The Moron Report

[cheeses_h_rice]

http://www.suntimes.com/output/mariotti/cst-spt-jay22.html

:moron

I have a simple formula for my column topic picks:

1. When the Flubs lose, I write about Michael Jordan, Tiger Woods, or bash Northwestern University. You'll notice a lot has been written about Michael Jordan and Northwestern the past few days.

2. When the Flubbies win, I write about the Flubbies winning.

3. When the Flubbies lose but Sam-ME has a good game, I write about Sam-ME.

4. When the Sox do anything, I mostly ignore them, except to bash the players who bash me.

[Appling]

It's funny because it's true...

[Spiff]

"I'd like to tell you NU never should stoop to the lows of Nebraska and Florida State and other football factories."

Ok, now I hate the guy even more than I did before.

It's just bad bad bad bad writing.

[No-Neck]

5. I've never had a creative thought since urging the firing of Mike Ditka and ushering in the Wannie era, but I can surely bash the Scum Sox!

[NUCatsFan]

Take a look at Melissa Isaacson's one in the Cubune.

Cubune article (http://chicagosports.com/college/content/column/0,2007,160210,00.html)

[Spiff]

At least she seems to know what she's talking about, and she doesn't use tired cliches or indecipherable metaphors every other sentence.

But she's basically regurgitating what WE already KNOW.