View Full Version : Somewhere in Arizona...

11-26-2004, 12:29 AM
In 2003, the Red Sox, specifically Theo Epstein, used Thanksgiving dinner to lure Curt Schilling to Boston. After dinner, Epstein convinced Schilling to log onto the now famous Red Sox site, Sons of Sam Horn, where Schilling spent time chatting with Red Sox fans. Schilling and the Red Sox later credited SoSH for showing Curt how passionate Red Sox fans are, thus convincing Schilling to agree to join the BoSox.

Cut to 2004 where Kenny Williams and Jerry Reinsdorf implement a similar strategy in hoping to convince Randy Johnson to waive his no-trade clause in order to come to the White Sox. Somewhere in Phoenix, Arizona...

"We're happy to have you both over for Thanksgiving dinner, Kenny and Jerry. I look forward to hearing what both of you have to say. I hope you enjoy dinner."

"Thanks, Randy. Everything looks good. I can't wait to dig in. So here's what we have in mind. We think we have we have a real solid rotation put together right now. We think this is a playoff team right now, and with your addition, we have no doubt that we can make a serious run through the playoffs. Mmmm, good turkey, very good."

"Well I must say, I have some questions about just how serious of a contender the White Sox truly are. There are several suitors that I think are more serious contenders right now. Are you guys planning on any other acquisitions? O, and can you pass the gravy?"

"Sure, well, we're looking for some more grinders. We just added a left hander named Kenny Walker to our bullpen who we think will..."

*whispers in Kenny's ear* "Kevin Walker"

"Right, Kevin Walker. We think he upgrades our bullpen which is already strong. We're looking at bringing in another middle infielder and we've targeted some of the top players at those positions. Your addition to our roster could make our situation even more appealing to players such as Edgar Renteria and Todd Walker." *Attempts to pass gravy but spills it all over the table "Son of a *****! Sorry about that, Randy."

*rolls eyes as he cleans up the mess* "Don't worry about it. So anyways, I am very interested in discussing a one year extension with any team I accept
a trade to. What do the prospects look like for this happening with the White Sox?"

"Well we have put together what we believe is a very fair offer for the extra year. It would pay you in the same range of what you will make in 2005. Of course, if enough fans don't show up in 2005, the one year extension will automatically be void. But don't worry, the attendance should go up."

"Wow, well that's uhhh...interesting. Since this extension would be contingent on the fans showing up, why don't you tell me a little about White Sox fans.
What makes you so sure that I won't have to worry about the attendance going up? Can you pass the Cranberry sauce, Kenny?"

"Here you g... *knocks Randy's drink over while passing the Cranberry sauce* Damnit! Sorry about that too.......There's a simple explanation to that. 1917, Randy. 1917. We have great fans. They are passionate, energetic, and they want to see the White Sox win a World Series. Unlike other teams fans, they only care about one thing, winning. As a matter of fact, do you have a computer I could use? I'd like to show you something."

11-26-2004, 12:29 AM
"Sure, there's one right over there."

*Kenny goes to the computer and proceeds to punch up www.whitesoxinteractive.com (http://www.whitesoxinteractive.com/)*

"This site represents some of the most die-hard White Sox fans around. Why don't you chat with some of them for a little while and see for yourself how passionate they are."

*Randy logs into the WSI chat and notices no one there*
"Kenny, there's no one in here."

*leans back and loosens belt*
"Ha, just like White Sox fans. They don't even show up to their own chat room. Brilliant plan, Kenny!"

"It's not my fault! Theo gave me some advice. How was I supposed to know that there wouldn't be anyone in there. Besides, at least we have an excuse in place now."

*Kenny and JR proceed to get into a heated discussion and become completely oblivious to what the Big Unit is doing and saying*

"Here we go. Apparently they only use the chat room during games. I just logged onto the message boards. I'm impressed with how many fans are on here talking about the Sox during Thanksgiving. These fans really do seem passionate. They even have a picture of me in a White Sox uniform. Creative."

*Kenny and JR continue to argue over why Kenny chose to rely on White Sox fans to sell Randy on accepting a trade to the South Side, completely ignoring what Randy is saying*

"These fans really do seem passionate. I don't know why you question whether they will come out to the park."

*Kenny finally loses it and flips the table over, spilling Thanksgiving dinner all over, while calling JR an *******

"What the hell. This is just weird now. Get the **** out of my house!"

*Fade to black*

And so Kenny and JR leave the Big Unit's house and walk into the sunset, not only having failed to sell RJ on accepting a trade to the Sox, but also having prompted RJ to make a call to Brian Cashman to push along the trade to the Yankees.

Please note, the preceding was simply a joke meant to lighten the mood around here during the holidays. I know of no such incidents actually occurring. :smile:

11-26-2004, 12:35 AM
Good stuff :gulp: .

11-26-2004, 12:37 AM
The Kenny Walker thing was gold...GOLD!

11-26-2004, 01:02 AM
:redneck :tongue: :redneck

Well done. That was funny. :D:

11-26-2004, 01:03 AM
After a Thanksgiving only slightly less disastrous than that, I needed a good laugh. Thanks.

11-28-2004, 09:01 PM

11-28-2004, 10:09 PM
These fans really do seem passionate. They even have a picture of me in a White Sox uniform. Creative."

hahahhaha. thats rich!:gulp:

11-28-2004, 10:36 PM
"These fans really do seem passionate. They even have a picture of me in a White Sox uniform. Creative." When I get some more free time, I'll work on getting Konerko and Garland in a sankes uni. :cool:

Until then.....
:worship: https://netfiles.uiuc.edu/bschalle/www/AACW027.jpg

11-28-2004, 10:55 PM
:kneeslap: :kneeslap: :roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao:

Too funny!