My new business plan

[Irishlawyer]

As an attorney, I do work on various transactional matters for various clients. I believe I should implement the following business plan on a go forward basis:

When I take in a new client and do their work, I will not try my best to serve that client. In fact, I will go out of my way to explain to the client that my overhead is high, I pay my paralegal, associate and secretarial staff alot of money and that I just cannot put enough time and effort into getting the client's work done in a quality way. Along the course of the engagement, I will hovever, let the client know that I have made a few calls and a few inquiries to the best people who might be able to help with the case, but I won't hire them or get any substantive information from them. We will all know that this is basically lip service, but I won't admit it. In fact, I'll actually hire on people who are semi-retired or not very skilled. I will also suggest that whatever the legal problem is, it is the client's fault and they deserve it. Finally, when the matter is complete, I will explain to the client that I know that my service and quality are bad, but, if they bring me more work and more clients, it might get better.

I wonder if this is how Jerry practiced law himself?

Maybe this would work in some of your jobs too!

[hose]

Originally posted by Irishlawyer
As an attorney, I do work on various transactional matters for various clients. I believe I should implement the following business plan on a go forward basis:

When I take in a new client and do their work, I will not try my best to serve that client. In fact, I will go out of my way to explain to the client that my overhead is high, I pay my paralegal, associate and secretarial staff alot of money and that I just cannot put enough time and effort into getting the client's work done in a quality way. Along the course of the engagement, I will hovever, let the client know that I have made a few calls and a few inquiries to the best people who might be able to help with the case, but I won't hire them or get any substantive information from them. We will all know that this is basically lip service, but I won't admit it. In fact, I'll actually hire on people who are semi-retired or not very skilled. I will also suggest that whatever the legal problem is, it is the client's fault and they deserve it. Finally, when the matter is complete, I will explain to the client that I know that my service and quality are bad, but, if they bring me more work and more clients, it might get better.

I wonder if this is how Jerry practiced law himself?

Maybe this would work in some of your jobs too!




I would like to suggest one thing to add to your business plan.

Have the state pay for your office building and your rent is based on how many clients come through the front door.

[soxfan26]

Originally posted by Irishlawyer
As an attorney, I do work on various transactional matters for various clients. I believe I should implement the following business plan on a go forward basis:

When I take in a new client and do their work, I will not try my best to serve that client. In fact, I will go out of my way to explain to the client that my overhead is high, I pay my paralegal, associate and secretarial staff alot of money and that I just cannot put enough time and effort into getting the client's work done in a quality way. Along the course of the engagement, I will hovever, let the client know that I have made a few calls and a few inquiries to the best people who might be able to help with the case, but I won't hire them or get any substantive information from them. We will all know that this is basically lip service, but I won't admit it. In fact, I'll actually hire on people who are semi-retired or not very skilled. I will also suggest that whatever the legal problem is, it is the client's fault and they deserve it. Finally, when the matter is complete, I will explain to the client that I know that my service and quality are bad, but, if they bring me more work and more clients, it might get better.

I wonder if this is how Jerry practiced law himself?

Maybe this would work in some of your jobs too!

Hey people may not like it, but this town has always belonged to the crooks.