-02-2004, 06:21 PM
Is there an animated gif for a guilty laugh?




http://www.cloudchaser.com/images/smilies/chuckle.gif

batmanZoSo
12-02-2004, 07:00 PM
If the Valtrex commercials are any indication, herpes looks like a smashing good time. You get to dance on the beach with good-looking chicks.

http://www.valtrex.com/images/home_image.jpg

Chrisaway
12-02-2004, 07:21 PM
If the Valtrex commercials are any indication, herpes looks like a smashing good time. You get to dance on the beach with good-looking chicks.

http://www.valtrex.com/images/home_image.jpg
ahahaha "it's a brand new day"

Palehose13
12-02-2004, 09:19 PM
I had to get in on this one.

How about....

"Great balls of fire"?:angry:

"Hunka, hunka burnin love?"

:rolling:

FightingBillini
12-03-2004, 01:41 AM
That's true. Very few people know about STD's (except HIV/AIDS) and are unaware of the effects until one actually contracts the disease. My friends and I are guilty of joking about such matters, but we have a really demented sense of humor.
Damn straight. Chlamydia? I thought that was that the name of the daughter on the Jeffersons!

That is the case, though. I am six years removed from high school health class, and I remember NOTHING about STDs other than AIDS and herpes. They really only spent time on those two. Its a shame too. I see some of those girls (and guys too) that were in my high school class around U of I, and they are pretty much going home with a different person every night of the week (college promiscuity:o: ). They could really use another lecture on those things.

pudge
12-03-2004, 02:29 AM
Genital herpes is very common. IIRC about 50% of adult Americans have the condition. Seeing as how it's so common, and non-life threatening, it's not a surprise that it's joked about. Of course that's little consolation to someone suffering, as graphically depicted by Steff.
That is completely wrong, I think the number is more like 20%, which is still quite a lot of people.

What people get so confused with is that there are genital herpes, and then there's herpes simplex, which results in cold sores on the lips and mouth. It has been estimated that anywhere from 50%-90% of Americans have the herpes simplex virus.

hose
12-03-2004, 06:22 AM
I think it all comes down to if Lima knew he had Herpes or not.

If he knew he the virus by going to a doctor and getting tested and then had sex without telling the woman then I think its fair that he got sued.

This is just my opinion on being honest and open with the woman in trying to establish an relationship.

One night stands are risking. Lima could have just as easily got HIV/AIDS in return while he his doling out the Herpes.

PaulDrake
12-03-2004, 09:06 AM
That is completely wrong, I think the number is more like 20%, which is still quite a lot of people.

What people get so confused with is that there are genital herpes, and then there's herpes simplex, which results in cold sores on the lips and mouth. It has been estimated that anywhere from 50%-90% of Americans have the herpes simplex virus. I was hoping someone would clear that matter up. I know we have a physician who posts here. The 20% figure is about right. The New England Journal of medicine posted a comprehensive study in the late 90's. This virus manifests itself in many forms, including chicken pox.

wdelaney72
12-03-2004, 10:45 AM
"Ring of fire" by what's that dead guys name?

or "Rock and Roll McDonald's" by Wesley Willis?
Ring of Fire was the late, great Johnny Cash.

How about,
"Love At First Feel" by AC/DC
"She Loves My Cock" by Jackyl
"Great Balls of Fire" by Jerry Lee Lewis

DrCrawdad
12-03-2004, 10:48 AM
That is completely wrong, I think the number is more like 20%, which is still quite a lot of people.

What people get so confused with is that there are genital herpes, and then there's herpes simplex, which results in cold sores on the lips and mouth. It has been estimated that anywhere from 50%-90% of Americans have the herpes simplex virus.

Results of a nationally representative study show that genital herpes infection is common in the United States. Nationwide, at least 45 million people ages 12 and older, or one out of five adolescents and adults, have had genital HSV infection. Between the late 1970s and the early 1990s, the number of Americans with genital herpes infection increased 30 percent. - Center for Disease Control

20%

JKryl
12-03-2004, 11:03 AM
Jose better hope she didn't make an Anna Benson promise.

http://www.nypost.com/seven/12012004/gossip/pagesix.htm


Just make sure you jump in line first. Who knows where those bat boys have been.

trailboss
12-03-2004, 12:42 PM
O.K., here's how it goes down (sorry).:tongue:

Instead of the national anthem, we start with Anna Benson singing, "Put me in coach, I'm ready to play....today.":redface:

When Lima is introduced, the organist (pun intended) will strike up, "Do you know the way to Ann, Jose?" (again, sorry)
Between innings, Kris Benson can do a solo "All by myself".:bandance:


For the 7th inning "stretch", will use Lennon's "Norwegian wood".

Every time a player gets to third base (think about it), they'll automatially get to score.:rolleyes:

When the games over, we'll have a duet with Anna and Jose signing, "I've got a bad case of lovin you".:whiner:

steff
12-03-2004, 12:58 PM
Reeeeelax. I'm just saying that $500k would go a long way for a lot of people not to mention the fact that there are tons of drugs that keep the disease in remission. That's not to say it is something someone would WANT to have, but I think you're being a little dramatic. As was mentioned before, roughly HALF the American adult population has it and somehow manage to live their lives.

The question stands...
Sick.


IMO, of course.

Unregistered
12-03-2004, 02:24 PM
Sick.


IMO, of course.
Noted. :D:

Frankfan4life
12-04-2004, 05:44 PM
Reeeeelax. I'm just saying that $500k would go a long way for a lot of people not to mention the fact that there are tons of drugs that keep the disease in remission. That's not to say it is something someone would WANT to have, but I think you're being a little dramatic. As was mentioned before, roughly HALF the American adult population has it and somehow manage to live their lives.

The question stands...Perhaps, you'll get the symptom-free kind of herpes, marry a hot chick and when cheating on her have to pay-up for transmitting it to an unwitting sweet thing with ties to a good lawyer. There goes the 5k.

flo-B-flo
12-04-2004, 09:42 PM
A couple years ago the Sox stadium "DJ" lost his job for playing a song offensive to a Cleveland pitcher.

If you were the Sox stadium "DJ" and Jose Lima were the opposing pitcher, what song would you play to irritate Lima?

Frank Zappa's, "Why Does It Hurt When I Pee?" LOL!

Nick@Nite
12-08-2004, 08:58 PM
... nobody's mentioned Jose Lima today. His asking price: 5 Mil! <---:rolling:

Dodgers Let Lima & Finley Walk (http://www.jimrome.com/home/article/article_4.html)