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Procol Harum
02-17-2004, 10:29 AM
I got my initial inspiration for this little idea from A.Cavatica's teal thread "Another One Gone..." in which he dryly noted that the Yankees had "beaten" us to A-Rod.

Well, that got me thinking as to what the world for WSI denizens might look like if we lived on Bizarro World, the backwards planet in the old Superman comics. So, here are some ideas of what the offseason might have looked like in the newspaper headlines if "Bizarro Reinsdorf," "Bizarro Kenny," and "Bizarro Gallas" had been at the reins the past few months:

-"Reinsdorf Says: 'We Need To Field A Better Team to Earn Fans' Respect and Attendance' "

-"Sox Cut Parking and Ticket Prices; Admit 2003 Hikes Were Bad Idea"

-"Williams Says $68 Million in Cell Improvements Will Free Up Sox Money to Sign Free Agents"

-"Colon Inks Three Year Deal With Sox"

-"Ozzie & Frank in All-Night Dialogue; Frank Says "It's All About the Team"

-"Robbie Alomar Back For 2004; Willie Harris Enrolled in Hitting Program at Sox Academy in Lisle"

-"White Sox Expand Half-Price & Family Night Promotions"

-"Jerry: 'This Town Will Be a White Sox Town by 2010' "

-"An Offer He Couldn't Refuse: Sox Double Graffanino Salary as Part of Commitment to Winning"

-"Schilling Coming to the South Side?"

-"Magg-lee-OH! Ordonez Locked Up in Six Year Deal"

-"A-Rod For Konerko and Wright?? Rumors Fly"

-"Sox Steal Maddux From Under Cubs' Nose at Last Minute"


Any others come to mind? :smile:

chisoxmike
02-17-2004, 10:32 AM
"Major Leauge Baseball steps in on Cubs bookees and contracts them from Baseball-- Tribune company buys White Sox"

wdelaney72
02-17-2004, 10:33 AM
Jerry Reinsdorf Sells White Sox!

Happy Felsch Fan
02-17-2004, 10:36 AM
Sox close deal on site of Arlington Race track for new state of the art stadium.

Baby Fisk
02-17-2004, 10:40 AM
This is cruel & unusual punishment. :(: But I'm in...

"Sox-Fisk Reunification -- Fisk to Manage Minor League Team -- Fisk: 'This is where I belong.' "

"Joe Jackson, Buck Weaver elected to Hall of Fame."

"A-Rod invokes No Yankees Clause, demands trade to South Side."

"Sox Win 14-Inning Thriller to Topple Cubs in Game 7 -- Greatest World Series Game in History -- Wrigley Field Burned to the Ground."

This is addictive. :D:

Jjav829
02-17-2004, 10:42 AM
Williams admits: "I can't blame the fans for not coming out. Until we become a better team, I wouldn't come out to the park either."

New owner Trump reveals plan: "To compete with the Yankees, it is crucial that this teams payroll is over $100 million."

Dadawg_77
02-17-2004, 10:59 AM
DePodesta named White Sox GM months after Kenny Williams was fired.

Robbie Alomar returns to White Sox as a coach. Realizing his hall of fame career is on a serious down turn, Robbie joins his Brother and Father as coaches in Chicago. (Sandy also retires)

In amazing turn of events, A Rod is traded to the White Sox for Mark Burehle and Mags. MB became expendable when Kevin Brown and Curt Schilling arrived on the South side this off season. Owner dadawg_77 in a post on whitesoxinteractive.com said, while he thinks Mark and Mags are very valuable players, the team is just better with A Rod at SS. Jose Valentin will move to 2B.

In amazing five team deal the White Sox trade Carlos Lee and pitching prospects and end up with Carlos Beltran.

The Sox signed Brad Fullmer today, indicating he will platoon with good old number 14.

Keith Foulke returns to the White Sox. Keith said, "after seeing the IQ of management jump, after Kenny dismissal (reminder the spot is still open at the time of this comment), the White Sox are on the right track to win Chicago a World Series"

Earl Weaver has come out of retirement to replace Jerry Manuel as manger of White Sox. Earl's first order of business was to call Frank Thomas and let him know to work on his fielding skills as he will become the every day first baseman for the 2004 campaign.

Season Ticket and pre season ticket sales for the White Sox guarantee at least 2.5 million people through the gate this year. The Sox are expecting three million paid tickets this season.

CubKilla
02-17-2004, 10:59 AM
Reinsdorf: "Sox fans suffered long enough. I'm selling to someone who gives a ****."

Procol Harum
02-17-2004, 11:03 AM
Keep in mind that the "Bizarro" Reinsdorf/Williams/Gallas, etc., etc. would act/do/say the opposite of what our "real world" versions might act/do/say. In other words, they would actually do the right thing and be loved by Sox fans the world over. Yes, this is the ultimate fantasy exercise... :D:

Dadawg_77
02-17-2004, 11:05 AM
After a historic run Reed win AL Rookie of the year. As leadoff of man of the White Sox, his .456 OBP lead the Sox to capture World Series. RF Joe Borchard would have provided some compition but had too many AB qualify.

A Rod wins the Reg MVP while Frank Thomas wins the World Series MVP after hitting the game winner in game seven off of a reliving Mark Prior.

The City of Chicago did not burn to the ground after the White Sox beat Cubs in game seven of the 2004 World Series.

akingamongstmen
02-17-2004, 12:42 PM
White Sox and Astros form Unholy Alliance...
Players from both teams are "traded" as needed.
Sox "trade" Carlos Lee to Astros for games against the Cubs. Astros "trade" Clemens and Petitte to Sox for games against the Yankees.
New Sox Manager Carlton Fisk proclaims, "Yankee Stadium and Wrigley Field will be open for group outings in October."

Kuzman
02-17-2004, 01:09 PM
"After DNA testing-- Steve Bartman is Reinsdorf forgotten son!"

Tekijawa
02-17-2004, 01:11 PM
"Upper Deck EXTENDED to add 12 rows and Park now Domed!"

"Billy Koch buys two more "cursed pillars" says you can never have too much of a bad thing"

"Robert Person has Career saving Injury... "I was just stretching out and heard a POP, I can now throw a 150 mph curveball" admits the verteran"

Paulwny
02-17-2004, 02:10 PM
King George falls in love with the southside of Chi; sells the yankmees for $1 billion dollars and commits all his money to build the sox into a dynasty.

akingamongstmen
02-17-2004, 03:58 PM
Originally posted by Tekijawa

"Robert Person has Career saving Injury... "I was just stretching out and heard a POP, I can now throw a 150 mph curveball" admits the verteran"

Haha...makes you feel bad for Miguel Olivo, doesn't it? :D:

faneidde
02-17-2004, 05:36 PM
The Sox ship a few mid-level prospects to the Indians for CF Willie Hayes, 3B Roger Dorn, and RP Rick Vaughn.

surfdudes
02-18-2004, 09:04 AM
api... dateline 2012

The "Big Hurt" Frank Thomas finally called it quits this afternoon at a press conference in front of MSN South stadium, quietly stating, "6 rings and 4 MVP's are enough for me, I feel my career is complete"

MikeKreevich
02-18-2004, 09:39 AM
Carlos Castillo reports to camp at 200 lbs.. He states, "I owe it all to Trim Spa".