View Full Version : Top Ten Reasons Wrigley will be named a historic landmark

03-14-2003, 08:33 AM
Top Ten Reasons Wrigley Field will be declared a historic landmark:

10) Fans won't litter the field with garbage if the Cubs move to Schaumburg.

9) So all the frat boys in the neighborhood can tell their mothers they are learning about history.

8) To make people actually go to work in the afternoon and improve city productivity.

7) Almost 100 years of futility needs to be preserved for future generations.

6) The city wants GOOD teams to play there, like the Public League baseball championship.

5) Chicago wants the Cubs to move to get Ronnie Woo-Woo off the city streets.

4) Boys Town needs a chi-chi place to hold their rallies.

3) People will want to tour the 8,000 terrace seats where people from Iowa paid good money to not be able to see the sky.

2) The bathroom facilities are the world's finest museums of the plumbing industry

1) Mayor Daley is a Sox fan.

Joe P

03-14-2003, 09:57 AM
that's comedy !
send that to Letterman

ode to veeck
03-14-2003, 10:04 AM
11) becuase of babe ruth's so called "predicted home run", he was actually trying to point out what he thought was the direction to McCuddy's, his usual home away from home in Chicago

12) because of the stupid cyclone fences added to the outfield walls since ~'70, the only walls on top of walls in baseball intended to keep drunk fans from falling on the field with their 30th beer

13)because of the close proximity to the totally non-ventilated cubby bear lounge, where the likes of koko taylor and other local blues and rock bands plied their careers

14)the unique location where in 1969, Chris Buist set the world record for 12 year olds for downing hot dogs in a nine innning game. He finished off an even dozen, mostly because he was pretty bored with an otherwise pretty dismal display of baseball. As a sign of his boredom, it was the last time Chris appeared in a major league park without getting into a scuffle.

15)because of its unique significance as a memorial to "neighborhood rights", the spot where, on a hot and humid summer solctice eve in 2004, local residents, tired of the 30,000 drunken disorderly bums dumped into their neighborhood each day and the intent of the cubune to substantially enlarge the park's seating, spontaneously tore the place down brick by brick and then burned the bleachers, grandstand seats, and hallowed ivy in a large bonfire while they sang "take me out to the ballpark"

03-14-2003, 12:57 PM
May I add an item?

16) Because it contains genetic traces (assuming that both had to use the toilet while they were in the building) of both Ronald Reagan and Hillary Rodham Clinton. At the very least, both contributed to the funky stench that emanates from the Wrigley urinals.

03-14-2003, 01:04 PM
17) Wrigley is the Only Museum In the City that smells
like Urine

03-14-2003, 05:57 PM
18. In the long run, the city would like to see the Tribune Company take their NAMBLA meetings elswhere.

03-14-2003, 09:26 PM
Has National Park Service declared the rest of Bill Veeck's flower boxes protected sites?

03-15-2003, 12:37 AM
Originally posted by LuvSox
18. In the long run, the city would like to see the Tribune Company take their NAMBLA meetings elswhere.