Cubs Pennant Primer

[Bobby Thigpen]

While reading the Cubune this morning I happened upon this fine piece of journalism on the back page of the sports section. In was one of the funniest things that I have ever read. While "educating" Cubs fans on their team the subject of cork came up, this is a sprinkling of what they had to say.

"What Sammy Sosa put in his bat ONE day to earn a suspension..."

"It's also been found in champagne bottle used during PENNANT CLINCHINGS and other celebrations."

I find both of these hillarious for the reasons in capitals. The fact that Cubs fans cling to the notion that Sammy's using cork was a once in a lifetime occurance is absolutely stupifying to me. Are they really that dumb? (I know they are, but come on.)

Lastly, the second sentence is either the best proof Cubs fans are retards (I mean they clinch things so rarely they may not actually know that you celebrate such things by popping the cork on some champagne), or just another assumption by the Cubune of an impending Cubs pennant. Either makes me laugh. The arrogance of the owners of one of the WORST organizations in pro sports history is absolutely hillarious.

[cheeses_h_rice]

Oh, Bobby, now you're just being cynical.

I find it completely believable that that was the ONLY time Sham-ME* ever corked his bat. Ever. No, for real, I'm serious!

I mean, just because all of the following had to happen for this to be true doesn't dissuade me:

1. Sham-ME* corking his bat.

2. Sham-ME* not noticing that he was using the corked bat.

3. Sham-ME*'s bat breaking during that one at-bat.

4. The bat breaking in such a way as to expose the cork.

5. A player on the opposing team looking at the broken bat.

6. This player noticing the cork inside the bat.

7. This player thinking enough of it to bring it to the attention of the umpires.


I mean, come on, surely you can't say that he got away with using a corked bat other times, right?

[bobj4400]

Originally posted by cheeses_h_rice
Oh, Bobby, now you're just being cynical.

I find it completely believable that that was the ONLY time Sham-ME* ever corked his bat. Ever. No, for real, I'm serious!

I mean, just because all of the following had to happen for this to be true doesn't dissuade me:

1. Sham-ME* corking his bat.

2. Sham-ME* not noticing that he was using the corked bat.

3. Sham-ME*'s bat breaking during that one at-bat.

4. The bat breaking in such a way as to expose the cork.

5. A player on the opposing team looking at the broken bat.

6. This player noticing the cork inside the bat.

7. This player thinking enough of it to bring it to the attention of the umpires.


I mean, come on, surely you can't say that he got away with using a corked bat other times, right?


:shammy

"Cheeses, you are now on my enemic list and must apologi for your hurtful words."

[Hokiesox]

Originally posted by bobj4400
:shammy

"Cheeses, you are now on my enemic list and must apologi for your hurtful words."


isn't that "hurful words"?

[Unregistered]

Originally posted by Hokiesox
isn't that "hurful words"? Please. Like Sammy can say "words". I'm thinking something along the lines of "her fell worse."

[Bobby Thigpen]

"Cheeses, you are now on my enemic list and must apologi for your hurtful words."

Please. Like Sammy can say "words".

I think it's a pretty big jump to assume Sammy can READ words. Ohh, there I go being racist again.

[chuckn98229]

he may not be able to read or speak english, but he sure can play baseball under that hot summer sun ! - just ask his manager.

[Chisox353014]

Saw this on the Cubune website today. I feel dumber for having read it.
I'm sure the "White Sox Pennant Primer" will be coming any day now.